Cave In
by antepathy
Summary: Optimus Bob and I are co-writing a fun uh, not so little piece for you! Autobots and Decepticons, forced to work together? What will happen? Adventure and enemy-cooperatin' fun!
1. Chapter 1

My good e-friend Optimus Bob and I are fans of each other's work on another TF site. So we decided to collaborate for a cute piece that's semi-AU. Bob's Autobots, and my Decepticons, forced to work together. We both post here under Transformers(movie) so if you like what you see, venture on over there for more goodness!!!

I.

The new ship had worked much better than predicted. It sailed easily into the vacuum of space, even with its new payload of Neptunium. Nadya Cherenkov was pleased as she worked the controls of their new ship. She and Philippe Stokes had been given clearance to fly the ship on its maiden voyage to Neptune's largest moon Triton, to mine the new mineral, as they had been some of the only astronauts to have knowledge of their allies. Glancing out of the cockpit window, she gave a small wave. The small yellow Autobot inclined his head in a nod and waved back, he was joined by a much larger black and white mech who cast him a stern look. Bumblebee chastised, returned to escorting the shuttle back to Earth.

"How you holding up back there Philippe?"

"I really wish you didn't call me that."

"It suits you." Nadya laughed lightly at the grumbling from the back of the reverse engineered shuttle. Stokes glided up to join her in the cockpit.

"Shame they couldn't figure out the artificial gravity from the Ark's specs." He sighed as he buckled himself in.

"You should be used to the zero g by now."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it. How's our taxi service doing?"

Nadya glanced once more out of the cockpit. "We have three escorts that I've seen. Bumblebee has already got the glare from Prowl; Ironhide is taking up the rear."

"Man Prowl doesn't relax does he?"

"Not that I've noticed. I like it he gets the job done." Nadya chuckled, as Stokes pulled a face.

Their comm. system filled with static as they left the vicinity of Neptune.

"Optimus to the Intrepid."

"Go ahead Optimus, this is Nadya."

"What is your status?"

"We're on our way back, ahead of schedule and we have enough Neptunium for you guys to work with for at least a couple of decades."

"That's good news Intrepid; the Ark is positioned outside the asteroid belt. We will dock you with you in approximately 30 minutes Optimus out."

"Bet they're pleased." Grinned Stokes. This mission had been planned for just over a year with the help of the Autobots after the first discovery of naturally existing Neptunium was detected by their very own ISS. The President had thought it fitting to provide their new allies with the means to collect energy to sustain themselves and potentially replace their dwindling energy reserves after what they had done to save planet Earth.

****

Blackout's cargo hold recoiled as he fired his main gun. Dead End jumped, his eyes shifting nervously.

"Calm down," Barricade said. He rose to his knees, fixing the attachment points of the booster pack under his fairings. "Means it's about time."

The smaller bot scrambled, grabbing at his own pack, running nervous hands over the pile of carry harness.

"I am calm," he lied.

"Know your job?" Barricade grabbed for a handhold as Blackout swung wide.

"Yeah," Dead End said, hotly. "Know what I'm doing." He lost his footing and fell into the pile of plasmetal straps.

Blackout cut in. "Why we trust you with the explosives, Barricade."

"Thought you were hoping I'd blow myself up," Barricade said dryly.

"That too."

"The love here overwhelms me." Barricade frowned. "Hate these things." He jerked on a lower attachment of the booster pack.

"Think you hate them?" Blackout groused. "Rotors pinned back so tight it's blurring my damn optics. Don't get me started on the heat." Blackout notoriously hated space combat—his rotors could get no lift, and like Barricade and Dead End, had to don an awkward external thruster system. Starscream had thrust in any atmosphere, of course. Bastard could probably get lift in a black hole.

"Done chatting, ladies?" Starscream cut in sourly across the comms. "If you don't mind, we do have a tactical situation that might prove diverting."

"…divert you;" Blackout muttered, cutting his external comm. "Get ready. Taking you in now." The interior chamber filled with the roar of Blackout's added thrusters. The door peeled open. Barricade grabbed the explosive case, slinging the detonators over his shoulder, and jumped out. His light boosters carried him toward the steel-white sides of the human spacecraft. Behind him, Blackout swung around, his guns blazing in suppressive fire. Two of the Autobots came up from Blackout's six. Blackout's move fouled Dead End's exit—the small red bot tumbled, the carry harness falling out of its tidy configuration. Great, Barricade thought: Dead End's in his usual form.

He slung his explosive case against the side of the shuttle, hearing its magnets clang on. With one last look behind him, he got to work. Simple job: Blow the cargo hold free of the rest of the ship. Get the Neptunium; bring it back to the Nemesis. Secondary orders, according to Soundwave (muttered in Barricade's private comm.) were to blow the Neptunium. Deny the asset to the enemy if nothing else works.

Dead End squealed, recoiling back from the ship, his boosters sending him spinning wildly. Barricade cursed and shot off after him. He grabbed the smaller bot roughly by the ankle and thrust him back toward the cargo hold. "Squishy!" Dead End said. "In the ship!"

"Squeamish?" Barricade taunted. "Do your damn job."

"Haste would be appreciated," Starscream cut in. He was really overusing the all-comms channel. Apparently thought his every utterance was worth wide broadcast. "The actual fighters here are outnumbered. And they have called for reinforcements."

"On it," Barricade said, with one last glare at Dead End, and turned back to the shuttle.

****

Nadya noticed a little bit of commotion flash in front of the cockpit. "Whoa!" She gasped; Stokes glanced up, "What is it?" Without warning the shuttle was rocked violently, alarms sounded from the control panel. Smoke hissed above their heads.

"Fire! We got fire!" Stokes unbuckled himself and grabbed the nearest extinguisher. Another violent motion knocked the defenseless shuttle, sending it careering off course.

"I can't hold position! Navigation is shot!"

"Take us back, reverse course it's programmed into the autopilot!" Stokes yelled as he was thrown into the nearest bulkhead. Nadya struggled with the violently bucking ship. She could see the Autobots frantically yelling to each other outside. They were firing at someone. She saw Bumblebee take a hit and go spinning across her vision, barely missing the cockpit.

"We're being attacked!"

"What?!" Stokes managed to crawl back into his seat and buckle in.

He stared incredulously outside the window, Prowl was firing rapidly after managing to grab a hold of Bumblebee to stabilize him. Ironhide's canons could be heard over the din of the alarms.

"Send out the distress beacon. Let's hope they don't blow it up."

Nadya punched a red button in response. With expert dexterity she managed to punch in the ship's Autopilot and the ship bucked to the right sharply in response.

****

Blackout dodged another of Ironhide's cannon bursts. He let loose with one of his own missiles. Went wide, of course, as the recoil wobbled against his forward thrust. With these damn thrusters, he couldn't shake his vehicle mode.

Next to him, Starscream spun agilely, swiping at Bumblebee as he zipped past. Ironhide rippled a salvo of shots after him, almost hitting his fellow Autobot. Even the Decepticons could hear Bumblebee's squeal of outrage.

Where was the third? There were three. Blackout swung his thrusters, dropping below the shuttle. Unlikely the Autobots would assign a coward to escort duty. The third Autobot was around here somewhere. Where?

There. Crawling up the dark side of the ship, trying to flank Barricade. Barricade was engrossed in the delicate work of laying the detonating cord in the explosive gel, measuring the timing fuses against a calibration on his wrist. A light flow of the thrusters pressed him against the ship. Behind Barricade, Dead End scrambled with lengths of the carry harness; oblivious to everything except the mess he was unsnarling. Needing, of course, an actual warrior to save their baseplates.

Blackout roared his thrusters, swooping to snatch the Autobot off the ship. Before he could reach him, the Autobot made his move, firing at Barricade. The Decepticon leapt back, on pure instinct, the thrusters turning his leap into a spinning loop in the null g. Barricade flailed, detonators flying. Prowl launched himself bodily at Barricade. He pounded on Barricade's head and face, the Decepticon unable to block his blows—his arms pinned against his torso. Prowl growled in Barricade's audio's as he forcibly tried to remove him from the ship; his voice was eerily calm and controlled. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to disembark."

Beyond them, Starscream and Ironhide had engaged. The smaller Autobot had somehow managed to get in close with Starscream, bodily forcing his right arm upwards, out of the way. Starscream pounded him in the head with his free hand, knocking him off, closer to the body of the ship. As Ironhide stabilized his spin, he spotted Blackout, rising up over the shuttle, aiming his reticle at Prowl, waiting for the two bots to stabilize until he got a clear shot.

Ironhide fired, as Starscream laid into him from the side with his chain gun. The pulse cannon's blast zipped harmlessly past the two struggling bots, and straight into the explosives case.

Blackout had time for one thought, and that, obscene, before the black of space went white, roaring into silence.


	2. Chapter 2

(AN: Optimus Bob is British, so if you notice some…inconsistencies in the spelling, that's probably it! We write this by alternating and swapping. One of us will write a skeleton of a scene, then we'll email it to the other, and the other will expand relevant bits, then swap again. Oh, and it gets **weirder**! We have a lot of fun with these characters!)

The ship careened violently, the explosion sending the fragile shuttle into terrifying spin; alarms and smoke filled the cockpit as the two occupants tried desperately to control the inferno that now raged inside the metal hull. White clouds of oxygen vented into space, forcing the ship into an unstable tumble as it was caught in Triton's gravity field. In one last desperate attempt the shuttle pilot managed to swerve the shuttle violently, forcing it into autopilot as it straightened and plummeted towards the surface. The gaping wound bleeding precious oxygen into space. The Autobots realizing what she was doing raced after the damaged ship letting out cover fire as they raced back to the moon's dark surface.

Ironhide evaded Starscream, who snarled in frustration and chased after him, grapping hold of the smaller mech they tumbled towards the shuttle, casting off an orange glow from its nose as it hit atmosphere.

Bumblebee tackled Blackout, wrenching at the copter's bound-back rotors. He found himself losing the upper hand against the bigger, stronger Decepticon although he prevented him from reaching Prowl and Barricade who were wrestling near the ship.

Barricade's armour was blackened and scorched from the initial explosion, his booster pack had fused to his back plates and he was struggling to see clearly through the pain. He had inadvertently shielded Prowl from the blast and was now at a severe disadvantage; with a roar of agony and anger he clambered onto Prowl's frame and managed to get a couple of punches to the black and white mech's head.

"Having a really bad day!" He snarled angrily, in time with his punches. "This almost makes it worthwhile."

Prowl shoved him hard into the side of the ship, causing Barricade to cry out in pain as he landed on his scorched, twisted back plates. "I'm about to make it worse!" Prowl answered, drawing his weapon and raising it at Barricade's face. Without warning the struggling mass of seeker and weapons master slammed into Prowl, sending him flying into Barricade causing him to howl as the booster pack was forced into his back even further, at the force of the blow.

Struggling, Starscream managed to get clear of Ironhide who was closer to the nose of the cone, almost obscured by the leaking oxygen. Raising his weapons he sneered in satisfaction.

"NO!" All three mechs cried out at once as Starscream opened rapid fire at Ironhide; the oxygen cloud ignited and engulfed them and the ship, Starscream screamed in surprise and pain as they hurtled towards the moon.

****

Stokes dragged a limp Nadya from the cockpit, forcing her into one of the emergency space suits, the breach was venting fast. He struggled to get into his suit as the shuttle jerked against the thin atmosphere of Triton, clicking his helmet shut his eyes were greeted by a white hot glow of a secondary explosion. Shutting his visor he caught a last glimpse of the moon racing toward them, and then everything went black.

*****

Starscream hit the surface of the moon with a force hard enough to bounce. The oxygen had exploded on him, blinding his optics and blowing out the barrels of one of his chain guns. He was shrieking in pain, his limbs flailing wildly, casting clouds of dust and small stones into the thin atmosphere. They spread slowly in the low gravity, obscuring vision.

Sheer luck had Barricade turned so that Prowl broke his fall. Sheer luck and the fact that the first explosion had locked his booster pack into forward thrust. He heard a satisfying crack through his external audio before the top of his head jammed into Prowl's faceplate.

Bumblebee's attack on Blackout had torn the rotor-ties free. For which the Decepticon was grateful—as he hit atmosphere, he flared his rotors for lift, landing lightly on the surface, tearing off the thrusters with thinly disguised hatred. Starscream's shrieking filled his audio. He tried subvoc to Barricade. Nothing. He'd seen the little yellow Autobot pest (redundancy) fall far to the delimiter side, spinning into shadow. Be a while before he even caught up enough to matter. And on solid ground, it would be a different story. First step—try to find Barricade. Starscream was easy enough to spot—somewhere in the middle of that rising cloud of grey-red dust. Just follow the noise.

Unfortunately, Ironhide found him first.

"You again." Blackout said, as Ironhide's first shot went wide. The low-g or possibly the fall had damaged Ironhide's targeting system. He heard the Autobot curse. "Distance combat's for cowards," Blackout said, blandly, grabbing his tail rotor. He liked it better close in. No one could beat him in close quarters.

Ironhide took the bait, rising up from the berm he'd concealed himself behind and running straight at Blackout. "I won't give you the chance to go the distance then!"

Blackout deflected the smaller bot's punch with a backswing of his off-arm, and then brought his spinning tail rotor down, slicing through the Autobot's pulse cannon. Sparks flew from metal. The Autobot flipped in the low-g, nailing Blackout squarely in the head with his sturdy, reinforced heel. Blackout fell to one side, his tail rotor spinning wide, slicing into his own armor, then careening off the ground to plant itself squarely in Ironhide's leg. He howled in pain as he felt his knee joint crack, the rotor blade jammed itself through the tough wiring impaling him to the ground.

Barricade thrust his weight off of Prowl, digging his hands hard into the Autobot's throat as he did, trying to use the jammed-on thruster to right himself. His optics blurred. No, that wasn't it—a cloud of dust enveloped them. He tried comm. Starscream ran a litany of curses through his voc. Barricade pushed through the cloud, stinging as small pebbles hit his optics. "Starscream," he called. A limb loomed out of the cloud, over his head, a giant claw slashing wildly. It knocked Barricade to his knees, scraping along his side. Shearing – thankfully – the thruster-pack off his back. "Starscream, dammit, it's me. Stop swinging." He staggered into the cloud, tripping over the jet's torso. Starscream grabbed at him.

"I cannot see!" the jet's voice sparked with panic. "Barricade: My optics. Are they damaged?" He jerked the smaller bot close to his face. "Tell me!"

"I will if you shut up and let me look," Barricade said, twisting to free his arms from Starscream's grasp. He sucked in a breath looking at the jet's face. Black scorch marks covered him from shoulder to crown. The near eye was spider webbed with cracks. Gone. The right optic glowed only dimly. Marginally functional. "They'll need to be replaced. And your right gun's gone."

"Again?!" The jet dropped Barricade to investigate the damage with his hands.

"Don't worry," Barricade said. "We'll get you back to repair bay. It's all fixable."

"Easy for you to say," snarled the jet. "Uninjured."

"Really? You mean beyond the whack you just gave me? I still have thruster pack assembly force-welded to me."

"Do you?" The jet's hands leapt to investigate.

"Stop touching me," Barricade muttered. "It's weird."

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something intimate?" Prowl appeared through the cloud, his weapons leveled on the pair.

"Where is he?" Starscream hissed, trying to aim his good arm by sound alone. He almost knocked Barricade down.

The dust cloud caught up in a whirl. "Actually I think I'm interrupting," Blackout dropped down, pointing his weapon at Prowl. "Thought I'd find you doing your usual nothing, Starscream."

"Shut up," Barricade said, hitting subvoc. "He's blind."

"Not deaf," Starscream cut in, acidly. "And bad news. We have clustered together like a nice easy target. And reinforcements have arrived."

****

Prime shot off after Bumblebee, who was plummeting towards the moon at an uncontrollable rate. Ratchet and Sideswipe manned the Ark. Their weapons trained on the armed Decepticons in front of them. They sat in stalemate, unable to do anything other than watch the small human shuttle burn through the thin atmosphere of the dark moon.

"Can't we just blast em?" Rumble sneered on Soundwave's comm.

"We are out numbered and out gunned Rumble. Have patience."

"Easy for you to have patience, all the way up there," Dead End whined. "They've got a whole ship. We've got….you."

"And we also have…you." Soundwave said, acidly.

"That's his way of saying 'less talkie, more fightie'," Rumble added.

Sideswipe shifted uneasily on the bridge of the ark, glaring out of the viewer. "Ratchet, the Ark's weapons would disintegrate them: we should fire while we have the chance."

"Those aren't our orders, Sides, stand down," Ratchet replied calmly. He spotted Prime returning in the distance trailing a rather shook up young bot behind him. Soundwave and Rumble backed away slowly in the distraction, not bringing attention to themselves as they drifted subtly towards the moon.

"Ratchet, we have injured on the surface. You will join myself and Bumblebee, Sideswipe, guard the ship, maintain a high orbit. We may need you." Prime's deep tone filled the bridge.

"Understood." Sideswipe grumbled as Ratchet exited the ship. "Hey where'd the 'cons go?!" He yelled. Prime spotted them already entering the moon's atmosphere. He cursed softly.

"Autobots, we have to move fast, before the shuttle touches down on the surface. Let's move!"

****

Weapons fire rained on them from above, Prowl ducked and rolled out to avoid being blown apart by a volley of plasma blasts that burst onto the rocky ground. Starscream shrieked loudly, in panic.

"Who's firing?!" He whirled around frantically; Barricade tried to restrain him and failed abysmally as the jet crashed into a crouched Prowl. Blackout couldn't help but snigger at the sight of Starscream flailing. Barricade growled and hauled the jet from the stunned Autobot.

"Could help." Barricade glared at Blackout who continued to snigger.

"Why? This is the most fun I've had all day."

"This your idea of fun?" Barricade glowered at him, as Starscream tried to tear his arm free, almost sending the smaller bot sailing off in the low-g.

Starscream cut in: "I can still hear you, Blackout."

"Yeah, you can still talk unfortunately too." Blackout grumbled as he caught Starscream's other arm. Dead End burst through the thinning cloud, his weapon pointed at Prowl who was still sprawled on the floor.

"Look who decided to show up," Blackout said, acidly.

"Who?" Starscream swung his face around. "Who is it? What's going on?"

"Dead End," Barricade explained. "Covering Prowl."

"You mean that he actually knows how to use a weapon? And I can't see it?!"

A cannon blast shot out of no where, striking Dead End's shoulder knocking his aim, allowing Prowl to scramble out of range. The gun flew wide.

"Guess no on that last one, Starscream," Blackout said.

Prowl was greeted by an injured Ironhide. One of his cannons was virtually shredded and his right leg was dragging behind him, leaking vital oil and coolant. His optics widened in surprise, "You've looked better."

"Save it, Prowl. We have 'cons to deal with."

"Ironhide, you can't fight like this, you're badly damaged, and your leg is leaking energon at an alarming rate."

Ironhide turned on Prowl fiercely, "Try and stop me." He limped to the group of Decepticons his remaining weapon raised as another volley of weapons fire burst through the atmosphere, followed by Prime, Bumblebee and Ratchet.

Bumblebee slammed into Blackout, he was small and quick and swiftly irritated the larger mech. He managed to get a hold of Bee's leg and slammed him into the ground. "Hoping you'd run into me again," Blackout said, his fingers denting the yellow bot's armor. The younger mech let out a squeal of pain as Blackout lifted him once more and launched him into the approaching Prime, who grunted in surprise as Bumblebee landed awkwardly at his feet. Growling, the small yellow 'bot charged his weapons and shot after Blackout once more.

"Oh good. Dumb, too," Blackout snatched his tail rotor, crouching into a ready stance.

Ratchet managed to duck out of the way and found himself face to face with Barricade. Not a natural fighter, Ratchet hesitated for a split second; Barricade took his chance, his fist made solid contact with Ratchet's helm sending him stumbling off balance, Barricade launched himself at the medic only to find himself colliding with a much larger, stronger force. Ironhide slammed into him, sending them crashing to the ground, skidding some way in the dust they collided with the legs of Starscream who yelped in surprise. "Stop!" the jet shouted. "Get away from me! I have you on targeting!" His targeting subroutines sent him target-lock information. He had no way to see what it locked on. Barricade scrambled back. "It's Ironhide. Get him!"

Prime launched himself at the jet, just in time to send the jet's missile firing wide. He landed heavily on the jet, who flailed on the ground, kicking his long legs into Prime's body. "Get off! Get off me!"

He clawed at Prime's arm, finding purchase he dropped his weight sharply, flipping Prime over his head, he grunted as he landed heavily on the rocks. Dead End wasted no time, raising his weapon he fired into Prime's torso at almost point blank range. "Got him!" he yelled excitedly. Prime cried out in pain as the plasma burned through his circuits, barely missing his spark chamber, exiting through his back shattering some of his back plates. Lifting his weapon to fire at the fallen leader's head the small red bot took aim for another shot.


	3. Chapter 3

Stokes clawed his way to the cockpit of the violently shaking shuttle. Breach alarms filled the cabin. Smoke and fire was clouding his vision. He cast a swift look out of the cockpit window, bracing himself on the seat as the nose dive they were caught in, jerked viciously in the turbulent oxygen ignited atmosphere. He punched the damaged controls, the course was locked on. He stared in horror at the fast approaching surface; his eyes could make out figures fighting. Weapons fire, the robots became clearer as they accelerated ever closer. He quickly shuffled over to the science console and scanned the surface. It was mostly solid rock, laced with the odd network of caverns, carved over the eons by glaciers of ice. If they crashed into this they would crumple like a used tin can and take everything in the vicinity with them. The scanner bleeped it had found a thin layer of rock. His heart jumped into his mouth, 'The mine!' His head screamed at him.

He readied the small plasma cutter on the shuttle and aimed for the ground approaching rapidly in front of him. He could see the Autobots battling where he was taking aim, he bit his lip. Taking a deep breath he pressed the ignition of their measly weapon. Not really a proper weapon—a small plasma cutter designed to help clear the mine of rubble. Still, it was all he had. He had to do something.

The plasma bursts shot out from beneath the cockpit, he watched with growing dread as it blasted into the rock below him, impacting in a blinding blue flash. He could hear the Autobots and Decepticons now, their yells and curses of surprise as they were caught in the blast. Screams pierced Stokes's senses as rock gave way beneath them.

Stokes closed his eyes and braced himself, the shuttle smashed into the rocky surface at full speed. Thanks to the plasma blasts the rock had weakened. The shuttle punched straight through, the sound of ripping, grinding metal filled Stokes's ears, drowning out the cries from his allies and their enemies.

Some of the mechs didn't stand a chance, the ground erupted beneath them and they found themselves caught in an avalanche of rock and metal. Others barely escaped with their sparks intact, clawing to the remaining surface, as debris rained down upon them, the sound was thunderous as the surface cracked and exploded.

After a few minutes the air cleared and the dust settled. There was nothing to be seen of the shuttle, or of the robots for that matter. Grey, black dust and rock littered the area; the landscape had been completely rearranged. A metallic hand was visible beneath a pile of rubble close to a large crater that now scarred the ground. Nothing moved.

****

Inside:

"Anyone else functional?" Barricade broadcast over comm. He did a quick inventory. Still had the force weld on his dorsal plating, but beyond a few new dents, he was okay. He sat up. Cursed. No major injuries, but that didn't mean he didn't hurt.

"I'm here." Dead End. Great. Couldn't get him crushed. Just Barricade's luck to be trapped down here, perhaps forever, with the little freak.

"Have your weapon?"

Long pause, with the sound of scrambling. "No. Lost it."

"Fantastic." Rather have the damn gun than Dead End.

"Blind in the dark," the smaller bot snapped.

"Ha!" Starscream cut in. "Now you all feel what it's like to be blind."

"Until we do this," Barricade flashed on his headlamps. They were in some kind of underground cavern, large, pitted. A mine? A natural formation? Hard to tell. They'd brought so much ground surface and rubble with them. A few limbs stuck out of the rubble, and the bland silver fuselage of the human ship. Was that what had sent them down here?

"I hate you," the jet muttered.

"Save it," Barricade said. One of the buried limbs started to twitch. The rubble over it shifted to one side. "Not alone."

"Autobots? There are Autobots here?" The jet's hands clutched into claws.

"Damn straight," Ironhide sat up, aiming his pulse cannon at the jet. "Watching you squirm is almost as enjoyable as it was pounding your face in. Now hold still like a good 'con while I finish the job."

"Not so smart," Barricade said. "Could kill him—could kill all of us—then you'd be stuck down here forever. All by yourself."

"My friends would find me. We don't abandon our comrades, unlike you filthy Decepticons."

"Find you…how?"

He pushed to his feet, gingerly, watching Ironhide test his comm. Watched the worried expression cross his face with some gratification.

"How many others," Starscream stage-whispered. "How many Autobots with us?"

"Good question. Ironhide and…who else you got?"

The Autobot lowered his weapon, warily, not believing that Barricade wasn't going to shoot. Barricade had another priority right now than dead Autobot frames, and that was getting the hell out of here. The Autobot looked around. "Looks like Prowl. You," he waved his cannon at Dead End. "Dig him out."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Just do it," Starscream and Barricade snapped.

The red car knelt and began digging out the Autobot. Prowl's circuits came back online, he acted on instinct as the rubble was removed around him, reaching out and grabbing the small 'con in front of him by the throat causing him to squeal loudly. "Ironhide?" He climbed from the debris, casting his gaze warily around the cavern taking in the unique situation. Ironhide replied, "I'm here, better drop the runt. Looks like we're all stuck with each other for a while."

Dead End squeaked, "Aren't you going to do something? He's hurting me."

"I shall occupy myself lamenting that I cannot see him hurting you," Starscream snapped. Barricade rolled his eyes. Just a few minutes ago he was worried about being down here alone. Now the peace and silence seem like the better choices.

Barricade crossed over to the fuselage of the human ship. Maybe had a comm. system they could salvage. Maybe, though, he didn't need to. He hit his boosted comm., on subvoc. "Barricade, surface. Who the hell's up there?"

"Me," Blackout said, quietly, subvoc.

"Sitrep?"

"Not so good. Three Autobots. Compromised functionality."

Barricade swore. "Down here, three of us, some Autobots and," he peeled back a wall to where he saw two of the silvery space suits "two of the humans. May be useful to tell your new friends."

"On it." Blackout cut comm. His voice sounded a little thin. Weak. Unsettling. He must be in bad shape.

****

Surface:

Blackout hovered nearby to where Bumblebee and Ratchet were digging Prime out from under the rubble. Bumblebee kept glancing over at the injured 'con nervously. Blackout was in the mood, but not in any shape to attack at this point. His frame was leaking energon from numerous places, part of his main rotor had snapped and he had dust in places he didn't think were accessible without a wrench.

Prime groaned as Ratchet lifted him from the rock and debris. Sitting heavily Prime winced as he gingerly ran his fingers over the burnt hole scarring his midsection. Ratchet got to work immediately, managing to patch the wound with his small welding torch that he always carried with him, just in case. He stowed the flow of energon from Prime's frame.

"Doesn't look like you're damaged anywhere else. Bumblebee, are you injured?" Bumblebee shook his head and pointed over to Blackout who was keeping his distance.

Blackout caught the movement, glaring at Bumblebee. He'd rather stasis lock than let an Autobot touch him. Last thing he wanted or needed was damn Autobot help. "Barricade is below the surface: your other two members are alive, the humans too."

"How do you know their status?"

"Like I'd lie."

"You might," Ratchet said, neutrally. He also cast an unpleasant look at Bumblebee.

The copter shrugged. "See what you can find out, then. Don't need you: you don't need me. Fine." He debated turning his back on them in a show of contempt but his stabilizing gyros didn't feel up to the task. And who knew if the yellow bot could resist such an open target as Blackout's back?

He watched as one after another they got the vaguely absent-minded expression of a bot checking his comm. frequencies. He couldn't help but smirk.

Optimus said, finally, unwillingly, "How can Barricade get through?"

"Boosted comm. He's the only point of contact we have with them."

Bumblebee and Ratchet both looked at Prime, who stood gingerly. "Well, looks like we have to cooperate with each other then."

"You have to cooperate with me," Blackout said. "I have comm. Why should I cooperate with you?"

"Want help getting them out?" Ratchet snapped. Prime shot him a warning look, but nodded. "They are all in need of our help. The structural integrity of the mine has been compromised."

Blackout had no answer for that. He grunted, folding his arms over his chest. He'd cooperate, but not willingly. And Starscream and Barricade would owe him for this. Big. He winced as the gesture opened another gap in his interior joint fluid line.

"You're badly damaged; Ratchet can take a look at you."

Both Ratchet and Blackout glared at Prime. Ratchet opened their internal comm. _"Optimus, you want to help him? He's a 'con! He'd have left us to die." _Prime returned his glare.

"_Won't do us much good if he goes offline and he's the only contact we have with our friends, Ratchet. Please do your job." _

Ratchet huffed loudly at the command and headed towards Blackout who jerked away sharply.

"What are you doing? I don't need your help!"

Ratchet looked back at Prime with irritation.

"Blackout, you're leaking energon, you won't last long without treatment, let Ratc…"

"No!" In his frustration he charged his weapon. Its bore hovered halfway between the ground and Ratchet. An unmistakable, yet indirect threat.

Ratchet took a step back raising his hands in surrender. "I can't force him, Optimus."

Prime sighed. He thought the Decepticons believed in obedience. Blackout was almost as fractious as Ironhide. Who was trapped inside with three Decepticons. Prime's capacitor plummeted at the thought. "Fair enough. What's the status of the survivors, Blackout?"

"Three of ours, two of yours, plus two humans. All functioning."

"Can you contact them? We need to come up with a plan to get them out of there."

"I don't take orders from you, Prime." Blackout glowered darkly. Prime sighed a very human sigh. "Fine. Could you contact them…? Please?"

Blackout opened his comm. reluctantly to Barricade.


	4. Chapter 4

The two humans had now been helped from the broken shuttle by Prowl. Their space suits were undamaged, although the humans themselves were a little dazed and understandably unhappy at the three giant enemy robots close at hand.

"Need a plan of escape." Barricade drawled absently directing his gaze at Prowl, who appeared the most functional besides himself and the one least likely to shoot him in the head. Always negotiate with the bot who doesn't want to shoot you in the head.

Starscream spoke up in an attempt to assert control. "If we blow the roof of the cavern we are in, I can fly out." Ironhide rolled his optics. "Starscream, you're blind, you can't fly. Also neither can the rest of us."

Dead End muttered from the corner, his lights flashing. He'd more or less given himself up for dead.

"Not to mention the cave in that would result from that brilliant plan." Barricade added, not masking his irritation. Unable to move easily with the thruster force welded onto his back, he was in some amount of pain. During the weld, metal had melted into his interior cabling.

Starscream waved his arm in a wide gesture. "I do not hear you coming up with a better plan!"

"Um… if I may interrupt?" All the mechs looked towards the tiny human female. She continued unabashed by the attention. "This is the mine where we obtained the Neptunium. If I recall correctly there are a network of tunnels leading off from this cavern. Some lead to the surface. The Intrepid has 3d maps of what we scanned when we were down here. It's not much but if any of you can download it into your cortex, then we could use the information to find a way out."

"It's a good plan, Nadya." Prowl looked at Dead-end.

"Nadya?" Barricade echoed, looking at the astronaut. "You allow females in battle?"

She shot him a glare. "You allow police cars in space?" she retorted.

Prowl continued, deciding it was better to ignore this little fracas. He said to the red Decepticon, "You're the smallest, would you mind going in the shuttle and retrieving the data?" Dead-end looked towards Barricade who simply nodded in response.

"So polite," Starscream muttered, snidely.

Dead End snapped at him. "Treat me better than you do!" Barricade silenced him with a glare.

Ironhide was not pleased. "You're going to trust that useless piece of scrap metal with potentially our only way out of here?!"

"Trust us, Autobot, we are not thrilled with it either," Starscream said. He pawed the ground toward Dead End, probably trying to slap him. Barricade was contemplating the same. He was just so…slappable.

"Ironhide, please. Now is not the time for grievances; we need to work together if we are to survive."

"Why listen to the humans? It is their fault we are trapped here in the first place!" Starscream shrilled.

"Your fault you're blind," Ironhide said. Starscream whipped a claw toward the sound of his voice. Ironhide laughed as it whistled harmlessly past him.

"Best plan we've got." Barricade uttered non-committally. "Dead-end, get the information. And get it right this time?" The red 'con scrambled into the ship after Nadya. Prowl turned to face the dysfunctional group. Ironhide and Barricade had resorted to simply glaring at each other. Starscream was fidgeting nervously, tentatively trying to stand. He stumbled, slipping on some loose rubble. Prowl reached out and grabbed his arm. "You're going to need someone to guide you." The Decepticon tried to shake him off his wrist, but Prowl held firm. "We need to patch up our injuries as best we can before we attempt to traverse the tunnels. Ironhide, can you walk?"

"I'll manage."

"Barricade?"

"Not so good. Force weld on my back."

Stokes spoke up cheerfully. "We can help you with that; we have a welding torch and a crow bar in the shuttle."

Barricade didn't much care for the cheer in the astronaut's voice. He suspected that this welding torch and 'crow bar' was going to hurt.

"What is a crow bar?" Starscream asked curiously. "Why do you have one in a space shuttle? Do you keep crows in your spacecraft? Is this a human tradition?"

"Starscream, SO not the time for that."

He turned blind eyes toward Barricade. "I am merely trying to relate to our enem—our new companions."

Ironhide snorted. Prowl was confused. Stokes shrugged, "Never know when you're going to need a crow bar." Nadya came out of the shuttle clutching a small welding torch and a thin metal bar with curved forked ends, having heard the discussion. "Heard someone needs some D.I.Y?"

"Rather do it myself." Barricade tried to figure out how he could use those tiny tools.

Starscream and Ironhide both laughed, caught each other's laughter, and stopped. Hated doing anything together.

Stokes crossed behind Barricade, examining the damage. He also didn't succeed in keeping a chuckle out of his voice. "Gonna have to bend over."

"What? No. I'll find a way to manage."

Ironhide laughed again. "Come on, now, 'con. Bend right on over." He shot Ironhide a look of raw hatred. But he had no choice.

Barricade scowled. "Do they have to touch me?" He crouched down, but glanced behind him nervously. He couldn't see what they were doing. This, he did not like.

Ironhide chuckled darkly powering up his cannon. "I have a quicker way if you're xenophobic." Barricade shot him a dirty look. Prowl interrupted before Ironhide could wind him up any further.

"If you want to get out of here, you'll need it removing. We also need you. You're the only point of contact we have to the surface."

"Fine." Barricade grumbled, "But they better not try anything."

"Like what?" Prowl tilted his head. What was the 'con's problem?

"I don't know. Anything."

"I so wish that I could see this," Starscream lamented.

"It is good," Ironhide admitted, sitting down to get a better look.

"Barricade?" Blackout's voice cut in, such a welcome distraction that Barricade would have kissed him if he could. With tongue. Blackout's voice was no longer subvoc. Only two reasons: Either Blackout was that certain he was alone, or he was being forced. "Status?"

Barricade hesitated. "Testing comm." He heard his own voice—also not subvoc on Blackout's end. If there were Autobots nearby, they could hear the entire exchange. He'd have to be careful. "Comm test complete. Blackout?"

"Status of your party?"

"All functional."

A muffled conversation. "More precise. They want."

Yeah, Barricade thought, figured that part out. "Prowl appears uninjured. Ironhide has an injury to the leg and at least one of his cannons is out. The two humans are uninjured. And we'd have nothing to do with it if they were injured," he added, pointedly, for Blackout's eavesdroppers. "Dead End is, fantastically, entirely uninjured."

"And?"

Barricade heard his sigh carry over the comm. "Starscream is blind. His other injuries appear minor, except his chain gun. I am…currently compromised in functionality," He yelped as the astronaut's torch bit into his side.

"Compromised?"

Barricade prayed that everyone down here would die, except perhaps Starscream, so no visual memory of this humiliation would exist. "Working on it. Status?"

"Prime, Ratchet and the yellow one."

"Yes?"

He could feel rebellion building in Blackout's voice. "Prime's fragged up, but the medic's been working on him. The yellow idiot is apparently their team's Dead End."

Barricade couldn't help a chuckle—that morphed into another yelp. He suspected these astronauts were not trying very hard to be careful. Or they did not realize the sensitive bits they were prying against. "Don't like him much, do you?"

"No, really; it's a fraggin' festival of friendship up here."

"And you?"

"Less you know the better."

The laughter died in Barricade's vocalizer. "They have a medic."

"Know that." A little testy.

"You could—"

Blackout cut him off. "Be in touch." He cut the comm. line. Barricade swore, subvoc, then aloud as the astronauts pried again at the welded panel. The metal finally gave with a shriek. Barricade got a grip on the metal they were lifting, wincing as he pried it off.

"Thank Primus," he said, straightening up. His plating was sore under the weld and would need some care, but for right now all that mattered was that the melted back plate wasn't stabbing into his central line with every step.

"You could thank us," Nadya said, pointedly.

He glowered down at her. "I could."

"Um… we have another problem however." Stokes spoke up again, his voice more serious. He handed the torch back to Nadya. He looked up at Prowl. "Our suits only have 8 hours' worth of oxygen left."

*****

Surface:

"Happy now?" Blackout switched off his comm. "Told you: your bots are fine."

"Still trapped, though," Ratchet grumped. "And if Barricade was telling the truth."

Blackout turned to glare at the medic, but his servos overcompensated. He staggered, catching himself hard on an outcrop of rock.

Optimus approached, slowly. "Even Barricade wants you to have Ratchet look at you."

"Barricade's an idiot!" Blackout snapped. "But he wouldn't lie." He pushed himself back upright. "Just not used to this damn low-g. That's all." Prime and Ratchet shot each other a worried look over the Decepticon's shoulder. 'EMP' the medic mouthed. Prime shook his head. Not yet. They needed Blackout functional right now.

"So," the Decepticon snarled, "Any of you geniuses got a slaggin' plan?"

Bumblebee spoke to Optimus and Ratchet, subvoc. He was gesturing to the crash site. Blackout frowned.

"He afraid of talking to me?"

"He can't speak; his vocal processor was destroyed by Megatron." Ratchet answered quietly.

"Hunh." This bothered Blackout more than he let on. For such a small 'bot to survive a direct attack from Megatron and only come out of it with a damaged vocal processor was pretty damn impressive. Blackout pushed that thought straight out of his mind, deciding immediately that the 'bot simply hadn't been worth Megatron's time off lining. Or Megatron had gotten distracted. The little yellow runt didn't look that tough.

"Is he saying anything useful?"

"It seems they crashed directly into the mine. There may be tunnels that lead off from the cavern under the surface; it could be a way out. He also thinks that they may not have crashed too far down and we could possibly dig them out." Optimus answered patiently. He walked slowly over to the crater of the crash site, still in an obvious amount of pain. Blackout knew the feeling; he tentatively followed the Autobots to the crater and glanced down, flaring his rotors for balance. His stabilizing compensators were…not compensating. He tried to blame the low-g, but couldn't. As soon as he could figure out which Autobot to blame for this, he'd make sure to return the favor.

"How far down?" Ratchet inquired.

"Bumblebee says possibly only a few feet."

"We'd probably hear Starscream's whining if it was only a few feet," Blackout said, dubiously. Ratchet shot him a look.

"You don't like him much, do you?"

"Like him fine. Just not blind to his obvious faults. Unlike you Autobots and your leaders," His eyes spiralled at Prime's back. Blackout huffed. "We could just blow out the roof of the cavern. We're in no shape to dig."

Optimus didn't have an answer: Blackout was right, the four of them, with two badly injured couldn't dig enough to free the others. Blackout, without waiting for a response, headed gingerly towards the crater, sliding down the dusty sides, cursing as the loose gravel caught his rotors. He paused just from the center of the crater and raised his weapon. A loud crack sounded beneath him, very slowly he looked at his feet. The unstable ground had cracked, he froze. His compensating servos fired wildly, involuntarily, half trying to guide him to a run, half trying to balance on the suddenly crumbling surface. Blackout felt zero g for a split second as the ground disappeared beneath him, he cried out in surprise.

The others could only watch as Blackout, along with rock and debris slid down to the precipice of the crater as it started to collapse in on itself under his weight. This was not just a few feet.


	5. Chapter 5

Prowl was the first to notice the dust spilling from the roof of the cavern. Dead End popped out of the fuselage of the Intrepid with a bouncy sense of self-importance. Barricade and Ironhide were too busy glaring at each other to notice anything. And the jet…he was useless. Glancing up, Prowl saw the rock face crack and start to crumble, directly above where Barricade and the humans were. Wasting no time, he tightened his grip on Starscream.

"We have to move now! The cave is going to collapse." The others all looked up simultaneously. Dead End was the first into the nearest tunnel, following his lights Prowl guided a reluctant Starscream. The difference in their heights meant the jet had to walk half-hunched over, his legs frantic to compensate for the shift in his center of gravity.

"I can walk myself, Autobot," he growled.

"You're blind, Starscream. You won't help much if you go straight into a wall. Or flat on your face."

"Be funny though." Ironhide shouted out behind them. He'd armed his cannon, as if he could blast the cave in into stopping.

Starscream tried to turn around as he spat out his retort. "Oh yes, we are all down here merely to provide for your amusement, Autobot." He turned too hard, dragging Prowl around with him.

Prowl held him fast, and practically had to drag him down the tunnel after Dead End. "Let it go."

Dead End went blank for a minute, his processor translating the human's computer code to something he could understand. "This way!" He trotted down a tunnel to the left, his headlights bouncing over the mine walls.

Nadya's voice echoed down the tunnel. "Prowl, wait!"

"What is it, Nadya?" Please, he thought, don't be difficult. The 'con is hard enough to deal with.

"The Neptunium, this whole thing will be for nothing if we don't at least salvage one of the specimens."

"It's too dangerous I can't let y…"

"I'll not be long, don't worry." She ran back towards the cavern, passing Stokes on her way. He stared at her openmouthed for a moment, then shrugged. That was so…Nadya.

"Nadya?!" He heard Prowl call out. Stokes tried to go after her only to be stopped by Ironhide.

"What are you doing?" The Autobot clearly didn't want an answer. He shooed the astronaut with his injured hand. "Rocks coming down in there bigger than you are."

"It's too dangerous." Turning to Barricade Ironhide scowled at what he was about to ask.

"Spit it out." Barricade drawled knowing full well what he wanted. He just wanted to make the damn Autobot ask for his help.

"Could you help her?"

"I could." He stated blandly, unmoving. The rock started crashing down in the cavern. Shaking the tunnel. Prowl's voice could be heard over the din. "We have to move, no choice. Now!" The others moved forward. Ironhide glared at Barricade who held his optics calmly.

"Slaggin' help!" He snarled angrily.

"Please!" Stokes pleaded from behind Ironhide. "She helped you!"

Barricade growled softly. Stupid humans, he thought. This is what you get letting females into combat. "Since the human asked so nicely," he said, to Stokes, ignoring the Autobot as he pushed by him. Ironhide ushered Stokes through the tunnel, as he headed back into the death trap of a cave.

Nadya had managed to grab one of the back packs and had thrown it over her back, filling it with as many samples as she could carry. Making her way out of the shuttle, which was ringing out with rocks smashing against its metal hull. She ducked as one landed just above her head, sending an avalanche of rock and rubble down upon her. She dived back into the shuttle. The hull of the shuttle buckled beneath the weight and started to close in around her. She cried out as the hull gave in. The electrical systems failed, plunging her into blackness. For the first time, she felt something a little like fear.

She heard the sound of wrenching metal, and then the flares of light picked out long silver talons tearing at the fuselage of the ship. "Prowl?" she said.

"Not…quite." Barricade grunted as rocks pounded down on his back. "Come on."

She hesitated.

"Wasting time we don't have, female," he snarled. Another rock cracked across his head, bending a fairing behind his neck. "Fine." He reached in and grabbed her. She managed to snatch the pack with one flailing hand. "Stop struggling." He held her against his torso, bent over so that she was protected from the worst of the rock fall. He could feel her leaking heat through her space suit, squirming against his armor. He wished she'd stop. It was…distracting. And she might hit something vital. He dashed unevenly toward the tunnel the others had taken, pausing and straightening up only when they were clear of the danger. His armor was coated with dust and grit.

Nadya shook herself free. "You did not have to do that."

"Not my first choice."

Nadya made a noise of disgust. Before cursing in her native Russian, a language Barricade hadn't come across. She turned and stalked ahead of him after the others. He followed slowly not wanting to get too close to the woman. Something about her disturbed him. She stopped suddenly almost causing him to stand on her. Ah yes, the damned unpredictability.

She glanced at him, her glare was icy. "Thank you. For saving my life." She spoke quickly before turning and rapidly tried to catch up to the others.

Barricade was nothing if not surprised.

****

Blackout was cursing his luck as he slid towards the sheer drop off into the crater. This is how it ends, he thought, bitterly. Not brave combat with the enemy. Not glorious victory. No: getting sucked into some slaggin' sinkhole. At least there were no witnesses. None who mattered, at any rate. He was going to be off-lined, he glanced down, knowing there was no way for him to escape. Still he tried to grab onto anything to stop his descent. His bad arm caught on something, jolting to him to a halt with a force that sent a hot wave of agony through the damaged limb. He looked up sharply. No something had caught his arm. His capacitor fell as he stared up at the yellow bot gripping onto his arm offering his other hand.

"Frag…" He swore as Bumblebee continued to reach down for his other arm. "Had to be you, huh?" The yellow Autobot waved his other arm conspicuously, gesturing for Blackout to grab hold.

"Fine, you wanna play hero. At least I'll get the satisfaction of taking you with me when you fail." He couldn't hold back the sound of pain as the smaller bot wrenched his injured arm, heaving him up. Other hands roughly grabbed him—someone grasping a double handful of rotor mount, causing the copter to howl in pain. Did no one know how much that hurt? He was hauled heavily to the stable surface of the crater. "Back more," he heard a voice say, the medic, he thought. "Whole rim might be unstable."

"Can do it if you'd let me get the slag UP!" Blackout twisted on the ground, trying to get his feet under him as the others continued to drag him forward, his torso-mounted gun cutting a long score in the ground. Oh, he was going to kill them for this. As soon as Barricade and Starscream were safe. Starting with the slagging silent wonder.

"Now?" Ratchet's voice was tired. "Doesn't have much fight in him."

"Yes." Prime's voice.

Blackout rolled to his side. The medic was looming over him, prepping some enormous and painful looking tools over his frame. He flailed, hitting at the medic bot without much power. Still enough to sprawl the medic and send his tools flying. Ratchet swore angrily, and threw the tool he still held, at Blackout's head, it impacted with scary precision. Blackout scrambled back, sliding against his rotors, until he hit something hard. He looked up. Prime looked down at him, his expression unreadable.

Before the Autobot could say anything, Blackout burst out, "Slaggin' great plan that was." He looked for the yellow bot. "You let that genius make all your tactical decisions?" He struggled to his feet, shaking off the hand that Prime lifted him with under his shoulder joint.

"That's why he endangered himself to rescue you," Prime said, mildly. "He was trying to make up for his miscalculation."

"_Just didn't calculate how heavy the 'con moron was'_ Bumblebee commed him. He didn't care for Prime apologizing for him. To this 'con in particular, if he was sorry at all it was for rescuing the ungrateful 'con. Prime shot him a warning look over the Decepticon's head.

"Now," Prime said, tightening his grip on Blackout's shoulder. "Can you at least explain why you don't want Ratchet to repair you?"

'_Because he's probably a she,'_ Bumblebee cut in. Ratchet gave a snort of laughter, which gave that game away to the copter.

"Stop subvocing about me," he snarled. "I haven't done that to you."

"Answer the question," Optimus said, but he tapped his head pointedly at Bumblebee. Be nice.

Blackout tried again to shrug Prime's hand off. "Don't need repairs."

"You're in pain," Ratchet said, still gathering his tools.

"So?" No point denying it. Probably look like an idiot. Probably already looked like an idiot. But he could still show them how a real warrior coped. Ratchet rolled his optics at Optimus. He had very little patience for mechs who were too stubborn or stupid, in this case both, to get themselves treated. 'Would help if Optimus let me do my fraggin' job and offline the damn 'con so I can fix him, at least to stop him leaking all over us.' He thought, his frustrations boiling over, as always he was a medic first, a soldier second.

"Don't know about you, but I've got better things to do than get stared at by you glitches." Blackout walked forward determinedly. Prime either had to let go or get dragged along.

"Any idea where we're going?" Prime asked, amused.

Blackout hadn't thought that far ahead. He stopped, wobbling on his damaged legs. "Fine. What's your next cunning plan?"


	6. Chapter 6

(A/N) A little Story Pimpin: If you like it so far, don't forget to check out our other stuff: Optimus Bob's coming to the exciting climax of Secret Within, featuring these self-same humans and Autobots. My own 'Break' is finishing Wednesday, with a definite TBC, if you like your stuff darker and full of 'cons.

Oh, and check out our very silly story HOST! (Pervy robot threesome!!!!)

Meanwhile, back to the good stuff:

Inside:

"Anyone care to refresh my memory cache as to exactly how I ended up having to carry the humans?" Barricade complained. The female kept squirming on his shoulder and the male kept poking at his armor with a screwdriver. Big fun surprise for him if he managed to dislodge the plate he was sitting on.

"It is simple," Starscream said, "I am blind, and, apparently, useless; Ironhide's gait is so uneven even I can hear it; no one trusts Dead End with anything although we have to; and Prowl considers it beneath his dignity as our leader to the dirty work. That leaves you."

"So glad I asked," Barricade said, as the others boiled over in protest. He forgot what a dangerous weapon the jet's mouth was.

"The humans will use less of their oxygen if they don't exert themselves," Prowl explained, though he glowered up at Starscream. 'The slaggin' jet can talk.' Prowl thought to himself in annoyance. He'd never seen a 'bot so anxious to avoid getting his hands dirty during the course of a battle. 'Most I ever see of him is his tail pipes.' He thought with disdain. "And I believe I am too preoccupied being a guide bot for blind 'con leaders to be of much use to the astronauts at this point, Starscream." He reminded the jet sternly.

"Your choice," Starscream muttered, but he tightened his grip on Prowl's shoulder, as if afraid he'd leave.

"Plus they were slowing us down," griped Ironhide.

The astronauts shot angry looks at the Autobot. Prowl turned under the jet's arm and gave the other bot a warning gesture.

"Good: as long as I'm not the only one not thrilled with this turn of events," Barricade said, mildly.

"I am less thrilled about our navigator," Ironhide said, trying to put some distance between himself and his last comment.

"At last," Starscream said, sarcastically. "Something we can all agree on. Lasting peace is just around the corner."

Stokes absently prodded a tool into Barricade's exposed neck wiring, the engineer in him fascinated by the complexity of his circuits. The 'con flinched. "Would you STOP tha--!" He stopped himself as they all piled to a stop, Starscream unable to check his momentum, fell to his knees. The jet took Prowl down with him. Prowl landed more heavily than Starscream, the jet was larger and heavier than he was and he'd put all of his weight onto his frame in the stumble, this sent Prowl into the floor. He grunted as his head impacted the rock floor, having not managed to get his other arm out in time. He lay there for a moment and sighed wearily. "Starscream, I would appreciate not being an arm rest if at all possible today." His voice was muffled by the rock in his face.

"Bad news," Dead End said, looking up at a wall of rock.

"Oh fan-fraggin-tastic," Barricade said.

"What? What is it? Why have we stopped?" Starscream clawed his way to his feet. He absently righted Prowl, probably in some gesture of apology, patting the smaller bot's head. Prowl twitched away.

Ironhide slapped his hand to his forehead. "Your little red friend can't read a slaggin' map."

"Can too!" Dead End said, hotly. "This isn't on the map!"

"Got something else that's not going to be on the map soon," Ironhide said, charging his pulse cannon.

Prowl turned sharply toward Ironhide, letting go of Starscream who wobbled, a little unbalanced by the sudden movement. He stalked over to Ironhide, who took a step back startled at the fierceness of his stare. "Ironhide, if you don't cool the aggression I am going to off line your cannon," he hissed, fiercely. "You are not helping an already difficult and tense situation and I would appreciate some slaggin' support if you can manage to climb down off of that chip that you've grown on your shoulder. Now I am in command here, it's not particularly a position I am relishing, but if you can't handle who you have to work with then stay here. At this point I will gladly leave you behind myself."

He glared at Ironhide, using the full force of his rank and taller stature, daring him to argue. Ironhide was stunned at the outburst, Prowl rarely ever lost his cool which was why he was second in command to Prime. Prowl turned sharply away from him before he could answer, making his way back to where Starscream was gingerly feeling for the wall of the tunnel for balance. He took the jet's arm with a reassuring pat.

Barricade snaked past Ironhide allowing himself a snigger within earshot of the stunned bot. The humans wisely remained silent. Ironhide shot a threatening glare at Barricade's back but held his tongue, his pride a little too dented to verbally spar against the astute 'con.

Barricade eyed the wall in front of them. Nadya was the first to speak up. "It looks like it's been caused by the cave in. Dead End, does the map say there's tunnel on the other side of this?"

The small 'con nodded, pathetically glad to be taken seriously. "It opens up into a small cave a few meters in."

"I say we blast it then." Stokes suggested, still far too cheerful for Barricade's liking. He felt the screwdriver prod his wiring again. In one swift move he snatched the screwdriver from the Astronaut's hand and drove it into the rock up to the handle.

"Hey!" Stokes whined in surprise.

"Lucky I didn't stick it in YOUR neck," Barricade growled.

"Someone's touchy." Nadya muttered. Barricade glowered impatiently. Nadya simply resorted to glaring at him coldly.

Ironhide spoke up quietly, making his way to stand beside Prowl. "I have one working cannon; it can blast through this wall no problem." Prowl glanced down at him. "Plasma is too volatile a blast. It could collapse the entire tunnel." Ironhide shifted uncomfortably at the dismissal. Prowl pinged his subvoc. _'Thank you Ironhide.' _Ironhide didn't respond, merely allowed himself a slight smile and a nod at the reprieve.

"I have the largest functional weapon. Missiles are direct fire, and will not ricochet around the cavern. It is more contained than a plasma blast. And more reliable." Starscream interjected confidently.

"Great, so we all get small holes blown out of us rather than big messy ones." Barricade grumped. "At least the slaggin' plasma would cauterize."

Starscream snapped, "I could just throw you at it."

"Have to catch me first."

The jet took a swipe toward the sound of Barricade's voice. The smaller bot jumped back, causing the two humans to cry out in protest.

"Need me," he said, warningly.

"For the moment," the jet retorted. "Remember, I know where you recharge."

"Flirting with me now, Starscream? Didn't know I was your type."

Stokes burst into laughter.

"We don't have time for this," remonstrated Prowl. "We have no choice. I can target for you Starscream. Everyone else move back a few meters."

"What? I don't need you to target for me, Autobot!" Starscream shrilled. Prowl rolled his optics at the objections.

"Look, Starscream you're just going to have to accept the fact you need help to get out of here. There's no shame in that." Prowl reached towards Starscream's weapon to help him target, Starscream jerked at the unexpected touch throwing his arm away sending him stumbling into the wall. He stood his stabilizers struggling with lack of a point of reference; he stumbled and fell to his knees. Prowl was once again by his side and heaved him to his feet.

"I do not need your assistance!" He pushed the Autobot away.

"Dumb idea, Autobot." Barricade tsked.

"His missile is the only thing that could work," Prowl responded, though he didn't much like having to go with the larger 'con's suggestion.

"Meant that telling him he needs your help is dumb. Not like you'd get out of here without us. We need each other's help. Stop trying to power-over. Especially with Starscream."

Prowl looked at the smaller bot, then up at Starscream, who was muttering commands to his targeting system, trying to locate the correct wall.

"I do not need you giving him pointers in how to manipulate me, Barricade," Starscream growled. "I am sufficiently irritated. And I can hit this wall without assistance."

Prowl gave up. He muttered stubbornly, "All right Starscream, take aim at the obstructing wall." Prowl folded his arms and waited. His stance looked very human. Starscream wobbled slightly as he raised his weapon. Pointing it straight ahead, he grinned. "See."

"Walk forward; see if you can feel it." Starscream's grin disappeared he ventured forward his arms outstretched grasping at air; he almost toppled over Dead End who was waiting further down the tunnel.

"Wha…?!" Starscream felt Prowl's hand pulling him round, turning him 180 degrees and guiding him forward. He cursed in Cybertronian. "Fine." He muttered. Prowl took hold of the weapon as Starscream braced himself against the tunnel wall. Prowl aimed carefully, he didn't want to blow too much out in case the roof of the tunnel collapsed. Steadying Starscream's arm he gripped slightly, the 'con tugged a little throwing his aim.

Barricade muttered to himself. "Stupid. Stupid Autobot."

"Why?" Nadya asked. "He's proving a point. Starscream needs his help. At least right now."

"It's a warrior thing. Humiliating Starscream? Not such a good idea."

Prowl tugged back. "You need to hold still."

"Me? I am steady. You are the one who is fidgeting."

Prowl took aim again, only to have Starscream slip on the wall, his arm knocking into Prowl's shoulder.

"Starscream!" Prowl looked over his shoulder at a new crease in his armor. That wouldn't buff out.

"You are taking too long!"

"Wall's not going anywhere," Ironhide observed, dryly.

"I would have made the shot by now if you'd hold still." Prowl retorted impatiently. "And Ironhide, not helping."

"We're not going anywhere either," Stokes observed. Barricade nodded. Without the screwdriver, the human was becoming considerably less annoying. Though he kept staring at Barricade's audio receptors in a way that was downright creepy.

"When you're dealing with Starscream," Barricade murmured to the humans, "it's easiest just to take the blame for everything. Stuff gets done a lot quicker."

"Oh, certainly," the jet sneered. "It is easy to blame the blind Decepticon to make up for your failings, Autobot. At least I know when to swallow my pride," he added smugly.

Prowl huffed at the irony and pushing slightly against Starscream's larger frame; bracing them both against the wall he took aim again. This time Starscream was tense, being this close to the 'bot was uncomfortable at the best of times but to be wedged between him and the wall was just mortifying. He was literally stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Practically a couple." Barricade mused absently at the scene in front of them. Ironhide huffed. "They sure argue like one."

Stokes piped up, "Did I just hear you two agree on something?" Ironhide tensed at the statement, Barricade remained very still, unwilling to validate the remark.

"You are as stupid as you are irritating, fleshling." Barricade growled with half hearted menace. He decided he no longer liked the male astronaut. Who was still staring at his audio. Creepy. He turned his attentions back towards the bickering mechs in front of him.

"Fire now." Prowl ordered. Willing it to be over quickly Starscream fired his weapon. The rock exploded outward, showering the two in debris. Starscream spun and ducked at the sensation of being pelted with rocks and dust, inadvertently crouching over Prowl, who was now trapped under the jet's large form, pressing him against the floor.

The dust settled, a small opening was visible and more tunnel on the other side. The others joined them. Barricade's optics widened in amusement at the position they found the two mechs. Much to his enjoyment it was the human woman who spoke first.

"I didn't know you two had gotten so close," she quipped teasingly as Barricade sauntered past them. Ironhide couldn't help but chuckle out loud, which was joined in by the others. Starscream was confused.

"What is so funny?" he demanded. The others just burst out laughing, annoying him even more. Then he felt a faint growl beneath him. Feeling tentatively towards the floor beneath his crouched body, his hands fell onto Prowl's back and head. The slightly smaller 'bot had been forced into a crouch beneath him as Starscream had curled away from the explosion and was now practically trapped in what looked like to the others, an embrace from the seeker. Starscream pushed himself away suddenly landing squarely on his aft. Prowl stood. Barricade could have sworn a look of embarrassment crossed the normally stoic, composed mech's face.

"Be glad he didn't get too handsy, Prowl. Lucky he can't see." Barricade stated with a wry grin. Starscream muttered under his breath as Prowl had to help him to his feet. The others were still caught up in their amusement when Prowl turned to face them.

"All right! I think we've had enough fun for now. Let's keep moving, you can all fall about laughing like sparklings when we reach the cave." He half dragged, half guided the still smoldering seeker through the opening and headed down the tunnel. Dead End bounced on ahead, gleeful that his map reading had been proved right.

"Touchy, isn't he?" Stokes stated mildly, his voice laced with amusement. Ironhide put on a serious face. "Prowl doesn't like public shows of affection." The others including Barricade sniggered at this, before an irritated voice interrupted their moment. "I could just get Starscream to blow the tunnel and leave you all there if you'd prefer."

"What, and leave you two alone?" Ironhide cracked.

Barricade ducked through the opening. "Didn't know you were on such close terms already." They burst out laughing again as the two mechs in front of them audibly swore with irritation.

"For the record," Starscream said, loudly, "I despise this Autobot."

"Someone doth protest too much," Nadya added, hesitantly. This was almost novel for her—to be in on this kind of group teasing. Barricade gave a soft chuckle.

Stokes whispered to Nadya across the back of Barricade's head. "I never thought this day would improve, turning out better than I expected." He smirked.

"Must have low expectations," Barricade muttered. "And don't get too comfortable."

"Ooohh, I don't think he likes you," Nadya teased.

"Don't like anybody down here. Far as I'm concerned, we can all offline. Long as I offline last."

"This one's just a killjoy isn't he?" Nadya returned Stokes's smirk.

"Can think of better ways to describe what I am using those words. Care to allow a demonstration?" Barricade retorted threateningly. He raised his hands to his shoulders, the fingers flexing steely and sharp. "Which one of you volunteers to be 'joy'?"

Stokes pulled a face at Nadya and winked. "Looks like you get the love, Nadya. I think he likes you." Nadya glared at him, he merely shrugged enjoying the discomfort. The robot shifted uncomfortably, almost a stumble.

Barricade growled as he felt Stokes chuckling on his shoulder. Primus help him, if he had his way the human would be dead before they saw light again. He mused at several possibilities for making it look like an accident to prevent backlash from the 'bots. As for the human female well he would show her, teach her to disrespect him.


	7. Chapter 7

(A/N) Okay, at this point I somehow made the command decision that ALL Decepticon comm chatter has to be weird and ridiculous. So if you like, there's plenty more to come: if not, prepare to be aggravated beyond mortal comprehension. I don't know why Bob lets me get away with it.

Surface:

"Comm ping is getting farther away," Blackout muttered. "While you sit here nattering at me."

"Where?" Optimus asked.

"Don't know. It's not a bloody targeting vector, it's a comm ping. Only does relative distance for time lag," he explained, impatiently.

"Find out where they are."

"Excuse me?"

Optimus sighed. "Please. Contact them. If you would. If it's not too much trouble." Behind Blackout, Bumblebee rolled his eyes for Optimus. Stupid Decepticon. Just do the job, already.

"Fine. But keep him away from me." He gestured menacingly at Ratchet. Ratchet raised his arms in surrender. Whatever it was, the 'con had a thing against him. Not that he really minded, but it did damage his professional pride. And those injuries had to hurt. "Barricade?" He over-pronounced, so that the Autobots could tell he being legitimate.

The voice came through clearly. Blackout could tell the other bot was on subvoc. Why? Oh well, the Intel bot knew what he was doing. Most of the time. And better safe than sorry. "On. What's your status?"

"Well, we're just finishing cocktails and the floor show is about to begin…." What did Barricade slaggin' think his status was? He was surrounded by three hostiles. Barricade should be glad he was even online. He caught the alarmed look on the Autobots' faces. "No," he said to them, "That's not some weird sinister code. Primus, you mechs take yourselves so damn seriously."

Concern crept into Barricade's voice. "Be careful, Blackout. The Autobots have not yet evolved our highly sophisticated sense of humor. Hate to see you offlined because they don't understand a joke."

"You know we can hear everything you say," Ratchet snapped.

"Proving my point. Greetings to all above-dwellers," he said mockingly. "And how are we this fine…whatever the hell time it is? Kind of hard to tell down here, being pitch-slaggin' black and all."

"Can it," Ratchet said. Optimus cut him off. "Barricade, we really need to know your status and location."

"No one's killed anyone else, yet. Though these humans are sorely tempting me to acts of xenocide."

"Told you they were annoying," Blackout said. "Should have seen the little tizzies they threw in Qatar."

"Barricade," Optimus said, warningly, "Do not harm the humans." Beside him, Bumblebee bobbed his head earnestly in agreement.

"Oh, you are no fun at all. But I can fantasize, can't I?" Blackout could hear the joking tone, but it seemed like the Autobots couldn't.

"How's the Whining One?" the copter asked. Ratchet mouthed 'who is the whining one?' at Prime. Bumblebee gestured wings with his arms. Oh. Starscream.

"About how you'd expect. Didn't help that the stupid Autobot tried to pull some sort of power/ego down on him."

Blackout winced. "And you said everyone's still alive, right?"

"Yeah. Not for lack of trying. If Whiney-jets wasn't blind, not sure we'd be so lucky." A pause. "Did I just say lucky?"

"And the loser?"

A groan. "He's…bouncy."

"Why aren't you debouncing him?"

"Ah, because I have been selected to be pack animal to two humans, aforementioned, annoying, and one pack of highly explosive Neptunium. My day is awesome."

"What about Ironhide." Optimus cut in. They'd mentioned Prowl already.

"He exists. Still. Scattering sunshine in his wake, as always."

Blackout snorted.

"Do you mechs do this all the time? Don't you ever have an actual businesslike conversation?" Ratchet was upset. How the hell did they run a war if their comm. was filled with ridiculous chatter like this?

"Blackout, did I hear that aright? Are we getting a comm-chatter lecture from the pacifist?"

"It has been a weird day," Blackout admitted.

"Your turn."

Optimus shifted impatiently.

"Real quick, because the 'bots are giving me the nasty optic: The yellow idiot's first plan nearly got me offlined. Think we caused a cave in."

"Should have known that was your enormous aft that caused all that."

"Yeah, it was even more fun on topside. I just hope they don't let him make any more plans. The medic keeps trying to sneak up on me with his freaky tools, and el Primo here keeps telling me what crap my plans are, without coming up with anything else. So. Here we STILL are." Oh, it felt good to get that out of his system.

Optimus stood merely staring at Blackout with complete disbelief at the conversation he was having. Ratchet pinged his sub voc. _'It's a wonder they ever managed to fight a war isn't it, never mind fraggin' start one.'_

'_Now Ratchet, I am sure that they don't always procrastinate this much.'_ If they did there was hope for the Autobots yet, despite being outnumbered two to one on Earth by Decepticons. He heard Ratchet huff out loud at his comment. His thoughts got cut off by Barricade's flippant reply to Blackout's rantings.

"One: you're still not repaired? Stop being such a shorted glitch. And two: what's your plan?"

"One: I'm not a glitch—have you seen these things he uses? Size of your damn head. Try to cut me open like a tuna can. No way. Two: trying to nav by your comm ping. If we can overlay those maps to your location maybe we can find, or blow, you an exit."

'_Does he even know what a medic is?' _Ratchet pinged Optimus again, bemusement belying his tone. Bumblebee butted in, _'Are you kidding he's a 'con! They think everyone is against them, including their own. He's so paranoid that he probably locks his recharge berth every night, just in case one of the others wants to get friendly.' _Ratchet smirked at this comment, Optimus managed to keep a straight face. _'Bumblebee, views like that don't help our situation.' _He rebuked him mildly. Bumblebee looked at him with mock defiance. _'Don't see you arguing the point.'_ Ratchet cuffed the yellow Autobot across the shoulder for his flippancy; he whined and rubbed it frowning at the medic who didn't even flinch from his glare. They continued to listen in on the conversation at a loss as to how to intervene.

"One: good to know it's just you being a chickenshit baby glitchling and not some idiot warrior code 'must tolerate pain' thing that's standing between you and repairs, and two: not a half-bad plan."

'_Hey the 'con actually came up with a plan! I may offline in shock.'_ Bumblebee was being deliberately cocky as he listened to the mechs chatter inanely to themselves. _'Bumblebee!' _Optimus shook his head gently. Bumblebee ducked his head, hiding his grin as Ratchet interrupted. '_At least Barricade is seeing his petulant attitude towards me for what it is.'_ He mused smugly. Optimus gestured towards them both, slightly frustrated and bemused at the situation. Ratchet shrugged. _'What someone had to tell the 'con the truth. Better it come from them, than us.'_

"One: smile when you say that, and two: great. Where the frag are you?"

"One: I always smile when I think of you in pain, and two: did you hear an explosion about fifty kliks ago? That was McScreamy blasting through a wall. With Prowl aiming."

"One: Stop flirting with me—you know how shy I am, and two: hope you got optical scans of that. I want a copy."

'_I heard that explosion; it's about 30 meters over that ridge behind us.' _Bumblebee gestured in the direction. He glanced at Ratchet questioningly. _'Are they actually flirting with each other?' _Ratchet shrugged now smirking at the 'bot's innocent, confused question. _'Who knows Bee? They are 'cons after all, the thrill of actual battle and war may just not be quite enough for them.' _He replied sarcastically. Optimus clearly amused himself, reprimanded them both_. 'You two are not helping.'_

'_Looks like they're getting all cozy without our help Optimus.'_ Ratchet grinned as Bumblebee sniggered, ducking behind his back to hide his amusement from the distracted Blackout. Optimus sighed and brought his hand up to his face. Shaking his head into his palm. He glanced up as Blackout finished the conversation.

'_Good thing we're not, if Blackout's reluctance to get repaired is anything to go by, he might start shrieking like a sparkling if we had to help them get all cozy as well.'_ It took all of Bumblebee's effort's not to burst out laughing as Optimus joked, his expression perfectly dead pan. Ratchet was all but trembling with barely controlled laughter. Blackout looked up at the Autobots. Bumblebee pointed, signaling he'd heard the explosion. "Got your vector," he said into the comm.

"Fantabulous. You get us out of here and I'll give you full audio and visual. Barricade out."

Blackout turned and found all three 'bots looking at him, Optimus was perfectly stoic as usual; the other two had weird expressions on their faces. Bumblebee was trying and failing to look far too serious.

"What, what the frag are you all staring at?"


	8. Chapter 8

Inside:

Ironhide limped some way in front of Barricade. Prowl was in no mood for talking after their little joke and neither was Starscream. He observed the forced distance they had put between each other. Prowl was walking ahead of the jet, with the jet's hand on his arm keeping him almost at arm length. This amused Ironhide. He'd been kind of surprised that the jet had covered Prowl, even if it was sheer instinct. Not quite as self-serving as he'd thought. He slowed slightly, noticing that Barricade had fallen behind. Idly he tried to engage him for no other reason than he hated tense silences.

"Looks like those two are as uptight as each other." He mused absently, Barricade merely grunted in response. Ironhide glanced at him, surprised he hadn't come back with some witty retort. Barricade's head was lowered; he was staring at the floor ahead of him, his optics not really focusing on anyone or anything. Ironhide frowned. "Barricade, are you even listening?"

Nadya chuckled. "I don't think he's ignoring you; he may have just been irritated into a partial shut down by Stokes's engineering questions." Ironhide glanced at Stokes, who had draped around the 'con's neck, his arms flopping at every stride the bot took.

"Uh, how irritated? Did he…?"

"No!" She laughed again. "He probably wanted to but he just ignored him instead and then went completely quiet; been like this for around five minutes. Maybe I should tell him that Stokes has fallen asleep."

"Why don't you?"

She shrugged. "It's too much fun to watch Barricade be all uncomfortable." Ironhide couldn't help but smirk at the woman's fearless audacity. Irritating a 'con wasn't a good idea, even a small one not known for his fight like Barricade.

The tunnel opened up into another cavern smaller this time. The rock had a smoothness to it, as if it had been carved by water. Glancing round the cave, Ironhide noticed the only other tunnel was a few meters above Starscream's head. Him being the tallest, at over 31 feet. That was pretty damn high. He looked around at the others as they milled around absently. Barricade still off with the fairies. He'd come to a stop, but was still looking blankly at the ground, smiling. These 'cons were crazy. This was proof.

"Prowl, looks like we have a problem." He pointed to the tunnel. Prowl followed his gaze; he watched his shoulders slump slightly as he realized the predicament. Not another obstacle.

"What. What is the problem?" Starscream had sat on a flat piece of rock, his optics scanning the cave uselessly. Dead End spoke up. "Map says the next tunnel is over 40 feet above us. We'll have to climb." He tilted back almost far enough to fall over, trying to see into the darkness above.

"I can't fraggin' climb, you dumb 'con." Ironhide swore impatiently.

"Oh yes, Autobot: Dead End has specifically arranged this for your inconvenience. He has that kind of ability," Starscream snarled.

"The humans would also have a hard time. We'll all have rusted by the time they make it up there," Ironhide added sullenly.

"Thanks for the faith, Ironhide." Nadya retorted. "It's heartwarming to know you care," she added sarcastically.

Prowl scanned the cave, scouting the area leaving Starscream perched on the rock. "There doesn't seem to be any other way up." He made his way back to the small group. Nadya was fidgeting on Barricade's shoulder, attempting to climb off his frame. She stretched one foot downwards, trying to reach the top of one of his arm's armor plates.

"Barricade, could you put me down please?"

Prowl glanced at Barricade who appeared dazed. "Barricade?" He asked. Ironhide grunted, "He's been like that minutes now." They all stared at him incredulously and at once yelled at him.

"BARRICADE!"

Prowl felt his patience wearing thin. Reaching out he gently tried to lift Nadya from Barricade's shoulder, a silver talon gripped his wrist suddenly actually making him jump a little. Barricade glared at him.

"What are you doing?" He growled suspiciously. Prowl glared back at him.

"Glad you could join us 'con." Ironhide grumbled. "Go somewhere nice?"

"Anywhere is better than being here with you, Autobot."

Ironhide growled threateningly, his cannon still charged. Prowl withdrew his arm. "What was wrong with you?"

"The list of what is wrong with Barricade is too long for the humans' oxygen supply," Starscream said. "But specifically, he was on subvoc to the surface. Even I could tell that much," he finished smugly.

"Usually one doesn't daydream when on subvoc." Prowl replied still staring at Barricade questioningly.

"You do not have our kind of conversations." The jet grinned. Barricade grinned back. "Blackout is still online, I take it?"

"Online and avoiding repairs. Again. Still. Lost track."

"You could have told us you were in contact," Prowl said, accusingly. He hated being left out of the loop. Was he in charge, or not? Bad enough Starscream didn't like his leadership—at least the jet was overt about it. Last thing he needed was this 'con to start his own passive-aggressive command bid.

"Couldn't speak out loud. No fun if you find out my plans to offline all of you when you weren't looking," he answered dryly, smirking slightly at the frowning tactician.

"Can I interrupt, boys? Barricade, let me down."

"Magic word?"

"Put her down, 'con, or the magic word will be 'pulse cannon'," Ironhide snapped.

"Fine." Barricade lifted the woman and placed her gently on the floor. Ironhide raised his brow at the Decepticon's movements he was almost as gentle with the humans as Prime was, either that or he really didn't like touching her. Ironhide decided to poke him about it later. If the 'con was afraid of humans….

Barricade righted himself, not noticing Stokes's still limp body draped around his neck like a silvery boa, and glanced around the cavern.

"See I missed nothing." He said with a feigned cheerfulness. All the other 'bots groaned with mild frustration. Ironhide sat heavily on the rock beside Starscream. His leg which was leaking energon badly was starting to bother him. He elevated it, gingerly. Starscream tentatively reached out assuming it was Prowl. "Get your claws off me, 'con. I'm not your guide."

Starscream snapped his hands back sharply. "I would not touch you even if you were."

Ironhide chuckled darkly. "Won't Prowl be just flattered that you're so picky." Starscream growled quietly, clicking the barbs on the backs of his hands, nervously.

Dead End squealed excitedly. "I didn't know they could do that!"

They all followed his erratic pointing. Nadya was already half way up the rock face having procured a rope and climbing axe from her back pack she was nimbly scaling the rock face with surprising ease, considering she was in a space suit. Granted not the traditional bulky space suit, more of a jump suit really but not ideal for climbing.

"Nadya, what are you doing?" Prowl inquired with obvious irritation and concern for her safety. She didn't turn to answer him, continuing her climb. "Finding a way out while you ladies bicker. Don't worry this slow, annoying human will come back and save you eezveeneetyeh ossli." She grinned to herself as she heard Ironhide mutter to Prowl. "What did she just call us?"

"Don't know, don't care," Barricade muttered. "Slaggin' human females. Serve her right when she falls." He crossed over to Starscream, taking one of the jet's hands. "Come on, princess."

"Where are we going?" The jet stood uneasily, testing the ground in front of him with his toes as Barricade pulled him forward.

"Going to show these idiots how it's done. 'Less you'd rather the female succeed?"

"I cannot fly, Barricade. As you have told me. Repeatedly."

"Don't have to fly. Just have to stand still. Can manage that, right?"

"I do not need your condescension, Barricade," the jet muttered. "I am blind. Not stupid."

"Okay, fine. Bitch about it later. Raise your arms."

"Raise my--? Why?" The jet obediently lifted his arms over his head.

"What do you feel?"

"Now you inquire after my feelings? I feel like an idiot."

"I meant feel with your hands." Ironhide snickered, surreptitiously pinching down on his leaking energon tube. Prowl observed quietly, his arms over his chest.

"There is a brief vertical, followed by a horizontal floor off to the right." He tapped the stone with one hand.

"Fine. Now, lock down for me."

"Lock down? Why?"

"Stop asking so many questions."

"I would if you stopped making ridiculous demands!" Nonetheless, the jet locked his joints into position.

"Primus," Ironhide observed. "Worse than the jet and you."

Prowl frowned, then smiled, faintly.

"I hate this already, Barricade," Starscream muttered.

"I hated this long before that." Barricade circled around the jet, looking at him evaluatively. "You're about to hate it a whole lot more." He reached up, and wrapped his hand around the long strut that marked the side of the jet's torso, heaving himself up so that his feet rested on the jet's heel-joint. His other hand was already reaching up for one of the ailerons. The jet shrieked in outrage. "Get off of me! I am not a ladder! You are not permitted to climb me! I am your superior!"

The jet's noise woke Stokes, who saw that he was tilting and about ten feet higher from the ground than earlier, he clutched at any handhold he could find on Barricade's shoulder.

"Stay locked," Barricade said, halfway between a threat and an entreaty. "Almost there." He crawled his way onto the jet's shoulders, his compensating gyros whirling to keep his balance. He reached over and grabbed a handhold of the jet's chain gun. One of the barrels snapped off in his hand. "Oops," he said, "Sorry about that."

"Not half as sorry as you are going to be, Barricade," the jet hissed. "That was painful."

"Oh, come on," Barricade said, repositioning his hands, "You warriors are into that kind of thing, right?"

"One day I will give you advanced instruction as to what I am 'in to'—oof!" Barricade's heel plate struck the side of the jet's face as the smaller bot pulled himself onto the ledge.

Barricade looked around. "Tunnel continues this way. Drilled. This on your map, Dead End?" he called down.

"Yep!" The red bot was already at Starscream's feet, readying himself.

The jet unlocked his joints and stood up. "A question, before we all proceed to humiliate the jet. When you have all climbed up…ME…to safety, how will I get out of here?"

Prowl came forward. "We can pull you up. Once we're all up there."

"That's going to be difficult if he doesn't want to touch us filthy Autobots." Ironhide grumbled sarcastically, wincing as he tried to put weight on his severely damaged leg. He was starting to feel weak from the energon leak, he was praying to Primus he didn't off line or stasis lock in front of the damn 'cons. He glanced up the rock face: impressively the human female was already three quarters of the way up, she latched herself to the rock and swung across to grab a ledge and hoist herself toward the ledge where Barricade was watching.

'_Come on, Starscream_,' Barricade subvoc'd to him. '_It's the only way_.'

'_I am not speaking to you,' _the jet said, petulant.

'_We'll get you up. Or I'll stay with you. Won't leave you alone.'_

The jet's voice trembled, even on subvoc. '_Promise?'_

'_Promise.' _

"Fine," the jet said. Dead End clambered up eagerly. Prowl followed more slowly, trying not to injure the jet.

"That is everyone," Starscream said. "Now, assist me."

"Forgetting Ironhide."

"I am endeavoring to."

Barricade and Prowl sighed. "Gonna have to lift him up."

"Oh, disgusting. You are fortunate you did not mention this part of our arrangement beforehand."

"Just do it," Prowl sighed, frustrated.

Barricade shot him an exasperated look. Damn Autobot. He'd told him how to handle the jet. Didn't listen. He bent over the lip. "Starscream, please. You're the only one who can do this. We need your help." The jet frowned, but bent down to reach to where he thought the Autobot was. "Just think how much Ironhide will hate it," Barricade teased.

"That," the jet retorted, "is extremely minimal compensation."

"Ok, so Prowl, when Prime asked how I was off lined you can tell him it was your brilliant plan to get me lifted up a cliff face by Starscream," he growled as Starscream's claws gripped his waist reluctantly.

"If you do not stop squirming I might not be able to resist the temptation of dropping you." Starscream muttered. He heaved the heavy Autobot up the cliff face, luckily for Starscream he could not see Ironhide's limp leg almost kick him in the face as he tried to scramble up the ledge. Barricade was the first to grab his arm.

"Could throw you back down," he teased. Ironhide managed to hoist himself up further and grab onto Barricade's shoulder, making the smaller mech brace himself and grunt under the strain.

"Could take you with me." Ironhide growled a smirk on his face. Prowl lifted his shoulders and hauled him over the ledge. Ironhide's leg scraped against the lip of rock; he cried out in pain as his energon line was snagged again leaving a trail of blue fluid on the dark rock.

"What? Did he fall?" Starscream inquired almost too eagerly.

"No such luck." Barricade smirked as Ironhide glared at him with tired loathing.

In the meantime the agile astronaut had expertly lifted herself over the ledge and had to avoid getting knocked back down by the flailing legs of Ironhide as they stumbled back into the tunnel. She had barely even broken a sweat.

Stokes grinned at Nadya. "See you took the hard way up. Me, I did the easy way." He gave an affectionate punch to Barricade's shoulder, as the bot bent over to reach down and help haul up Ironhide. The Decepticon glared at him. "Can take the easy way down, too, you know."

"He just doesn't want to admit he's impressed." Stokes' winked at Nadya who frowned at him slightly. Barricade growled softly. "Not that easily impressed, human."

Nadya sighed as Barricade scowled at her and quickly changed the subject, choosing instead to dig at the injured Ironhide. "So who's holding who up now, Ironhide?" She grinned at him her hands on her hips. Ironhide stared at her before glancing at Prowl. "Can we just throw her back down?" Prowl rolled his optics. "Ironhide," he warned.

"What? She can climb the frag back up. Let's see how well she does with a broken leg," he muttered more to himself than anyone. Barricade caught on to his mood.

"Unrest among the allies? I thought you bots never disagreed on anything."

"Yeah, well at least I'm not afraid of touching them," Ironhide retorted.

Barricade was taken aback. "As usual, Autobot. you're mistaken." His tone was lower, more threatening this time. He glared at Ironhide, who grinned seeing that he'd touched a nerve.

Prowl leaned over the side to the nervously waiting seeker. "We're ready for you, Starscream."

The jet placed both of his hands on the rim of the tunnel's floor. He heaved himself up, but the lip of the tunnel crumbled. He fell, hard. '_Barricade!'_ he subvoc'd, panicked. Everyone scrambled back from the ledge. Nadya dropped sharply off the edge in front of Stokes who wasn't fast enough to grab her. She gasped as all the air was knocked out of her lungs by the rope still fastened around her waist. It jolted against the axe jammed into the rock face, slamming her into the rock. She hung there for a moment staring at the ground, her heart pounding. She felt dizzy from the shock of almost falling to her death. She heard her name being called as a tug on the rope pulled her back to the ledge. Barricade lifted her gently and placed her in the tunnel besides Prowl, with a pointed look at Ironhide. See? Not afraid of touching them.

Prowl stood up from where he'd crouched, protecting Stokes. "That's not going to work."

"I say we just leave him," Ironhide muttered.

Barricade thrust the Autobot against the wall of the cave. "He could have left you. He comes." His eyes glinted dangerously.

Prowl parted them. Barricade backed off at Prowl's touch, controlling his irritation while Prowl faced Ironhide. He managed to restrain Ironhide's initial instinct to attack, but was too slight a mech to stop the angry, sturdier weapons-master from shoving him back. He almost teetered off the ledge, spinning only to land on Barricade who fell onto his back with a growl. Ironhide stumbled as the force of his retaliation forced him to put weight onto his injured leg, which collapsed underneath him bringing him to his knees. Prowl scrambled up quickly muttering an apology and helped Barricade to his feet.

"New plan," Barricade said, shoving Prowl away from him. He glared at the others. They didn't want to help? Fine. "You do have thrust, right?"

"You have told me that I cannot fly." Starscream's voice from the cave sounded thin.

"Come on. I've seen you. You can hover, can't you? Bet you can even do that blind?"

"I suppose."

"Hover and I'll get you."

The jet fired his turbines. The cave below lit up with the ignition, the sound roaring an echo through the tunnel. The astronauts covered their helmets' audio pickups. Slowly, the jet rose into view, his hands pawing the air, trying to find the cave. "Here," Barricade shouted. He reached out, balancing on a thrust of crumbled floor. A long agonizing moment as the jet revolved, slowly, hands probing out. Then, Barricade managed to slap the jet's wrist. "That's me!" he yelled.

The jet adjusted his thrusters and pushed slowly into the tunnel, crawling with his hands along the floor until he could no longer hear the echo of his turbines over the edge. Accelerating a little too hard he shot away from Barricade's grasp and landed with a crash of metal on top of Ironhide who yelped loudly once again in pain as Starscream's legs kicked his lower body. Summoning the last of his fading strength Ironhide shoved him off onto the tunnel floor. They both collapsed onto their backs, side by side groaning with the shock, Starscream was shaking. "I hate not seeing," he muttered.


	9. Chapter 9

Surface:

"Optimus to Sideswipe, can you read me?"

"Sideswipe here _static…_ read you, are you …_ unintelligible_… anyone hurt?"

"Sideswipe, we can barely read you, move to a closer orbit."

After a long moment: "Better?"

"Much. We're all right down here--couple of injuries, nothing too severe." Behind Optimus, Blackout snorted. "We have a situation: some of our mechs, including the humans, are trapped beneath the surface of the moon. I need you to use the ship's scanners to do a geophysical analysis of the tunnels that they're trapped in."

"On it. Prime, Soundwave hasn't budged since you left. He's just sitting there. How do you want me to proceed?" Optimus cast a glance at Blackout who shrugged. "Don't look at me," the copter said, "I expected him to run to Megatron as soon as he lost contact with us."

"Can't you contact him?"

"Barricade has the boosted comm. And in case you forgot, he's indisposed."

"Sideswipe, contact Soundwave. Let him know of the situation."

"Prime, what's going on?" Sideswipe sounded distinctly unhappy.

"We are cooperating with the Decepticons; we have no choice if we want to get everyone out alive. Contact Soundwave to see if he can help. Tell him to contact me if he doesn't believe you. I will be able to put Blackout on comm. Let me know when you have those maps. Prime out."

"Now what?" Ratchet asked.

"We follow the breadcrumbs." Blackout answered.

"Breadcrumbs?"

"The comm. ping. Do you need everything explained to you?" Blackout half-shuffled, half-limped away from the Autobots.

"I thought you said you couldn't use it to track them?" Optimus asked quietly.

"I can get an approximate fix on their vector based on where the dumb yellow one says he heard the explosion. We know the basic way, I can tell by comm. lag if we're getting hotter or colder." Bumblebee emitted an electronic whine, and gestured at Optimus. "What is his problem now?" Blackout grumbled.

"He does not like being referred to as the 'dumb yellow one'."

"Like I give a frag what he likes. Sure he's got some great terms of endearment for me." He shot a hateful glare at the young bot, who suddenly clamped up.

"His name is Bumblebee." Optimus continued mildly, his gaze was stern but not commanding. Blackout caught his gaze, his unspoken request. He growled impatiently.

"Call him that when he tells me that himself," the copter snarled. "Now are we going to stand around all day, or actually get something constructive done?" He continued walking, his leg servos beginning to whine under the coolant strain. His systems had started flashing up warning signs, which he promptly ignored. The moon's cold atmosphere, he figured, would sink most of the heat and prevent a heat-seize.

Optimus appeared by his side, startling him a little, despite his injuries, he could move pretty damn quick. Either that or his proximity sensors were starting to fail. Either way, unhappy-making for Blackout's favorite copter.

"I wish you'd let Ratchet look at you, Blackout." His tone was sympathetic, which annoyed Blackout even more. He did not need pity from Prime or anyone.

"Really wish you'd self-offline for me, if we're going to swap favors, Autobot." He shot a look back at Ratchet, who met his eye evenly. "Don't need him to look at me, touch me or come anywhere near me with those freaky tools of death he wields."

"Now you're just being insulting."

"What and I wasn't before? Gonna have to try harder." He pushed ahead of Optimus for a few strides, trying to ignore the new alarm yellow-lighting his display. Ratchet snarled in irritation. Keeping his distance.

"Please Blackout, before you go into stasis lock."

He looked back at Optimus who was looking at him intently now. "Those puppy dog eyes don't work on Decepticons, Prime. I will call your mute droneling by its name but don't push your luck." He muttered. Optimus stopped suddenly, hitting his comm. in reply to a buzz.

"Sideswipe here, can you read me? I have someone who wishes speak with you."

"Put Soundwave on." Optimus answered.

"State the condition of the Decepticon force on the planet." Soundwave's monotone rumbled through the comm. Blackout out sniggered; he of all mechs would hate being left out of the loop, he who usually was privy to all information. "Didn't know you cared, Soundwave. Surprised you haven't called Megatron."

"Blackout, Megatron's presence would be inadvisable considering the circumstances. He would offline all of you for even considering cooperating with the enemy."

"Had no choice. Death or dishonor. Not that you'd know anything about either."

"I will contact him only when I have no choice, Blackout," Soundwave replied, smoothly. "What is your status?"

"Functioning." He ignored Bumblebee's snort.

"The rest?"

"Trapped: Starscream's blind, Barricade is functional though he's got some injuries. Along with Prowl and Ironhide and the two humans."

"Understood, will monitor your progress. Soundwave out."

"Well, thanks, I feel much better now," Blackout muttered at Optimus's dead comm.

Ratchet was surprised. "Where was all your ridiculous banter that time?" Blackout huffed. "Soundwave doesn't do ridiculous. Need a sense of humor for that. Why I don't try it with you, either."

"I see. Prime, does Sideswipe have the maps?"

Optimus nodded his optics slightly glazed over. "He's compressing them and sending them via the comm. Carrier signal." His optics brightened. "All right, we have a map of the tunnel network, now we need to figure out where they're going."

His pressed something on the side of his head and a 3D holographic image of the tunnel network appeared in front of them beamed from his optics. Blackout took a step back as he analyzed the image. He pointed.

"The explosion was there, we were here--need to head that way." He ran his finger along the image. It faded as Optimus nodded. They moved out, Bumblebee went ahead keeping his distance from Blackout. Ratchet frowned as both Blackout and Optimus struggled to walk with any kind of ease. Blackout stumbled as one of his legs gave out a little; Optimus caught his arm as he fell into him. Righting himself, he gave a short nod to Optimus who then released his arm. Ratchet snorted derisively as he sauntered past them.

"You two make a right fraggin' pair. Both as bad each other. I hope you both fall on your afts. Will teach you a damn lesson in humility."

Blackout's optics widened at the medic's tone. This, he decided, was why he didn't like medic bots. That kind of attitude he was going to let near him while sensor blocked? No. Fraggin'. Way. Casting a look at Optimus he noticed he was just as surprised. "What's he pissed at you for?"

"I have no idea." Optimus answered wearily.

'_What's bothering you Ratchet?' _ Bumblebee asked innocently.

'_Sick of the 'con, insulting me.' _

'_When did he insult you? I thought he was just doing that to me.' _

Ratchet grunted. _'He's insulting what I do, Bee.'_ Bumblebee nodded, he knew Ratchet took pride in his work as a medic. _'Why you angry at Optimus?'_ Bumblebee glanced at him questioningly. Ratchet was stony faced as he answered out loud.

"Because that fraggin' stubborn leader of ours won't let me offline the damn 'con so I can do my job. Which would 1. Stop him whining so much and 2. Allow me to concentrate on his injuries so he doesn't go into stasis lock as well." Bumblebee smirked at the medic's anger. Optimus actually looked contrite behind him.

"Ratchet, you were the one who said you couldn't force him."

"Humph, you're lucky I don't relieve you of your command under medical grounds and offline the both of you." He grumbled.

Blackout's capacitor ticked. The only word he heard from the whole exchange was 'offline.' Repeatedly. He'd been right: damn medic was going to offline him. Blackout frowned. "He can't do that can he?" Optimus glanced down in amusement at the 'cons apparent fear of the irate medic. "No… he wouldn't…."

"Like frag I won't! You just keep leaking energon, both of you; you'll soon find out what I will and won't do."

"And you want HIM to look at me?" Blackout's optics were wide with horror and disbelief.

Optimus merely chuckled, surprising the 'con. "His bark is much worse than his bite."

"He keeps threatening to offline you? You tolerate that?" His visual display lurched. He grabbed for a projecting boulder to steady himself, hoping the damn 'bots didn't notice. Of course, the yellow idiot—what was his name? Bumblebore? Tweedlebee?—snickered mechanically. Saw the whole thing.

"Better than your insubordination," Ratchet said. "At least I have the good of the team at heart."

Optimus stopped, gesturing impatiently for the bickering to stop. "We've arrived at the location of the explosion. We need to contact Barricade find out where they headed. Blackout, would you mind?"

Blackout did mind, but he desperately wanted to hear a friendly vocalizer just now. And he had no energy left to argue. He hit Barricade's comm. tiredly.

"Barricade, these morons up here miss your melodious voice." His voice sounded thin, even to himself.

"On," Barricade replied. "Tell them the feeling's not mutual."

Blackout's vision flickered, breaking into horizontal stripes. He sat down, hard, on the surface. "Where are you?"

"Somewhere beneath the surface of this fraggin' rock. Where else?" A moment later, "You don't sound so good. Those damn Autobots do something to you?"

"What's your status?" Optimus asked patiently, his supraorbital plating raising in concern as the copter gathered his knee joints to his chest, like he was trying to curl back into a protoform.

"Still trapped, but in new and exciting ways. Your trigger-happy friend is not doing well, I am pleased to report. What's wrong with Blackout?"

"Know that feeling." Blackout mumbled. His head dropped to his knees. He jerked it back, wincing as it struck his rotor mount. He made a small whine in the back of his throat.

"Slag it! Blackout!" Barricade's voice held a note of something that startled even Ratchet. "You spark-cursed stupid glitchling. Talk to me."

"'m fine," Blackout said, blurrily. He tried to focus on Ratchet, to keep him away. Needed to keep the medic away. Medic would offline him. Said it himself. And Barricade and Starscream would be trapped. Or worse, by the other Autobots. Had to stay online. Had to pull himself together.

"What's wrong with him?" Barricade nearly yelled. "Listen, you bloody stupid Autobots, if you're responsible for this…."

"We didn't do anything," Optimus said. "He has still refused repairs."

"Well, fraggin' repair him, you glitch-headed idiot! You outnumber him by how many? Blackout. You with me?"

"Told you, I'm fi--…. They….maps….or…. Contacted Soundwa—"Blackout's eyes spiraled in, the red lenses irising in to blankness. He fell back on his rotors, hard enough that even Bumblebee winced.


	10. Chapter 10

The comm. suddenly went dead. Barricade tried to buzz Blackout again to no avail. Again. Silence. Priority cut-through. Nothing.

"Frag," he swore. Not good enough. He switched to Low Cybertronian, tearing off a string of curses so foul even Ironhide stepped away.

"Impressive," Starscream said. "Is this merely a general commentary on our plight or has something especially noteworthy occurred?"

"Fraggin' Blackout," he spat.

"Ah," the jet said.

Prowl and Ironhide exchanged confused looks. "Have you been speaking with the surface again?" Prowl asked.

"Other way around," he snapped. "Your damn Prime put Blackout on so I could hear them offline him." Starscream hissed, flexing his talons. "Is this how you Autobots do it?"

Ironhide laughed. "Right. You 'cons are crazy-paranoid, you know that? You should listen to yourselves."

"Crazy-paranoid's how I survive," Barricade muttered.

"How we survive," Starscream echoed, his claws, curving dangerously around Prowl in an obvious threat. Prowl knew better than to move, but he gathered himself. If need be, he could extricate himself. But tension was a little too high right now—last thing he wanted to do was add to it. "Barricade," Prowl said, keeping his tone soft, diplomatic, "What did you hear from the surface? Exactly?"

"Comm died. Blackout said something about Soundwave. And maps."

"None of them can contact Soundwave," Starscream mused. "His comm. freq cycles too rapidly."

"He must have contacted them." The two 'cons frowned at the implications of that.

"But where is your evidence that the Autobots have offlined Blackout?" Prowl asked. He didn't believe it for a minute, but right now, he needed the 'con to start talking sense again.

"Let's see—they made him comm. me, and then the comm. went dead as he was trying to tell me something. You need help with math?"

"Barricade." Starscream patted the air toward the smaller 'con. "It is Blackout."

Nadya looked between the pair. "What does that mean?" she asked Stokes.

He shrugged. "Could be anything."

Barricade snarled, but then, "You're right. Slag it." He started walking, pushing ahead of the others.

"What's the matter, Barricade?" Ironhide sneered. "You upset about your boyfriend?"

The smaller bot stopped. "I am upset," he hissed, "because we have lost surface contact. And all that passes for reasonable conversation down here is you."

Starscream released his threatening grip on Prowl with another apologetic pat. "If your Autobots had had any part of it…," he said, as if that explained everything.

"Never mind," Prowl said, tiredly. "Did they say anything else?"

"No," Barricade spat. "Comm died. With Blackout."

They walked on in silence for a time. Starscream subvoc'd the smaller Decepticon. _'Do not be upset. Blackout is well-designed. He will reboot. And then you can kick him into unconsciousness. I shall help.'_

'_Like to see how that fraggin' Autobot would act if one of his own offlined on comm. with him.' _

'_I suspect he would not care.' _

The smaller bot shrugged eloquently. The humans riding on his shoulders noticed the movement, but didn't know what to make of it.

Prowl called for a halt.

"What is it now," Starscream asked, wearily. "What is our next improbably annoying obstacle that will no doubt end in my humiliation and torment? Another climb? Another wall I shall have to be guided to shoot? Perhaps a tunnel so small I must be disassembled and carried through piece by piece?"

"Does he ever stop whining?" Stokes asked.

"No," Barricade answered. "That's how we verify he's still functioning."

"Just thought we'd take a rest," Prowl said, looking down the tunnel from which they'd come, seeing Ironhide's headlamps slowly approaching.

"A rest? I do not need a rest. You Autobots are weak. How you have managed ever to conduct a war with all of these 'rests' defies logic."

"Stow it, Starscream," Barricade said, lowering himself to the floor. The humans bailed off. He rolled his shoulders to loosen the stiff gyros. Those plates were not meant to be load bearing. "Cannons-for-brains is all gimpy. We're waiting for him to grace us with his presence."

"I imagine it will not be worth the wait." The jet squatted closer to the ground, locking his leg joints out in front of him.

Ironhide limped painfully to the others, too weak to grumble, too close to stasis lock to go any faster. He reached the cavern and paused. Barricade eyed him coldly.

"Glad you could join us."

"I'm not." He growled, alarms flashed across his sensor net, the energon leak had become too much. He took a step and wobbled slightly, took another.

Everyone jumped as metal crashed to the ground unceremoniously.

"What has happened?" Starscream shrilled his arms outstretched defensively.

"Ironhide has offlined."

"Really?"

Prowl growled as he made his way over to the collapsed mech. "Try not to sound too cheerful about it." He retorted his voice tense. In fact all of him was tense, he would actually crack up if he had to stay down here much longer with the paranoid 'cons and aggressively irritable Ironhide. Prowl ran his fingers over Ironhide's unconscious form. He felt internal relief that he wasn't in stasis lock, yet. Wouldn't be long though. He re-activated him and attempted to stem the flow of energon from his leg. Noticing a blue puddle beneath the 'bot he frowned. "You're leaking."

"Thanks for stating the obvious, Prowl; it's good to know you're on top of your game." Ironhide's voice was quiet, low, weak. Barricade hid his surprise at just how weak he sounded before shuttering his optics involuntarily. Prowl pushed Ironhide onto his side. "No you have a secondary leak. From the battle. Chain gun." He stated plainly.

"Oh a kindly present from Starscream. Might've guessed."

"If it were kindly, I would have shot you in the head and spared all of us the misery of your company."

"So generous." Ironhide snarled.

"I do what I can." Starscream answered sardonically. Prowl ignored them as he patched the wound on Ironhide's back. He left him on the floor to fix his leg and stood, walking some way into the cavern setting himself slightly apart from the others wearily.

Prowl was the first to notice the tremor in the ground beneath his feet. A slight tremor. Like standing on a launch platform when an intersystem ship launched. Just a tiny vibration, just enough to set his ear finials singing.

He walked back over to the others and looked: Starscream sat quietly—not whining, for a change—doing a manual inspection of his legs and feet. Not heavy enough to make the vibration. His turbines weren't even spinning. Wasn't him. Beside him, Barricade leaned against a rock, his head tilted back; eyes solidly shuttered closed, face illuminated harshly from below by his headlamps. Wasn't him. And it wasn't Ironhide either, sitting at his feet where he'd tied off the energon line in his leg as best he could. Bad news.

Nadya came over to him, gesturing back at the two Decepticons. "They're out of it right now," she grinned. "They were the ones who said they didn't want a rest."

"Could kill them right now," Stokes said. "Wouldn't even see it coming."

"One," Barricade's voice floated over to them coldly, "I'd like to see you try, plasma bag, and two: go ahead. Don't even care anymore."

"Shhh," Prowl said. He didn't need any more of this right now. On the brink of a breakdown himself. And…there it was again. A solid tremor. Building this time.

"Starscream," Barricade said, dully, "Stop cycling your fraggin' turbines."

"I am not doing anything with my turbines," the jet said, offended at the cursing, but confused.

"Shut up. You do it all the time when you're upset. Probably don't even notice it. You're making my aft vibrate."

"It's not him," Prowl said. He circled the chamber warily, trying to find where it was coming from. Not above. So, not anyone trying to drill down and rescue. Sort of below.

The chamber shook, violently. Some stone, dislodged from the ceiling slammed down between them. Nadya and Stokes took cover with Ironhide. Prowl barely managed to throw himself behind a small outcropping before a chunk of rock almost as large as he was landed where he'd just been standing. A sound like thunder—like being under an interplanetary drive on a launch platform—ripped through the room, drowning out anything else.

A moment later, it was still. Frigid blasts of air pushed through new cracks in the tunnel wall, with small hissing sounds. Prowl stood up. "Everyone all right?"

"Fine," Ironhide said. "Two humans, too."

"'Cons? Barricade? Starscream?" He flashed his headlamps to discover a new pile of stone right where the jet had been sitting.

Ironhide caught the spot lit pile. "No great loss there."

The stones moved, thrown violently off the jet's broad back. "There is no loss at all, save of my dignity. Once again." He pulled away, revealing Barricade clutched in one arm. He had thrown himself over the smaller bot when the rocks began falling.

"I am not your slagging teddy bear," the 'con muttered.


	11. Chapter 11

Surface:

Ratchet didn't need any command, he was by Blackout's side before Optimus had even realized what had happened. He laid him out flat on the ground gently. It didn't matter that he was a 'con, Ratchet's first duty was to heal and save where he could. Scanning him he frowned. Optimus came to crouch by his side.

"Prognosis, Ratchet?"

"He's in stasis lock. Frag. Optimus, be somewhere else, let me do my damn job." He growled impatiently. Optimus nodded and took the hint. Ratchet was a genius at what he did, wouldn't do any good to be looking over his shoulder. He walked over to Bumblebee who was hovering anxiously. "Bumblebee, are you all right?" He nodded meekly. _'Didn't know he was that bad.'_ He glanced up at his leader. _'My fault.'_

"Not your fault," Optimus was touched that the young 'bot actually now felt compassion for one that he not so long ago would have tried to kill on sight and judging by Blackout's injuries actually attempted to. "Bumblebee, we all do what we have to do in war. Its times like these that remind us, we're not so different." He cast a sad look towards where Blackout was lying with his medic diligently working on him as if he was one of his own.

Optimus's comm. buzzed. "Prime, you have a problem down there. I am detecting some geological instability coming up from beneath the surface. Soundwave's scanners are more powerful than ours: he says there are active geysers all over the area in which you're currently located. Optimus, you're smack in the middle of a fraggin' mine field." Sideswipe finished somberly.

Right on cue Optimus felt the ground shaking. Bumblebee grabbed him as he almost stumbled and fell backwards. The ground cracked beneath them. They shot a look towards Ratchet; there was no way he would leave the injured 'con now. The ground vibrated hard before the rock erupted with a white flash of steam. It shot up into the atmosphere to incredible heights in a white plume. Bumblebee dove, knocking Optimus to the ground out of the way of the giant geyser shooting from beneath the surface. The sound was thunderous, screeching. After a long moment it faded to a mere whisper, leaving a gaping hole in the ground which then promptly collapsed in on itself.

"Optimus!? Optimus??" Sideswipe's increasingly frantic voice sounded on his comm. Optimus groaned as he sat up with Bumblebee's help. His wound was leaking again. Not good. He placed his hand over it to disguise the energon flow from Bumblebee who was too busy looking for Ratchet to notice.

"I'm here, Sideswipe." His voice was thin, ragged. "Thanks for the heads-up."

"Sorry Sir, moon doesn't come with alarms." Optimus chuckled then checked himself as the movement sent shivers of pain through his body. "Can you predict when they are to occur and where?"

"I think so, only with Soundwave's help." Optimus rolled his optics. Typical. "Do what you can."

"Optimus, another thing. When the geyser erupts it leaves a temporary tunnel cutting through the surface. It can link the underground caverns with the surface. It could prove useful."

"Good thinking, Sideswipe. However the tunnel doesn't seem stable enough to be of much use to mount a rescue."

"I'll investigate options. Sideswipe out."

He turned sharply as he heard Bumblebee's electronic signal, frantic. He forced himself to stand. He couldn't see Ratchet. Boulders of rock were being shifted at some pace by Bumblebee, before they moved with a groan. Ratchet pushed the rocks off his back; he was lying flush to the inactive 'con. His armour was dented and scratched; he'd protected the larger 'con with his own body.

'Blackout is not going to be happy about this,' Optimus mused to himself. "Ratchet?"

"Still functioning."

"Blackout?"

"Just barely. Thankfully none of the fraggin' rocks hit him." He continued his work.

Prime approached the limp bot's head. "Can you activate his comm?"

"I think so, but why?"

"Need to make sure they're still alive down there."

Ratchet tinkered with something and then a loud static buzz filled the air.

"Barricade, can you hear me?"

"Prime? Where's Blackout? What have you slaggin', glitching Autobots done to him? And how are you even talking to me? This is a secure freq!"

"Barricade, Ratchet is working on Blackout as we speak, he went into stasis lock."

"This is your fraggin' fault, Prime! If you were any sort of real leader, you'd've ordered him repaired and we wouldn't be in this fraggin' mess!" Barricade was more than a little perturbed from the sounds of it. Optimus frowned impatiently. Ratchet placed a hand on his arm.

'_Just think how you would feel if one of us was trapped up here outnumbered by 'cons and then we went offline.'_ Optimus stared at him. Before turning back to the comm.

"Barricade, calm down, please. I understand how you must be feeling… I…"

"You don't understand a damn thing, Prime! Got rocks coming down round our afts, fraggin' geysers trying to crush us and you offlined our only link to the surface. Going to come up there and offline the lot of you," he snarled. Ratchet made a funny expression. Optimus finally got annoyed.

"Barricade, so help me if you don't calm down this instant I am going to come down there and forcibly remove that paranoid circuit that you have wound up your aft. You can't come and offline anyone without our help, so shut the slag up and listen." Ratchet raised his orbital plating questioningly, amusement flickering across his face at his leader's rare loss of cool. Optimus frowned, shrugged and shook his head. He continued before Barricade had a chance to recover from the verbal lashing. "Now I need to know your status, there's been a geyser erupting onto the surface."

"Functioning," Barricade answered in a low growl.

"Sideswipe is going to try and predict when and where they are to occur with Soundwave's help."

"Soundwave doesn't help. Period."

"Things change Barricade, get over it." A low growl rumbled through the comm. "We will try and give you a head's up when we know more information."

"That all?"

"No actually, I have a question." Ratchet interrupted. "What exactly does 'offline' mean to you 'cons?"

"What the slag do you think it means? You're the medic! Bad enough I have to put up with your damn leader finally finding his gyros—now I have to give you language lessons?"

"Well to us it means temporarily shut down. Sensor block a mech so they can be operated on."

"Oh." The note of surprise was evident in Barricade's tone. "That's dumb."

"I take it, it means something more permanent to you guys huh?"

"Yeah, genius. We call sensor block, ummm, well, let's see, oh yeah, SENSOR BLOCK. Could see how that's an alien fraggin' term for you. So much easier to call it something like death."

"Would explain why this stubborn Son of Unicron freaked out whenever I came near him." He spoke more to Optimus now than Barricade. The 'con beneath him stirred slightly. "He's coming 'round."

"Could do with having your bedside manner realigned, medic." Barricade replied tersely. "Though I doubt anyone's willing to get that close to you."

"Barricade, Ratchet saved Blackout's life. You could at least be grateful." Optimus's tone had softened as he watched Blackout's optics flicker faintly.

"Grateful? For Blackout? Barely even like him. Just need him right now."

"Sure, Barricade, I'm certain you don't care a bit." Ratchet poked sarcastically. His tone became more professional. "Blackout, speak to me."

"What the… FRAG! Get off me you crazy slaggin' 'bot, you're not offlining me!" Blackout shrieked as he came to, unable to stand he crawled in an attempt to get away from the bemused 'bots. His arms flailed in front of him, in a feeble attempt at defense.

"Blackout, stop whining, the 'bots actually did something useful. Course, it's only going to be useful 'til the jet and I can kick your skidplate personally."

"Barricade?" Blackout glared blearily at Optimus. "You hijacked my comm? Explains why I thought everyone was yelling at my slaggin' head." Optimus shrugged contritely, still vaguely amused at his panic.

"You stasis locked, you slaggin' whining, glitching idiot mech!" Barricade reeled off a string of abuse at the dazed 'con. His tone softened a little. "Medic might've saved your pathetic spark."

Blackout stared at Ratchet who was now standing, putting his stash of tools away.

"Still don't trust him."

"Wouldn't either; he's got anger issues like Megatron. Still need them. Prime?"

"Yes Barricade."

"Grateful," he said, grudgingly.

Optimus smirked. "You're welcome."

"What are you doing? I don't need you thanking them for me."

"You wouldn't."

"Not the point."

"Shut the slag up, Blackout, and do something useful. Let them know their hired gun is fading fast. Looks close to stasis lock. Humans have half their air supply left. Need to find a way out and soon."

"Think you just took care of that for me. Comm.'s still wide open."

"One: you better fraggin' fix that, and two: good to hear your voice, you stupid moron warrior glitch."

The comm went dead. Blackout glanced up at Optimus, who was frowning at Barricade's report. His systems were not 100% but he was functioning much better. A few systems were still lit on yellow, but nothing was red screening him anymore. The medic wasn't such a demon after all. His optics glanced down to where Optimus was clutching his side absently. He noted the blue energon that seeped from beneath his hand as he turned to face Ratchet. "We need to get moving. This way." he commanded.

"Not going to thank me, is he?"

Optimus smiled wryly. "We should count ourselves lucky to get one 'con to thank us, Ratchet."

Bee bobbed up to Blackout, who lumbered steadily to the east, one hand near his audio receptor to test the distance ping. "What do you want?" Blackout narrowed his optics at the yellow bot. Bumblebee felt a little touched—the stupid 'cons were still stupid, but something sincere and real held Barricade and Blackout together. He respected that. He made a sympathetic whine, patting the larger bot's arm. Blackout jerked away. "Don't touch me," he said, but his voice wasn't as venomous as before. He walked on for a few more strides, trying to ignore the yellow bot bouncing along beside him. "Hey," he said, finally. "Tell your freaky medic bot of death that your fearless leader's about to drop." Bumblebee bleeped curiously. "Leak. Chest. Look for yourself if you don't believe me. 'Cause I'd totally make this up."

The yellow Autobot looked over his shoulder at Prime. He did seem to be walking…slower. As if his left side were slightly numbed and unresponsive. He frowned, and dropped back to Ratchet.

"Good," the copter muttered after him. "Don't want the slaggin' 'bot to slow us down."


	12. Chapter 12

"I henceforth claim the right above all others to complain," Starscream announced. "I suspect that if humiliating me were not the primary objective here, some other solution would have been found to transport this disgusting Autobot."

"Don't think I'm enjoying it either," Ironhide snarled, slung between the jet's two engines with the remains of the humans' climbing ropes.

"Starscream, you're the only one big enough to do it," Prowl said. "Ironhide is far too big for Barricade to manage."

"Huh?" Barricade said, looking up.

"What did the surface have to say this time?" Starscream asked. "I am wracked with envy that I have no one to talk to save these cursed Autobots. Who are heavy and poorly balanced." He jostled his jets. The Autobot kicked back with his good leg, ringing off one engine's housing.

Prowl frowned. "You were in contact with the surface again? And you didn't tell us?" This was getting frustrating. How many times did he have to tell the 'cons about this? He could sure use some of Prime's calm advice right about now.

"They were in contact with me," Barricade said. "Had no choice. They hijacked Blackout's comm."

"Prime wouldn't do that." Ironhide said.

"He did. Beginning to think he has a crush on me the way he keeps calling."

"My sincerest condolences," Starscream said.

"Blackout?" Prowl asked. "Still offline?"

"Don't want to talk about it." Barricade growled. Nadya brushed one of his cheek plates.

"I'm sorry you lost your friend," she said.

"He's fine," Barricade growled. "The slagging moron."

"I told you so," Starscream said. "He is simply too stupid to die."

"Did they say anything this time?" Prowl had so many questions—so many strategies he wanted Prime's feedback on. He was getting frustrated that he couldn't seem to get answers to any of them. Couldn't even get a word in.

"Helpful? No. Funny, yes. Get this: they think they can collaborate with Soundwave to help predict when the next geyser will try to drop a few megatons of moon on our crankcases."

Starscream laughed. Not a small chortle like usual, but a long, deep, almost hysterically edged sound. He managed to recover himself after a long moment. "These Autobots are clearly delusional."

"Tried to tell them, but you know how Autobots are. They're right, no question."

"You know, we're right here."

"Unfortunately," Starscream snapped. "It is rather difficult to forget with you hauling on my engine mounts."

"Hey, isn't this Soundwave guy supposed to be on your side?" Stokes asked.

"There is a difference between fighting under the same insignia and caring if we die."

"Not for us," Ironhide said, smugly.

"Another Autobot obligation that serves no useful purpose. Such as allying yourself with these pathetic creatures," Starscream gestured toward Barricade's voice, where the humans were.

Prowl snapped. "Would all of you stop it? There's plenty of time for resuming the war after we're on the surface."

"And can kill each other without caving the roof in on ourselves," Barricade added, warningly. He'd seen Ironhide move to charge his pulse cannon.

"Come on," Stokes said, "You don't really hate us, do you?"

"Sure do." Barricade said, cheerfully. "Especially how you're straining my medial shoulder assembly."

The ground shook ominously underfoot. The jet squeaked, staring uselessly toward the ceiling. The ground heaved. Starscream crouched to all fours, trying to keep his orientation using all of his limbs. Ironhide bumped awkwardly against his verniers. Prowl dropped into a low crouch. Barricade spun to his right, his hand coming up to shield Nadya on his shoulder. "Hey!" Stokes shouted, when the quake stopped and Barricade straightened up. "Shut up, fleshbag," Barricade snarled. "My right side has sensitive comm. nodes. That's all." He looked around. All of them were staring at him, even Ironhide, peeking around the jet's rib strut. "That's all!" he snarled.

"Thank you," Nadya said.

"Shut up. Just didn't feel like picking squishy bits out of my secure signal amp for the next decacycle."

"What about me? I could have squished into something too, you know," Stokes joked.

"You, I would leave. You simply could not smell any worse rotting into my hydraulics than you do now."

"Barricade," Starscream said, regaining his feet, "Am I to infer that you have just protected one of the humans?"

"By accident!" He looked around wildly. Even Prowl was having a hard time stifling a laugh. "All right, that's it. I'm done." He crouched to the ground. "Fleshbags, get the slag off me. Let Mr. High and Mighty Prowl carry you. Or the fraggin' jet, who apparently likes to hug things—really, Starscream, that's a sickness, you know, and you should get your programming looked at and if you touch me again I swear I will not be responsible for my actions—or, how's about this, you can walk."

The astronauts scrambled down off his shoulders. He rolled his gyros showily as he straightened up. "Thank Primus!" he said, "Stupid females. Shouldn't be allowed into combat. Shouldn't be allowed into space. Possibly shouldn't be allowed to talk." Nadya shot him a dirty look.

Stokes leaned over to Nadya, "He's got such a crush on you…."

Prowl and Barricade stared each other down. "Fine," Prowl said. "I'll take the humans. It's only fair. You, however, have to lead Starscream."

"Uhhh, bad idea," Ironhide muttered. "You sure you want to glue them together like this?"

"You think I'm letting that damn jet paw me some more you're crazy. Maybe I'll try to manage Ironhide. Least I know he'd hate it as much as I did."

"I am targeting something," Starscream said, blandly. His operational gun aimed at Prowl. "At this point I have no idea whom. Nor do I care to know. Please do not ruin the surprise. If we do not get moving and soon I will have no qualm about firing."

"Fine," Barricade said, snatching the jet's right hand. "See you're already picking up on Ironhide's diplomatic skills."

"Only, however, I do them better." His hand curled around Barricade's. Prowl scooped up Stokes, and extended a hand to Nadya. She shook her head. "I could use a bit of a walk."

They walked along in sullen silence. Only Dead End seemed completely untouched by the sour mood. He bounced ahead, checking the map with local features. "Should be," he said, excitedly, "a ground exit coming up." The pace picked up. And then….

"Dead End, I suspect that even blind, I would navigate better than you have managed," Starscream said, stumbling into a pile of rubble."

"It's not his fault," Prowl said. "Another cave in. No telling how far away the actual surface is."

"SOMETHING is TOUCHING ME!" Starscream shrieked. "Get it off! Get it off!" He looked pointlessly down at his ankle. Barricade sighed.

"It's the female."

"Tell her to cease molesting me."

"Yeah, like she listens to me," Barricade said. "Get over it. I had two of them crawling all over me." He scooped her up and deposited her on one of the jet's ailerons. Nadya squeaked with surprise at the motion. "Here. Get the full experience."

"We can find another way," Dead End said, even his perkiness damped a bit. "There's a turn off a bit back. It's a bit longer, but it also has a ground exit." The mood was even less cheerful this time, but it seemed no one had the energy to snipe. For that, at least, Prowl was grateful.

Barricade stiffened. He tapped a node on his neck. "On and hot," he said.

They heard Blackout's voice. "Sky-eyes telling us we're getting a tectonic shift roughly in your area."

Barricade looked at Prowl, expectantly.

"Optimus can you hear me?"

"Prowl, good to hear your voice. Sorry to cut this short but Soundwave has reported that there will be another geyser eruption in approximately one minute."

"Noted, are there any further developments on getting us out of here?"

Optimus's tone changed. "I'm sorry Prowl; we're doing all we can, hang in there. Optimus out."

'Doing all they can, that's all he had to say.' Prowl thought dejectedly.

"Great. Now we at least can see it coming." Barricade said, cutting off comm., trudging forward again, dragging the jet by his hand.

They had no other warning. Unlike before, where the ground shook first, here, it cracked, loudly enough to damp audio processors. A white jet of super cooled gas sliced the party in half. Barricade lunged, as the split tore beneath his feet. He caught the far side, where Prowl hauled him up. Starscream jumped back, blinded, hearing only the noise and feeling the beyond-icy blast near his face. He fell back, rolled, and regained his feet, shaking. "Barricade?" he called out, over the roar of the geyser. "Prowl?" He groped blindly. "Anyone?"

"I'm still here," Ironhide muttered. He'd tumbled out of the improvised sling, and had managed to pull himself up to his own equally shaky stand, balancing hard on one leg.

"Me too," said Nadya, clinging desperately to the jet's neck cables. Somehow she'd managed to stay on—half wedging herself between the jet's body and his armor plate.

Starscream whipped his hands downward in a gesture of frustration. "I could not be stranded with two more useless creatures."

"You're not the picture of handiness yourself," Ironhide snarled.

"Wait," Nadya said, "He is. He can get us to the other side." The ground shook under their feet again. They all jumped. The air hissed with the up thrust of the gas.

"And how do you propose to do that? Shall I make myself a land bridge?"

"You fly."

"I cannot see. I am equally likely to fly into a wall as anywhere else." He explored the area with his hands. "Statistically, more likely to fly into a wall. Or the floor. Or the ceiling." He dropped to his aft, despairing. "And I shall die here. With you." As if that somehow made it worse.

"Knock it off," Nadya said, but she didn't say it harshly. "You turn into a plane, right? Those piloting controls work?"

A look of horror grew on the jet's face. "I am to let you touch me? FLY me? That is out of the question. I am a Decepticon warrior, not a human taxi."

The chamber shook. A piece of rock dislodged itself by the jet's right hip. He flinched. "Rethinking that?" Ironhide goaded. "It's the only way!" He raised his voice to be heard over the sound of whistling, pressurized gas.

"I am exceedingly tired of hearing that phrase," Starscream said. "When I rule the Decepticons, I shall reprogram anyone who uses it." Another tremor.

"Come on," Nadya said. She remembered Barricade's muttered advice. Stroke the jet's ego. "You can do this. Only to get us across. And just think how it will bother Ironhide that you have to rescue him."

The jet snarled, but climbed to his feet. "Fine. But we shall never speak of this…abomination again." He fell into his vehicle mode, grumbling while Nadya climbed up to his cockpit. He was already idling his engines. Just like Barricade had said—when he was upset, Starscream cycled his turbines. He must have been plenty upset.

"All right," she said, checking his equipment. A HUD flared in front of her. "Ready?"

"I am ready for this to be over with."

"It's been a long time since I sat in a jet," she mused absently. Starscream whined a little.

"I am going to be offlined." He groaned wearily.

Being used to the standard Russian air force jets which were seriously outdated; she put too much pressure onto his throttle. Starscream jolted forward sharply with a shriek. "Whoa!" Ironhide yelled and swung his arm out catching the jet's nose prompting Starscream to halt before crashing into a wall.

"Ooops," Nadya stated sheepishly.

"OOOPS?!" Starscream shrilled.

"Let's try that again shall we?" she said, nervously.

"No. I have changed my mind: this is a stupid human plan. It can only fail!"

"Have a little faith. I've had lots of practice." She shot a wink to Ironhide who frowned dubiously. "About fifteen years ago," she added under her breath.

She put a hand on the throttle again and eased it forward. He made a gagging sound, but moved forward. "Can you reach down from this mode to pick up Ironhide?"

"What if I tell you no? Does that mean we would leave the cursed Autobot here to rot? Forever?"

"Please, just do it, if you leave him here who will you get the satisfaction of blaming for holding us up when we all die down here?"

He growled, but she felt the drop in thrust as he picked up the added weight. He was more maneuverable than any plane she'd ever flown before—able to hover, and turn in a radius that was aerodynamically impossible. She overcorrected a few times, the jet complaining every time she adjusted his angle. "Stop poking me!" he griped.

"One more. All right." They were pointed directly at the geyser, which still blew a wall of whitish-grey pressurized gas in front of them. "Here we go."

"Death and dishonor," Starscream muttered. "I can hardly wait."

She punched the throttle. He shot forward, pushing her back into the seat. As he hit the geyser's blast, he shrieked, and initiated a sharp barrel roll, still shooting forward. They rocketed through the gas. Rocks pummeled the jet, shaken down from the ceiling. She eased off the throttle as soon as she couldn't hear the geyser behind her. They should be safe from falling rock. Her own heart was pounding and could feel him shaking from the geyser's icy contact through his fuselage. "Okay," she said. "We're through."

He dropped to his robot mode, expelling her unceremoniously from his cockpit. 'Where," he gasped, "Where is everyone?"

She looked around. "We must have overshot them."

"Maybe," Ironhide said, shaking a little from his own, but more limited exposure to the geyser, "we took a wrong turn. None of us knows what was up ahead of us when it blew."


	13. Chapter 13

"Come on," Rumble said from his position inside Soundwave's chest. "They're sitting ducks down there, Soundwave. We can blast 'em easy. What are you waiting for?"

"We are tasked with providing assistance in locating seismic disturbances that may endanger the sparks of three of our forces."

"It's just three of them. And face it—no great loss, any of them. Compared to five Autobots? Including PRIME?"

"I am acting under orders," Soundwave said. He didn't express emotion much, but Rumble could tell he was unhappy.

****

Surface:

Optimus hated to cut Prowl short but the geyser was imminent. He attempted to herd Bumblebee and Ratchet behind an outcrop of boulders and beckoned to Blackout.

"We need to take cover," he stated.

"Aware of that," Blackout grumbled as he moved, still gingerly, towards the Autobots. Not a minute too soon as the icy plume burst through the surface right where he'd been standing, whistling with high pitched howls as it went.

They were all thrown to the floor in the ensuing quake. Optimus cried aloud with pain. Ratchet was the first to his feet and almost dragged Bumblebee to the rocky outcrop before heading back towards the plume of escaping gas to help Blackout up, who gestured at the prone form of Optimus, frowning at the yellow 'bot crouched beneath the rock shelf wincing as rubble was thrown at them from the erupting surface.

"Might want to drag your leader out of the way, Bumblebore, before he gets stoned beyond all recognition!" he yelled over the sound of the geyser and heard Ratchet huff beside him as they dodged the falling rocks to reach the shelter of the rocky outcrop. Another tremor sent Ratchet to his knees; Blackout hoisted him up firmly by his arm, dragging him to the fallen Optimus. Ratchet stared at him. "Thanks."

"Don't want to carry him myself," he answered off-handedly. "Besides your friends," he looked meaningfully upward, "would never believe that it wasn't me who offlined his dumb aft. Thought the yellow idiot was going to tell you about this." He pointed at the now gaping wound in Optimus's side.

Ratchet grunted as rock pelted his helm. "I knew about it, serves the slaggin' 'bot right for thinking he can try to hide his injuries from me. Look where it got him. Will think twice about doing it again."

Blackout stared at Ratchet feeling a little something like respect building inside of him. With this attitude, the bot could almost be a Decepticon. He'd always thought the Autobots were full of love and hugs. Ratchet's hard attitude was an almost pleasant surprise. As long as someone else was the target.

Optimus groaned. "I can hear you Ratchet…" His voice was strained. Ratchet, crouched beside him managing to duck out of the way of yet more rocks being hurled at them from above as they were lifted high into the air by the strength of the geyser.

"Doesn't mean you ever listen though does it?" He nodded to Blackout. They each grabbed an arm and heaved Optimus to his feet, dragging him to the outcrop before planting him down firmly. Blackout glanced at the now sheepish Bumblebee. "Glad you're here, being all useful," he goaded.

Ratchet was currently giving an earful to Optimus; they could hear a little better now. Blackout stole a glance at the white tower of gas piercing the ground, unrelenting.

He turned back to the severely chastised Prime, as Ratchet continued to complain. Blackout was amused. Prime being spoken to by one of his subordinates like a sparkling. He made sure to record the details for posterity and further amusement. He felt his comm. buzz.

"Blackout, this is Soundwave. Are you uninjured?"

"Functioning, Soundwave, much to your disappointment. Not too sure about the ones down below."

"The Autobots?"

"'Fraid they're still functioning too, Soundwave. Surprised you haven't fragged us all from your perch in the sky."

"Not my orders. Soundwave out."

Blackout frowned as the comm. shut off abruptly. He took the opportunity to contact Barricade.

"What? What is it now?" Barricade snapped.

"Hey there, sunshine," Blackout said, tartly. "Checking in, making sure you're surviving the mine field."

"I'm touched." Barricade growled sullenly. "Doing just great, freakin' party down here."

"That bad?"

"Lost the big guns, both of them. Entire fraggin' chasm opened up. On the plus side, the human female's finally gone, too. Will have to thank him for that later." Barricade's voice trembled, it sounded like he was shaking.

"You okay?"

"You'd better not," Barricade hissed, "even think about lecturing me after you stasis locked." A whine forced its way through his vocalizer.

"Barricade, what the frag happened?" About twenty different scenarios crossed Blackout's mind. "Which Autobot do you want me to offline for you?"

"All of them, preferably."

"What happened to you?"

"Got caught in the blast, legs frozen. The amazingly uninjured, ever superior Prowl is defrosting them." Blackout heard Prowl's low tone of indignation sound through the comm. "Only, of course, so we can continue this voyage of joy and discovery."

"We'll compare notes later. Just because we can see sky doesn't mean it's been a non-stop fiesta up here, you know."

"What you remember of it, you stasis-locking moron," Barricade snapped. "You probably missed the part where you were the pinata." Blackout snorted. If Barricade was up to this level of snark, he couldn't be that badly off. "What's up top?" Barricade asked, ignoring Prowl's complaint. "Prime is down. Doc of Death is slowly torturing him."

"Each to their own, though I'm surprised they find the time for such tender romance at a time like this." Barricade muttered. "Any genius plans yet?"

Blackout didn't respond.

"Thought not." Barricade sounded glum. The comm. fell silent. Blackout glanced up as the geyser began to fade. Finally he could hear the sound of his own voice. A faint tremor vibrated through his feet. This wasn't over.


	14. Chapter 14

Surface:

Optimus winced as Ratchet prodded his wound. He wasn't the gentlest of mechs. "Where did you think it was going to get you hmmm? Covering up a wound as severe as this. I thought you had more sense than a youngling. As dumb as that damn 'con, you know." Optimus rolled his optics as Ratchet continued to rant.

"Optimus?"

"Yes, Sideswipe."

"Been looking at those openings created when a geyser shoots through the surface."

Optimus waited, "Yes, Sideswipe…," he prompted when Sideswipe seemed to get distracted.

"Oh yes! Well depending on where the geysers erupt, the tunnels they create to the surface are of varying degrees of stability. The harder the rock, the more it shatters. However the softer the rock the more stable the openings are."

"What are you getting at?"

"Well, using ship's scanners I have managed to create a map of the sort of rock consistency you should be aiming for and overlay it over the pre-existing tunnel network."

"In aid of what, Sideswipe?" Optimus was rapidly losing patience.

"Well they would only have a few seconds but I was thinking if my calculations are correct they can ride one of those babies to the surface."

Ratchet butted in, "The temperature of those geysers is below absolute zero. If a mech gets hit by that he could go into system wide shock. It can cause tremors, circuit failure. If the energon freezes and reaches the spark chamber, the spark chamber would destabilize and their spark would shatter."

"You're just a ray of light and hope for us all, aren't you?" Blackout commented sarcastically. He hadn't told the others that Barricade had been hit. He hated the gnawing little nanovirus of worry that started chewing on his attention span. Barricade would be all right, wouldn't he? He'd sounded okay. Kind of okay.

Ratchet merely frowned. "Stating the facts."

Optimus was dubious. "How about the tunnels they're in now?"

"From what I can tell, those tunnels only have a couple of surface routes, none particularly stable. With the tremors what do you think the chances are of either being open and not subject to a cave in?"Sideswipe spoke somberly as Optimus thought over his options. He spoke up once more. "Optimus, Ratchet would have his work cut out for him, not to mention what the temperatures would do to the humans, but this could be their only shot to the surface."

****

"You know," Prowl said, "we are trying to help you." He waved a handheld thermal unit over Barricade's legs. The paint had gone greyish and vague.

"Save me for a fate worse than death," the con muttered.

"FROM a fate," Stokes corrected. He was applying the small point of an acetylene torch into Barricade's knee joint.

"What?"

"You mean 'save you from a fate worse than death.' That's how the saying goes."

"Know what the saying is, fleshsack. Consider being dead preferable to being stuck with you and Prince Perfect. And the only reason he's 'saving' me is because he needs my comm."

Prowl growled audibly this time. "You know Barricade you could at least just accept that some of us don't want to blow your sorry spark to the pits and be silently gracious about it, rather than griping on about how we're all out to get you and I'm just using you for what you can do for me. I have been nothing but civil to you, I don't expect any respect from you that would be too much to ask of your limited social skills." Barricade growled softly at the remark. "But could you at the very least, shut up. If you don't have anything useful or civil to add—before I stop resisting the urge to throw you in the path of the geyser." He glared furiously at Barricade's legs as he ran the thermal unit across the frost-bitten metal.

It was a few minutes before anyone spoke; the tension was thick in the air.

"By the way," Barricade asked, "You enjoy that conversation with your estimable leader, Prime? Was it everything you expected?"

"He trusts me to handle things," Prowl said, stiffly.

Stokes tried to redirect conversation. "So, what's up with you and Nadya, Barricade?"

"Up? Nothing's up, down or any way. Disgusted you allow females into combat, that's all."

"Yeah, well, no one tells Nadya what to do." He laughed to himself before continuing, much to Barricade's irritation. "There was this time at NASA, when we were training. She is one of the best pilots we've got, right? So they put us into this simulation which was actually being tested. It was our final exam before the mission: we fail that and we're grounded. They threw everything at us and I mean everything. So of course we failed."

"Is there a point to this? Or am I supposed to take comfort knowing you're both failures?"

"Well, Nadya didn't like this no win scenario crap, she's one who thinks there's a solution to all life's problems but only if you're willing to get your hands dirty. Anyway she goes to the flight director and voices her concerns. It turns into an all-out tantrum on his part, but she stood there and took it—didn't even flinch and I mean this guy was big, and loud and as dumb as they come but he knew how to fly and he never let anyone question his methods. That is until Nadya. She waited until he'd finished, walked over to him slowly and I have no idea what she said to him but that guy went white as a sheet. We got to do the test again, but I tell ya that woman, has some weird Russian vibe about her, you don't want to get in her way when she's on a mission to do something and you can't tell her, she always does it her way."

"Noticed."

"Besides, the Autobots let females fight."

"Emulating their ideas is not exactly a winning argument, plasma bag. Autobots do a lot of stupid stuff."

"Stupid stuff," Prowl said, frustrated, "like saving your sorry crankshaft." He shut off his thermal. "Try it now."

Barricade heaved himself to his feet. He took a few gingerly steps forward. The servos whined, and he winced, but he could move. And the shaking had stopped. "Seems okay." He picked up the sack of Neptunium from where it had gotten thrown. He looked at the other two. Waiting, no doubt, for gratitude. Fat chance. Barricade had already used his allotment of gratitude for the solar cycle. They'd seen the jet rocket through the geyser and overhead to the left. Once again, the planet had to go to Unicron. "What? Are you coming?"

*****

Ironhide was a little surprised the jet wasn't whining. In fact, he was almost getting worried. The larger mech shivered, hard enough to rattle his frame, curled into a ball. A very large ball, but a ball. Ironhide was doing miles better, himself.

"You okay?"

"I am…marginally functional, human," He flailed his gun in a large circle. "Do not try to attack me, Autobot. My targeting system is still online."

"Not doing so good myself," Ironhide admitted. "Maybe that was a bad idea."

"It was the human's idea," Starscream muttered, as a way of saying 'of course it was a bad idea'." Another shiver racked him.

"Are you in pain, Starscream?" Nadya felt helpless. She should have figured that the gas would affect them. Nothing could be that cold and not have some impact on the mechs. Gently she placed a warm hand on his freezing leg. "I'm sorry Starscream, I should have known better about the effect of the geyser. I grew up in one of the coldest places on the planet. Got lost in a blizzard once, I was found half dead in a snow drift. All I remember is the cold and how it gets everywhere, one of the most painful, scariest things I've ever felt."

"Oh that's some good comforting. Are you trying to make him panic?" Ironhide grumbled.

"I'm just saying that I know how you feel, I wish I could help. I'm sorry I did this to you."

"Unimportant," the jet snapped. His turbines fired in irritation. Nadya felt a gush of hot air wash over her.

"That's it!" Nadya said. "Can you burn your engines hot? If they generate enough heat into the surrounding area, couldn't that help raise your internal temperature?"

The jet grumbled something about 'another' human plan, but he ignited his engines. Ironhide dragged himself closer to the jet's back. Nadya could feel the heat through her space suit. This had to be helping. She watched as Ironhide slowly stopped shivering, and straightened up from his frozen hunch. "Better?" she asked the jet.

"No." He cut off his engines.

"I thought you were supposed to handle extremes of temperature," Ironhide said—the damn jet just wanted to whine again, he thought.

"Seekers have additional heat shielding than other mechs. That makes us able to survive at extremes of temperature, yes. But only in our vehicle modes. I was half-transformed to be able to grab you."

"So this is somehow my fault?"

"And the human's. I suspect that she, at least, is not enjoying my suffering." He made a strangled sound in his throat. The shakes seemed to be getting worse.

"Oh look," Ironhide said, catching the bobbling flicker of headlamps from down the tunnel. "The happy family reunited."

"Can't express my joy at seeing you again," Barricade muttered, limping along behind Prowl. "What sort of perversion did we walk in on here?"

"You wish," Starscream muttered.

"Yeah, I do. Would be a pleasant change from all this misfortune the Autobots seem to drag in their wake. That only splashes on us."

"Starscream got hit pretty hard by the geyser blast," Nadya explained to Prowl, who was at least pretending to listen. "Ironhide too, but Starscream's engines warmed him up."

Barricade crossed over to the jet. "Me," he announced, so Starscream wouldn't—he hoped—freak out and whack him. He recognized the greyish haze of the freeze from his own joints and legs. But several of the lines seemed to bulge, as if the coolant or liquid in them had gone sludgy hard. He tapped his comm.

"Blackout," the copter acknowledged.

"Go hot," Barricade said. "Got a question or two for Dr Slice and Dice."

"What does that blasted mech want now?" Ratchet's voice came over.

"Hypothetical question: suppose a bot got hit good and hard by that geyser stuff. What would happen?"

A pause. "Thought I explained that to you, Blackout. Figured first thing you'd do is chitchat to your little friend."

"Oh he was going to," Barricade said, resenting the 'little' friend bit, "But he got distracted talking about the hot way your aft moves when you walk."

"Cade," Blackout said, warningly.

"Do not call me that! I hate it when anyone calls me that!" He could hear the suppressed snickers from both sides of the line. "Can we get back on topic? Trying to increase my medical knowledge here."

"As I told your galoot," Ratchet said, "Could be anything from circuit-stalls to, well…let's just say you don't want it to hit the spark chamber."

Barricade swore.

"Everything okay, Cady-pants?" Blackout asked.

"Shut up. Got to do something I already regret. About which you will hopefully never learn." He cut comm. with a sharp snap. "All right," he said, "Fire your engines."

"We have already attempted that." But the jet obediently hit his ignition.

"Don't think you've tried this." He tossed the Neptunium pack down by Nadya and, as they watched, walked under the jet's engines. "This, incidentally," he announced, "sucks." He waited until his heat sinks teetered on shutdown, and came out. "All right, flyboy. Let's see your spark chamber."

"What?!" the jet screeched. "I am a nice bot. I do not do that sort of thing! And not with you! And there is an audience!"

"Shut up, crack your chest. Or I'll do it for you."

The jet slumped back, his engines dying down. As they watched, he slowly retracted his armor and secondary systems, revealing a hexagonally shaped chamber. "This," he said, "is the paramount humiliation. I do not think things can go any lower than this."

"Oh, this is a real treat for me," Barricade snapped. He reached up and lay his heated hands and forearms along the length of the chamber. The jet gasped, and, rocking back, snatched the smaller bot, still burning hot to the touch, to his chest, curling his arms and legs around him.

They sat like that for a long time, the jet curled around the smaller bot, like a child with a stuffed animal. Long enough that Ironhide muttered, "Well, this is awkward."

"Is this how they have sex or something?" Stokes asked.

Nadya glared at him. "How should I know?"

"Will Barricade be okay?"

"Barricade," the bot's voice was muffled against the jet's chest, "Is unfortunately fine. His sincerest prayers of dying so as not to have to live with this moment in his memory have gone unanswered."

The jet pulled away slowly, his armor sliding back into place. He still shivered from time to time, but he no longer looked shocky. "Thank you, Barricade," he said.

"Leave me alone," the Decepticon said, sourly, shaking off the jet's hands. "Didn't want to be stuck alone with these fraggin' morons."

"Hey, wait. That's right!" Stokes said. "Where's Dead End?"


	15. Chapter 15

Surface:

Blackout was left a little perturbed by Barricade's abrupt comm. cut off. Ratchet was watching him curiously.

"Who got hit?"

Blackout looked up at the unexpected question. He found Ratchet looking at him.

"None of your business," he snapped, only after the words had left his processor realizing how stupid it sounded. His concern was making Blackout more than a little irritable. Constant surveillance, these fraggin' Autobots. Copter couldn't get a moment to himself.

Ratchet sighed and without warning placed a sympathetic hand onto Blackout's shoulders, who barely felt the light gesture.

"Barricade seems to have sense, whoever it is I'm sure they'll be fine." He spoke softly. Then the hand was gone. Ratchet had moved back to checking on Prime. Blackout gathered himself for a moment. Curse his concern, he did not want nor need any Autobot sympathies. And maybe he hated to admit it, but hearing it from Ratchet made him feel better. A little surprised that the damn 'bot had a nice thing to say, period. And about Barricade, no less.

Prime was being forced to stay seated by Ratchet, much to the amusement of the ever bouncy yellow 'bot. Blackout rolled his optics at the retarded scene in front of him. This was no way to lead—overruled by your bossy medic, mocked by your mute droneling.

"Ratchet I'm fine, now please just let me stand up." Optimus was frustrated and weary. Ratchet however was fiercely determined to get his own way. They both knew at some level Ratchet was right. Prime was just less happy about it.

"If you don't at least rest for a fraggin' minute I am going to stasis lock you. It's your own damn fault your wound is this bad in the first place."

He was waving one of his tools around animatedly as he spoke. Much to Blackout's discomfort. It was a little better not being pointed at him, but he felt queasy at the thought of seeing another bot—even an Autobot—sliced open in front of him. Prime made one last attempt to get to his feet, finding Ratchet's right hand pressed firmly on his chest, his left held just to the left of his helm. Ratchet was holding a small tool that he'd whipped out of nowhere.

"Just give me a reason, Prime." Ratchet warned calmly.

"Ratchet!" Optimus glared at him, Ratchet did not back down. Prime found himself pushed back down to his aft and there he reluctantly stayed. If Blackout didn't know any better he would have sworn that the Autobot leader was actually sulking.

"Spa day going to be over any time soon, ladies?" They both turned to glower at him. "While I'd love to see that little tool he's got demo'd on you, so I could know how it works when I knock him cold and steal it from him, it seems to me we should have other priorities than Prime's beauty rest?"

They looked shocked.

"What?" Blackout asked. "I'm the bad guy, right? No good without an evil plan."

Ratchet muttered, "You're not supposed to tell anyone your plan, you idiot."

Blackout grinned. "You complaining that I'm actually not a very good bad guy or is this just more of your usual 'shooting down any plan the copter has'?"

Prime sighed, a little relieved that some of Ratchet's attention had been diverted to the Decepticon. "Blackout's got a point. We need a plan."

Ratchet huffed. "I would not recommend using the geysers. Exposure for more than a few seconds would cause irreparable damage. It wouldn't be about having my work cut out for me. It'd be about who reached the surface first and even then I can't guarantee I could save them." He shook his head as he finished. "Optimus, there is only a 5% chance that any of them will survive if my internal calculations based on my scans of the geysers are correct. The humans however, won't stand any chance. I won't be able to save them."

"Awww, that'd be a loss." Blackout said.

"They matter, Blackout," Ratchet retorted.

"To YOU, maybe."

"Yeah, to me. And guess what, 'con? I'm the only one who could—could—help your friends." Blackout blinked in surprise. Was that a threat? The medic would really refuse to treat an injured bot? He sent a silent prayer of thanksgiving up to Primus that his side, at least, had repair bots. Dumb little things, but they couldn't walk past an injured bot without at least trying.

"Could have your ship blast a hole through some of the thinner stuff."

"Cave the whole place in? Good plan." Ratchet huffed again. He was losing patience with this Decepticon. Why hadn't he offlined the 'con's vocal processors when he had the chance?

"Controlled thermal—could melt through the crust."

"Take too long. Plus, sudden change in surface temperature would cause cracking along the surface."

"So?"

Ratchet sighed. "A) we're on the surface. B) cave in. C) could cause even more geysers."

"You know, you could try to be more positive."

"Positive all your 'plans' are going to kill everyone."

"At least I'm making plans! All you're doing is shooting them down. Probably the only damn thing you Autobots can actually shoot down is a fraggin' plan!"

Optimus pushed himself up to a seated position. "Ratchet, he's got a point. All we've done, this whole time, is tear down all of his ideas."

"Because his ideas are stupid!"

Blackout growled.

Prime felt his comm. buzz. He sighed, gesturing with one hand that the two should stop arguing. At least, not right in his audio. He raised his hand to his antennae and placed it on sub voc. _"Go ahead Sideswipe."_

"_Sorry it took a while the tremors kept rearranging the geological outlay of the terrain. I have come up with a surface analysis. I will send it to you now. The red zones are areas where the rock is too hard and will most likely shatter if you try and place a tunnel there…" _

"_Sideswipe it's looking like we can't use the geyser plan." _Optimus cut in before he could continue. _"Frag. I am out of ideas Prime. I'm sorry." _

"_Not your fault Sideswipe, continue to download the scans to my cortex, I'm sure we can make use of them somehow."_

"_Prime there's something else. Soundwave has gone radio silent on me. I don't trust him. I think he's up to something." _

Their conversation continued for some time leaving Optimus looking a little dazed as the reams of information were downloaded into his cortex.

Bumblebee, frustrated, wandered away from the group. It was fun to watch Ratchet pick at the 'con, but Bumblebee was kind of on the copter's side. They needed a plan. They needed to do something. He paced himself down a slight slope and kicked a rock absently in his path. Something caught his eye. Just a quick flash as he'd kicked the rock. Walking slowly to the spot where it had landed, he gently picked up the small rock, which would be a boulder to any human. He fingered it curiously in his hands, staring at it closely. It glinted faintly in the faint light and seemed a much lighter colour than the surface around it. He continued to walk, rolling the rock over in his hands. He picked up another one, similar but this time with more of a gleam to it. Realization hit him like a slap to the face. Almost tripping himself up in his eagerness he sprinted back to the others, clutching the rocks like they were precious human lives.

Blackout was in the middle of a sentence when Bumblebee came dashing into the centre of the group, gesturing and pointing at two lumps of rock in his hand. The others just stared at him in stunned silence. Having finished his conversation, Optimus sighed as the other two continued to stare at the excited Bumblebee. "Bumblebee!" He stopped instantly and gazed expectantly towards his leader.

"Will you tell us what you've found, before Blackout and Ratchet decide to quiet you down permanently."

"Be the only thing I ever collaborate on with this stupid Autobot," Blackout snarled.

He nodded eagerly and pointed once again at the rocks in his hand. He sub voc'd Optimus _'I think it's Neptunium.'_ Optimus took the offered rocks.

"The whole moon is full of it, Bumblebee. That's how we ended up here." Optimus was a little short, the sensor block that Ratchet had given him was starting to wear off, now he just ached, everywhere.

Blackout made a strange noise which almost sounded like a short laugh. "I think the yellow idiot actually just gave us something to make a new plan with." He smirked as he buzzed Barricade.

"Hey, Cade!"

"Don't call m…"

"Yeah, yeah… do you still have those detonators you were going to use on the human ship?"

"Maybe. Who wants to know?"

"Someone who wants to spring your aft from your perpetual, though well-deserved torment."

"Yeah, still got 'em."

The copter crowed.

"Gonna tell me what this genius plan is? Or am I going to have to wait for the DVD?"

"Tell you after you tell me what you didn't want to tell me before."

"Not on your life."

"Aww, come on, Cade! Show me on the dolly where the bad robot touched you."

"One, you call me Cade one more time and I will call you 'Blah' for the rest of your natural cycles; and two, that damn jet is a fraggin' perv."

"One, 'Blah' doesn't even make any fraggin' sense, and two, kinda figured that. Oh, and three? Blackmail."

"One, 'Blah' describes your personality to a T, and three, plausible deniability."

"No two? You're slipping up."

"Side effect of being snuggle-monkey for a fraggin' jet."

At this point Prime had dropped his head into his hands in disbelief at the 'cons conversation. Ratchet and Bumblebee were sniggering much to his irritation. The sensor block having finally worn off completely, he glared at his two subordinates with enough ire to shut them both up.

Ratchet sub voc'd Bumblebee; _'Tell me you're recording this conversation?' _Bumblebee answered with a nod and a suppressed snigger, hiding his mouth behind his hand as Prime shot him a warning look. He sub voc'd Ratchet. _'I am going to ask him, might cheer him up.'_ He shot a mischievous grin to the medic who shook his head sternly. _'Don't Bee in this mood he might actually shoot you.'_ Bumblebee ignored him and sub voc'd Optimus. _'Yes?'_ He snapped sharply as Ratchet rolled his optics. Bumblebee continued barely managing to hide his smirk. _'What's a snuggle-monkey?'_ Optimus cut him off abruptly. His expression was hard, Bumblebee instinctively shifted behind Ratchet who tensed as his leader stood. Much to his surprise he was smirking. Speaking out loud he closed his optics and shook his head. "Bumblebee I'll let Ratchet explain it to you sometime." He opened his optics casting a sly grin at his medic who now glared at him.

"Thank you for that Prime." He grumbled. Optimus looked all together pleased with himself. "No problem Ratchet, no problem at all." Blackout was still on comm. with Barricade continuing their absurd discussion.

"The image that conjures in my processor is better than any blackmail."

Blackout cut him off abruptly and smiled at his unlikely allies. "We now have a plan B. They have a bag of that Neptunium down there don't they? It's purer than those rocks; it's the stuff they mined that they salvaged from the shuttle. We can use it with Barricade's detonators and blow them a way out."

He stopped and folded his arms looking rather smug. Until Ratchet spoke up. "One problem 'con."

"Know what? A little tired of your brand of constructive criticism."

Ratchet frowned. "How are you going to stop the explosion from starting another cave in hmmm?"

"I'm not the demo expert—but neither are you!" Blackout retorted indignantly. "Don't see you coming up with a better plan."

"Blackout, that might work." Optimus interrupted.

"It will?"

"We have the geological maps that Sideswipe has given us detailing the consistency of the rock. We can use that to gauge the right area in which to set up a controlled explosion."

Ratchet sighed. "Oh what is it now?" Blackout cried out in frustration.

"The whole moon is laced with veins of Neptunium. If we aren't careful we could set off a chain reaction that would blow half this moon to the pits and take all of us with it."

Blackout was annoyed at having his plan shot down again. Seems like all the 'bots did was shoot down plans. No wonder they were always on the defensive. "Would you please take a happy pill or offline yourself or something?" He grumbled.

"Ratchet your concerns are noted but I think we have a way around that." Optimus smiled. Bumblebee pointed to the sky. He nodded. "Sideswipe."

Even Blackout managed a smile at the new turn of events. It would be his plan that saved them, Barricade and Starscream would have to thank him. That is if they didn't get blown all to scrap metal. And at this point, he wasn't really sure if he'd mind that.

He rubbed his hands together. "Well I always wanted to go out with a bang."


	16. Chapter 16

Inside:

"Well," Barricade said, snapping off his comm, "Blackout's clearly lost it. Latest plan is to blow us up using the neptunium and detonators."

"I for one second this plan," Starscream said. "This has been the worst solar of my entire onlining. I have been pawed by Autobots; had my cockpit violated by a human; my spark chamber molested by, well, YOU…. The only problem I have with dying just now is that if it had happened earlier, I would have been spared at least some of these indignities."

"You know," Ironhide said, acidly, " you can die alone with your dignity right now if it means that much to you."

"I have none left!" the jet wailed.

Barricade dropped hard on his backside. "Don't look at me. How 'bout our alleged and self-appointed leader?" He shot a hot look at Prowl.

Prowl frowned, but he didn't comment. He needed to lead. Thus far it seemed he'd been letting events dictate. That was not leadership. Prime hadn't given him guidance because he had faith that Prowl would step up and lead. "All right," he said, slowly, "Let's recap. Everyone's—"

"Injured except you." Barricade rubbed his hands down his thighs, where his paint showed heat scoring from standing under the jet's engines.

"I am still blind. Ironhide still has problems walking, even more so. Barricade has fallen into the Slough of Despond—"

"The what?"

"Shut up, Starscream," Barricade said, dully.

"What? I read," Starscream replied, primly. "It is why my vocabulary is more refined than yours." He continued, unfazed. "The humans and Prowl are fine, proving that there is neither justice nor common sense in this world. And Dead End is possibly dead. Though I admit to mixed feelings about this."

"Only damn one of you with a decent attitude and enough sense to keep his mouth shut."

"And who had the map." Stokes cut in.

Prowl said, "So, what do we have to work with? Inventory." Perhaps he'd get an idea—perhaps some of the pieces would come together.

"My one chain gun is functional and at 80% load. Both missile launchers are operational." Prowl had to admit that despite their bad attitude, they were cooperating.

"I have a more or less useless pulse gun," Barricade sighed, playing along, but not happy. "And a quarter cycle of chem igniting detonation cord, which thought makes Blackout dance with aroused glee."

Starscream groaned. "Do not put that image into my head. You know my optics are offline and I cannot substitute reality."

"Is everything perverted to you damn 'cons?" Ironhide said, irritably.

"Whenever possible," Barricade said. "What do you bring to this potluck of doom, honey?"

Ironhide made a face at Barricade. "Pulse cannon, duh. Want a demonstration?"

"Only if I can pick the target. What about you, O estimable Prowl? What do you have on tap other than your perpetual positive outlook?"

"I have a semi – automatic rifle that fires highly corrosive acid pellets and a pair of electrified shuriken. I lost my pulse rifle when we were caught in the cave in."

"We're screwed," Barricade said.

"There you go again with the double-entendres, Barricade. And you know how uncomfortable they make Ironhide. What kind of figure of collaboration are you?" Starscream said.

"Aren't you going to ask us?" Nadya asked.

"You, female, have the Neptunium. That's your contribution—even though I've been the one carrying it. All right, other, smellier human, what do you have?"

"Acetylene torch, crow bar and some rope. I had a screwdriver, but someone took it away from me. With extreme prejudice." He glared at Barricade.

"Human, I swear if we find ourselves in the highly unlikely situation where the door between life and death can only be jammed shut by a fraggin' flat-head screwdriver, that at that point—and ONLY at that point—can you get huffy with me."

"So," Prowl said. "We have a bomb. As Blackout said. And we're sitting in a bomb, if this Neptunium is as explosive as you say." He turned to Nadya. "How explosive is it?"

Nadya shot a grave look at Prowl and sighed. "In its natural form it's riddled with rock and minerals, so it's the equivalent of 100lbs of C4." The mechs all stared at her baffled. Stokes gave her a small nudge. "Um… yeah what she means is one of these rocks could level a small sky scraper."

"And in its mined form?" Prowl asked quietly.

"Well this stuff is used in nuclear reactors for fission. You guys wanted it as an alternative energy source so imagine a small city flattened instead of a building."

"One rock?"

"Yes. If we're going to use it on this planet, we have to use a small amount. We'll need to chip some of the rocks we have. If we ignite any of it near the veins already in the rock, we could set off a chain reaction and end up blowing this moon in half."

"Good job I have a sharp screwdriver then … ah wait… someone lost it." Stokes glared at Barricade who had a sudden urge to peel the skin off the smelly human's body.

"I volunteer Ironhide to test the Neptunium, preferably in a small tunnel. Alone." Starscream said. "It is about time he contributed something useful."

"Ah, the venerable Decepticon volunteering system," Barricade said.

"I would volunteer myself, of course," the jet said, feigning innocence, "only I cannot see to ignite the detonation cord. So a good leader, in these instances," he said, an obvious dig at Prowl, "delegates."

"We're not going to send anyone to their death, Starscream," Prowl said, flatly. Stokes snickered at the jet's crestfallen expression.

"But what about Dead End?" Stokes asked, again. A little surprised that no one seemed to care about the other 'con.

"Oh, very well," Starscream sighed. "Barricade?"

"Do I have to? Fine." He reached to adjust a small node under one of his four eyes. The eye took on a whitish glow for a moment. He snapped it off. "Offline. Back that way."

"How—what did you just do?" Stokes looked fascinated. He rubbed his hands together, wishing he had his screwdriver. And a way up the 'con without being noticed.

"In my glamorous previous life I was a combat controller. HUD of any mission in the area." Barricade looked thoughtful, looking up at the ceiling. He tapped his CC monitor back on. He grunted, shut it off. "No such luck," he muttered.

"Any read at all?" Starscream asked.

"Just a vague directional They're thatta-way." He gestured broadly with one hand. He sighed. "Well, leader, do we go back and get Dead End?"


	17. Chapter 17

Inside:

Prowl gave Barricade a dark look before turning to Stokes.

"We shall search for Dead End. Barricade, I need you to contact the surface, we're going to need access to their maps."

"Flowers and chocolates after this," Barricade griped. "Tired of being used as your damn walkie." Really didn't need to volleyball between Prime and Prowl right now. His head was starting to hurt. He hated CC and all the bad memories. "Care to explain your plan?"

"I will when I am certain the plan is viable." Glancing at Ironhide, Prowl frowned slightly.

"I am going to leave you alone with the 'cons. I expect them to be here in one piece when I return."

"Oh, delightful!" Starscream exclaimed. "Shall we be left with the disgusting humans as well?"

Barricade sniggered lightly. "Hope you're not expecting him to be in one piece." Prowl turned on Barricade who was slightly surprised as to how fast the tactician suddenly ended up in his face.

"If you so much as twitch a threat in his direction 'Cade," Barricade twitched at the nickname, his optics flashing dangerously, "then I am going to restrain you to the ground and let Nadya loose on your wiring with her trusty crowbar and acetylene torch."

Starscream snorted as he tried to stifle his amusement. "What if I threaten him, Prowl? Will that also punish Barricade?"

"You?" Ironhide scoffed. "With your aim, you barely pose a threat to the ceiling."

Barricade stared at the larger mech crouched in front of him. "You wouldn't dare," he growled. To his astonishment an evil smile broke across Prowl's features, he leaned in closely forcing Barricade to draw back.

"Just try me." He replied quietly. Standing, Prowl offered his hand to Stokes who climbed up. "Now I am trusting you all not to kill each other." He made his way back into the collapsed tunnel. Ironhide glanced at Barricade.

"Well, you wanted him to be more leader like." He smirked. Barricade glared at him.

"Oh yeah, so this is all my fault? Blame everything on the 'con. Seems that's how we started ourselves a war." Barricade rolled his optics. "He is overestimating his position greatly. Trying to restrain me would prove unwise."

Ironhide shrugged absently. "Prowl is a tactician, Barricade; he will have already figured out a hundred ways of putting you on the floor and keeping you there without too much effort."

"Yes, well, with Barricade, that is not difficult," Starscream said, folding his hands virtuously on his lap. "Once you have him down, he is…considerably acquiescent."

"Oh, you're a fine one to talk," Barricade snapped.

Barricade turned back to Ironhide. "It's amazing you Autobots haven't won the war already then," he retorted much to Ironhide's amusement.

"Told you he doesn't like getting close to other mechs." He paused flashing a grin in Starscream's direction. "Well, apart from Starscream." Even Barricade lightened up at the Autobot's joke as Starscream shifted uncomfortably.

"I resent the insinuation, Autobot. Though I admit that I am…alluring."

"Well, I wouldn't get too cozy you might make him fall for you, literally." Ironhide chuckled to himself as Prowl returned to the cave clutching Dead End's head under his arm.

"Ironhide, I do believe that my personal preferences are not open for discussion."

Ironhide straightened his face and proceeded to look preoccupied in his injuries.

"Great. We have the runt's head. So, genius, do you have a plan for getting the maps out of it?"

Prowl turned to Barricade. "Yes I do actually."

"Oh please enlighten us wise leader." Barricade goaded, his voice monotone, folding his arms across his chest.

Prowl glared at him, his patience fading. "I can download the maps into my cortex."

"Why should it be you in charge of our only means of escape?" Starscream questioned agitatedly.

Prowl sighed. "We do not have time to debate the eligibility right now. Our primary concern should be finding a way out of here."

Barricade stood, drawing closer to Prowl who visibly tensed as he approached.

"So you finally found your leader wings?"

"Barricade, we don't have time for this." Prowl insisted indignantly. Barricade reached for Dead End's head, causing Prowl to step back sharply in surprise, slipping slightly on the smooth rock.

"Oh come now, cupcake, don't be shy," Barricade drawled as he snatched the head from Prowl's grasp. Ironhide's cannon could be heard arming behind them. The cave was thick with silent tension. Prowl glared at Barricade, clenching and unclenching his fists by his sides.

"Tell you henchmoron to cool his cannons. You want the maps, you need access to Useless's cortex. You don't think we don't walk around with bombs in our heads for just such contingencies?" Stokes paled. "Unless you've got some magic head-wiring skills, and know the Decepticon disarm codes, how 'bout you let me make sure you don't fry your own fraggin' cortex?" Barricade stopped. "What the hell am I saying? Should let you fry yourself, 'xcept your hired muscle would find some way to blame me."

"Like that it would be your fault?" Ironhide retorted.

Prowl shot Ironhide a stern look. Barricade circled around to the rear of the taller 'bot, reaching up he pressed on an access panel at the base of Prowl's helm. Prowl jolted in surprise at the touch.

"This would go a lot quicker if you hold still and sat your pretty aft down."

"Are you downloading maps or trying to initiate a spark bond, Barricade?" Starscream enquired lightly.

"Thought you'd already claimed him for yourself." Barricade muttered as he opened an access panel on Dead End's head, pinned between his arm and his thigh.

"Ah yes, but I know how jealous you are of my conquests. I suspect you might try to steal one away from me one of these days."

Ironhide couldn't help but be amused by the baffled and uncomfortable expression crossing Prowl's face.

"Looks like you're hot property, Prowl," he quipped.

"Rowr," Barricade said, dryly, working at Dead End's processor. "Gonna fight me for him, hot 'bot?"

Ironhide laughed. "Pulse cannon versus…what?"

"Rapier wit."

"I've got better range," Ironhide retorted.

"Maybe I'll just have to pine after the both of you, then." Barricade cursed as he dropped Dead End's head.

Prowl's logic processors struggled to grasp the extent of innuendo and flirtatious behaviour at such an inappropriate time. Barricade's voice drawled behind him.

"Meanwhile, you can either sit down or bend over, baby doll; you're a little tall for my reach."

Prowl's processors could take no more, his optics dilated rapidly and he fell forward landing with a crash. Ironhide winced as his head hit the rock with a clang. Barricade was left in his wake, stunned. Starscream shrieked at the noise his arms reaching out instinctively. Barricade opened his arms, showing his palms. "Didn't touch him, I swear!"

"What the…?" Nadya exclaimed in utter disbelief. Ironhide chuckled. "Saw that coming." Barricade looked at Ironhide who proceeded to roll his optics. Barricade was a little surprised Mr. Hair Trigger hadn't tried to blow his processor out already. "Prowl's logic center sometimes shorts out if he's presented with a very illogical situation. Flirting with him in our current predicament completely threw him; he's all business when on duty."

"Really?" Barricade answered remembering to note that little piece of information for use at a later date. The positive power of perviness. Who knew? Oh well, back to business. At least the mech wouldn't fight him this time. Or pontificate. Frag, he hated a wordy leader.

He knelt beside the unconscious Prowl, plugging in a small wire linking Prowl's head to Dead End's. His fingers drummed idly on the 'con's head while he waited. Once the maps were uploaded, he disconnected the wires, and bowled Dead End's head back down the darkness of the tunnel. "A great loss, Dead End," he said, sarcastically, to the shock of the humans.

"He will be remembered, barely," Starscream added, "and not for very much." The two astronauts exchanged looks—these 'cons were cold.

Gently closing Prowl's access hatch, Barricade hit the tactician's reset button. Groaning Prowl sat up.

"Mornin', sunshine." Barricade said, brightly. "How's the extra smarts?"

Prowl frowned as he came to grips with the increase of information in his head. His voice cracked a little as he spoke. "Barricade, contact the surface, we're going to need their help."

Barricade's smile faded. "Yeah, you're welcome."

"Um… we have another problem." They both turned to look at Ironhide, their optics falling on the limp form of Nadya in his palm.

"What is going on?" Starscream demanded, unable to remain quiet any longer. "This is tedious. Why will no one explain anything to me?"

"The Autobot killed the female," Barricade sounded surprised.

"I did not kill her, she passed out."

Barricade cast a side long look at Prowl. "Quite the trend-setter, Prowl? Have to say not that fond of it. Unless, of course, you're swooning after me." Ironhide shot him a warning look. Just got Prowl back online. Probably not good to send him back over again.

Stokes was beside Nadya. "She has a micro leak in her suit. She's running low on oxygen, I need to patch it up, I think I have a spare kit but I need to get her out of the suit." He looked earnestly at Prowl who thought quickly.

"Some of our alt modes can be made airtight; we can cycle oxygen through the thin atmosphere."

"Well someone transform then!" Stokes demanded urgently.

"I have already been violated enough for one day," Starscream mumbled quietly. "Plus it would be difficult to raise her to the cockpit." In a smaller voice, he added, "Plus, you did not say please." Ironhide was injured, Prowl, frustrated, turned to Stokes and was about to transform when Barricade spoke up behind him. "Fine, but if she starts messing up the interior, she gets to suffocate."

They all stared at the now cop car in amazement. "Barricade I can do…."

He was cut off as the door swung open. "Don't have all day, human." He kicked on his cycler. "What? Let Starscream have all the right to complain? And who knows what's going to make Prowl klonk out again. Better be someone who has a proven track record of consciousness."

"Not sanity, however," Starscream added. "And you are such a novice at complaining that it is sometimes embarrassing to listen to you."

Stokes moved quickly, he carried Nadya after lifting her out of the suit, and gently placed her on Barricade's backseat. He swiftly set to work on repairs. The car door slammed shut. Barricade sealed the interior and vented in air and heat to compensate for the near vacuum. He could feel Nadya stirring as she started to come round. He growled uncomfortably.

"She'll be fine." Prowl rested a hand on his hood in a silent gesture of thanks. "Could you contact the surface, Barricade?"

"Great a taxi and a radio. Anything else you'd like me to do, huh? Hot breakfast? Swedish massage?"

"Blow us a way out of here," Ironhide said.

"Don't think I wouldn't if I could," Barricade sighed.


	18. Chapter 18

Ark:

Sideswipe was busy analyzing the geological telemetry, when the ship's comm. buzzed.

"Prime?"

"No." Came the eerie one tone voice. "I require an update."

"Soundwave thought you'd headed home for a minute there."

"Home is Cybertron that is impossible. There will be approximately three more geysers at the surface team's last known location."

"Thanks for the head's up." Sideswipe replied suspiciously. Soundwave was being uncharacteristically forthcoming. The monotonous rumble interrupted his thought processes.

"Progress of the teams on the surface?" He prompted.

****

Unbeknownst to Sideswipe currently distracted by Soundwave, Rumble had managed to slip past the ship's sensors. He crawled deftly up the side of the ship, scanning. He found the panel he was looking for. Prying it off, his hand transformed into a singular spike which he plunged into the access panel. Closing his optics briefly he released the hatch and pushed away from the ship.

"Soundwave nanovirus has been planted."

"Acknowledged." Soundwave replied curtly.

"You're welcome." Rumble muttered as he glided back to his protector swiftly.

The ship behind him began to flicker and groan.

Sideswipe worked the controls frantically. The consoles flickered and blinked at him before going dark. He slammed a fist on the glass in frustration. Lifting his head he listened to the faint hum of the engines stutter and the stop. His capacitor plummeted in his chest.

"Oh frag." He swore under his breath.

****

Surface:

"You know, copter's getting a little tired of the sub voc," Blackout said. "Don't do it in front of you guys. And don't give me that old 'it's your fault that Megatron ripped out his voice box' thing. Doesn't explain the rest of you."

Bumblebee buzzed Ratchet. _Now he worries about fair?_ Ratchet shook his head. "'Con, this isn't a conspiracy. We're not planning how to offline you." He smiled, tartly. "Could have done that already if I'd wanted to."

Blackout's hands balled into fists. "Comforting thought." Before he could formulate a reply, Barricade hit his comm. He sighed. "Blackout," he acknowledged. "Tell me something good."

"Good? All right. Found an…interesting way to knock Prowl out of action."

"Yeah?" The surface Autobots exchanged nervous looks—had they done something to Prowl?

"Flirt with him," Barricade said.

"Uh, no thanks," Blackout retorted. "Not my type. You know I don't go for grounders."

"Ahem," Barricade said, pointedly. "Anyway, knocked him right on his faceplate."

"Power of your manly charms," Blackout speculated.

"That was your excuse. Apparently, he freezes up when things get too illogical."

The copter snorted. "He'd never last five cycles as a Decepticon."

"Imagine him trying to stay operational during one of Megatron's staff meetings?"

"Huh. Only way I stay online is by contemplating how to kill everyone else with what I've got in my storage compartments."

"Kill me at any time—mercy killing," Barricade said. "Still, he starts pissing me off again, I'm going to see what happens if I tongue kiss him—ow!" they heard a sharp clang.

"Sounds like someone wanted to keep the romance a secret, Barricade."

"Why do you not tell Blackout your other secret, Barricade?" Starscream's voice cut over. Blackout blinked. Normally Barricade kept his comm. quiet. Still, the prospect of watching Prowl squirm while he gabbed about him was probably too enticing. Barricade did have a weird sense of humor.

Barricade sighed. "Only did this because I was tired of you doing all the complaining."

"No one believes that," the jet replied, tartly. "I suspect this is a new kink that you are developing."

"This I gotta hear." Blackout grinned broadly, ignoring the Autobots' shocked looks. Damned things got shocked so easily it was easy to ignore.

"Naked xeno in my backseat," Barricade said, proudly. A strange, tinny voice, "She's not naked!" Prime recognized the voice as the male astronaut's.

"Close enough. Warm and squishy."

"You," Blackout said, impressed, "are a font of perversions. I can barely keep up."

"Truer words never spoken. However, experience marred by the fact that apparently opportunities for personal hygiene for these critters limited in space."

"You know," they heard a faint female voice, "I'm right here."

"Indeed I do, carrion-breath," Barricade said. "Ought to make you tongue-kiss Prowl, if it comes down to it."

Prime sighed. "Barricade, is there a point to this call?"

"Dunno. Just following orders like a good little Autobot. Ask Prowlimus Prime here—whoa!" Barricade's voice continued, muffled. "Okay, you? Stop moving like that."

Blackout started giggling. Bumblebee was…vaguely disturbed. Nothing that big and that evil-looking should giggle. Ever. "Barricade, you've had passengers before, haven't you?"

"No, actually. And not naked ones. Naked squirmy ones."

"She's NOT naked!!" Stokes sounded horrified, regretting he'd let himself get talked into this. If Nadya were in Prowl, instead….

"Naked enough. Anyway. Seriously, you, stop moving. No, you can breathe. I guess. No sense wasting all this good atmosphere I'm making for you. So, Prime, how's tricks on the surface?"

Silence.

"What, Blackout—did I shock them into passing out, too? I am a weapon of mass destruction."

"No," Blackout said. "They're sub vocing. Again. Do it all the time. Really creepy and REALLY FRAGGIN' RUDE!"

Prime snapped off his comm. "Blackout, I was in contact with my ship." He frowned, darkly. "Before we got cut off, Sideswipe informed me we have more temblors on the way."

"Cut off? What do you mean cut off?" Ironhide's voice. Another clang, and a muffled curse from Barricade.

"Don't hit me, you glitch. I had nothing to do with it," the 'con muttered.

"I suspected something like this," Prowl said. "You said Soundwave was being helpful. Too helpful, wasn't he? He probably used the open comm. lines to break through firewalls."

"And you mention this…now?" Ratchet said, hotly.

"Face it, Autobot," Barricade said. "You Eloi haven't exactly been comm'ing us to chat. More like making sure we Morlocks haven't offlined your guys."

"Elois?" someone said.

"He is merely trying to prove that I am not the only one who reads," Starscream said. "It is petty of him, no?"

"He is right, if…odd about it. You haven't exactly been consulting with us, Optimus." Prowl sounded unhappy. Hard to tell if he were unhappy he was agreeing with the Decepticon or unhappy with Prime.

"Yes," Prime said, distractedly. He was worrying about Sideswipe and the others above. "Prowl, more geysers are coming."

"You see?" Barricade said. "This is why I don't like calling the surface. Never any good news."

"Get to talk to me," Blackout said, petulant. "Gets lonely up here without reasonable conversation."

"Which is no doubt why you tried too hard to join us way back when you almost crushed us with that cave in. Really great idea, slagging the lot of us."

"Least I'd be with you guys," the copter muttered, frowning. Ratchet looked over at him. The damn 'con was actually lonely. Who knew the stupid things could even make friends?

"Correction," Starscream offered. "You would be with us and these nauseating Autobots."

"And the humans. Starscream loves humans. Even let one of them fly him. OUCH!" Barricade swore. "Dammit, Starscream, that really fraggin' hurt. I do have this human in here I'm trying to keep alive, you know."

"I'm in shock he actually hit anything." Ironhide, laughing. "Stumbling around like that."

"At least I can stumble, you filthy Autobot. I suppose when we get moving to avoid this latest batch of geysers, I shall have to carry your poorly-balanced aft again."

"Should have known Ironhide would join in with all this fraggin' banter, probably told them about Prowl's glitching battle computer." Ratchet grumbled.

"Hey I heard that and I'll have you know the 'cons decided to flirt with Prowl all by themselves. It's got nothing to do with me that they find him so damn irresistible… Ow…" Ironhide chuckled as another clang was heard through the comm.

"Ironhide!" Prowl snapped.

"I believe someone is becoming flustered." Starscream added with enjoyment. "Is he more cute when he is flustered?"

Optimus was failing to hide his amusement at the situation and chose instead to change the subject. "Prowl you really should get your battle computer fixed."

Prowl could be heard mumbling something impolite in the background, resulting in another chuckle this time from Barricade.

Optimus sighed deciding to ignore them. "Could we all just focus on the problem at hand, the geysers are imminent."

"Speaking of geysers and where the frag we are: change of map reader. The intrepid and very, very sexy Prowl now has the maps."

"Runt's dead?" Blackout asked.

"Dead and decapitated. Lovely human custom, apparently."

"Lasted longer than I thought. Who did the honors?"

"Stupid geyser, I guess."

"Lame enough way to go. I'm happy with that for him."

"Eh, would be better if he were set on fire and squealing at some point, but, can't have everything, I guess."

Prime interrupted. "We need your location."

"Judging by the vague directional we got from Barricade's HUD I can work out roughly where you are using our maps. I estimate that we are approximately 7 clicks North, North West of your current location."

"Can you narrow down the area any Prowl?" Optimus replied, fully aware of the clipped and terse response from his SIC. Prowl was clearly not happy with him, it would have to be something he dealt with later.

"I would need additional readings from where we are now. Barricade?"

"No way." Barricade said, flatly. "Not doing that again. Did it once. Wasn't helpful."

"CC?" Blackout asked, sympathetically. The other 'con merely grunted.

The surface Autobots looked at Blackout, confused. Blackout muted his voice. "Barricade used to do Combat Control. Ugly job. Drives most mechs insane."

"That explains a lot," Ratchet said.

"I can tell you're talking about me," Barricade muttered. "Stop it. It's tacky."

"Just explaining why you're—"

"Stop telling the fraggin' enemy secrets, you moron."

"Not really a secret," Blackout countered. "Everyone knows, just like everyone knows about that time you—"

"Shut up. Now. I am not speaking to you again." All the humor gone from Barricade's voice. He cut the comm.

Blackout hung his head.

Ratchet raised his brow in surprise at the sudden turn in conversation. Even Bumblebee went quiet and looked contrite. Blackout didn't notice Optimus approach him. Resisting the urge to place a comforting hand on the 'cons shoulder he lowered his voice. "I am sure it'll be alright. Probably just bad memories that he's sensitive about." He said, rolling his optics and mentally kicking himself for not being able to come up with a better response.

Blackout shrugged. "Don't fraggin' care anyway…" He grumbled quietly, his voice trailing off as his foot dug absently in the dirt.


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N: These sections are completely courtesy of Optimus Bob, who is currently without a computer. I am sad. But, whoa buddy, plot ahoy!! Enjoy! _

Ark:

Sideswipe blinked his optics as he looked around the Ark, one by one all the lights flickered and went out. Cursing his luck, he tried in vain to communicate with the ship.

"Teletraan 1 speak to me come on, tell me what's happening." He jumped back as the main console sputtered and sparked in front of him. The ship groaned and creaked the entire frame shuddered as Sideswipe felt the pull of gravity from the moon below him. The entire bridge was plunged into darkness. Uttering a string of vile curses in Cybertronian, Sideswipe switched on his headlights. Feeling his way across the blackened consoles he ducked beneath one and started tugging at different wires. Pulling one free, he winced as the electricity sparked around him. Bypassing the computer's central processor he ripped open a separate panel and stripped down another wire.

"Here goes nothing." His voice sounded strangely loud in the dark empty bridge. Static filled his audios.

"Prime, Optimus are you there? Can you read me?" The static got louder, "Frag it!" He punched the panel repeatedly until it whined. The static changed to a loud burst before clearing.

"Optimus can you read me… please say you're getting this…"

****

Surface:

Blackout looked up sharply as all three Autobots suddenly cried out and clutched their helm. His optics widened as a loud burst of static infiltrated all their comm. systems.

"Come in… oh for Primus's sake, tell me you read me?!"

Sideswipe's voice sounded unsettled and quite frustrated through the comm.

"Sideswipe… what the frag are you playing at?" Ratchet shouted over the static, all three recovering from the assault on their audios.

"…Computer's down… completely out. I have no idea what's going on. All power is out on the ship. It was working fine then nothing. Even the engines have cut out."

"How is this possible?" Optimus was frowning with worry. Ratchet looked completely nonplussed.

"Not a fraggin' clue!" Sideswipe swore irritably. "All I know is that if I can't get engines back online, I am going to be joining you guys down there as a fiery ball of slag."

Optimus looked to Ratchet. "Any ideas how he can get power back online?"

Ratchet drummed his fingers absently on his forearm as he thought.

"Back up generator. It's like a circuit breaker for Teletraan 1. Shuts everything down and then reboots when you hit the master reset. Sends Teletraan's memory banks to the pits until whatever the glitch is, is cleaned out, but allows direct link to the ship and allows it to run a self diagnostic. It should give limited power, at least to maneuver the ship to a higher orbit."

"It should?"

"Can't promise anything Prime. It's never been done before. It's a failsafe."

"Did you copy that Sideswipe?"

"Got it, where is the reset located?"

"Lower hold of the ship, toward the rear. Near the main engine room." Ratchet answered swiftly.

"Alright. I'll be in touch. If not just keep your eyes peeled for a bright light in the sky. I'll make sure to wave." Sideswipe finished bitterly. Not liking his odds.

The comm. cut off abruptly. Optimus's frowned deepened. "What could cause a ship wide system shutdown Ratchet?"

"Circuit failure is always possible if ship isn't properly maintained. The other possibility is a virus of some kind uploaded into the central processor; don't ask me where he could have picked that up from out here."

"Alright. Well there's nothing we can do to help at the moment, let's focus on getting our friends back on the surface. Sideswipe thinks on his feet I am certain he'll pull through this." Optimus stated reassuringly, determined to focus on something they could actually deal with. If only his own doubts weren't playing havoc with his concentration.

Blackout had listened quietly. He was tense. Glancing up to the sky as if trying to sense him, his optics narrowed. 'What is that fragger up to now…?' He had a bad feeling that Soundwave was behind this somehow, which would mean he was under orders. He lowered his head and cursed under his breath. This wasn't good, not good at all.

****

Ark:

Sideswipe struggled to make his way around the bridge. His headlights only illuminated so far and he hadn't spent as much time on this ship as the others had. Palming his hands along the bulkhead he found the exit and started making his way to the lower levels of the ship.

A small panel slid open and a small pair of red optics blinked at the retreating 'bot. It chuckled softly before scuttling in the opposite direction.

Sideswipe hated this. Muttering to himself in annoyance, he had to admit to being ever so slightly unnerved. More than once he'd stumbled into a wall, at an unexpected corner. Surely the ship wasn't this big! Maybe the darkness just made it seem that way. Nervously he kept glancing over his shoulder. His capacitor cycled up each time. Unsheathing his sword he tensed, he could have sworn he'd heard something behind him.

He'd never put much stock in human sayings before now but one jumped straight to mind. He had an eerie sensation he was being watched. Backing off into the wall, he took deep intakes of air and began to jog towards his destination. Deciding the quick way was the best option. Ratchet was going to kill him for this. Reaching an elevator shaft he pried open the doors. There were no cables all their elevators ran on magnets. Stabbing his sword into the wall of the shaft he swung his legs out and let go of the door using his weight to propel him towards the lower levels. Sparks flew off his sword as it gouged a deep rivet into the ship's bulkhead. Yup if he survived this he was definitely going to be stasis locked by Ratchet.

Landing unsteadily in the darkness. He pried open the lower doors. Glancing up the tall shaft, he could have sworn he saw the shadow of movement. Shaking his head at his own paranoia. He carried on.

"Get a grip on yourself you glitch. You're acting like a damn youngling." He scolded himself loudly. It did not stop him from breaking out into a run. Slamming into the bulkhead he came to a stop before turning sharply to his left. There it was blinking at him at the end of the corridor. He smiled thankful. At that moment the ship jerked forward as it hit the upper thin atmosphere of the moon. Swearing loudly as he skidded on his front. He clambered to his feet and pelted towards the small console.

"Ok reboot, shut down… where's the fraggin' shutdown? He punched the most likely buttons, to his relief the console beeped and blinked up a green light. He hit the button. Nothing. He hit it again. Still nothing.

"Ratchet… you glitch… what am I sup…" He was cut off as the engines thrummed into life.

"Yes!" He shouted swinging round. Only to be sent flying backwards over the console with a yelp. Landing on his back, he winced. His face throbbed. Coming to his senses as the emergency lighting flickered into being, he blinked as he focused on the shadow looming over him.

He saw a narrow red visor staring down at him. His own optics widened with growing dread.

"Nooo!!!" He cried out as his arms reached out to defend himself. Then fell silent.


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N If you liked last update and the first section of this update, I encourage you to check out Optimus Bob's other stories, too! She's just started a Shattered Glass universe fic called "Perdition" so hop on board! _

The Ark:

"Have you got him?"

"Affirmative."

"Good need to get back up here. Or we're going to be comet fragments real soon." Rumble scuttled across the consoles agitated.

"Have you purged the nanovirus?"

"Getting the last of it now? What are you going to do now?"

"We await Megatron's orders. I will be there shortly." Soundwave's flat reply sounded through the now humming bridge's consoles. "I am bringing the prisoner. He will be needed to override the ship's codes."

"Can't you know just suck it out of his brain or something?"

Rumble almost heard his master sigh. "We need him to remain functioning. Will need him for negotiations with Prime."

"Ah…" Rumble smiled. "Thought we were waiting for Megatron's orders."

A slight pause. "His order is illogical and an inefficient use of newly acquired resources. I will endeavor to retrieve the Decepticons on the moon before I destroy it and the Autobots."

Rumble grinned. "Understood." He said simply as the comm. fell silent. Knowing full well that Soundwave had no intention of abandoning the Decepticons on the surface no matter what they thought of him and no matter what Megatron had ordered him to do. Everything had gone according to plan. Now they just had to fool Prime a little longer to get the others back on the surface and blowing it to the pits.

****

Inside:

"Barricade," Starscream said, his voice on the thin edge of reasonable, "Blackout did not intend to hurt your feelings."

"DIDN'T 'hurt my feelings'," the 'con snarled. "Fraggin' copter's a walking security risk. Who knows what he's blabbed to them."

"I think it's sweet," snickered Ironhide, "Little lover's quarrel."

A long silence. "If I didn't have this fraggin' human in me.…"

"That's your excuse," Ironhide retorted.

"None of this is helping," Prowl intervened. "Am I the only one who still wants to get us out of here?"

"Count me in," Stokes said, straightening up from where he'd finished repairing Nadya's suit.

"Count me out," Barricade snapped. "If that moron's up there, I'm just fine down here."

"Barricade, now you are being silly."

"Shut up, Starscream. Not like you've had anything to offer to getting us out yourself."

The jet sighed. "I have a possible solution, if the matter is locating ourselves relative to the others." They all turned to look at him—they'd become so accustomed to the jet's whining that this sounded…odd.

"Care to enlighten us Starscream?" Prowl folded his arms across his chest patiently waiting for the jet to continue.

"The surface reported that we can expect more geysers. While my optics are offline, my targeting, and most of my flight calculation overlays are operational. During my…unfortunate intimacy with the geyser, I noticed that my flight calc ion displays signaled before the actual eruption, and were disturbed by the geyser itself. When a geyser next erupts, I will try to reach it with my targeting grid, which will give vector and range. From that, the surface team can do the same and triangulate our positions."

"Primus, Starscream," Barricade complained. "Even when you're being helpful you're longwinded. Like you love the sound of your vocalizer."

"I am attached to this timbre," the jet admitted.

"Can they do that?" Stokes asked. "The surface team?" The math involved would be…fun.

"Blackout can," Starscream said. "His flight calc is, obviously, not as advanced as mine, but he requires many of the same systems."

"Blackout'll find a way to frag this up, you just watch," Barricade muttered. "And isn't that mentally-deficient human finished with the female's repairs? Getting a cramp in my drivetrain." Stokes approached with the suit. "Thank Primus!" Barricade said. He snarled and bumped uncomfortably as Nadya struggled to get dressed in the cramped confines of his backseat. As soon as she had sealed the respirator, he pushed back, dumping her on the floor. He rolled his joints, his atmospheric cycler spinning down.

Nadya brushed herself off as she stood. "Wow… when he gets pissy he really gets pissy doesn't he?" She muttered to Stokes, who nodded in quiet agreement. "Thought for a while there, though he was really getting into you," he whispered. She shot him a dirty look.

Prowl tapped his chin with one finger. "It could work. We'd know where they were, they'd know where we were, and we could work on a location to blow ourselves out of here."

"We shall test that theory immediately," Starscream said, unlocking his joints and rising to his feet. "Another geyser is coming."

Nobody else felt anything for a long moment. Prowl felt the floor begin to vibrate, faintly. "Do you need help?"

"No, disgusting Autobot, you would only foul my targeting system." Well, helpful didn't necessarily mean pleasant. The jet shifted his operational hand to its missile launcher and aimed it at what looked like a wall. "This weapon has a longer range that requires greater-accuracy calculations," he explained. "Please make sure Ironhide does not overreact." They heard a distant crack. "It is some ways away," the jet commented. "We are in no immediate danger." Then, "I have the information."

"Barricade, please contact the surface?"

"Slag yourself," the 'con replied.

Prowl looked…aggrieved. He'd even said 'please.' What more did these entirely irrational Decepticons want? "Barricade, we have information they can use to find us. Contact the surface."

"Contact them your-fraggin'-self. Not talking to that retarded copter again."

Prowl felt a flash of irritation: finally they had something useful to share with the surface. And the 'con was holding some grudge.

"Barricade," Starscream said, "Contact them, please."

"Not the copter."

"Someone else, then. Though I do not imagine any of the Autobots are a conversational improvement."

Ironhide scoffed, "You think we're going to give up a freq to you?"

Barricade glared at him. "One, payback for your friends hijacking Blackout's when he was down—though that was his own stupid fraggin' fault; and two, yeah, I think you will."

"Make me."

Barricade grinned. "So hoping you'd say that." He lunged at Ironhide, closing his hands around the larger mech's face. Two of his eyes glittered white. Ironhide stiffened, at first from surprise, but then from something else. He made a strange choking noise.

Barricade released his grip on Ironhide's head.

Ironhide shook his head, as if he'd just walked through cobwebs. "You do that again and I'll kill you."

"Think you won't," Barricade said. "Remember, need my comm."

Stokes asked Prowl, "What just happened?"

Prowl was disturbed. He didn't know, either. And he didn't like not knowing.

"As a combat controller, Barricade had access to systems of mechs on his teams," Starscream explained.

"Starscream," the 'con warned.

"But that means…?" Stokes was struggling to put the pieces together. "Barricade controlled Ironhide?"

"Demonic possession," Barricade snapped. "Just go with that."

"It is…reasonably accurate," Starscream said, his tone a little sad.

"Now, who's on for a surface chat?"


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N By crikey-ay! Forgot to update this week!? I suck! This section is mostly Optimus Bob's awesome plotting!_

Optimus jerked upright at the voice in his comm. Bad enough the latest geyser erupted less than a mile from their position, pelting them with frozen chunks and small stones. Who was it? Bumblebee? Sideswipe? He wished he knew what was going on, on the Ark. Sideswipe was competent, but…Optimus hated not knowing. "Yes," he acknowledged.

"Awwww, is that your reaction when someone comes to whisper sweet nothings in your audio?" Barricade's voice.

"Barricade? How—why? Why aren't you talking to Blackout?"

"Got it in one: I am not talking to that moron copter. Can see why they made you the leader."

"I gathered that. He didn't mean to--"

"To business: here's our distance and vector from the currently erupting geyser." He recited a string of numbers. "Triangulate from there." A pause. "Surely one of you can do that."

Prime looked over to where Blackout stood. Overhearing the entire conversation.

"Barricade, I'm sor—"

"Shut up, copter. Get the fraggin' range and triangulate. And keep your fraggin' mouth shut other than that."

Optimus could swear he saw Blackout's lip quiver. "Okay," the copter mumbled.

"Got us?"

"Yeah," the copter said, glumly. "Have a rough cone vector. Distance and elevation, no."

"Great," Barricade said, impatiently, "Comm us when you're finally fraggin' useful!"

"Barricade, listen. I'm really sorry—"

"You sure fraggin' are." Barricade cut comm. Blackout looked stricken. He dropped to the ground with such force Ratchet thought he had collapsed again. Bumblebee sidled up to him, whining sympathetically. The copter gave a half-hearted shrug. "Get off me."

"He'll get over it," Optimus said, gently.

The copter shook his head. "You don't know him." He looked at them. "What? We can get closer and try again. Can we get this over with?" He pulled one of his rotor blades over his shoulder, petting it nervously. It looked…sad.

Optimus looked at the sky, as if he could see the Ark. Even if he could, not like he could do anything to help them. Still, Sideswipe had given him the surveys.

"Worried about up there?" Ratchet said.

"Of course."

"No point," Blackout muttered. "Really. Likely we'll blast 'em out just in time for Soundwave to bring the damn ship down on all of us." The Autobots looked at him, surprised. "How he works. He's hijacked the ship with a nanovi. Your guys up there? Toast. And we get to be the jelly." He blinked, shocked. "Oh no, I'm doing it again!" He buried his face between his knees. "Talking too much," he muttered. "Don't learn. Stupid, stupid copter."

Bumblebee looked stricken at the mumblings of the large 'con who not so long ago had tried to offline him with what certainly seemed to be fierce loathing and determination. He glanced up at Optimus and Ratchet who could do nothing but stare at the emotional outburst in confusion. Neither one sure of what to do next. Autobots didn't have these kinds of emotional…outbursts. What to do? Wait it out or speak to him? Bumblebee frowned. This was not good for anyone least of all Blackout. He walked over to the curled up 'copter, his head still between his knees.

Much to Blackout's surprise, he felt two small hands gently lift his shoulders, pushing the rotor back over his shoulder. Too stunned to speak to the yellow 'bot now crouched in front of him, he stared his mouth open mid mumble. Bumblebee threw him a comforting smile and stood gently coaxing Blackout to his feet; he stood up obediently, his confidence shattered. Didn't need this from the slaggin' 'bots. Had enough problems of his own, without their damn pity.

Bumblebee ever so slightly squeezed his shoulder armor and blinked towards Optimus.

"He says that you're stronger than this, he knows this from fighting you and that you should stop acting like a sparkling and be the 'con he…" Optimus chuckled.

"What? What did he say?" Blackout didn't take his optics off the smiling 'bot in front of him, but was now frowning. Stupid Autobot. Like he didn't feel bad enough having no friends. Now he had to have the yellow one insult him?

"He wants you to be the 'con that normally scares the slag out of him."

Bumblebee nodded once at Blackout before heading back to Ratchet's side. Blackout was a little lost for words.

"Really…? I scare him…?" Well, 'bout time the mute moron showed a little respect.

Optimus shrugged ever so slightly, a slight smirk crossing his face. "His words, Blackout."

"Youngling's got a glitching circuit loose if you ask me." Ratchet grumbled quietly, receiving a prod from Bumblebee for his consternation.

Blackout frowned and drew himself up to his full height. "What the frag are you all looking at? Don't we have work to do?" There had to be a way to get a fix on their location. Then Barricade would talk to him again. And he'd be rid of these smarmy Autobots. Who had seen him look like such a ninny.

****

Sideswipe lay slumped against the bulkhead at the back of the bridge. Soundwave had placed a sensor block on him so he couldn't move. His optics glared with loathing at the small 'bot grinning stupidly in front of him.

"Not so big now are ya. Dumb Autobot." Rumble chuckled. Soundwave came into his line of sight. The cold red visor staring down at him, the monotone voice sending chills through his sensor net.

"Give me the command codes for the Ark."

"Go slag yourself… freakin' 'con… I knew we shouldn't have trusted you. Should have blown you apart when we first detected you."

Soundwave didn't react as expected. "That is unfortunate." The large mech leaned closer to Sideswipe who was unable to draw back.

"Get away from me! Stay out of my fraggin' head!"

Tendrils shot out from Soundwave's frame, and probed Sideswipe's helm.

"Ack… Get out… I am going to slaggin' rip you apart…" Sideswipe strained as the mech probed his mind further.

"Arrgghh!!!... No!"

Soundwave drew back sharply. Rumble didn't even glance up. "Got them?"

"Affirmative." He headed back to the console as the ship jerked sharply as it hit atmosphere.

Sideswipe was enraged. He felt his fingers twitch. Glancing up, he noticed Rumble was preoccupied with watching Soundwave working the ship back into a stable orbit. His extremities were coming back online; whatever Soundwave had done in his head had weakened the sensor block. He could move. Taking his chance he grabbed Rumble who shrieked. Soundwave turned sharply and froze as Sideswipe held his pulse rifle to his symbiote.

"Release him." Soundwave commanded, no shred of emotion in his voice.

"You know, I think I'll hang onto him for a while. For what was it you called it?... Negotiation. Well Soundwave negotiate this… you so much as twitch in the wrong direction then I blow his fraggin' head off. Move away from the console."

"You are an Autobot. You are bluffing."

"HA! Got me confused with Prime there hot shot. I have no problem offlining the little runt."

"This is illogical, if I do not correct orbit, we will all perish in the atmosphere."

"Well now, I suggest you get off at the next stop."

"I will not relinquish this vessel." Rumble squeaked as Sideswipe gripped him tighter, preventing him from squirming. Soundwave frowned.

"You know what? I think you actually care about what happens to Rumble so I am giving you one last chance to get of my ship, before I give you reason to."

"You are no match for me." Soundwave stated blandly. "But if you injure Rumble, I shall have a reason to damage you. And your ship. Permanently."

"Wrong answer." Sideswipe raised his weapon and aimed at Soundwave. He squeezed the trigger. Rumble cried out: Soundwave didn't even flinch.

Sparks erupted from the console directly behind the telepath. The console sputtered and died. Soundwave turned noting that the navigational controls were shot. Sideswipe charged at him, throwing Rumble ahead. Soundwave caught the spindly bot in one hand as Sideswipe impacted his mid section sending them both flying over the console. Rumble managed to scramble free as Sideswipe fought his master. Being more adept at fighting up close and personal he soon gained the upper hand against Soundwave who grunted loudly as a fist shattered his visor sending him sprawling across the floor. Sideswipe fired his weapon, but Soundwave was fast. The ship lurched violently toward the surface. Sideswipe was sent stumbling off balance.

Glancing at the damaged console Soundwave realized the situation was futile. The Autobot had sealed his own fate. Better to have the Ark destroyed if he couldn't claim it. With any luck it would crash and the subsequent explosion would ignite the veins of Neptunium on the planet. At least then part of his mission would be a success. Even if it did mean wiping out everyone on the surface. Megatron considered it a worth while price to pay. He swiftly summoned Rumble to him. Holding up his hands to Sideswipe he drew back.

"I surrender."

"What?" Both Sideswipe and Rumble exclaimed.

"This is a fight neither one of us can win. I will relinquish your vessel. It is yours." Soundwave kept moving backwards, ever closer to the exit.

Sideswipe smirked. "Nice try. But I think you'll have a much better view right where you are." He fired his weapon, which blasted into Soundwave's side, he fired again this time injuring his leg. Soundwave fell to the floor in obvious pain.

"Why you filthy Autobot!" Rumble screamed as he darted for him.

"Ah! Don't make me shoot him in head, I would much rather we all watch the show together."

Rumble hesitated his optics darting between Sideswipe and Soundwave. "Now I can try and save all of us. Or I can waste my time fighting you off. Which is it to be, short stuff?"

"Rumble, stand down." Soundwave spoke up, his normally even tone, laced with barely disguised pain and reluctance. He sounded weak.

"Good thinking."

"You can't salvage the ship." Soundwave grimaced as he tried to move to a sitting position.

Sideswipe laughed shortly. "Well now, that's just the sort of encouragement that I like to hear. Call yourself a telepath. If you had any idea how the Ark actually worked. You'd have known that I only shot out the primary navigational controls. Or do you think all us Autobots are so stupid that we don't have backups for just such an occasion?"

Soundwave glared at him pointedly. "It would be unwise for me to answer that question."


	22. Chapter 22

Inside:

"Barricade," Prowl said, "Your resistance is illogical. We need those directional readings. You have done it before. Do it again." Really, it was that simple. As much as Prowl didn't care to have to depend on the Decepticons for anything, he hated their apparent ever growing moodiness even more. Autobots did not act like such sparklings.

"Please," Nadya interjected. The 'con seemed to listen to her. Well, better than Stokes.

"No."

"The humans are beginning to run low on oxygen," Ironhide reminded him, brusquely.

"Only problem with that is they'd be more dead weight to lug since you idiot Autobots would make us carry even their dead bodies."

"You don't think we'd just leave them here?" Prowl sounded a little shocked.

"Why not? Isn't that what you made us do with the runticon? Bringing us his head?" Barricade countered.

Ironhide growled at Barricade, who stared him down coldly.

Starscream patted the floor around him until his talons bumped Stokes. "Human," he said. "Take me to Barricade." He held one talon still until he felt Stokes grab on and pull. Stokes had no idea what was going on, but the jet finally seemed in the mood to be helpful and Stokes didn't want to hamper that. Anything that pissed off the touchy jet could ruin everything.

Stokes led Starscream over to where Barricade stood, pressed into a corner of the cavern wall. The jet reached out his other hand and rested it on Barricade's arm. He released Stokes, but still held onto Barricade as he lowered himself awkwardly into a seated position. "Leave us, human," he said.

"Sure." Stokes retreated a few steps, but turned to watch. What was this all about? And why was the crabby Barricade just standing there while the jet's hand grabbed at his shoulder?

"You have not gone far enough away, fleshsack," Starscream said. "I can hear your respirator."

Sheesh! Stokes stomped off. "What's up with those lovebirds?" he griped as he rejoined the others.

"Having a conversation," Ironhide said. "Look."

Even though they weren't making any noise, they were certainly acting like they were having some kind of conversation. Almost an argument. Starscream was making some hand gesture of entreaty. Barricade stood firm, almost rigid. Finally, Barricade's frame relaxed. No, more like sagged. "Fine," he said aloud.

"That is good," Starscream said.

"You promise…?"

"I keep my word, Barricade."

Barricade stomped over to Prowl. If he was going to cooperate, he was determined, apparently, to make sure everyone knew he wasn't very happy about it. "What do you want from me."

Prowl tried to figure out what in the world the jet had said to Barricade—one didn't seem like a particularly masterful negotiator and the other didn't seem too easily swayed. Still, Prowl's logic told him that asking about that would defeat the larger goal of getting out of here. "We need your directional readings. Actually," his eyes widened—why hadn't he thought of this before—"surely your HUD can give a straight grid coordinate of our location."

Barricade looked at Starscream, something almost frantic in his eyes. Then remembered the jet couldn't see. "Fine." He clicked on his HUD. "Nope. Too much rock to penetrate. I can get longitude only. And a cone vector to…that fraggin' copter. Gets less accurate the further he actually is. Which we have no way to know."

"All right." Prowl gestured to the others. "Let's go. We need to triangulate ourselves. And I think," he accessed his maps, "I can get us to a higher position where he CAN get us a grid."

"I'm not encouraged when you say you only 'think'," Ironhide said.

"You'll be less encouraged by this," Barricade said, taking the jet's hand. "I'm leading the blind one again."

"The blind one who dearly wishes not to have to carry you." Starscream added.

"Fine," Ironhide snapped. "I can walk on my own just fine."

"One other thing," Barricade said. "No humans on me. Or that's the last reading you get."

Wow, Stokes thought, Barricade was really using his clout here to be awfully petty. "We're fine," he said, stiffly.

The party set off, pace hampered by Ironhide's gait which lagged even behind the shorter-legged humans. He refused to let Prowl assist him. Three times along the route, Prowl asked Barricade for another attempt. Each time, the 'con tightened his hand around the jet's claw before he complied. After the second time, Ironhide looked at him curiously. He seemed to be…shivering.

"Hey, Barricade, You not over that geyser stuff yet?"

"'M fine," the 'con mumbled, his eyes distant.

After the third time, the shiver had gone to a definite twitch, Barricade's eyes jumping around like he was seeing things. Ironhide pulled Prowl aside. "Damn 'con's acting weird. You sure we can trust him?"

Prowl looked back at Barricade, who, in the halt, looked solid enough, if pissed. Well, Prowl had bigger problems than a 'con's emotional maturity. "He looks all right to me," Prowl said. "Barricade. We're here. Can you try to get us a grid?"

The smaller 'con swore, which seemed unnecessary, his voice high and shrill. He dragged the jet a little further up the sloping floor of the tunnel with him. "This better be fraggin' worth it," he snarled. He lit up his arrays. Not just the one from before, but all of them. His eyes went white, the upper pair shimmering in their sockets like they wanted to slide out of position. He rattled off a ten-digit string. "Got that?"

"Yes," Prowl said. "Thank you."

"Ready," Barricade said. He'd shut off his arrays, looking down at the floor intently. Ready? Ready for what? Was he talking to the surface again? Prowl stepped closer to investigate but before he could advance, the jet swung one of his powerful arms, striking the smaller 'con hard at the base of his helm. Barricade collapsed forward, offline.

*****

"Blackout." Blackout jumped as Starscream's voice came over his comm, first surprised, then worried. "We have the grid coordinates of our present location." Around the copter, the Autobots pressed in. How? It didn't matter: they were finally going to be able to help. To do something other than wander around with this moody Decepticon.

"What happened to Barricade?" Blackout blurted. He checked his comm call freq—still Barricade's boosted comm line. No way Starscream on Barricade's comm spelled anything good.

"He is offline at his own request."

"Do I need to guess how you got the grid?"

"They were already beginning. It was…unpleasant to watch."

Blackout bit his lower labial plate. "Starscream? Thanks."

"To be honest, I confess that I enjoyed hitting him."

Blackout smiled, sadly. "I can understand that. He'll be okay?" Hard to keep the worry from his voice. He didn't care if the fraggin' Autobots made fun of him or made their snide 'is he your boyfriend' jokes again.

"When he reboots, the worst of it will have been dumped as junk code. He shall be fine. And we shall dislike ourselves for missing him."

"Look forward to that," the copter muttered.

Prime intervened. "The grid coordinates?" He tried not to sound impatient, in what he gathered were some trying circumstances, but still. There was a time for this. And that was not right now, with Primus-only-knew-what going on in the Ark.

Starscream recited the string. "This is where we are. We have done our part. Now perhaps you Autobots will do your part to remedy this intolerable situation."

"We know about the humans and their oxygen," Ratchet said.

"I was referring to the situation where I have no one reasonable with whom to converse."

They heard a faraway voice—the jet's audio pickups were higher than the smaller 'con's. "Optimus, we need a plan. And what is going on with the Ark?"

"How is Ironhide?" Ratchet asked. "Is he the idiot glitch I think he is?"

A mutter of curses—Ironhide. "Ironhide is functional," Prowl said, "provided we do not have to move." Considering they finally knew a location, it would be idiocy to move now. "Now, the Ark?" The tactician's processor was sick to over clocking of hearing about these Decepticons and their little interpersonal fracases. He wanted a new problem.

"We haven't heard from them, but it appears Sideswipe is under attack. Blackout feels this is a nanovirus attack planned by Soundwave and that either us, or the moon itself, is his next target."

Blackout hung his head, acutely aware that Starscream was hearing yet more evidence of 'copter-with-rotor-mouth.'

"Highly likely outcomes. At this point it is too early to determine if we, or, more specifically, YOU, Prime are the main targets, or if it is the Neptunium."

Prime frowned. He didn't much like either option, especially for the collateral damage Megatron was willing to pay. Blow up a moon and his own mechs to destroy Optimus? That sounded wasteful—and vengeful—enough to be Megatron. But destroying the source of Neptunium so that neither side could have it was also in keeping with the crazed leader's thinking. "The issue is," Prime said, "What can we do to help?"

"You? Nothing. If I could contact the ship, however…then I should be able to analyze the nanovirus and my battle computer will be able to formulate an anti-viral code to render the nanovirus harmless. "

"Yes Prowl, but to do that, you're going to have to let down your central firewalls in order to analyze it and you'll end up infected too." Ratchet grumbled insistently.

"I believe that I will be able to reinforce my cortex adequately to prevent that, Ratchet."

"If you get infected with a nanovirus with the strength to bring down Teletraan 1 then there's no telling what it will do to your systems." Ratchet frowned, even though there was no way Prowl could see his face.

"Yes but can it work, Ratchet?" Optimus asked quietly.

"Yes. It could work, but if you want my professional opinion it's a fraggin' dangerous and glitch-headed idea." Well, the medic seemed to be maintaining a steady level of charm, Blackout noted.

"I am aware of the risks Ratchet. Thank you for your concern but this is the only way to regain control of the ship. This is beneficial to us all. The only flaw with my plan is that it requires a boosted system in order for my cortex to directly link to Teletraan 1."

Optimus frowned. Well, there went that plan. "And Barricade is still offline?"

"Would I be talking to you if he were not?" Starscream said, nastily.

"No need to be so damn hostile, 'con," Ratchet snapped.

"Autobot, when you have had to offline one of your own mechs because he is having traumatic flashbacks he garnered in an attempt to further another of your ridiculous schemes to get us out of here, THEN you may tell me what is appropriate for my mood."

"There are medical interventions for that, 'con."

"None available under this filthy rock, 'bot," Starscream replied evenly.

"We also need their comm."

"Which means," Ratchet said, "We have to get them out of there, ASAP."

"Oh, right," Blackout muttered, "Because we've had all the time in the world up til now. When it was just my fraggin'friends in danger."

"Oh that's just so untrue it's not even funny, 'con!" Ratchet burst. "Our mechs are down there too, for one thing, and for another—"

Optimus cut off Ratchet before he went on another of his infamous excoriations. "Ratchet, we have larger issues right now. As I have told Blackout. Blackout, I am sorry about Barricade. And I hope he recovers from…whatever has happened. But we need to work together."

"Why?" Blackout bellowed. Fed up. "Why should we help you? Help you what? Defeat one of our own guys? Seriously?"

"Blackout," Starscream said, coolly, "The Autobot ship may be our only way off this moon. We would do well to help resecure it. For our own uses. You know what use Soundwave would put it to."

The sentence hung ominously in the air. Nobody wanted, or needed, a translation.

"The point is," Optimus interrupted, losing a little patience. "The point is that we need boosted communications."

"No, you don't," Blackout said, quietly. "You need a ramped code frequency modulator. Not a signal booster."

"What's the difference?" Ratchet snapped. "We don't have one of those either."

"I do."

"Blackout," Starscream said, warningly.

"What? You know what Soundwave is planning. You want that to happen?"

A long pause. "Very well, Blackout. But if you endanger yourself, you will leave me alone with these Autobots. Which will…displease me greatly."

"Got another option?" the copter said, hotly.

"No," the jet sighed. "Just…be careful."

The Autobots stood by, in shock. No one had expected Starscream to sound so…decent. Blackout stared at the ground for a moment, bracing himself. "All right," he said, quietly. He whispered to Ratchet, urgently, "Just don't tell Barricade?"


	23. Chapter 23

Surface:

Blackout squirmed as Ratchet had to use his tools to modify his freq modulator. The grouchy medic had become very subdued since being overruled by both Prime and SIC. He was bordering on the verge of being polite. For the medic to become this quiet after briefly arguing with Optimus in hushed tones to one side earlier, Blackout took as a bad sign. And the fact that, as usual, no one was telling him a fraggin' thing. Stupid copter, he told himself. Barricade's going to kick my security clearance back down to 'toaster' when he hears about this.

Which made him think about Barricade. Which made him worried AND sad. One of Ratchet's tools slipped against his audio, causing a squeal of feedback. "Watch what you're poking…"

"Sorry." Ratchet mumbled. Blackout didn't like this. When they weren't calling him a whiner, something was wrong. Even the yellow one wasn't making fun of him, even though he was sitting like a lump of slag, his comm. array exposed for Ratchet's mods.

"You must think the plan can work if you're going ahead with it, right?" he asked. The medic cast him a pointed look as he finished his alterations.

"I am following orders, Blackout. You're ready." Ratchet went to stand to one side, his arms folded across his chest. He did not look happy. Blackout didn't like this at all. He tried to figure if Ratchet's distance was significant—had he just moved out of some sort of burst range? Dammit: Barricade was way better with demo than he was. Barricade would be able to tell.

"Prowl, are you ready?" Optimus asked through the open comm.

"I'm ready."

"I am not, though thank you for asking," Starscream muttered. They had to run the comm. through Barricade and Starscream. "I am displeased that if this idiotic plan backfires, all three of us will be damaged. It seems like a convenient plot to eliminate all of your enemies at once."

"Prowl will be damaged as well."

"Is that supposed to be comforting? It is not. Just a hint, Prime. I have one of the humans in my hands. Should anything happen that would render me unconscious, I shall lose my grip. Do you think a fall from my height will be sufficient to kill? Enjoy those calculations."

****

Inside:

Ironhide watched a seated Prowl closely as his optics flickered and dimmed.

"So what's going on?" Stokes asked, rather nervously. He did not enjoy having the jet's hand around him. It was very…spiky. It was also a long way down.

"He's uplinking with the ship now." Ironhide answered, all trace of animosity gone from his tone. He was worried.

Prowl remained completely motionless for a few long minutes. Ironhide was tense and to his surprise even Starscream appeared apprehensive, shifting his grip on Stokes, several times, tilting his head as if something was itching at his audio.

Prowl's voice sounded strange, slower than normal and slightly digitized. "I have linked to Teletraan 1… detecting nanovirus…"His optics twitched slightly. "Analysing…" He fell silent again. "Initiating anti-viral code… formulating…transmitting now…"

They waited, their patience pushed to its limits.

"It is working; the nanovirus is shutting down… Aaahh…" Prowl stopped mid-sentence, his frame tensed and his optics widened.

"Prowl?" Ironhide prompted.

"What is happening, did he succeed?" Nadya frowned, looking worriedly at Stokes, who had gone rigid in his space suit.

"I'm not sure… Prowl?" Ironhide clenched his fists resisting the urge to shake the tactician.

Prowl's air intakes had rapidly increased and with a sound that made both mechs jump, his cooling systems came on line. Optimus's voice sounded over the still open comm.

"What's happening down there? Blackout is reporting a surge of information."

"We don't know. He's frozen up."

Prowl's body jerked suddenly, his hands clenching tightly. His voice was strained, forced.

"It is adapting… formulating… code…too fast… to counteract… need to siphon… from… ship."

Ratchet's voice shouted over the comm. "You can't do that! You'll get infected: it will shut you down! You damned glitching stubborn…." Ratchet reeled off a series of insults in their native Cybertronian in frustration.

Prowl looked in pain, Ironhide could only watch as he jerked sharply.

"Risk… have to… take… transmitting…" His optics shuttered with concentration. "It is… it's working…"

Only Stokes noticed the jet's sudden rigidity.

*****

Surface:

Without warning Blackout cried out in pain. The link was severed as Blackout fell to the ground on the surface. Ratchet was immediately by his side.

"Some of his circuits have been burnt out from the surge of energy. He's clean though. He'll be fine." Ratchet glared at Optimus who was tense with concern and guilt in having given the order to go ahead.

"Fine," Blackout mumbled, clutching his head. "You call this fine?" He heaved, purging a rainbow of fluids onto the ground. Bumblebee blurped nearby, distressed. He hated purging, himself. He leaned over to pull one of the copter's rotors up before it trailed in the puddle.

"Is Prowl alright… Ironhide, Starscream?"

Starscream's voice was thin. No hint of his usual snark. "I believe Ironhide is restraining your tactician now. He is convulsing, according to the humans."

"And the humans?" Optimus prompted.

"Are fine." A slow, shaky in-vent. "As usual."

All of the mechs on the surface grimaced as Prowl's anguished cries ripped through the comm. emphasizing Starscream's statement.

"Ratchet what can I do?!" Ironhide bellowed. The medic thought quickly.

"He must stay online to fight the virus."

"What about these seizures?!"

"Needs a sensor block on him…"

"I don't fraggin' come with a supply, Ratchet!" Ironhide swore.

Ratchet sighed. "There's nothing I can do from up here." He shrugged, defeated.

"I may be able to help." Starscream said. "But you will not enjoy it."

Inside:

"Take me to Prowl, Ironhide."

"What?"

"I am armed with a null ray, it will temporarily paralyze him. It works in a similar way to a sensor block but at full strength would render him offline… dead."

"Ratchet says he needs to stay online."

"You did not let me finish, impatient Autobot," Starscream spat the word as though it were the vilest insult he could summon. "His systems will be temporarily surged, but online. Unlike Barricade."

"Can this work?"

"You seem open to ideas. It is an idea. I merely suggest it because his screeching is eating into my cortex."

"He's in front of you."

"Point my left arm."

Ironhide obeyed immediately. Aiming the weapon at Prowl, whose frame was wracked by spasms. Starscream paused, cycling down the power on his null ray to a mere ten percent, and fired. Prowl fell limp. They waited what felt like an age before Prowl's optics came back on line. They flickered intermittently.

"Prowl?" Ironhide knelt gingerly beside him, allowing Starscream to rest his hand on his shoulder for balance. Prowl blinked his voice was barely a whisper.

"Ship… is … safe….virus… eliminated."

"Not from you, you glitch-headed moron." Starscream inclined his head slightly as the unfamiliar note of concern in Ironhide's voice.

"Didn't… know… you… you cared… so… m…much…"

Ironhide grunted in derision. "Don't flatter yourself… need the maps."

The ghost of a smile crossed Prowl's face. Starscream lowered himself slowly besides Ironhide.

"You are infected?"

"I… I am… counter… acting… effects…it's painful… thank y..you… for null ray…."

Starscream's face betrayed nothing. "I would have been most displeased to have been left here with just Ironhide and the humans and an unconscious Barricade. Should you have offlined I would have viewed it as most inconsiderate of you."

Ironhide stifled a chuckle as he leaned over the still twitching Prowl. "See…told you he liked you…."

"Though he is preferable to, say, YOU, that is decidedly untrue. Additionally, it is unwise to be stating such things that may cause Prowl to pass out again."

"Got…a… point…." Prowl tensed and without any warning his optics went black.

"Prowl…. Prowl?" Ironhide yelled.

"It appears my warning was too late…," Starscream mused. The comm. line buzzed again.

Optimus's deep voice filled the cave. "Sideswipe has reported that he has regained control of the Ark, he is going to have to perform an emergency landing, but we will all have a way off the surface, once Soundwave has been contained. Well done, Prowl."

"I am afraid that he will be unable to bask in the glow of your praise, Prime. Judging from Ironhide's silence, I believe things have taken a turn for the worse. And thank you once again for ignoring the considerable Decepticon contribution to this effort."

"What's happened?" Ratchet cut in.

Ironhide answered his voice cracking with concern. "Prowl's gone into fraggin' stasis lock."


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N: Back in the saddle again, as they say! Optimus Bob's computer is alive and kickin' and so are we! Enjoy first a totally Bob section, then my 'cons being the morons they usually are._

Inside:

Nadya was by Ironhide's side as the big mech looked more worried than she'd ever seen him.

"What's stasis lock?" Stokes spoke up as Ironhide swore for the third time… loudly causing the human's to wince.

"It's where his body shuts down to try and conserve his energy so his spark can be protected." Ironhide tried to explain.

"Like a coma?" Nadya asked calmly.

"Very similar, except if he stays like that too long, he will die; his spark can't function like that for long."

"Slag it all! What do I do?" Ironhide cursed to himself frustrated.

Nadya frowned, the comm. had cut off once again so they were without the aid of the medic on the surface. She thought quickly, their systems required energy, all of their systems used liquid energon that kept their bodies functioning. "I've got an idea!"

Ironhide stared at her. "What the slag can you do? You're a fraggin' human!"

"Nice, thanks no need to be rude. First of all… you need to calm the hell down, I can't help you when you go into a blind panic."

"I'm not panicking." Ironhide growled through clenched dentals.

"Stokes, I need your help. Ironhide's hands are too big. Do you have a sharp tool?"

"We have a crow bar," Stokes offered.

"That'll do." She looked at Ironhide. "Right I need to open his chest to get to his spark chamber."

"Why?"

"Your bodies run on energon, he needs energy, the only way I can think of is a transfusion, giving him someone elses energon. Not all of it just enough to get his body back up and running until we can get to the surface, I mean he still has his own supply but the virus has probably messed some of it up right… hence the coma… I mean stasis lock."

Ironhide opened his mouth and frowned. "My knowledge is limited… but… but that might work…"

"Try not to sound too surprised." Nadya frowned.

Ironhide lowered his hand and lifted Stokes onto Prowl's chest. "There is a manual release for the spark chamber located beneath a small circular panel, normally only medics can access it, which is why it's so small, you need to take it off." Stokes searched briefly before dropping to his knees and lowering the crow bar. "It's not getting in I can't get a grip on the panel." He strained as the metal bar slid off for a third time and scratched along the tactician's chassis. "Ooohh… sorry…" He winced.

"You'll have to be aggressive, dig it in."

Stokes gave a worried look to Ironhide, who nodded once. Standing he struck the panel sharply putting his weight behind it. The panel screeched and slowly bent out of place. Ironhide lifted the damaged panel clean off the frame.

"Alright he's done it. Now what?" Ironhide looked expectantly at Nadya.

"You're the robot…I just came up with the idea…" She stammered slightly.

Ironhide shook his head. "I wouldn't even know how to start a transfusion; I'm a weapons specialist not a doctor."

"Oh… uumm… Ok then. Someone needs to get into his chest and find the in feed for the energon supplying his spark chamber." She paused as both Stokes and Ironhide looked at her.

"Someone needs to open it… the release is in that small hole." Ironhide pointed.

"Oh right…I'm the only one small enough." Nadya muttered to herself. "Great, just great Nadya… why'd you get yourself into this?" She was already climbing up on the chest before Ironhide could offer his hand, her soft Russian voice cursing viciously. Stokes lowered her down into the narrow chamber slowly. It was a cramped fit.

"What am I looking for?"

"A small catch, possibly just a recessed part of the armour plating."

Nadya felt around the small chamber, her fingers brushed again something rough, she pushed hard. A faint click could be heard and the metallic scrape of armour plates sliding against each other sounded over her head.

"Whoa!" Nadya yelled as Stokes hauled her out of the small hole just as armour closed over the opening. The humans stared down at the gaping, glowing, blue hole in Prowl's chest. His spark was pulsing weakly. Soft heat emanated from its core as energon fed into it.

"Wow…" Stokes mouthed in awe.

Nadya took a deep breath then took control of the situation. "Ironhide, he needs a transfusion of energy to help his systems reboot. Can you do it? Do you have enough?" She commanded.

Nadya worked at the connectors, pulling them gently to release them from the arm now resting next to Prowl's spark chamber. Stokes had been lowered into the chamber itself and was busily unlatching in feed lines.

"Gah…!!" He cried out as one of the lines split, covering his suit with darkened, virus-riddled energon.

"What… what is it?" Ironhide snapped peering down. His optics narrowed at the dark stain, letting out a soft growl.

"I am guessing it's not supposed to look like this?!" Stokes shouted up from the chamber. His visor reflecting the blue glow, rendering his face unreadable.

"No, work quickly."

Nadya lowered the connector cables from the offered arm. Stokes grabbed them as Nadya jumped down beside him. Kneeling she began to knit the ends of the cables together. Ironhide pressed one finger against the main in feed line to stow the flow of energon.

"Is it done yet?" Ironhide mumbled as he peered at the two humans wriggling around inside Prowl's chest.

"No… and if you don't quit asking me it never will be!" Nadya snapped as her hands slipped against the energon slick cable. "Dammit!"

He grimaced as she tripped over a wire, knowing just how sensitive it was. "Prowl is not going to be happy about this… be surprised if it doesn't make him glitch." He growled softly to himself.

"Would you shut the hell up for a minute?!" Nadya shouted from inside the spark chamber, her anger flaring as she connected the first cable

Ironhide shook his head in disbelief. Stokes frowned. "Why are you smirking?"

"She's the human version of Ratchet."

"There got it! Release now!"

Nadya stood back as energon began flowing into Prowl's spark chamber. The spark flickered faintly before glowing white and hot. Its pulses' growing stronger as the transfusion was successful.

"She did it!" Ironhide smiled, leaning over the mech as he slowly began to come back online.

"Don't try to move…" He spoke softly, much gentler than the humans were used to hearing from the gruff, angry 'bot.

"W…what… happened?" His head lifted slightly and his optics stared at his open spark chamber. "W…why am I … on dis… display?" Prowl's voice was hoarse, weak and barely audible.

"You stasis locked you Primus cursed glitch… having to do a transfusion of energon… so don't move until I give the word." The weapons specialist chuckled lightly. "In this exposed state you risk either one of the 'cons pouncing on you."

Prowl's optics rolled and he groaned faintly in response, dropping his head back onto the floor with a faint clang as his spark grew stronger.

*****

Starscream leaned back against the stone of the cave, one hand idly coming up to stroke Barricade's head, draped across his broad shoulders. He could hear the two humans scamper around the fallen Prowl, trying to assist Ironhide. He would let no one near Barricade until the smaller mech on lined. For both their sakes. If the reboot had been unsuccessful in clearing Barricade's hallucinations, he would be a terror to anyone around him. "I regret," he whispered, "volunteering you for this mission. And for using your display to find Dead End." He did a tally: Dead End, down. Barricade, down. Blackout?

He hit the comm., switching to subvoc. "Blackout?"

Blackout's voice was shaky. "Starscream?"

"You are functional." Hard to keep the relief from his voice.

"Freq mod is crispy. But yeah." A hesitation. "And I purged. A lot. It was…really…colorful."

"Please, Blackout, spare me the visual descriptions." His own tank felt a little unsettled.

"Starscream?"

"Yes?"

"Don't tell Barricade I volunteered my comm. for this, okay?"

"If you do not tell him that I had the chance to blow Prowl's head off, assisted by Ironhide, and passed it up."

"Ooohh, he's gonna be mad when he hears that."

"Hears what?" A thin, staticky voice, but unmistakably Barricade's.

Blackout burst into a string of panicked syllables. Starscream talked over him. "Merely hear how much fun you have missed."

"Figures. Wait 'til I'm gone to have fun. Frag the two of you." Barricade stirred across the back of Starscream's neck. A soft yelp.

"Has the reboot helped?"

"Yeah. Fine. Except your damn engine mount reinforcement's got me right in the—" A pause. Barricade's weight shifted across the jet's shoulders. "Pretty sure I don't want to know this, but…. How are we all talking?"

"We're all dead and in the Pit," Blackout suggested. "That would pretty much describe my day."

"No," Barricade said. "For this to be eternal torment that obnoxious Autobot Ironhide would have to—oh slag. There he is." Starscream felt Barricade's head move. His optics were probably cycling online. "Right. So we're dead."

"Actually," Starscream said, "One of the humans wired our comm. together."

"One of the—you mean you let them TOUCH me? When I was out?!" The hands moved weakly, trying to throttle the jet.

"Barricade, stop trying to kill me, please. It was necessary."

"'M gonna soak in nondilute cleanser for a decacycle," Barricade muttered. "So, I take it we're still stuck. Why's Prowl playing floormat?"

"He went into stasis lock."

"There's a story behind this you don't want me to know, isn't there?"

"Not at all. It is merely a very boring story."

"Blackout, your story boring too?"

"Uhhh, even more boring. I purged though," he said, desperately. "It was gross. Colors I didn't know I had in me. Seriously."

"Blackout!" Starscream barked.

Barricade snorted. "This is gonna make a hell of an entry in the mission log: Blackout barfed a rainbow of delights. Barricade has become the Seeker's newest fashion accessory. And Starscream apparently blew Prowl right into stasis lock with his sexy charms."

"Don't forget Dead End," Blackout said.

"Who?" Starscream and Barricade chorused and fell laughing. Barricade struggled to sit up, still laughing. "All right, jetboy. Time to put your mink stole down."

"I shall lean back and you may climb off my engines. Hold on." The jet inched his body forward, tilting his back against the wall of the tunnel until he was almost supine. Barricade climbed off, holding the thin wire to his audio as the jet said, excitedly, "Barricade!"

"What! I'm right fraggin' here!"

He felt the jet's hand reach out to pat him. "Yes, I know, but I have realized something."

"Uh oh," Blackout said. "A confession of undying love between two comrades stuck in a hopeless situation? I think I saw that on an episode of _Seeker Cadets_."

"No! I am serious. This wall has been smooth-bored."

"Oh, insert 'bored' joke here."

"Barricade, you are not listening to me. Having felt an unpleasant amount of this mine with my hands, I can tell you that most of the interior has a very rough surface—where they discovered viable Neptunium and mined the sidewalls to get at it. This is smooth. Which means…."

"There's no Neptunium here!"

"Uhhh, yay?" Blackout said.

"It means, oh rotor glitch that we can possibly blow a hole to the surface without blowing up half the fraggin' moon as a bonus."

"Oh. Yay!"


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N First off, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! We both hope (Optimus Bob and myself) the new year has great things in store for all of you! (And ourselves: after the real life drama, the computer glitches--on both sides--and general mayhem that ended 2009, we need some good karma too!) Anyway, back to the fun! _

Ark:

Sideswipe gripped the sides of the console as the ship shook violently, threatening to rip apart at the seams. He growled loudly as if willing the ship to obey him.

"Come on! You piece of slaggin' pit cursed glitching excuse for a ship!" His voice bellowed across the Ark. They bucked as they hit the lower atmosphere, careening out of control.

"Cursing will not save your spark Autobot." Soundwave uttered nonchalantly, Rumble sniggering in agreement.

Sideswipe snarled his optics flicking over the prone 'con. "Cursing might just save yours 'con. So unless you can fly the primus damned ship with your freaky 'con brain... Shut up!" Sideswipe returned to trying to regain control of the ship the virus still raging through its systems. "Come on Prowl." Sideswipe urged, having been informed of the plan on the surface.

"Show me what that freakishly boring, scary, slaggin' logic riddled cortex of yours can do." He winced as the ship plummeted sharply. A whining pierced his audios from Teletraan and without warning multiple consoles exploded in a shower of sparks.

Sideswipe found himself on his back, again. This was getting to be a bad habit. A shadow loomed over him he froze in mid crouch.

"Soundwave… what are you doing?" He stood slowly as the 'con limped over to the console and snake like tendrils shot out of his arm. His cracked visor revealed on red optic as he glanced at Sideswipe, who took a threatening step forward his weapon now in hand.

"I am attempting to use my… freaky… 'Con brain…to fly the ship as requested. In order to help you land it."

"What…? Why… why would you do that…? You were the one who put your fraggin' virus in there in the first place!"

Rumble pounced onto the console frowning. "I am confused… 'Wave why are you helping?"

Soundwave let out a very faint sigh of frustration as his tendrils made contact with the console, he twitched slightly and his deep gravelly voice sounded distant. "It would be highly illogical for me to allow the ship to crash, off lining myself along with you." His optic narrowed at the Autobot. "Are your limbs malfunctioning Autobot…? The ship requires landing gear to be deployed."

Sideswipe jumped into action. "Yeah…sure." He mumbled. "And could you do me a favour?"

"Unlikely."

"Please stop sounding like Prowl… there's only so much logic a mech can handle in his lifetime!"

"Your request is… illogical."

Sideswipe rolled his optics. "Landing gear is out. Taking us down…"

Rumble sat clicking his fingers distractedly. _: Soundwave I don't understand I thought Megatron's orders were…:_

_: I am well aware of our orders Rumble; please try not to concern yourself. We do not want to crash and the nanovirus can be reprogrammed for much more efficient uses:_

_: What are you planning?:_

_: I do not wish to spoil the surprise: _

Rumble glanced up at his guardian frowning, his optics widened as Soundwave's visible optic gave him a subtle wink.

The ship shook violently as they approached the surface fast… too fast.

"Need to decrease speed… we're coming in too low… this is going to be bu…Uuunnngghh!!" Sideswipe grunted as his chest bounced off the console. Soundwave managed to brace himself as the ship slammed into the moon.

Dust and rocks were sent scattering in the wake of the ship as it carved a deep groove along the surface of the moon, grey cloud of debris coated the ship as it skidded along the ground, landing struts shattering upon a second impact as it bounced along the uneven rocky surface.

Alarms and smoke filled the bridge of the Ark. Sideswipe worked the controls as fast as he was able, while on his knees having been knocked to the floor by the impact. Even Soundwave was clawing onto the console, looking rather undignified. The viewer showed a large mass of grey-black rock accelerating towards them. The ship whined and screeched as it slowed painfully. The massive shape was coming at them faster than Sideswipe could adjust. His optics stared at the viewer.

"Oh slag…."

The ship rocketed into the side of the mountain with a deafening crunch of metal, debris and rock showered the Ark as it came to a screeching halt causing a miniature landslide to come raining down on the shields.

Lights flickered back on, on the bridge. Sideswipe groaned, picking himself up off the floor. He glanced around at the superficial damage and checked that the main console was still functioning; the ship was still space worthy much to Soundwave's quiet astonishment. Sideswipe did a celebratory jig on the spot.

"Damn I'm good!" He gloated as Soundwave stared at him incredulously removing his wiry tendrils from the console. His optics flickered unnoticeably as his cortex deftly altered the nanovirus programming just prior to retrieving his connectors.

Deep underground of the small moon a small package of nanovirus were siphoned into Prowl's cortex, the mech fitted violently as the already attacking virus wreaked havoc with his systems. The dormant package slipped by his weakened firewalls unnoticed as the tactician fell into stasis lock. Lodged deep in Prowl's CPU the nanovirus deployed onto neural pathways and there it remained, unthreatening, dormant.

*****

Surface:

"Well?" Blackout turned to Optimus. "What do we do? Go to the crash site or go to help get our guys out from the tunnel?" Ratchet stared openmouthed at the copter. Blackout glared at him. "What? He wants to be Mr Bigshot Leader? Let's see his chops."

Ratchet opened his mouth to argue, but Optimus cut him off with a gesture. "Blackout is right, Ratchet. We have two vital priorities right now. And there are only the four of us."

"Oh no," Blackout said. "Do not dare say what I think you're going to say, Autobot." He wasn't sure he liked being brought in as one of the 'four'. He really wasn't a team guy. Well, not this team. There was no 'blackout' in 'team'. Though they both had an 'a'. Wait, this train of thought was getting him confused. Damn crispy freq mod.

"What?" Ratchet said, "About time you contributed something useful."

"Useful!? I purged! Three times! Did you see it? The puddle was bigger than Beelzebee over there!"

"How is that useful?" Ratchet smirked.

"It was GROSS! It happened because I was helping you glitching mechs get your ship back. From MY guy."

Bee subvoc'd Ratchet, '_He really seems kind of proud of the barfing thing_.'

'_Cons are disturbed individuals, Bee_,' Ratchet replied.

"Blackout," Optimus raised his voice. "You and Bumblebee go to assist the others. We are reasonably certain of their vital status. Ratchet's skills may be needed at the Ark."

"Oh no no no no nononononono. You are not sending me off with the Bouncing Yellow Wonder."

'_I think he's afraid of you_,' Ratchet winked at Bee.

'_I think he's just upset he won't be able to talk to me. He seems kind of lonely_.'

'_Bee, he's a 'con. Don't forget it_.' Ratchet frowned. '_Watch your back. I don't trust him_.'

"Come on!" Blackout was remonstrating. "You and I, we can go together. I can check out the ship. Or you can come help with the others."

Optimus shook his head. "The ship is going to need an Authorization code to get Teletraan 1 operational again after Soundwave's generous virus. The computer automatically locks down when attacked directly, to prevent any sensitive information from falling into the wrong hands. Only I carry that unlock code."

"And you don't want a 'con getting his hands on your ship and maybe helping Soundwave. Huh, I get it." Blackout frowned. "Not stupid, you know."

Actually, Optimus was more concerned that Blackout would be pressured by Soundwave to attack. Right now, Blackout was an ally. "We may need a flyer at the break-out site," he said, gently. "You're the only one who can do it. And I presume you'd rather go with Bumblebee than Ratchet."

Ratchet leered, fingering his tools. Blackout recoiled.

"Fine," he muttered. "Come on, Beeblebum, let's go." With a pained look over his shoulder, Bee trotted after the copter. "Hey, did I tell you that I threw up?" Blackout said. "It was totally gross. Seriously."


	26. Chapter 26

_A/N: some more action! The plot gets even thicker! More Decepti-snark! _

Ratchet helped stabilize Optimus as he stumbled a couple of times over the uneven surface, his injuries now sending strong pain signals across his sensor net.

"He could have offlined… permanently you know." Ratchet broke the silence.

Optimus cast him a sidelong look. "I know."

"You gave the order anyway…"

"Ratchet… please…" Optimus sighed pinching the plates of his nose bridge. "Prowl knew the risks… Primus he had probably figured out the risks and all possible outcomes before even suggesting it in the first place… I didn't force him…"

"You could have ordered him not to." Ratchet pressed, his tone becoming increasingly antagonistic. He had just about had it with this damned moon and 'bots taking stupidly unnecessary risks.

"And he would have disobeyed me and done it anyway… this is Prowl we're talking about here… he will have prioritized the necessity of the ship over his own survival… you know that…" Prime finished softly, attempting to defuse his irate medic. He didn't view his thoughts as insubordinate, Ratchet had always been one to openly speak his mind in private, and Optimus was normally grateful for it but this time, he felt the medic had gone a little over board.

"Beginning to think the mech's got a damned death wish… bit like you!" Ratchet snarked. "Might as well handed his stubborn spark to Primus himself… or better yet Soundwave… seeing as he was so intent on doing so himself."

"Ratchet!" Optimus snapped loudly, stopping in his tracks.

"Front and centre… now!"

Ratchet was slightly stunned at his commander's tone as he stood to face him. He rarely ever treated him as a soldier, medic and friend usually taking precedence.

"You are out of line." Optimus continued his voice clipped. His optics hard.

That was it; the medic had finally had enough.

"I'm out of line?! What about you….? Keeping injuries hidden from me?! Letting your second in command get his cortex fragged beyond all recognition? Pandering to the damned petty insolent needs of the Primus damned 'cons!? I'm out of line?! This whole fraggin' mission has been a train wreck from the moment we let the humans collect the Neptunium for us! This would never have happened if you'd let us take in the Ark in the first place!"

"Have you quite finished?" Optimus replied calmly taking in Ratchet's tirade.

The medic glowered in front of him. Mouth clamping shut.

"Now… let me make one thing perfectly clear…" Optimus took a steady step forward until he was in Ratchet's personal space, the older mech stepped back, now visibly intimidated at having the full brunt of his leader seething with barely repressed anger directly in front of him. Prime's voice was thick with restraint.

"As one of my senior officers, I completely respect your opinions when coordinating missions but as it stands for this mission, you have been particularly difficult." Optimus enunciated sharply. "You have questioned me in front of our enemy, argued with me publicly and resisted any decent attempt by the 'cons to cooperate." He glared fiercely down at his medic.

"Now I don't give a slag what your personal feelings are towards these particular 'cons. They are not pertinent to this mission; I thought you of all mechs Ratchet would have had the self restraint to keep your damn opinions in check. As it stands your behaviour is something I would have expected from Ironhide!"

Ratchet opened his mouth to speak but was cut off harshly.

"You will not speak until I have finished!" He spoke his tone betraying a slight growl. "This is an official warning Ratchet, if you EVER act in such a way again… I will strip you of your rank and confine you permanently to your med bay, until you learn to act like the damned superior officer you're supposed to be rather than an energon fueled youngling looking for kicks and a fight and believe you me, I want a detailed report on why you've been acting so irresponsibly when we return."

Ratchet stared at his leader in stunned silence. It had been a long, long time since he'd been deserving of a put down from a superior. He dropped his head, his face plates burning with anger, frustration and guilt.

"Do I make myself clear Ratchet?" Optimus snapped.

Ratchet stiffened visibly and stood to attention. "Yes Sir…" He responded meekly.

They continued for most of the way in silence. Ratchet supporting his leader whenever his injuries threatened to overwhelm him.

"Ratchet… tell me something…" Optimus finally spoke up, breaking the discomfort. "How can one mech produce so much variety in colour from simply off loading…?" He frowned. "Surely that isn't normal…"

Ratchet actually smirked with amusement. "It is a uumm… long and rather… colourful… explanation." He chuckled lightly. Optimus returned his grin.

"I am beginning to think I am better off not knowing."

His amusement faded as they came into sight of the Ark. Standing on the crest of a hill, their optics took in the devastation. A deep scar scoured the surface leading into the side of the mountain. Protruding out of its side at a sharp angle was the grey, dust covered ship. Looking a little worse for wear.

"It doesn't look as bad as I had expected." Ratchet murmured.

Both mechs winced as a loud ripping of metal could be heard and a large chunk of plating detached from the ship's exposed amber underbelly and crashed to the ground, landing in a cloud of grey dust. They glanced at each other. "I spoke too soon." Ratchet grumbled softly.

*****

"Dammit," Barricade muttered, unlinking his comm from the jerry-rigged connection with Starscream. "Forgot I wasn't speaking to that fraggin' copter."

"Near-death experiences will do that to you," Starscream replied, mildly. "But it is for the best."

"It is not." He settled himself on the ground next to the jet, leaning on Starscream's upraised knee.

"Barricade," the jet sighed, "You cannot go through life holding onto these petty grudges."

"Telling me what I CAN'T do?" Barricade snarled. Beside him, Nadya shrugged at Stokes, parceling the purer Neptunium samples into roughly equal-sized lumps. Barricade began measuring out the det cord, frowning.

"I am," the Seeker said, calmly.

"Can't make me talk to that rotor-brained glitch."

"Really? We shall put that to the test."

"Don't even think about it."

"Think about what?" the jet said, innocently.

Ironhide sighed, loudly. "Don't you two ever shut up? You're giving Prowl a processor-ache."

"I'm fine," Prowl said, quietly, getting a glare from Ironhide for his trouble. Prowl shrugged, and went back to his calculations. This much Neptunium, with that much explosive power, and a desired blast hole large enough for them to escape…. "The best tactical solution," he said, half-aloud, "is to cave in the roof." If the jet could fly, a small tunnel would have worked, but, if they all had to climb out, collapsing most of the ceiling was the best option. It would require several charges, carefully placed. In the ceiling. He hadn't wanted to tell the others this part, hoping his processor would eventually figure a way to get the Neptunium charges in place without…what he was seriously beginning to think as the only option. THAT was giving him a processor-ache.

Stokes set another bundle of Neptunium to one side, near Barricade. He paused, and crossed over to Starscream, head cocked to one side, studying the jet.

"I can hear your respirator," the jet growled. "What is it you want, human?"

"Nothing," Stokes said. "Just looking." Truth was, he had gotten an intriguing glimpse into their audio when he'd wired the jet to Barricade, and he wanted more. He didn't think of himself as ambitious, but that comm equipment? Could revolutionize space communications.

"Look from where I cannot smell you, then," Starscream said. "Barricade, how do you get rid of these pesky humans?"

The smaller mech looked up from where he was setting the detonation cord in a mass of Neptunium, bound together by rope. "Want me to point your weapon?"

"I would prefer it if you would dispatch this one yourself."

"Lazy."

"A good leader delegates the unpleasant tasks."

"Since when am I an unpleasant task?" Stokes cried out, hotly.

"Presumably," Barricade said, "ever since you spawned. I hear human birth is painful and disgusting ordeal."

Stokes snorted. "You heard wrong. I was an epidural. My mom didn't feel a thing."

"I am certain you made up for it later." Starscream fidgeted with the barbs on the backs of his hands.

"He's making up for it right now," Barricade snapped. "Don't you have dangerous explosives to be playing with, human?"

Stokes looked over where Nadya was tying off the last of the Neptunium into a bundle, waiting for Barricade to add detonation. "Nope."

"I hear," Starscream said, in a showy whisper, "that Prowl might let you see his crypto array. But he is very shy so you must be…very persistent." Barricade snickered. Stokes looked appraisingly at Prowl, sitting in the middle of the tunnel, staring at the ceiling. He moved slowly toward the Autobot leader, almost as if he were stalking prey.

"Did it work?" Starscream whispered. "I cannot hear his respirator any more."

"Kind of heavy-handed, there, Starscream," Barricade said.

"But it worked." The jet sat up, smug.

Ironhide ambled over. "Bombs, huh?" He stepped between the prepared units of Neptunium and the two Decepticons. "Mind if I just keep an eye on them?"

"Bombs don't grow legs," Barricade snapped. "Not going to wander off."

"I know. More concerned with you and your blind armored pie-wedge deciding on setting off the party a bit early."

Barricade dropped his hands into his lap, frustrated. "Yes, that would make perfect sense, wouldn't it? Blow you all up now, wasting a charge we probably need to blow through to the surface, dooming ourselves as well. No, really, we ARE that stupid. Where did you get your intel from—some crappy cartoon?"

"Blackout has learned his social skills entirely from _Seeker Cadets,_" Starscream said. "It would not be without precedent."

"One: yeah, and it shows, and two: stop talking to me about that fraggin' copter!"

"I merely think you are being a bit…extreme."

"He's an extremely annoying security risk with a rotor on top. Whose best friend used to be a drone."

"He misses Scorponok immensely. It is possible he is transferring his feelings to you."

"Yeah, because I'm just like a Primus-damned DRONE? Is that what you're saying? FRAG! I have half a processor to comm the glitch just to tell him I'm not talking to him again. Ever." Barricade snatched the last parcel from Nadya's hands, angry.

"Barricade," Nadya said, gently, "He is trying to be your friend. You should let him."

Barricade jumped up, throwing the last bundle of Neptunium to the ground with force enough that the chunks shattered, flying out in all directions. "Has it occurred to anyone except me that the real fraggin' PROBLEM here isn't Barricade's fraggin' Friends List, but that we happen to be trapped under ground? Anyone else remember that? Anyone?"

"Me?" Ironhide said, "I'm too busy noticing that you just ruined one of our explosive charges. After giving me a lecture about how logical all your plans are."

Barricade gave an inchoate cry of rage, his blade weapon bursting from its housing.

The jet lunged forward from where he had been seated, swiping horizontally with his talons, until he caught the other 'con in both arms and pulled Barricade back against his chest. "No," Starscream said, firmly, pinning the mech's arms. "No, Barricade. Let it go."

"Stop treating me like a sparkling!" Barricade twisted in the Seeker's arms, metal grating on metal as he drove his spike weapon into the Seeker's arm.

"I will as soon as you stop acting like one." Starscream pinned the smaller mech's head between his own and his shoulder.

"I…HATE…you!" Barricade tried to pound his elbow against the jet's chassis to free himself, kicking at the jet.

"Is this what you want?" Starscream murmured. "You want to hurt me?" He lifted his arm, showing Barricade the damage—the deep gouges in his armor, the drip from a coolant line. Barricade froze, optics fixed on the wounds. Starscream bowed his head lower, closer to Barricade's. "Do you realize you are giving Ironhide exactly the reaction he desires?" He felt the smaller mech go limp in his arms.

"All right," Barricade said. "Can put me down." Starscream knew better than to question him. He released his grip. The blade weapon slipped back into its casing. "Sorry," the mech mumbled, optics carefully avoiding the jet's injured wrist.

"It is fine," Starscream said. "I should know better than to lecture you about friends."

A dark snort. "Yeah, kind of heavy on the irony." Barricade glared at Ironhide, who jutted his chin, aggressively.

Prowl stood up. "We don't have time for this. Ironhide, stand down. The 'cons have been more than helpful in this, and they don't deserve your attitude."

"Fine," Ironhide grumped. "What do you need me to do?"

Prowl frowned. "We need to get your pulse cannon at very close range to the ceiling to blow small holes in which to plant the explosives."

"And how we gonna do that?"

Logic, Prowl said. Everyone recognizes logic. Just be cool and calm about it and don't give them time to overprocess. "Starscream shall hold you up while you blow the holes and then plant the explosives." There. Clean, crisp, to-the-point, logical.

His audio burst into feedback at the combined protest of the jet and Ironhide. Starscream was louder and shriller, but Ironhide held his own in the profanity department. "It is the only way," he said, which sent Starscream into another shrieking tirade.

Barricade grabbed the jet by his uninjured wrist, cutting off his tirade mid-syllable. "You're going to do it anyway. The sooner the better."

"But I do not want to—do you know where my hands will have to be?"

"Yep."

"Do not even consider, Barricade, telling me that he will like it even less. In this case, that is statistically impossible."

"Fine, I won't. But we either blow our way out of here, with your help, or we all die together. Which is more distasteful?"

The jet hesitated.

"Starscream…." Barricade's tone was warning.

"Fine. I shall do it. But I shall not enjoy it and the moment any one of you stoops to some vulgar joke I will drop him with no remorse."

"Fair enough." Barricade snickered, shooting a sidelong glance at Ironhide.

"YOU may not make a joke, Barricade. I see through your plot. Even though I am blind."

"You are no fun at all." The smaller mech pouted.

"What if I made the joke?" Stokes asked.

"Then I shall drop Ironhide…on you." Starscream turned his blind eyes uncannily in Stokes's direction.

"God, he really is no fun," Stokes muttered to Nadya.

"Uh, no." Ironhide said. "No way. Did that once already, and it sucked. Not doing it again."

"Oh, come now," Starscream said, tilting his head coyly. "I have been told that I am very good with my hands."

Barricade made a choking sound, which he buried in one bunched fist.

"Surely you are…not afraid of me, are you Autobot?" The jet lowered his voice to a sultry tone. "I will be gentle…."

Ironhide boiled. "Shut the frag up, you stinking 'con. Prowl, this is not happening."

"Oh, come now, Ironhide," Starscream inched forward on his knee joints, stroking Ironhide (when he found him) with teasing talons, "As they keep telling me, it is the only way…."


	27. Chapter 27

Surface:

Blackout kept checking against the locator grid. Bumblebee was proving, as he'd expected, an entirely disappointing buddy. He'd never realized how much he depended on Barricade to hold up his part of the conversation. The crabby grounder always had something to say. He didn't know why he was surprised: All the Autobots had been pretty disappointing in the snark department.

Blackout looked over at the yellow freak with another sigh. As much as Starscream and Barricade yapped, he never thought he'd be sick of a mech who didn't. Blessed, blessed silence quickly became annoying silence and then paranoiac worrisome silence.

The freaky yellow bot stopped suddenly, gesticulating wildly, flapping his scrawny arms up and down like he was trying to fly. No way. They were still a good half-cycle's walk away from the site. Blackout made a rude noise and started walking again. He hated walking, he decided. Reason that Primus gave copters rotors. So they didn't have to do this sort of trudging. He swore his toes were never going to be clean again. He had no idea how the grounders handled it. He looked up longingly at the sky, sorely tempted to rotor out on this annoying Autobot, who was now whining and bouncing in the low g after him.

"What?!" he yelled, finally, startling the 'bot back a step. "Look, I am just about sick of your bouncing. Makes me nauseous just watching you. Bouncy bouncy bouncy. Making me fraggin' crazy. Can't you walk like a normal mech? Can't you communicate? You're the most boring mech online." He stomped away, throwing over his shoulder, "That must be your secret weapon."

A weight hit his shoulder as the yellow Autobot launched himself at Blackout, tackling him. Blackout sprawled face-first into the dirt, so startled he hadn't even had time to throw a hand to catch his fall. He spun with all of his reflexes firing, pinning the Autobot under his bulk, swinging one arm around the mech's head.

"Try and offline me when I'm not looking, will you?" he snarled. The yellow bot bleated in his strange mechanical sound, flailing his arms, but not trying to escape. For a long moment they sat there. Blackout pushed to his feet, tossing the 'bot away from him in the light gravity. Couldn't sit there all day. Barricade and Starscream needed him. He didn't have time to mess around with the yellow idiot.

"Stay away from me, you yellow freak," he hissed, as Bumblebee approached again, this time cautiously, from the front, showing his open hands. "Settle with you later."

Bumblebee tapped his head with one finger.

"Yeah, slag right you're mental. That's why I want you to stay the frag away from me."

Bumblebee shook his head, pointing first at his head, then at Blackout's.

Comprehension. "No. Pit no. No fraggin' way I'm giving you my comm. freq."

Bumblebee squatted down, sweeping a flat spot in the light soil of the moon and traced a string of numbers. He pointed back at himself. His comm. freq.

Blackout sighed. Barricade would fry his circuits in public if he knew. He tapped the comm.

'_What?!' _

Bumblebee winced. _'You don't have to be so loud. I'm not deaf.'_

Blackout glared at him. _'What is so fraggin' important you've got to hold us up and try and murder me to tell me? Not to mention violate a few dozen security protocols on either side?'_ He folded his arms. _'This had better be good.' _

Bumblebee hung his head. _'Just lonely.'_

Blackout rolled his eyes. _'Cry me a river, Autobot. You think you know about lonely?'_ Blackout started walking again. He was going to be there for the rescue.

'_You miss your friends.' _

'_Stupid. Of course I do.'_

'_Why? Barricade is mean to you.' _

'_He's mean to everyone. Part of his charm. And he's the only one who can make Starscream stop acting like a hyper wrapped transistor coil. So what?' _

'_Nothing. Just…sounds like you have a lot of fun together. We don't talk like that to each other.' _

'_Yeah, fighting a war is real fun, Autobot.' _ Blackout frowned. _'We're all losers on my side. You kind of bond about how badly you've fragged things up. Before and after joining. Besides. You don't laugh at it, what can you do?' _

Bumblebee looked suddenly very serious. _'You seem really nice. Not like a 'con at all.'_

'_Don't expect me to say the same about you. You're all a bunch of smarmy sugar-coated glitches to me. Gack! Stop touching me!'_ The yellow mech had taken his hand. Blackout recoiled_. 'Look, uh, we don't have time for this. I mean, you're nice for an Autobot and all but…' _Blackout's eyes were frantic, as Bumblebee pulled him closer. Blackout liked the 'bot better when he was trying to kill him. This was getting weird. Seriously.

He stumbled, looked down. And saw that the yellow bot had been steering him away from stepping on a shiny-slick patch of frozen gas.

'_Primus, don't scare me like that!'_

Bee snickered. _'What? What did you think I was doing?' _ He asked eyes pools of bright blue fake innocence.

'_Never fragging mind. Are we there yet?'_ Blackout turned sheepishly back to their path, wincing at the mechanized giggling from the 'bot following behind him.

****

Ratchet and Optimus picked their way gingerly across the rocky landscape, now scarred horribly by the Ark's not so conventional landing. Luckily from what they could tell, the ship was more or less in one piece. Bit of repair work and the ship would be space-worthy.

Optimus was wary as they approached the ship. There was no way to know who had been piloting the ship or even if Sideswipe was still alive. He gestured silently to Ratchet, who begrudgingly held back as Optimus headed forward, his weapon drawn.

His worse fears were confirmed as Soundwave limped painfully toward him from the ship's rear hangar. The large 'con stopped and glared at him as Optimus aimed his weapon.

"Wait!... Don't shoot!" Sideswipe came scrambling out, almost running into Soundwave. He put his arms out and stood in front of the 'con, who to his credit actually looked surprised and grateful.

Optimus stared at Sideswipe, confused and irritated, his wounds not giving him much patience. "Sideswipe… Step aside, he's the reason the Ark has been grounded."

"No you don't understand--"

"What's to understand!?" Ratchet growled standing beside Optimus. "He's the fraggin' reason we almost lost the ship and his damn virus almost killed Prowl!"

Sideswipe cast a quick frown behind him at Soundwave. The 'con met his gaze, impassive. "I did not force anyone to try and remove the nanovirus."

Sideswipe turned back. "He's right… he was about to remove the virus before I ah… attacked him… this was just before Prowl linked with the ship…is he…?"

"He's okay. We think. We can't be sure until they get back onto the surface, but he's out of danger." Optimus replied lowering his weapon slightly as he headed forward.

"He went into stasis lock…? Frag…"

"Frag indeed…" Optimus looked down at the smaller mech. "Last time I checked, Soundwave was trying to kill us all, including the other Decepticons…" He cast a wary look towards the 'con before looking back at his subordinate. "You mind telling me what's changed?"

Sideswipe shuffled uncomfortably. "Yeah… he kinda saved my aft…"

"That I find hard to believe." Ratchet grumbled, ignoring the warning look from Optimus.

"I couldn't control the descent… he got inside it…well the computer with that mind control trick he does."

Optimus frowned and addressed Soundwave directly. "Why are you helping us?"

"Mission objective is to retrieve Neptunium. Impossible without a means to escape the surface. Mission success depends on cooperation."

Ratchet huffed and folded his arms. "Oh yeah and what does your boss say about this…?"

Soundwave shifted ever so slightly as he glanced at the medic. Rumble tapped his claws nervously against Soundwave's thigh. "Megatron has ordered destruction of collaborators and the Ark." No point in lying to them now; they'd find out soon enough. Honesty was sometimes Soundwave's most useful policy.

"And you're disobeying him? For you Soundwave I find that highly dubious." Optimus answered quietly, still trying to figure out Soundwave's purpose.

Soundwave straightened almost to attention. "I am loyal to Megatron. His orders however are…illogical and will result in mission failure."

"So what ARE you doing?" Ratchet asked just as confused as Optimus.

"Improvising." Soundwave answered blankly. "Collaboration is essential to mission success." The foolish Autobots had no idea how true those words were. They would find out as soon as the others broke out of their underground prison.

"I suppose that will have to do for now. You are not to interfere with the repair of the Ark Soundwave… thank you for saving Sideswipe but… I can't risk the Ark falling into Decepticon hands. I'm sure you understand."

"Logical choice for a leader. I would have off lined the enemy on sight to prevent sabotage."

Ratchet rolled his optics as Optimus blinked at the straight-talking 'con.

"That is, err…comforting." Optimus answered almost sardonically. "You stay with me, Soundwave. I need to inspect the damage to Teletraan and as it was your virus, if you'd be so kind…?"

Soundwave merely inclined his head without a word and fell into step beside Prime as they headed to the bridge.

Ratchet stared after them shaking his head. "It's like dealing with fraggin' Prowl talking to that 'con." He muttered unhappily. Sideswipe snorted a laugh.

"Yeah you can say that again. I swear I was ready to shoot myself in the head to escape all that logic."

Ratchet raised an optic ridge at him silently. "You youngling."

"Hey, I'm no--"

"You? You are going to show me what kind of slaggin' mess you've left my ship in."

Sideswipe folded his arms cockily. "Since when did it become your ship?" he smirked.

"Since you decided to forget how to fly the damn thing and started making pacts with 'cons. I swear you're all going to be the death of me." He grabbed Sideswipe's elbow firmly guiding the silver mech back into the ship. Sideswipe could only groan and roll his optics.

"Come on Ratchet. Not the lecture! I'm beginning to think death by Soundwave was the lesser of two evils!"


	28. Chapter 28

_A/N Super-hooray to Optimus Bob for giving me this tip on how to work around FFN's upload being down!! Reward: deceptisnark!_

Inside:

Prowl sat cross-legged on the floor watching Starscream and Ironhide fumble about each other awkwardly. He stared up at the ceiling, his optics blurred a little. Still feeling woozy from the nanovirus, Prowl bowed his head and rubbed his optics. When he opened them he was greeted by Stokes standing in front of him, arms folded with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Soooooo. Prowl. I hear you have an outstanding CPU ability to analyze pretty much any problem and come up with the best tactical solutions? Including producing code to counteract a nanovirus over a comm. Frequency, no less?"

Prowl simply stared at the small human, not entirely sure if he was actually being asked a question or being forced to make small talk. He did not do small talk.

"Your point, Lieutenant Stokes?"

The human shrugged and toyed absently with a tool he had used to fix Nadya's suit. "Oh you know. I was just wondering if I could umm; take a quick peek or something for…you know research?"

Prowl's optics widened. "I don't think so." Prowl remembered Optimus's directives back on Earth-not to let the humans have access to technology they could weaponize. He returned his gaze to watching Starscream bicker quietly with Ironhide, they had still yet to reach up and blow the planting holes in the ceiling. He felt a faint nudge on his knee joint. Glancing down, he frowned. Stokes had now seated himself on his knee and was randomly tapping at his armour plating.

"What are you doing?" His voice was clipped: the processor ache was getting worse.

"Well, I just thought…. we've helped you in all of this, you know, getting the Neptunium, having our ship destroyed by you guys no less, and uumm, you know generally putting up with all the snarky comments and anti-human vibes around here."

"We did not destroy your ship," Prowl started to protest.

Stokes shrugged him off. "I meant you robots in general. Anyway. My point is: it'd be nice to come away with you know…something from this mission?" He smiled a wide smile at Prowl, which made the mech uncomfortable.

"Huh, wish we were that lucky," Barricade drawled, his attention now drawn to the panicked expression on Prowl's face.

"I did not ask for your opinion, Barricade." He looked pleadingly at the 'con who snickered as Stokes continued to shift absently up Prowl's leg and continued his tapping now on his arm. Prowl rolled his optics with irritation.

"Phil Stokes… I must ask you desist with your tapping."

"You going to show me then?"

"No."

"Come on, Prowl…" Stokes was bouncing like a sparkling with excitement.

"I said no!"

"Prowl, you're going to make the human cry. And then you get to be the bad guy." Barricade muttered, sourly.

"I don't care… you're not helpi - aa…AAhh!" Prowl's voice went up with a squeak as Stokes prodded some circuits with his small tool.

"See? There you go: more anti-human sentiment." Stokes added blankly, shaking his head.

Prowl was indignant now. "I am not anti-human!"

"Sounds like it to me." Barricade cut in.

"You would be the resident expert," Ironhide snapped, from his vantage point above Starscream's head.

Prowl squeaked pleadingly as Stokes poked at the circuits in his arm again. "You, stop doing that!"

"Come on, Prowl! We can go to a nice quiet part of the cave if you're shy and don't want the 'cons to see."

Prowl gawped at the human and blinked a few times not entirely sure how to respond. Barricade burst out laughing which earned him a glare from Ironhide.

"You better not be laughing at us, 'con," he growled, his legs dangling over Starscream's head as the jet held him up, both looking distinctly unhappy.

"Believe it or not, you are not the focus of my attentions, Autobot."

Ironhide risked another look over at where Prowl was getting harassed by Stokes. He snorted laughter of his own. "Yeah, might have known…"

"What is going on? May I remind you that I can not stand here all day holding your aft, Ironhide?"

"Relax, Starscream, just watching how Barricade has gotten the human to flirt with Prowl for him. You know, 'Cade, you really should do your own dirty work." He grinned and went back to work on the ceiling as Barricade glowered at him.

Starscream chuckled. "So the human actually listened to me?"

"Seems so." Barricade shrugged.

"How is Prowl handling it?"

"Not well… he's about to fritz again any second...Or kill him."

"Oh." Starscream actually sounded disappointed. "Perhaps you had better rescue him, then. In case this newest ridiculous plan fails-as it inevitably will-I would like both Prowl and the human online for me to kill."

"No fraggin' way. If anyone goes out here it's Prowl. And you won't let me have any fun with Ironhide."

"Oh, believe me, Barricade, this is truly enviable 'fun'," Starscream muttered.

Barricade clamped his mouth shut as Prowl suddenly stood up and placed Stokes onto the ground not as gently as he should have.

"Hey watch it!" Stokes shouted up.

Prowl walked over to the slouched Barricade. "I know you had something to do with that."

"Noticed how much you like attention. Besides. Why should the Decepticon cause be the only one to suffer under the probing tools of the vicious humans? Could always go back to harassing you myself if you like?" He winked as he stood.

Prowl just tensed and hissed, frustrated, his fists clenched. "You… you're just insufferable!"

Barricade shrugged. "At least he wanted you for your mind."

Prowl's fists vibrated with emotion. He braced himself for a torrent of logic, to convince Barricade once and for all that these little pranks were illogical and obstructionist.

Barricade winced as a loud crash aborted the tactician's mild tantrum. They both turned to stare at the two mechs who now lay in a crumpled heap on the floor accompanied by a shower of the grey brown stone of the mine's walls. Starscream shoved Ironhide off his head and sat up. "This is intolerable," he shrieked.

Ironhide grunted as he sat up. "Uumm yeah could someone pass me the detonator cord?"

"Only if you're going to blow yourself up with it," Barricade said, darkly. He moved to help Starscream back to his feet.

'What happened?' he asked, subvoc.

'He did not warn me of when he was going to fire and the weapon's recoil threw me off-balance.' The jet sounded equal parts embarrassed as outraged.

'You okay?'

'My system alarms have not changed.' Starscream pushed heavily against Barricade to get to his feet. 'I suppose we shall have to try again.'

The Autobot was complaining loudly to Prowl about the jet's inability to hold him steady. Barricade was already pissed off, and that, for some reason, pushed him over the edge. He grabbed the larger Autobot, hooking two of his talons under a chest plate and dragging the mech back until he hit the wall, Nadya and Stokes scurrying out of the way. "Listen," he hissed. "You can do this your way or my way." His eyes flashed white again. "It would be so worth it to me."

"I'd fraggin' kill you fi-" Ironhide's body jerked upright, as if yanked on strings descending from the ceiling.

"Really?" Barricade said, standing back. "'M a little rusty so I'd have to hack you for CYCLES to get the precision I need." Ironhide found himself walking forward, stiffly; his joints moving slowly even through the red-lighted alarms from his injured leg, arms swinging in straight arcs like a toy soldier's. He tried to protest, but Barricade had cut controls to his main vocalizer.

And just like that, he had control again. He sagged to the floor, gasping, not trusting anything to work.

"So," Barricade said. "Your way? But maybe a little nicer this time?"

"Go frag yourself." He got to his feet, shakily.

Stokes turned to Nadya. "Screw comm! I want to know how they do THAT!"


	29. Chapter 29

*****

Blackout motioned Bumblebee to a halt. "We're here," he said, aloud. Here was a completely nondescript patch of moon surface, but the coordinates were right. "They must not have blown themselves out yet. Or something." He hoped the former. Too many unpleasant options in 'or something'. Especially with Barricade back online. He nodded at the yellow mech. "Guess we should call them, huh?"

Bee nodded, eagerly.

"Right." Blackout tapped his comm. "Barricade?"

"What the-oh, sweet lady of used motor oil, it's you."

Blackout's face fell. Guess he remembered that we weren't speaking, he thought, sadly. "Yeah. We're here." Maybe if he went all-business, Barricade would warm up to him again.

"One, who the frag is 'we' and two, where the frag is 'here'?"

"Me and the yellow Autobot, and right above you?"

"Move the frag back. We're about to blow it."

"How far back?" Blackout gestured frantically at Bumblebee, shooing him away.

"Away. You, all the way back to where I never have to see you again. Suspect you've probably spilled everything from our freq codes," Blackout flinched, guiltily, "to the recipe for Megatron's special external joint lubricant by now."

"I haven't! I swear!"

"Whatever. Just go. We'll get ourselves out." The comm cut. Blackout stood, numb. He would have stayed there for cycles if Bumblebee hadn't come back and dragged him away by the hands.

*****

"You should be nicer to Blackout," Starscream admonished, over non-subvoc'd comm. "He is doing his best."

"I AM being nice to the fraggin' copter," Barricade snapped. "I told you to delay the detonation, didn't I?"

"Wow," Stokes said, "remind me never to get on YOUR bad side."

"You permanently exist on my fraggin' bad side, human." How had he gotten stuck with the humans again? They had split up-Prowl with Starscream, Ironhide by himself, and Barricade with the humans-in separate areas, so that if one team got to the surface, they could dig out the other. And somehow, Barricade had gotten stuck with the damn humans again. If this was some Autobot gesture of trust, he thought, he could definitely live without. Still, he supposed it was something that Prowl didn't trust the humans with Ironhide. Though…it wasn't much of a 'something.' Not when Stokes kept creeping around behind where Barricade crouched toward the mouth of the tunnel, his pitiful little human flashlight scraping eagerly up and down Barricade's armor. No. More likely Prowl was punishing him for having sic'd Stokes on him.

"Touch me and die, human," Barricade snapped. "You think I won't blame the rockfall and get away with it?"

"I'll tell," Nadya said, defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Kill you too, you know, female."

"No, you wouldn't," she challenged. He was going to be sexist? She could use it against him. "I'm a pathetic female, remember?"

He glared down at her, growling. "Just-just keep him away from me."

"How much longer do we have to wait?" Starscream complained. "This tunnel is very narrow and I am getting cramps in my upper thigh servos."

"You're standing right next to him, ask Prowl," Barricade muttered. "Got nothing to do with it. Only reason I want out, knowing that copter's out there, is that he's slightly better than these humans. Least he smells better."

"He does smell good," Starscream said. "Especially after a thunderstorm if he's been flying in it. All…ionized," the jet purred.

"Starscream?"

"Yes?"

"Too much information," Barricade muttered. "And I suspect he smells like Autobot by now."

"We can rectify that."

"Too much information," Barricade sang. "Prowl, can we please just do this already? Before we hear all the details?"

"I have enough problems with nightmares already," Ironhide muttered. "So, for once, I agree with the damn 'con."

"Everyone stop bickering!" Prowl was just about at the last of his patience. "All right. Countdown in 10, 9, 8, 7…."

*****

The explosion shot a tower of pulverized stone into the moon's low gravity, startling Blackout and Bumblebee where they crouched behind an outcrop of stone. They hadn't gotten far enough away: the ground cracked under Blackout's feet, and he had a sickening flashback.

No. Not this time. "Grab on, Booble!" he shouted, throwing himself skyward. His rotor engine wasn't at 100%, and he was short one rotor, but he could grab enough air in the low-g to do some good. The yellow Autobot jumped up, snagging the copter's frame just as the ground underneath them gave way. Blackout hovered, rotating, around the edge of the explosion. It took forever, it seemed, to die down. First the noise, and then the light, and then, last, the slow-falling debris. They could see nothing in the hole-it looked more like a hole, expertly punched in the crust of the moon-than a crater, though part of the roof had collapsed inward. For a long moment, they hovered.

Bumblebee whirred excitedly, pointing with one hanging foot. Movement in the hole-Prowl clambering over the lip, his white and black armor high contrast against the dull surface of the moon. Behind him, the larger shape of Starscream, using his jets to boost, walking his hands up the sides of the hole.

Then, nothing. The yellow Autobot whined again, and Blackout circled in for a landing, pausing to let Bee hop down. They moved to the pair, Bumblebee tripping over one of Starscream's extended legs as he tried to race to Prowl.

"Who is this? Identify yourself or die!" Starscream's operational chain gun target locked on the yellow 'bot, who froze in his tracks.

"Stop it," Blackout said. "It's me."

"This," Starscream hoisted his weapon to indicate the Autobot, "is not you."

"That's Beebleboob. He's okay."

"Beebleboob? That has to be the most idiotic Autobot name they have ever struck." Starscream lowered his weapon. Bee moved over to Prowl.

"No, I think that's Drillnutz."

"No, that is not idiotic: that is obscene. A key distinction. I take it you are well?"

"Been better." Blackout helped Starscream to his feet. "Still blind?"

"Yes." Starscream rested his hand on one of Blackout's shoulders. "It is good to be with someone who is not a midget."

"Tell me about it."

"Where are the others?" Prowl interrupted. The climb had exhausted him-fighting the nanovirus had taken much of his endurance. Bee helped him to his feet.

***|**

Ironhide felt his intakes wheezing as the grey, fine dust clogged up his vents. Taking a moment he dared a glance back down the cave wall.

The ground loomed away from him. Letting out a faint groan, Ironhide clutched onto the rock face tightly. His optics catching sight of the pale blue trail of energon he'd left on the rocks as he'd climbed. Glancing at his leg he winced as the sharp stabbing pain returned. His wound was open again and energon now stained his black armour. He felt about ready to purge his tanks.

Voices hollered above him, he squinted his optics against the artificial light shining down on him. He could just make out the silhouettes of Prowl and Bumblebee.

The noise of shifting rock and cursing distracted him, taking one last look at the bottom, he saw Barricade hauling himself out of the gravel, two humans clutching desperately to his shoulders.

Ironhide growled, he was not going to be beaten by a fraggin' mountain. He eyed the next hand hold, having to brace himself on his bad leg he pushed himself up letting out a sharp holler as his injury screamed at him. Hissing through clenched denta he kept pushing up and up, he could do this. Looking up he snarled, reaching for the next outcropping, he stretched out his arm, tentatively reaching for the lip of rock that was the surface.

Without warning, his bad leg went numb and gave way. A cry of surprise escaped his vocaliser as the lip slipped from his fingers. He shuttered his optics as he felt the brief lurch of weightlessness grab hold before he plummeted. A sharp jolt in his arm snapped him to his senses.

His optics met the steady gaze of Prowl's, who cast him a thin smile. He gasped as Prowl's double handed grip on his arm tightened. He hauled him over the lip, Bumblebee reached down, helping to pull Ironhide onto the surface.

With one last yelp of pain as his leg scraped over the side, the three mechs fell back onto the moon's surface.

Bumblebee bleeped wearily. "Primus Ironhide, did you put on weight?" Bumblebee chuckled on the open comm. as Ironhide let out a groan and flailed his arm out to the side weakly into Bumblebee's midriff as they lay on their backs in the dust.

"Watch it youngling, or you'll find yourself needing to learn to fly real quick." He retorted out loud.

Prowl was the first up, perching in a crouch near the edge of the cave, he peered down into the black hole. "Ironhide I'm surprised to hear you're sensitive about your weight." He shot him a dry look over his shoulder, the tiniest of smirks on his face as Ironhide gawped at him.

"Frag off Prowl." Ironhide wheezed, slumping back onto his back growling at Bumblebee's incessant giggling at the impromptu joke from the unlikely Prowl.


	30. Chapter 30

_A/N: Yay, more plot complications upcoming!! Barricade does something nice, and Optimus has a standoff with Soundwave. Enjoy!_

Barricade muttered, shoving aside another mountain of rock chips. If the moon hadn't been so cold, this would have melted into slag. Which would have presented its own problems, but he couldn't help but think that it had to be better than gravel-removal. One great thing about life among the Decepticons: always something new to complain about. The humans crowded between his legs-like that wasn't freaky-as he dug.

"Are we getting any closer?" Stokes whined.

"No, I am just shifting rock around for fun," Barricade snapped. Ah! Right there-less pressure, less force crushing the stones against each other. He punched at it, and…the thin glimmer of light poured through. Stokes and Nadya hugged each other-well, Stokes hugged Nadya and bounced up and down holding her, and she didn't punch him in the faceplate.

Barricade stood. Sighed. "Let's go." He scooped them up, kicking the rest of the way through the hole. Now, all they had to do was climb…the…pile…of…holy Primus's used gaskets. That's how much rock they'd had above them? No wonder no one else's comm could reach. He saw Ironhide ahead of him, picking his way up the rockslope. Fine. That looked good enough. He'd just make sure he didn't look up too often-Autobot aft not being his favorite view.

He made a noise of distaste. "All right, humans, climb on. Let's get this over with." His voice was impatient. Please, he thought, may no one see him toting the humans. They settled themselves across his shoulders, hands and feet braced in chinks in his armor.

He began the climb. The first few lengths went well-the larger rocks had fallen to the bottom, and his toe plates found easy purchase. The higher he went, the finer the stone, and his talons began digging out fine grit instead of finding handholds. If he'd had blunter fingers, like the Autobot models, he'd have been better off.

He slipped, twice, hearing the humans cry out in disgusting organic stereo in his audio pickups. Nadya leaned forward, offering her advice as to where he should reach next.

As if that wasn't annoying enough (because, really, why put a quota on annoyance?) after a while he heard more noises, from above, and looked up to see Prowl and one of the irritating yellow Autobots looking down at him, helping haul Ironhide's clumsy frame over the lip. The yellow one blurped at him.

He was almost at the lip himself when his foot slipped, tearing his hand out of its sunken grip. Stone showered down underneath him, a miniature avalanche, and Barricade found himself clinging with both talons to a large projection of stone, like a horn, about his own height down from the lip, his legs dangling in suddenly empty air.

"Right," he snarled, "Humans, get off me."

"Get off you where?"

"No real preference from me: not like you could cushion my fall or anything."

"Up there!" Nadya pointed to the horn of stone. "Can we climb up your arms?"

"Shut up and do it already. This isn't one of your stupid Autobot tea parties!"

They raced up his arms to the top of the projection. The yellow Autobot slithered down the lip's slope, his ankle tires held firm by Prowl and…someone else, as he caught up the two humans.

Now, Barricade thought, only I am stuck. Great. He swung his legs, trying to make contact with stone. No such luck. He was suspended, midair. And, he noticed, with a sickening lurch of his gyros, his swinging had caused the horn of stone to rock, loosening it in its setting.

He felt something like panic, grabbing frantically to try to get a more secure handhold on the stone-as if that would help anything if they both fell tumbling…how many Barricade-lengths down into the hole? Noise roared in his audio-his auxiliary power kicking on, trying to supplement the force in his grasping arms. He felt something like regret. Mainly that his last act was to have saved two humans. He felt his talons loosen in the stone, sliding out of the piton-like holes he had jammed into the rock. He scrabbled, straining his shoulder servos, which failed abruptly.

And he fell.

And then, another roar, and a frame-jarring sound as he slammed against one of Blackout's missile carrier arms. The copter slued sideways in midair, more or less throwing Barricade into his cargo bay. Barricade lay, shaking, in the copter until he felt the copter's wheels touch ground and the rotor spin down.

"Barricade?" Blackout said, his voice full of remorse. "I'm really sorry. You know, about before."

"Shut up," he snarled, but his voice was thready. "So not the time for that."

"I mean, I was just trying to help. And I felt really bad that you did that and then I couldn't do my par-"

"Shut. Up. You're ruining the moment."

"Anyway, I just wanted…I just wanted to apologize."

Moron fraggin' copter. You saved my fraggin' life, so you could apologize. Primus. "Fine," he muttered, sprawling against the floor, letting himself feel, for a brief moment, safe. "Just don't hug me."

*****

Ark:

Optimus was wary of Soundwave who stood some way apart from him as he worked on Teletraan 1.

"Primus, Soundwave, what was that virus supposed to do? The entire system has gone into lockdown."

"Virus's purpose was to wipe mainframe and self destruct the internal CPU."

Optimus's mouth fell open beneath his face mask. "That's a little extreme, don't you think?"

A single red optic flicked towards him beneath the partially shattered visor. "Maximum destruction was warranted."

Optimus turned back to the console. "Well, it's always good to know where you stand, I suppose." He muttered quietly. Louder; "What effect is it likely to have on Prowl?"

He glanced over his shoulder at the ensuing silence.

"Effect unknown: nanovirus is programmed for destruction. He should not have survived."

Optimus allowed himself a hidden smirk at the almost perplexed expression on Soundwave's face. Maybe not so hidden: the small cassetticon glowered at him, fists bracing as though he were going to take on Optimus all by himself.

"His CPU would require extensive analysis to determine why he is still online." Soundwave continued blandly.

'Because I'm going to let that happen.' Optimus thought to himself as he ignored the comment. He was becoming increasingly frustrated with the computer. Teletraan was fire walling him at every attempt to input his command codes. This was not his area of expertise. His comm. buzzed interrupting his train of thought.

"Go ahead."

"Prime, it is a relief to finally be able to contact you directly."

"Likewise Prowl, what's your status?"

"We have cleared the cave. We had a minor mishap with Barricade and Ironhide requires medical attention. We are due to head to the location of the Ark shortly."

"Good. Will Blackout not provide an air lift for Ironhide so we can get him to Ratchet faster?"

Optimus waited as he heard murmurs of voices over the comm.

"That is to be discussed. Starscream also requires treatment; would Ratchet be willing to examine him?"

Optimus frowned as Starscream obviously muttered some objection over the comm. He listened to Prowl respond patiently.

"He will help you Starscream, it is only logical that you seek repairs before the damage becomes irreversible."

"Problems?" Optimus interrupted casually.

"They are… manageable." Prowl was guarded as he spoke, it was the closest Prowl ever came to complaining. "We shall be some time, Starscream requires guidance, he is blind."

"I see." Optimus winced at the unintentional pun. "What's your ETA?"

"Approximately a half cycle."

"Understood, I will have Ratchet prepare his med bay to receive two patients."

"Thank you, Prime. Prowl out."


	31. Chapter 31

_A/N Updates slowing down because real life sucking the time away! But it continues! Sorry about missing updating Saturday. I need to write this on a calendar or something. Hope y'all had a good Valentine's day! _

"You did not have to do that, Autobot; I prefer to wait until we return to our own facilities to be treated."

"Starscream, if your optics are not repaired or replaced soon your self-repair mechanisms will heal the neural wires without them and you will remain permanently blind. Ratchet is more than a competent medic; he will be able to help you."

"If he doesn't offline you first," Blackout mumbled quietly. Barricade shot him a look.

Ironhide sniggered as he caught Prowl rolling his optics discreetly. It took both Prowl and Bumblebee to help him to his feet.

"I'm not goin' in that fraggin' copter. His damn rotor that damaged leg in the first place" He grumbled, obviously in discomfort and pain.

"No one's asking you to." Blackout retorted. "Not your slaggin' taxi. Might want to consider how I lost my rotor?"

"I'm with the copter," Barricade said. "Let the Attitude in a Can drag his sorry crankcase himself. What a shame if he didn't make it."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"No idea how much, Autobot." His eyes flickered white again. "OOORRRRRR, I could help you walk."

"Fine." Prowl uttered finally losing patience. "Can we please just head to the Ark now, without killing each other?"

"Can't promise anything, Prowl." Ironhide stated as he leaned on Bumblebee for support.

Starscream reached out gingerly for support, he took a couple of shaky steps forward and grabbed onto Prowl's shoulder before he tripped over the uneven surface. Prowl winced as his clawed hand dug in with relief at the support. He patted it gently, allowing Starscream to loosen his grip before he moved.

"Blackout, I believe you have the location of the Ark's landing."

"I do, " he answered smugly, setting off to lead the way.

"Stuck with the humans again." Barricade muttered unhappily.

"Admit it, we're not that bad." Stokes grinned as Barricade let out a low growl of annoyance.

//I do not like this.// Starscream sent over mission commnet.

//The medic? Are you going to snivel as much as the fraggin' copter?//

//Hey!// Blackout shot them a dirty look over his shoulder.

//I was referring to meeting up with yet more Autobots. Right now we are still evenly matched in numbers.//

//I thought you were the one who said we needed a ship to get off this fraggin' moon. You want to jump them now?//

//No. I am in no condition to fight. I was merely suggesting that when we arrive, we keep our guards up. And stay together.//

//They're not that bad. Well, other than the medic. Buzzybutt's okay.//

//The yellow one?! He's bouncier than Dead End.//

//He's not so bad. The other two…. Guh!//

//Blackout, do not think you will be able to convince us that you have suffered more grievously than we.//

//Wasn't trying to. Just sayin', actually, Boob isn't that bad. Y'know. For a slaggin' filthy Autobot.//

//At least he is quiet.// Starscream said, snidely.

*****

The Ark

Rumble pulled Soundwave aside. "Boss, what are we going to do? The virus didn't work."

"Do not worry, Rumble. There is one last gambit to be played before we concede defeat."

"You know I don't like that word, boss."

"I am aware. We shall do our best to avoid it, then."

"Don't like the big one. He's got a smart mouth."

"Rumble, you shall discover that a smart mouth often covers a not-so-smart mind."

"Hey!" Sideswipe ambled over, a little too loudly. "What are you two chatting about?"

"Rumble is afraid. I am merely attempting to soothe his anxiety." Rumble shot Soundwave a hot look, but subsided into a suitable 'frightened cringe'. They'd used it enough times in front of Megatron that it was almost automatic.

"Yeah? What's he so scared of?"

"Well, Autobot, you are all larger than he is. And we are currently outnumbered. It is not illogical to assume that you might take advantage of that fact."

"We're Autobots!" Sideswipe exclaimed. "We don't do that."

"Perhaps you have simply never been caught 'doing that'."

"Your friends are coming to join us. Be pretty dumb for us to try anything."

"By 'our friends' you mean the other Decepticons." Soundwave's neutral voice made it sound idiotic. "And it would be entirely plausible to them to hear that Rumble had perished during the crash, or in some…related incident."

Sideswipe looked disgusted. "We're not like that," he repeated.

Ratchet ambled over from where he had been watching Optimus try to get the authorization codes to work. "Not like what?"

"Not like them."

"That's for sure." Ratchet glared at Soundwave. Infecting Teletraan. What was he thinking? He could have, at the very least, gotten them all killed. "We place value on life. ALL life. Including 'cons."

"That," Soundwave said, enigmatically, "remains to be seen."

*****

"Frag it!" Barricade jumped out of the way as Ironhide collapsed in front of him. Then he cursed again as the low gee sent him spinning away. Then, just because apparently Primus's favorite number was three, he cursed a third time, as the yellow Autobot bounced handily from the surface and caught him.

He shook the yellow freak's paws off him as soon as his feet were on the ground. He crossed over to where Starscream hunched, without looking back at the yellow weirdo. "Me," he announced. "What's the excitement?"

"Prowl is trying to convince Blackout to carry Ironhide again."

"How are you holding up?"

"I admit that the medic's words alarm me. I do not wish to be permanently blind."

"Our repair bots can fix anything," Barricade said, confidently.

"There is, however, the matter of getting me to the repair bots." A nervous flutter of his hands. "Or vice versa."

Barricade stared at where Prowl was gesticulating patiently with Blackout, the yellow mech now kneeling silently over Ironhide. He didn't give half a hard-drive about Ironhide. And Starscream was prone to…well, histrionics. But the jet had been fairly, well, for him, patient about it, and the prospect of being permanently blind…. Worse, Barricade thought, the humiliation he'd have to face being somehow towed or dragged back to the Nemesis.

"Hey, Blackout?" he called. "I know you're all eager to make friends with Prowlie here, and we did kind of warn you he was irresistible, but maybe we could get this over with if we just gave in graciously, ONCE AGAIN, and you flew the useless pile of slag." He shrugged. "You know, it's up to you, though." He felt kind of bad. The damn copter had saved his fraggin' life, even after he'd treated him like rancid oil. And the fraggin' rotor-headed moron always wanted to be so glitchin' helpful all the time.

//You mean it?//

Primus, Barricade swore, watching Blackout's face light up. Blackout, The Helpful Decepticon.

He couldn't help a smile from crossing his face. Fraggin' idiot copter.


	32. Chapter 32

_A/N Sorry for delay. Real life and other pursuits are taking time from my co-author, and either I write the whole thing myself, or…we run closer to the edge than I'm really comfortable with. The first option defeats the whole purpose of the story and the second, well, that's me and my issues. I'm sure plenty of authors have NO cushion between what they write and what they post. I'll get over it. _

****

Nadya and Stokes stood patiently by Bumblebee as he helped Ironhide sit up.

"Is he going to be alright?" Nadya asked Bumblebee softly earning a scowl from the black mech.

"I am going to be fine. Wish everyone would stop fawning over me." Ironhide grumbled batting Bumblebee's helpful hand away as he stood slowly, grimacing as more energon spilled onto the floor.

Prowl came over and held out his hand to the two humans. "Blackout has agreed to fly you to the Ark, Ironhide."

"I'm not gettin' in that fraggin' copter and leavin' you with them."

Prowl narrowed his optics, features remaining stern as he tried to keep hold of his patience. "Ironhide I am tired of debating with you. Get on board please."

Ironhide glared at the black and white who held his gaze impassively. Prowl was not going to back down and his clipped tone was more than enough warning for Ironhide not to argue. Grumbling he climbed on board the waiting 'con and took hold tightly as Blackout soared into the air rapidly in the low g.

*****

Ratchet stood at the lower hangar as Blackout approached on the horizon. His rotors kicked up the steely grey dust as he landed. Ratchet sighed as he heard Ironhide's cursing over the rotor hum. Making his way through the billowing dust Ratchet almost tripped over Ironhide's splayed out leg as he lay face down in the dust. The medic opened his mouth and glanced up at Blackout who looked a little sheepish.

"He got impatient, tried to get out before I'd landed, he fell… I totally didn't touch him."

Ratchet grumbled. That certainly sounded like Ironhide. And it didn't sound like Blackout's style, anyway. Ironhide groaned as Ratchet relaxed into a snide snigger. Lifting the large mech up with Blackout's help, they half carried, half dragged him back to the Ark. "Well, that serves you right doesn't Ironhide? Never listen to the slaggin' medic, it's a wonder you still have limbs."

"He's worse than Barricade," Blackout offered, figuring that anything that compared Ironhide unfavorably to the grounder was bound to get him riled. Blackout was a little miffed that the Autobot didn't trust him to fly. The entire trip, Ironhide had been commenting about his altitiude, his groundspeed, his rotor vector…it got irritating.

"And worse than you," Ratchet agreed, smirking as Ironhide's face twisted with outrage.

Blackout snickered to himself; at least it wasn't just him that befell to the medic's snark. Even his own faction had to suffer his clearly defective programming. Ratchet guided Ironhide inside. Glancing over his shoulder he gave the 'copter a quick nod. "Wait here for the others; they shouldn't be long. Sideswipe should be out shortly."

Was that a good thing? Sideswipe? Blackout shrugged. He did want to watch more of Ironhide getting the worse end of Ratchet's 'skills', but didn't trust Ratchet not to come after him again. Hanging out with Barricade made paranoia a bit contagious.

Blackout gladly obliged he did not have any desire to inflict the medic on himself any longer than he absolutely had to. He did not however relish spending time with yet another Autobot who was probably just as if not more so annoying than Beeblebore.

Sideswipe turned out not to look so thrilled to see him either.

"Where's Soundwave?" he asked after a few moment of insufferable silence.

Sideswipe gestured back into the Ark. "He's busy with Prime. You get to wait here."

"What, afraid we'll take over the ship?" Blackout snorted unaware of how very present that thought was on each Autobot's mind. "Yeah, it's totally a worthy prize right now. Thanks to your excellent piloting." Grounders, he thought, should never try to fly. Look at the mess they made.

Sideswipe simply resorted to folding his arms and returning to uncomfortable silence.

Blackout sighed, the 'bots really couldn't take a joke, at least the yellow idiot had no aversion to talking to him.

*****

A quarter-cycle later, the wreckage of the ship hove into view. Barricade's capacitor stalled at the sight. //Hey, Starscream? Abandon all hope of hitching a ride on this.//

A sigh and the jet tensed his hand against Barricade's arm tires. //I had feared as much. Soundwave can be thorough. Where is he?//

//Must be inside with Ironhide. Blackout's waiting for us.// Out loud, Barricade said, "Oh look, Astronaut Stokes, new technology!"

Stokes scuttled off toward the ship, dragging Nadya with him, burbling excitedly.

Blackout stood outside of the wreckage of the ship, exchanging mutually wary glares with Sideswipe. Barricade sidled over, dragging Starscream with him. Just to make a point. Sideswipe glared back.

"What's up, Blackout," Barricade said, conversationally.

"Won't let me go talk to Soundwave."

"Of course not!" Sideswipe sounded outraged at the idea.

"Why not? He let you talk to Ironhide?" Barricade crossed his arms over his chassis. Behind him, Starscream hissed. He could make an impression, when he wanted to: Barricade was gratified to see Sideswipe shrink back for a moment.

Sideswipe rallied, though. "Right, not afraid of you, Starscream. Especially blind."

Starscream's hiss turned to a dangerous growl. "I would show some respect, Autobot. We were instrumental in helping your friends escape."

"Yeah, let's see. We had the maps, the surface comm., the geolocator, and the det cord. You provided the psychotic Ironhide and the…" Barricade trailed off, showily. "Huh. Starscream, what did the Autobots contribute?"

"I suspect that the constant irritation they provided may have kept us moving at some points. Beyond that, however, Prowl made a fairly good armrest." He smiled. Even blind, he could imagine Sideswipe's seethe.

"You shut up, 'con," Sideswipe said, unsheathing one of his energon blades.

They heard muttering from inside the ship. "Ratchet," Blackout explained.

"You stay outta…EVERYTHING!" Ratchet's voice echoed from the ship, "Fraggin' human curiosity!"

"Ah yes, the Autobot honor, attacking a poor, injured, innocent Decepticon for merely stating a contrary opinion."

Sideswipe, at the edge of his legendarily-short temper, lunged at Starscream, howling. Blackout caught him around the waist, swinging him high into the low gee. Sideswipe cursed, tumbling wildly in the air.

"Hunh," Blackout grunted. "At least you didn't get all the LECTURES. That's why I like Bartleby: at least he's quiet."

"Quiet would be nice," Ratchet grumped, appearing in the doorway. "I am trying to work in here. Also, who sic'd the fraggin' humans on me?"

Barricade pointed at Prowl. "We brought you more business," Barricade said, cheerily. "Bet you always wanted to paw the jet-ow!" Starscream swung at Barricade, his back-hand spines catching Barricade's upper arm tires. "What?" Barricade said, rubbing his tire, aggrieved. "Everyone else does."

"Barricade, try not to project your hopeless and unrequited attraction to me onto every mech. It is embarrassing."

Blackout started snickering.

"Shut up, copter." Barricade frowned.

Ratchet jumped down to the ground, looking up at Starscream. "Can you get down here?" He planted his hands on his hips, huffing impatiently as Starscream settled himself awkwardly on the ground. Ratchet pulled some sort of tool from his storage, peering into Starscream's optics, shining a bright light at the optical sensor at the back. He grunted.

"These are not comforting sounds," Starscream muttered.

Blackout chimed in, "I told you so. Repair bots? MUCH better."

"Not a good idea," Ratchet said, blithely, "to disrespect the medic who fixed you. And will shortly be up to his wrist servos in your friend's optical relays."

Starscream gave a terrified squeak, jerking his head back.

"Frag it!" Ratchet swore. "Gonna have to take you inside and offline you."

"Off-lii--?" Starscream's useless optics rolled skyward. He slumped heavily on his engines, kicking up a cloud of dust.

Barricade coughed at the dust. "Thought we went over this, Autobot. Offline?"

"Oh, right," Ratchet said, sarcastically. "I forgot how sensitive you all are."

****

Sideswipe was promptly dragged inside the Ark by a now highly irritated Prowl who had observed his unprovoked attack from a distance as he arrived at the ship. He was in the process of giving him a severe dressing down as Ratchet stormed past, his grip firmly clamped around the arm of a gloomy looking Starscream. Despite the jet being a few feet taller than the medic, he had no choice but to go where the 'bot guided him.

Prowl and Sideswipe just watched as Barricade and Blackout trailed behind, bickering amongst themselves, when Barricade noticed their gaze and pursed his mouth and blew Prowl a kiss, mocking the human gesture awkwardly at best. The two humans caught this as they hovered around and Stokes immediately began sniggering.

Sideswipe frowned in confusion. "Did he just?"

"Don't." Prowl interrupted shaking his head. "Just don't."

Sideswipe smirked and raised his brow in disbelief at the 'cons continued bickering. "Are they always like that?"

Prowl let out a barely audible sigh. "You have no idea."

Sideswipe cast a sidelong glance at Prowl. "You had fun down there then, I take it?" He grinned as Prowl gave him a dark look.

"Hardly."

"Not what it looks like." Sideswipe grinned. Prowl uncomfortable? Fun. He'd have to tell Sunny about this. As soon as he figure out what this was actually all about.

Prowl's optics narrowed at the retreating silver mech. "What ever you're presuming is greatly exaggerated, I assure you." Prowl fell into step beside Sideswipe. "So much so that I realized I prefer spending time with you, although even that is debatable."

Sideswipe's grin faltered, shooting a look at Prowl he frowned at the faint smirk tugging at Prowl's mouth. "Oh now you decide to grow a sense of humour? I think being around the 'cons has mellowed you, Prowl."

****

"So," Stokes said, "He said we had to stay out of everything. He didn't mean the ventilation ducts."

"Ventilation ducts are a something," Nadya said, crawling after him. She didn't know quite why she was following him-oh, wait, because he'd get into trouble and would eventually need her help to get out.

"Something isn't the same as 'everything', Nadya," Stokes said, coolly, "Maybe your English isn't so khorosho, da?"

She glared at his backside for all the good it did. "So, we have a plan, yes? Or are you planning on simply getting us lost forever in the ship?"

Stokes paused to shoot her a pained look. She bumped into his ankle from the sudden stop. "Of COURSE I have a plan. When have I not had a plan?"

As far as she knew, always. "So, you are going to tell me this plan?"

"Just waiting to build up a little mystery, you know. Anyway, we're running low on O2. This is the ventilation shaft. We know they CAN generate breathable human atmosphere on their ships, so…"

"We trace it back to the main system and…? But how do we know we're going the right way?"

"See, that's what's wrong with you Russkies. That whole pioneer spirit, exploration, boldly going where no man has gone before…."

"The last is from a television show, Stokes," Nadya said. Russians were plenty good explorers. "We beat you into space, didn't we?"

"Oh, that dog? Whatever."

Nadya rolled her eyes. There was a reason he was a science expert and not a diplomat. "So we just wander, I mean, explore aimlessly?"

"No," he said, derisively. "We wander and sooner or later this duct will run into a larger one. We follow the larger ducts to the core. Bingo."

What if we're going the wrong way? She wanted to ask. But she knew he'd just say something about turning around. Oh, she was beginning to see the police car's point about Stokes. He was…hurtable.


	33. Chapter 33

Optimus was getting frustrated with the ship's computer. Firewalls were being thrown up at every attempt he made to re-initialize the system. Soundwave wasn't much help. The visored mech stood to one side, expression blank, stance un-threatening. That in itself had Optimus on edge. Soundwave was a difficult mech to predict in the best of circumstances. It didn't help that his audio buzzed faintly with the tell tale signal of an internal comm.

Glancing over his shoulder he spied Rumble smirking in his direction. His concentration was broken by Sideswipe goading Prowl as they entered the bridge. He was glad for the familiar company.

"Prowl, it's good to see you well. What's the status?"

"Likewise, sir. The 'cons are currently with Ratchet in the med-bay. Starscream requires extensive rep -repairs and Ironhide is…" Prowl frowned and shook his head, distracted. "He is…"

Optimus's concern grew as Prowl reached up to grab his head. "Prowl, what's wrong?"

Prowl grimaced, in obvious pain. His head was filling with a debilitating ache. Something had come online in his cortex; he could feel it. It was starting to break down his internal firewalls from the inside.

"Prowl?" Optimus repeated, placing a hand on the mech's shoulder to steady him as he bent double.

Prowl let out a digitized whine, his optics shot up to glare at Prime. Optimus drew back sharply as they flickered from blue to red and back to blue.

"Run." Prowl rasped.

"What?"

Sideswipe was beside his leader, his hand resting on Prowl's other shoulder. "Prime, what's happening?"

Optimus shook his head his gaze fixed on Prowl.

"Please go before I…I." Prowl let out a cry that startled both 'bots.

Sideswipe didn't know what hit him when the tactician finally moved. He howled as cables in his wrist snapped. The ground flew away from him as he was hurled into the forward viewer. He landed heavily, grunting as his full weight collapsed onto his broken arm. He could hear commotion throughout the bridge. Optimus let out a holler of pain. A loud crash snapped Sideswipe from his daze. On-lining his optics he gasped in horror at the sight of Prowl ruthlessly attacking an already-injured Optimus.

Being the tactician, Prowl had already incapacitated Prime's legs, driving him into the floor, and had thrown himself onto his back as the larger mech tried to crawl away.

Sideswipe felt a jolt of fear at the menacing snarl that escaped Prowl's vocaliser. Scrabbling to his feet he launched himself at the SIC, only to hit the solid mass of metal that was Soundwave.

Rumble went in for the kill, clawing fiercely at Sideswipe's chassis while Soundwave returned his attentions to the two struggling 'bots on the floor.

Optimus was putting up a valiant fight but was weakening rapidly, Prowl had gone straight for his earlier injury and energon now pooled beneath him, spreading slowly over the metal plating. The back of his helm had been pried open by Prowl's tapered fingers, exposing neural pathways.

Prowl's optics were flickering deep red as the nano-virus became aware and took complete control. Soundwave could tell by the tremble in Prowl's hands that he was resisting the control; he had no time to waste. Tendrils shot out from beneath his frame embedding themselves into Prowl's cortex just as the black and white linked himself with a torn neural circuit in Prime's head.

Prowl jolted upright with a yell as Soundwave took over. Optimus made a choking sound as Soundwave hacked into him, using his SIC as a buffer. He lost all feeling in his legs and arms as a dark weight descended over his consciousness. Using the last bit of energy he had, he opened the all comms.

//Ratchet! Help… Soundwa…aaacckkk!!//

He was cut off as Soundwave hacked past his firewalls. His vision went black and his audio whined in protest as the sound of screaming pierced through him. Sideswipe, Prowl he couldn't tell who, he heard the startled sound of a voice vaguely familiar to him yelling to Soundwave.

The 'cons had won, they'd beaten him. Optimus despaired as the weight in his cortex pressed down on him, smashing through his already weakened firewalls. He felt codes, passwords, defence tactics, all forcefully snatched from his innermost neurons. 'I've failed,' he thought as consciousness fled.

******

//Blackout!// the yellow Autobot's voice sounded desperate over the copter's comm freq. Blackout looked around: Ratchet was up to his elbows in Starscream's head, grumbling about the impossible odds of finding anything like a cortex in there. Barricade was pacing between the repair frame on which Ironhide lay and Starscream, defying the black Autobot to make a move. Blackout knew that walk-Barricade had had enough and was about to go off like an explosive charge. And we trusted him with det cord?

//What's up, Burbleburp?// He so didn't need any more drama right now.

//Need your help, please!? Optimus is being attacked!//

//Not my problem, Burp.// He had a sick feeling he knew what was going on. But he wasn't one of the smart ones who had plans and such. He just wanted to fight and get out intact.

//Come on! You have to help!//

//Why's that? You guys weren't very helpful to me. Talking about me all the time in front of my back and stuff. Seriously. Not cool.//

//I'm really sorry. Honest. Can you help? Soundwave's doing something awful.//

Soundwave. Blackout considered himself a reasonable mech. And easy to get along with, well, if you could put up with his stupidity. He was one of the few mechs Barricade even pretended to like. Well, as much as Barricade liked anyone. But Soundwave…. Not his favorite mech. Sure, a lot of mechs were smarter than Blackout, but Soundwave seemed to take personal pleasure in making Blackout look and feel stupid. Especially in front of others. For no reason. //No promises, Blarf,// he said, as he slipped out of the repair bay.

Skidding to a halt, his optics widened as Soundwave was bearing down over Prowl who was himself restraining Prime. Tendrils had snaked from Soundwave, burying into Prowl's helm. The 'bot was shaking violently as the hack violated his systems attacking Prime directly through him, using him as a buffer to prevent Optimus from erecting any defenses. This was…uncool looking. And more than a little creepy. Seriously. It reminded him of the Vampire Cybersquid episode of Seeker Cadets. Burble was slumped in a corner, Ravage snarling over him.

Blackout froze, his optics darted over to Sideswipe who was locked into a wrestling match with the ferocious Rumble. Well, too bad. The silver Autobot was on his own. If he couldn't handle a runt like Rumble, that was his problem.

Blackout cursed inwardly. 'Think Blackout think!' Creepy not-cool jerkwad Soundwave, or obnoxious pontificating (he thanked his word-a-solar calendar for that) Optimus Prime? Both kinda sucked in his book. And not in the vampire cybersquid way. What would Barricade do?

That didn't seem like such a hot moral compass, but it was a place to start. Maybe he'd figure what Barricade would do, and do the exact opposite. Let's see. Barricade would yell at him, first, about not target-locking and keeping his processor on his priorities. What were his priorities? The ship! The ship: they needed the ship to get off this stupid moon. Would Soundwave help them with that? Probably not. Soundwave would happily float in space until someone could pick him up. AFTER blowing the rest of them-moon, Autobots, 'cons, etc-to frozen space-bunny chow.

Would Optimus help? Hrm. If Beezley told him to. Terrible leader, always getting pushed around by his own mechs. Sure. 'Course that meant Beezlebuff had to be alive to testify. Well, Blackout could manage that. He was dumb, sure, but there was some stuff he knew.

Using his sheer bulk, he barreled into Soundwave sending them both crashing to the floor. They were virtually equal in size but Soundwave was no match for Blackout's fighting skill. Soundwave was, after all, a satellite. Not exactly combat grade. On the first blow, one of his panels shattered.

His rotor cut through the tendrils eliciting a howl from Soundwave. Behind him, the ground mech Barricade hated so much collapsed onto the floor. Soundwave swung out at him. Blackout parried it easily, swatting the hand away as if it were nothing more than a bug. Heaving Soundwave to his feet by his throat, he bellowed across the bridge.

"Don't make me do it!"

Rumble ceased his attack instantly, his optics darting between Sideswipe gasping on his back, to the limp forms of Prowl and Prime on the floor and up to Soundwave held in a merciless grip by Blackout. "You wouldn't dare, traitor!" Beyond him, Ravage whirled, snarling at Blackout.

Blackout's glare bore down onto the skittish cassettes. "I haven't planned on blowing any of my guys into pieces, so who's the traitor?"

Rumble growled and approached Blackout, his sharp claws scissoring in agitation.

"Just try me." Blackout growled tightening his grip on Soundwave. His comm buzzed.

//Blackout. I suspect you will be able to elucidate the recent medic alert that has prevented Ratchet from finishing my repairs?// Starscream's voice was a welcome distraction. //The Autobot leader is injured?//

//Yeah, he and Prowl are offline I think. Soundwave's doing. Not mine, I swear!//

//No cookie for you, Blackout. You are a terrible Decepticon.//

//Uhhh, sorry about interrupting your repairs?//

//No matter. One optic is online and functional, and the other has been stabilized. If he had continued his 'procedure' with those disturbing tools of his, he would have had to replace the optic with an Autobot spare. I do not fancy having blue eyes. It would ruin my allure.//

He heard a flurry of cursing from Ratchet. At that moment Prime groaned and stirred weakly.

//Oh wait, Prime's still online! Still you better get down here, got a situation.//

//Is the situation's name Soundwave?//

//Yup.//

//Barricade will get there first. Follow his lead.//


	34. Chapter 34

A/N Nice longish section. We're...gasp! Almost done writing this beast (alas, other projects are sucking into our time and most of my TF stories are...a little darker than I think FFN readers would like) so...enjoy nice juicy section. We write this in I think the best possible collaboration: we write, and swap and the other one fixes up 'our boys' in the other author's scenes so that they all sound consistent and right. So I constantly nitpick the 'cons, and the autobots? They're 100% Optimus Bob goodness!

*********

Prowl felt movement beneath his legs and heard the low baritone of Prime groaning in discomfort. He activated internal systems checks before moving. He was on the floor, what in Primus's name was he doing on the floor and why was Prime sprawled out beside him? He felt a deep ache throbbing in his head, no more like a pounding on his cortex with a hammer.

Why couldn't he remember? He scanned over his memory files. The last thing he could recall was meeting Prime on the bridge. He let out a gasp as his memory files replayed an entirely different account of events.

The processor ache was getting worse. Prowl heard Prime shifting beside him, he could hear voices around the room, not Autobots. Something had gone wrong. He couldn't bring himself to online his optics, he could feel the nano virus still coarsing through his systems and Prowl knew from his recovered memory that it was triggered by target sighting, he couldn't risk attacking Prime again.

Parts of his processor which he'd managed to firewall began to red line across his HUD. Soundwave had torn through most of his defenses, ripping open his neurons in an attempt to hack into Prime through him; they were exposed and vulnerable to the persistent nano virus.

He could hear Blackout threatening someone, Prowl turned his head in an attempt to listen in on what was unfolding around him as he lay incapacitated on the floor. He was threatening Soundwave, no Rumble, but why? Why would a 'con help them? If Soundwave had been successful in hacking into Prime the ship was as good as theirs. What possible reason could they have for suddenly showing them mercy?

Prowl let out a groan of frustration and pain, as the thoughts weighed on his processor, 'thinking, bad idea. Don't think about it, it will all go away, you've already crashed and are in the middle of a glitch right now, it's the only logical explanation, just don't think about it… frag.' he lifted his hands to his helm, his cortex feeling as though it was about to explode.

****

Barricade decided that his hatred of Autobots had become, in the course of this adventure, entirely justified. Beyond that: hating Autobots was really the only rational choice. To know them is to hate them. The idiot Ironhide; the completely useless (save for entertainment purposes only) Prowl; THESE FRAGGING HUMANS; and then the team that had apparently been Stockholm Syndroming Blackout.

Which was sort of like shoving candy in a baby, or whatever the stupid human expression was. Blackout was primed to like everyone. Stupid programming glitch. Megatron always said they were all of them glitches and outcastes. Too bad that Blackout's permanent 404 was terminal nice.

It wasn't, alas, the first time that Barricade had had to rescue Blackout from his own worst impulses.

So he wasn't surprised to round the corner and see Blackout against the wall of the room, one forearm hard in Soundwave's throat, as the two cassetticons snarled at him impotently. This…would require careful handling.

Or not.

"Hey,Wavy-gravy, what's up?" Barricade propped himself against the doorframe. Soundwave hated nicknames. Admittedly, his were even stupider than 'Cade'.

"Your…teammate has gone rogue, Barricade. Recommendation: termination."

"Let me do it! Touching the boss!" Rumble was nearly foaming at the intake with fury.

"Blackout," Barricade said, coolly, "Let him down."

"Barricade!" Blackout protested, "You know what he's going to do! You can't let him!"

"I know what he thinks he's going to do." Barricade swung into the room as Ratchet pushed by him, nearly throwing himself on the ground in his haste to aid the downed Autobots. He gestured. Reluctantly, Blackout released his grip. Soundwave tossed his shoulders, wincing as the action sprayed some fragments from one of his satellite reflectors.

"I know you shall not get away with this sedition," Soundwave said, haughtily.

Barricade ignored him, along with the snarling Ravage. "And you know what else I know?" Blackout looked at him, nervously. "I know he's not going to do it. Want to know how I know that?" He flashed a smile at Soundwave.

"Offline me? Is that your cunning plan?" Soundwave snarled.

"Oh, that would be far too easy. And besides, we might need…something in that vat of rancid goo you call a cortex. Lesson for you, Blackout, why you should always listen to the science officer. Who has, of course, studied science."

"Rather punch him in the face than science him," the copter grumbled. Barricade knew he hated being presumed to be stupid.

Barricade smirked at Soundwave. He hated being this wordy but grinding Soundwave's flat, ugly, mandibled face in it was something he just couldn't resist. And he'd been so well-behaved this entire excursion. Well, well-behaved, for him.

"As would we all, I suspect. But you know this science, Blackout. It's all about leverage. You see," he elbowed himself off the wall, "why exert yourself holding down the big strong one with your whole body, when you could use your pinky finger and hold down the weak one?" Barricade's eyes flashed white.

Rumble collapsed.

*****

"We do not seem to have made any progress," Nadya said. She was beginning to get impatient. And her knees were hurting her from crawling on the metal plates.

"If we're moving, it's progress," Stokes said, blithely.

"How do we know we're not traveling in a circle?"

"Because that would be a complete cliché. The Stokes-man has made a career of avoiding clichés."

Nadya began wondering if perhaps hypoxia had affected his brain. "Still," she said, reasonably, "we should have made some notable progress by now."

"Jeez! You sound just like my mother. 'Are we there yet?' 'Where are we?' You think by now she'd know how far it is to the mall and the grocery store!"

"You drive your mother to the grocery store?"

"Hey, don't judge me!"

"I was merely wondering if this was American custom."

"Yeah right." They crawled on for a few minutes in silence. "Okay, fine," he said, as if they'd been arguing. "Next vent we see, we slip over and take a look."

****

"Prime don't try to sit up just yet. I'm still working on your helm."

"What? What happened?"

Ratchet huffed quieter than usual. "Prowl happened, well to be more accurate Soundwave happened, through Prowl."

Optimus winced as Ratchet helped him into a sitting position, leaning him back against the console as he moved to help Prowl who was gripping onto his head like it was about to fall off.

"What did Prowl have to do with it?" Optimus frowned at his medic.

"I… incapacitated you." Prowl rasped, wincing as Ratchet attached a small tool to his helm.

"Why?"

"No choice… nano virus, sorry Prime."

"What are you apologizing for you glitch? It wasn't your Primus damned fault!" Ratchet growled resisting the urge to throw something heavy at the accursed 'cons on his ship.

Blinking and rubbing his head gingerly Optimus struggled to shake off the weight that had settled on his cortex from the hack. "It's alright Prowl, Ratchet's right, not your fault." Optimus really couldn't think of a more leader like response and turned his attentions to the surreal scene on his bridge.

Blackout stood next to Soundwave who looked distinctly more perturbed than usual. Rumble was on the floor twitching and Barricade was… well what he saw could only be described as something plucked from a human's horror movie. His optics were white, his expression bland, eerie. Optimus frowned his optics glancing between him and Rumble and it clicked. He'd heard about Meta controllers back on Cybertron in the early stages of the war, he had never thought that Barricade could be one. Then again he never thought he'd see the 'cons turning against each other to defend them either or them working together on this Primus forsaken moon.

Ratchet finally managed to get Prowl stabilized and flushed the majority of the nano virus from his cortex. "You're still going to get remnants of bad code from the virus. If you feel anything odd, a glitch anything report it to me immediately."

Prowl nodded absently as Ratchet helped him sit up.

"Don't just nod at me and pretend you're listening, Prowl. SIC duties or not, I want to know the second anything feels remotely wrong. Got it?"

Prowl blinked at Ratchet after warily on lining his optics. "I understand completely, Ratchet; I am not a sparkling."

Ratchet grumbled under his intakes. "For how difficult you make my job, you might as well be."

The three Autobots fell silent as Starscream stopped at the doorway of the bridge, a vague look of amusement as he took stock of the situation before strolling confidently onto the bridge.

*****

"Well," Starscream said, "This scenario certainly looks…interesting." His one optic glowed red, though the lens was cracked. The other was covered in stabilizing foam.

"Oh," Barricade muttered, distractedly, keeping his eyes focused on Rumble, "celebration. Starscream is here with his keen battle analysis."

"Hey, Starscream," Blackout said, still shaking his arms loose from where they had tightened gripping Soundwave, "Nice eye patch."

Barricade risked a glimpse. Rumble had time to shift his shoulders back to swing, before Barricade caught him up in his control again. "Why do I feel like I should be saying 'matey' to you, now?" Barricade asked. Just to teach Rumble some manners, he had him punch himself in the face.

"Ratchet said this was the best he could improvise with the damaged medical supplies. I think I look rather…dashing."

"More like...piratical." Blackout considered. "Yarrrrr."

"MIGHT I remind you," Ratchet groused, "Sort of a hostile situation on the bridge here?"

"Only one being hostile is you." Barricade had Rumble flip Ratchet an obscene gesture. Oh, this was almost too fun. Made better, of course, by Soundwave's white fury. Well, that was the problem when you had Achilles heels that tended to wander off and get themselves in trouble.

Ratchet snarled in frustration. Sideswipe, who had been anxiously swinging his blades, trying to cover Ratchet while he worked on Prowl and Optimus against ALL of the 'cons, added, "Kinda got a point there, Ratch."

"So," Blackout said, "What do we do?"

"We see what is salvageable: If not the ship, then perhaps they have some rescue pods. Something here can get one of us to summon help."

"Why don't you?" Sideswipe said, feeling a little ruffled. It felt somehow like the 'con was blaming him for the condition of the ship. It wasn't his damn virus! "You can fly!"

"Ah, yes, unfortunately, some of the higher level repairs were" he coughed, delicately, "above Ratchet's skillset." Ratchet fumed. Starscream continued, blandly, "My optic functions but only as input a/v. My astrogation and other flight-essential visual overlays are offline."

"So, you can't fly."

"I can. Just…not interplanetary at the moment." Starscream sounded stung. "If it comes to that, I shall try. Which is certainly more than any of you have to offer."

Optimus looked at his mechs and nodded. "It's a sensible plan." He rubbed the plates of his nose bridge and sighed. "However, the question remains who do we send to get help?"

"I think we can all agree that it wouldn't be in any of our best interests to send Soundwave." Ratchet added with a glare at the satellite 'con.

"I vote we send Blackout." Barricade piped up, still focused on Rumble.

"What? Why me?"

"You're the one always eager to help. So, now you get your chance you complain?" Barricade huffed. "No pleasing some people."

"I do concur with this assessment." Starscream spoke up ignoring the 'copter's gaping stare. "You are the least abrasive choice of the mechs we have at hand to represent our interests."

Ratchet snorted in disagreement. "What about Prowl? He's the least aggressive mech here."

"Where that maybe true, he is not a Decepticon and as our remote platfore is closer it is only logical to gather help from there before your precious pet humans run out of oxygen."

Ratchet had no argument there and pursed his lips in reluctant agreement. Optimus glanced at his second. "What do you think Prowl?"

"Blackout is the most logical choice." Prowl stated simply, his optics dim in thought. "And I am in no condition to currently be sent anywhere."

"Oh now the mech acknowledges he has limitations." Ratchet huffed with a roll of his optics.

"Blackout it is then." Optimus agreed upon the reassurance of his SIC.

"No way I'm not being squashed into one of those pods. Do you even know what confined spaces do to my rotors?" Blackout grumbled.

Sideswipe protested, "We gonna let 'cons come in our own ship and tell us what to do?"

"We gonna let cons come in our own ship and tell us what to do?" Rumble's voice echoed. Barricade snickered.

"Coooooooool," Blackout said, "Now make him do Megatron!"

Soundwave snarled in fury, "Barricade, you will suffer for this."

"Ooooooh," Barricade said, "Think Soundwave beat me to it. However, I don't think Soundwave, OR Megatron; can pull off…the Macarena!" Soundwave howled in protest as Rumble found himself forced through the absolutely humiliating steps of the dance. "Huh," Barricade said after a moment. "Need to work on those pelvic circles there, buddy."

"Maybe the music would help," Blackout said, helpfully.

Starscream sighed, "I see that once again you live up to your reputation of prisoner-abuse, Barricade."

"Abuse!? He was getting vital cardiovascular activity! And we know you can see now so stop using the verb in every fraggin' sentence."

"Is this what it was like for you?" Ratchet whispered to Prowl, who was still, blearily, clutching his processor. Prowl nodded. "Surprised you only glitched the once, then."

"We know," Blackout said, "Soundwave intended to blow up the ship or something, right? And then he attacked Octopus here. What for?"

"Probably access codes," Barricade said. He was getting bored with Rumble. And even he admitted that a bored Barricade was a bad idea. "Why he'd want those, and why he's even here when our mission was a simply S&D, beyond me."

"I was acting on orders," Soundwave said, stiffly.

"Yeah? Have the feeling you went a little…beyond the orders with the tentacle act."

Soundwave glowered, subsiding into stubborn silence.

"Wait just a Primus damned minute here!" Sideswipe swung round to his leader, his blades still drawn. "Are we really going to let the fraggin' cons dictate things around here Prime?"

"Watch your tone, Sideswipe." Prowl warned eyeing the fidgeting silver mech shifting agitatedly on his wheels.

"I'm sorry but if we let them get help we'll be outnumbered and they will take the ship from under us and more than likely strand us on this moon." He glared at each of the 'cons in turn, he didn't care what had happened on the surface as far as he was concerned they were still the enemy and none of them had done him any favours.

Blackout scoffed. "What, and you won't?"

"No!" Sideswipe retorted.

"What? You think you think any differently from us, freakyfeet?" Barricade chirped up, his concentration still on Rumble.

"I wouldn't try to blow you out of the sky when you're trying to help us or plant viruses in the very ship we all need to get off this rock!"

"In case you hadn't noticed Autobot, we are still helping you." A low growl rumbled from Starscream's chassis his working optic returning Sideswipe's glare.

"Cool it, Sides; Starscream has a point." Ratchet interrupted quietly as he got to his feet.

"You're defending them now?"

//Defending them against what? They haven't done anything except help save Prime.// Bumblebee's head inclined with a frown at Sideswipe. He quite liked the 'copter who had helped when he could have helped Soundwave finish the job.

"Sideswipe, you weren't down on the surface. And despite their misgivings with us," Optimus glanced at Starscream who watched him with a calculating optic. "they did work with us willingly."

"But Prime?!"

"Let him finish." Prowl commanded softly. "We have no other logical choice but to trust each other." Prowl remained seated on the floor, attempting to gather his thoughts through the increasing processor ache.

Optimus took a step forward after being helped to his feet by Bumblebee. "I agree with Prowl, we need to work together." He narrowed his piercing optics at Starscream. "But let me make one thing perfectly clear: this is our ship and I do not want to have to fight for supremacy here."

"Well," Starscream said, "Fine. It is your ship, I suppose. Presuming we can trust you not to abandon us or slag us, simply on reputation of your…sterling nature, what would you have us do, Optimus Prime?"


	35. Chapter 35

Nadya was now entirely sick of being in the ventilation shafts. Her back hurt, her knees were aching and their space suits as cumbersome as they were, were just not made for crawling around in. It was hot, sticky hot, and her oxygen meter read low. She tried to ignore the red flashing light on her wrist where the LCD readouts were attached: she'd already calculated they had a couple of hours at best, but at the rate they were using it up perhaps not even that much.

She glanced up to see Stokes's backside disappear around a corner. "Stokes, hey wait up will you?" She shuffled along faster. "Stokes?!" She hissed when she turned the corner and found the vent shaft empty. Cursing under her breath she continued on. Stokes had been quiet, too quiet for a short while now. He was never quiet unless he was concentrating on his research or he was wrong and didn't want to admit it. Despite his frat boy attitude he had a knack for coming through in a crunch. Nadya sincerely hoped this was one of those times, a quiet Stokes was just unnerving.

"Phillippe Stokes, what the hell are you playing at?" She glared at his silver suit shimmering in the light cast through a vent. He frowned at the use of his full name she only ever used it when she was either teasing him or was pissed. From the dark look on her face he was going to go with pissed, something to deal with later no doubt. He grabbed her suit sleeve and pulled her close putting his finger to his visor to stop her talking.

Nadya was about to protest loudly when he pointed through the vent onto the scene below them. Stifling a gasp Nadya stretched out, lying flat against the cold metal leaning as close as she could to the narrow gaps. Stokes lay beside her and opened their internal suit comm.

"Looks a little tense in there- you think we should do something?"

Nadya shook her head, forgetting he couldn't see the gesture. "What exactly do you suggest?" She couldn't keep the sarcasm from her voice. "Giant alien robots vs the humans? Sounds like a bad American B movie."

"Hey I'll have you know we make some good bad films. There was this one film based in space right and the monster was a--"

"Not the time, Stokes." Nadya interrupted.

Both humans froze as a deep voice vibrated through the shaft.

"That's Optimus." Stokes stated.

Nadya rolled her eyes. "Great. Do you want a cookie?"

"I was just..."

"Shush: trying to listen." She glared intently at the vent just in time to catch Ratchet's typically gruff tirade describing the ship's current dilapidated condition.

"In short, Prime," Ratchet was saying, "while I can fix most of the outer plating, especially with extra hands, without the Catalyser the engine won't turn. Engine doesn't turn we don't fly."

Optimus moved into view of the humans watching above. Stokes whistled silently at the damage he appeared to have suffered since they last saw him.

"Could you get one, Blackout?"

"What? A catafratalizer-thingie? Yeah I'll just stroll into the base and demand Hook remove one from our ship." The copter shifted uncomfortably.

"So, your side can't really help," Ratchet said, arms folded over his chest.

"Just that, well, they're not just going to hand it over. Someone's gonna ask some questions."

"Bring Hook back with you." Starscream spoke as if this were the most reasonable thing in the world. Blackout wondered if the hit to his optics had shaken something in his cortex: Hook wasn't exactly a terrific traveling companion.

Blackout, along with the rest of the bridge turned to stare at Starscream. "Have you finally snapped, Starscream?" Sideswipe growled. "You think we're dumb enough to let a constructicon on board and frag up the systems for you so you can slag us all in the back and take everything you want?"

"It will not damage the ship any more than you and Soundwave have already managed." Starscream replied with a bland smile as Sideswipe once again glowered at the accusation.

"I like to see any of you glitches land a fragged ship any better." Sideswipe lifted his blades defensively, daring any of them to argue with him.

"Now who's being hostile?" Sideswipe jumped as Prowl rested a firm hand on his arm coming to stand between him and the 'cons. Sideswipe glared at his SIC whom he hadn't even heard move.

"We can't just let them take over, Prowl." Sideswipe hissed.

Optimus interrupted. "Sideswipe, you need to put your grievances aside for the moment. You are not helping the situation."

Bumblebee bleeped in agreement with his Prime earning a cold glare from a highly agitated Sideswipe. Optimus turned back to Ratchet. "What do you need us to do?"

"Well, first thing that needs repairing is the outer hull. We have breaches all over and without that we can't create atmosphere. Which means the humans will suffocate."

"Oh wouldn't that be a shame," Barricade muttered.

"We need to get back up computer running: the planetary thrusters are computer controlled."

Ratchet frowned at Prowl. "What the frag are you talking about?"

Prowl's tone had returned to his unflappable calm. "We need to utilise the thrusters to get ourselves out of the side of this mountain. If you repair the hull before then the movement will shred the new plating."

Ratchet raised his brow in surprise. "Ok, brownie points for you." He grumbled, ignoring the quizzical quirk of Prowl's supraorbital ridge.

"How long will that take you, Prowl?" Optimus glanced at his second.

"The back ups weren't damaged by the nano virus but I will have to access them directly via the mainframe in the engine room. I estimate around one Earth cycle."

*****

Nadya felt her last shred of hope smash against the rocky despair of Prowl's words, she understood enough of the lingo to know a cycle was roughly one hour. That only gave them around one hour of breathable oxygen. She closed her eyes for a moment quashing the rising panic. She was trained to deal with this: keep calm, think clearly and most importantly don't panic, it only used up more oxygen. She felt a sharp tug on her arm.

"Look." Stokes whispered. She followed his gaze back through the vent the large red visored mech was shifting, subtly. They hadn't seen him before, but they were pretty sure he wasn't playing for the Freedom Team. His movements had gone unnoticed by the rest of the bridge. Ratchet was currently recruiting Sideswipe and Blackout's help to fit the plating where he was unable to reach, Bumblebee was covering Ravage avoiding the swishing barbs of the angry cat's tail, while Prowl, Starscream and Optimus were engaged in quiet discussion.

Not one of them had noticed Soundwave approaching a distracted Barricade who was still toying with Rumble, muttering to himself about pointless drones and liabilities. Barricade didn't stand a chance when Soundwave made his move. His panels flared out his reflective surfaces sending the glare of the artificial lighting shielding him from view. Rumble dropped to the floor with a choke and scrabbled back to hide behind one of Ravage's legs. Barricade let out a howl as Soundwave tried to hack into his cortex by prying off his helm plating. Blackout and Bumblebee rushed to help but were immediately attacked by the cassetticons. The bridge erupted into chaos.

The two humans watched open mouthed as Starscream and Prowl dragged a snarling, furious Soundwave off a twitching Barricade. Sideswipe went to slice through the tendrils snaking out from the larger mech's frame only to be stopped by Starscream grabbing his wrist.

"He will create a feedback loop more quickly than you can cut through them all, and simply fry Barricade's cortex."

Sideswipe looked horrified. "Slagger."

"Now you will suffer the fate you inflicted on so many others." Soundwave had gained control of Barricade's motor functions. Barricade's spokes came flying out, lashing into a nearby Starscream who hissed in pain before Ratchet dragged him out of danger, energon spurting from a wound in his thigh.

Barricade's optics were desperate, pleading.

"We've got to do something!" Nadya whispered urgently.

"I'm all ears."

Nadya shifted in the cramped space and started kicking at the vent. "You remember when Barricade opened up Dead End's head in the cave?"

"Yeah..."

"Think you can do it?"

Stokes frowned. "I think so..." A grin spread across face. "The bomb in the head. Such a cool idea. Man, I want one."

Nadya flashed him a desperate look. "Little help here, genius."

They kicked hard and the vent creaked loudly, metal shrieked and whined. The humans lurched as the vent jolted. Staring at each other they grabbed hold of each other's arms. The vent gave way with a crack. "Oh shit!" Stokes hollered not expecting the drop they were faced with. They plunged into the bridge, sending the other mechs staggering back in surprise. The heavy vent landed with a crunch onto Soundwave's helm. He dropped to his knees, his concentration broken.

"Now, Stokes!" Nadya yelled.

The astronaut scrabbled over the jagged helm and pried open the back of Soundwave's helm with the crow bar he'd kept strapped to his back pack. Soundwave howled as the determined human jammed the sharp edge of the crowbar into the node directly above where he'd seen Barricade attach the link into Prowl's head and where he'd deactivated Dead End's internal bomb.

"Now I suggest you put a stop to this squid look you got going on. It ain't fun and it ain't a pretty look for you."

Soundwave growled and withdrew the tendrils from Barricade's head, reaching up instead to swipe at the human.

"Nuh - unh." Stokes dug in the crow bar and wrenched it hard. Soundwave screamed and fell on all fours. The cassetticons howled as they felt the pain through their connection. "I think we've had just about enough of you." He lifted the crow bar and smashed the node in a crackle of sparks and Soundwave fell unconscious.

Stokes got to his feet looking rather smug. Every optic in the room was focused on the unlikely rescuers.

"So 'Cade." Stokes grinned and patted the thin slip of metal into his gloved palm. "What you say about me getting a closer look at your comm system now?"

Barricade glowered with embarrassed ire. Saved by a fraggin' human. Worse saved by what was probably the most annoying human who ever lived. "Try it and see what inventive things I can do with that crow bar."

"Now Barricade, that is hardly the way to respond to your saviours." Prowl quirked an optic ridge at him, clearly enjoying the reversed discomfort. "I believe the appropriate response is thank you." He added dryly the faintest of smirks pulling at his face plates, even Starscream let out a grunt of amusement.

Barricade just gave them his most loathsome glare. "Hate you all." //Sorry,// he subvoc'd to Starscream, who was wincing as Ratchet worked to seal the damaged hose. //Didn't mean to.//

//I know,//Starscream said. //Do not worry about apologies, Barricade. Though in the future, you might ruminate on the reason he chose to attack you and not one of these Autobots.//

Barricade frowned. //Gonna have to offline me again. Long as I was using the CC I was good. Now…// he hunched over, his frame shaking.

//I shall take care of it.//


	36. Chapter 36

"Seriously? Uncool." Blackout was squinting into the dark confines of the Autobot rescue pod. "Seen CR pods bigger than this."

"We have been through this, Blackout. We need someone to go. We do not know whom you shall run across and in an Autobot ship, the Autobots will hesitate to fire upon you."

"Your side, though," Sideswipe said, "Pretty likely to blow you on sight."

"That's not it," Blackout said. "Why can't Barricade go? He's smaller."

"Barricade," Starscream explained, as if straining against patience, "is abrasive. He would manage to irk even the Autobots into uncivilized behavior. Plus," he glanced down the corridor where the smaller 'con was kneeling in front of an open panel, the Autobot leader leaning over him, directing his smaller hands. As he watched, a small tremor ran through Barricade's frame. "he is indisposed and needs monitoring at the present time."

"Think he always needs monitoring," Ironhide grumbled. He moved stiffly on his bad leg, but his weapon's muzzle never drifted off Soundwave. He'd been dragged from the medbay to help. Fine with him: he hated lying there feeling useless. Now if only this slaggin' con would try something and give him an excuse to blow his processor out, this day would have at least one bright spot.

Blackout shifted uncomfortably. "Just gonna be…awfully tight in there. Don't know why you want to send the biggest mech, that's all."

"Your inability to grasp this simple concept is merely a reflection of your claustrophobia, Blackout," Starscream said. "Now, you know your mission. Be thankful that you are escaping the company of these odious Autobots and go."

Blackout grumbled, but began, gingerly, folding himself into the small pod. Bumblebee sidled over, his own cannon still pointed at the captives he was guarding along with Ironhide.

//Thanks for doing this,// Bee subvoc'd to the larger 'con. //I think you're very brave.//

"Really?" Blackout settled himself behind the small control panel. "Thanks a lot, Barbarella."

Barricade froze, then turned his head slowly toward the pod. "How did you know what the little yellow freak was thinking?" he asked, his voice tight.

Oh frag, Blackout thought. Busted. "Uhhhhnnn, I'm psychic. It's in my personnel file. Right, see you guys later, gotta go!" He hit the door release and the pod self-sealed for launch.

*****

"Don't touch that!"

Stokes peered over his shoulder at Prowl his hand reaching out once more to poke at the console switches in front of him. "What... this?" He asked innocently.

"Yes that." Prowl responded placing his hand in front of Stokes's curious fingers.

Prowl turned back to his panel, his other arm buried deep into the wiring of the console, his concentration focused on trying to reboot the back up computer.

"What does it do?" Stokes idly, brushed over another panel, his crow bar too close to the circuitry for Prowl's comfort.

"It is the central coolant panel; it regulates flow through the engine." His optics narrowed as he watched the human explore sensitive circuitry beneath the console. "Please don't touch that." He repeated.

Stokes fell silent for a few moments, while Prowl returned to his work. "Why what happens if it doesn't work?"

Prowl frowned at the break in his concentration once more. "The engine will explode." He stated blandly quirking an orbital ridge at Stokes who snapped his hand back sharply.

"Well thanks for the heads up." He muttered shooting Prowl a sullen glare.

"You were told not to touch anything." Prowl replied, wishing there was something he could distract the ever curious human with, something as far away from him as possible.

"Is there something we can be doing you know... to help?" Stokes continued trying very hard to peer into the paneling from beneath Prowl's arm.

"You could get out of the way."

Stokes glanced up at Prowl who looked down at him, unable to retract his arm while Stokes stood on his leg. "Alright, alright, no need to get your panties in a twist." Stokes leapt from Prowl's leg allowing the mech to retrieve his arm. "I mean it's not like we saved your asses from the big bad Decepticon or anything."

"While your actions were commendable if foolhardy, it isn't a prerequisite for tampering with our engines."

"Spoil all my fun why don't ya?" Stokes grumbled rolling his eyes at Nadya.

"We're not here to have fun." Prowl ignored Stokes's muttered retort. "Nadya may I have your assistance please?"

"Me? What do you need me for?"

"The wiring inside the panel is too far for me to reach, you have shown a great deal of competence in repairing our systems and you are sufficiently small enough to fit inside without being injured."

"Now that's just sexist, I am just as competent!" Stokes managed to pout as Nadya gently pushed him aside and climbed onto Prowl's hand.

"It is not sexist Lieutenant Stokes, she is the smallest and so is the most logical choice."

"Oh yeah? Well if you're not sexist, why do you call her by her first name?" Stokes folded his arms and quirked a smirk up at the Autobot SIC.

Prowl tipped his head back and vented a heavy sigh. "How is that relevant?"

"Just sayin' you know. You use her first name but not mine, respond to me with my rank and surname... kinda sexist and more than a little impersonal." Stokes couldn't help but grin at the confused expression on Prowl's face, before Nadya interrupted his enjoyment by peering over Prowl's hand and glaring at him.

"That might have something to do with the fact you introduce yourself to everyone as 'Stokes' and told them if they used your first name you'd demonstrate number 56 of 101 things to do with a crowbar."

"Hey, whose side are you on?!"

"The side that's actually trying to fix the damn ship BEFORE we run out of air!" Nadya turned back to Prowl who managed at least not to look too smug at Stokes's sullen glare. "Can we get this done please? Before you find anymore tight spaces for me to crawl into?"

Prowl helped her into the small opening of the panel, using his headlights to give her visibility. He waited patiently, his brow furrowed with concern when a scraping sound reached his audios followed by soft Russian cursing. "Are you alright Nadya, are you injured?"

"Give me a damn minute will you?" came her muffled reply.

"Better watch out Prowl." Stokes fidgeted beside the seated mech. "She bites, too."

"All right, I'm in! What do I do now?"

"There should be a bundle or wires directly in front of you."

"Yes, I can see it."

"It is connected to a circuit panel above you. It requires disconnecting from that and joining to the wires to the left of you."

"All right. Give me a few minutes: need to climb about a bit in here."

Prowl sat back, keeping his light directed at the small opening. Stokes sighed and plonked himself onto Prowl's leg to get his attention.

"So what do you do for fun ,Prowl?"

"I don't see how that is important."

Stokes snorted, the answer was so typically Prowl. "Humour me... if you're capable of it."

"I enjoy problem solving, logic puzzles, tactical games."

"Huh. That is actually cooler than I expected." Stokes raised his brow in excitement. "Hey, do you play chess?"

"Chess?"

"Yeah-human game, tactics, lot of patience."

Prowl paused his optics dimmed as he searched the reference through his data banks. "Ah, no. I have never played. It does appear intriguing."

"Bet you're just a giant super computer aren't you? No flaws, rigid, predictable moves?" Stokes goaded cheerfully.

"I am not devoid of emotion Lieutenant, nor am I flawless with my tactics."

Stokes grinned, Prowl almost, ALMOST seemed insulted. "All right. I'll play you a game when we get back."

"I don't think that would be such a good idea."

"Why because I'm human, you think I can't beat you?" He folded his arms in indignation.

"I didn't say that."

"But you think it?"

"No!"

"Then play me!"

Nadya poked her head out of the panel before Prowl could respond. "Have you boys quite finished?" She climbed back onto Prowl's offered hand and smiled. "It's done. Give it a kick."

Prowl placed her on the floor and stood. He pressed a few commands into the console and was rewarded with a low rumbling throughout the engine room.

//Prowl to Prime. The thrusters are operational. I will re-route power to the bridge console.//

//Acknowledged, Prowl. Good work.//

//It was thanks to the humans, Sir. Prowl out.//

Stokes was practically bouncing in his suit. "That's good then, we're going home?"

Prowl hesitated, not wanting to pass along false hope. "With any luck Blackout will return with the necessary component and we will be able to return to Earth." He cast them a tiny smile as Stokes engulfed Nadya in a surprising hug.

"Great! I'll be beating you at chess before you know it." Stokes grinned while Nadya simply shook her head in bemusement; there was just no end to the man's positivism.

"So what now... we get to... to... fly the... oh crap..."

Prowl frowned crouching before Stokes as he slumped to his knees. The human peered through his helmet visor, eyes wide and fearful. "I can't breathe."

As if on cue Nadya mumbled incoherently before falling to the floor. Prowl turned back to the console and swiftly input a command. In one swift motion he gathered up the two astronauts and sprinted from the engine room. Reaching the med bay he skidded to a halt, placing the humans into a chamber, he began to work on the adjacent console.

Ironhide spun startled, straining his leg, his cannon whirring at the intrusion. "Primus, Prowl! I almost blew you back to Cybertron!"

Prowl ignored his grumbling and headed to a nearby berth. Bumblebee and Ironhide glanced at each other, worry etched on the yellow mech's face. They had to guard Soundwave and his Cassetticons . They were in the dark as to Prowl's urgency.

"What... you doing?" Stokes tried to reach out, his voice faint, strained.

"Putting you both into stasis; it's the only way to keep you alive." Prowl glanced worriedly over the humans' vitals, frowning when Stokes grabbed his hand.

"Have a game with... me... when we get back...please?"

Prowl frowned at the completely illogical request. "I can compute 800 different courses of action on a battle field in less than a second, I don't think it would be a…."

Stokes managed a short laugh. "Something...to look forward to...."

Prowl ceased his protest and gave Stokes a quick nod in affirmation. "When we return." He closed the chamber as Stokes threw him a grateful grin. Activating the stasis pod the two humans fell into a comatose but alive state, their vitals clearly displayed on the screen.

//Prowl to Ratchet.//

//Kinda busy here, Prowl. With repairs, demented Decepticons, and Sideswipe.//

//The humans have almost run out of oxygen. I have placed them into a stasis chamber in the med bay. How long can we keep it running on minimal power?//

//Slag... couple of cycles maybe more if we divert power from non essential systems.//

//Thank you, I'll inform Prime.//

Prowl took one last look over the humans in stasis and turned back to Ironhide. "Have they been any trouble?"

Ironhide shrugged. "Sleeping Beauty over there just woke up, others are too scared of getting slagged if they so much as twitch. I got it covered, Prowl. What was that all about?"

Prowl remained impassive, activating his internal comm. //Humans have almost run out of Oxygen. Please ensure that Soundwave or the others don't learn of their vulnerability. Keep them away from the stasis pods, I have no doubt that he will not hesitate to kill them.//

Ironhide gave him a terse nod, both his cannons armed and pointed at the 'cons. Bumblebee glanced fretfully between them, his optics wide. He liked the humans and always felt more concern than most when they were at risk. Prowl noticed his restlessness and placed a hand on his shoulder in reassurance before turning on his heel and heading for the bridge. He could only hope that Blackout came through for them.

***

Starscream tried to make a reasonable excuse why he should stay near Barricade without making it too obvious. He suspected Prowl had figured it out from last time, but had, after one last sidelong glance, gone with the humans to the engine room to repair the thrusters. But in the end, he was needed outside to hold up newly fabricated external plating for the ship. Which, if you asked him, was a complete underutilization of his skills, but then again, what else did one expect from these hateful Autobots? And perhaps, he had decided, it was good not to have them know his true potential.

"Right," Sideswipe said. "Now, just hold it steady…. Just like that."

"You do not need to give me instructions on how to hold a piece of metal immobile," Starscream snapped. "Unlike you Autobots, we Decepticons have basic skills."

"Oh yeah," Sideswipe retorted, "Basic skills like what? How to kill each other in your sleep?"

"We have much more entertaining things that we do when we catch others in recharge," Starscream smirked.

"Oh, gross."

"I suppose you tedious Autobots simply sit around and tell each other how impossibly virtuous you all are, especially your Prime."

"You leave Prime alone, you filthy 'con!" Sideswipe threw down his riveter. It bounced off the hull of the ship and off into the low gravity.

"Oh, too close to home, Autobot?" Starscream said. Sideswipe shot him an angry look and scrambled off the hull to retrieve the tool. "And it appears you Autobots do need basic instructions. That is not how one uses that tool."

"Things would go a lot more smoothly," Ratchet snapped back, "If you'd both shut up and do your jobs."

"He started it," Starscream muttered. Ratchet made him uncomfortable. He hit his subvoc. //Barricade?//

//What?// Barricade sounded…annoyed.

Starscream hesitated. //Are you well?//

//Oh just fantastic. Stuck on the bridge with the Autobot Idol. I am truly unworthy of his perfection.//

//You are unworthy of me as well, but that has never stopped you,// the jet teased.

//Ha ha.//

Starscream frowned, but he didn't want to push Barricade. Not yet. Barricade would tell him if his symptoms were getting worse. //How go repairs?//

//WhatEVER.//

That…did not sound good. Was this Barricade melting down again? Starscream looked down, trying to conjure an excuse to go back into the ship. //Barricade?//

//Hey, jet, you gonna tell me about the copter?//

//What about Blackout?//

//Know that coy act doesn't work with me, right?//

Starscream sighed. //I am merely inquiring what precisely you wish to know.// He shifted to one side as Sideswipe climbed up alongside him. Sideswipe glared at him, as if daring him to start something. Starscream shrugged. And noted that even his refusal to engage with the Autobot irked him.

//Want to know how he knew what Soundwave was up to?//

//I do not think that he does. He simply saw an opportune moment and inferred that Soundwave did not have our interests--or survival--at heart.//

//You make him almost sound like a Decepticon.//

//Do not underestimate Blackout simply because he chooses to be more personable than you.// Starscream winced as Sideswipe lost his grip on the riveter, driving it, accidentally, into the jet's hand. If Starscream hadn't been so preoccupied, he would have slapped the Autobot. Sideswipe looked up, muttered an apology, and bent back over the panel.

//You know what I mean--he was helping the enemy.//

//He was helping us get off this blasted moon. Aiding them until that goal is achieved is the only logical choice.//

//Slag. We could have worked around Soundwave ourselves after he did…whatever he did.//

Starscream heard his own shoulder gyros release some tension. Barricade sounded…sane. For the moment. He only had the mech's abrasive nature to deal with. And Sideswipe. //You sound confident that Soundwave's plan did not liquidate us.//

//Just asking--the copter's too innocent to think like that.//

Barricade had a point. //You suspect he was called there by an Autobot.//

//It's a possibility.//

//Barricade,// Starscream went for a clumsy deflection. //Say that were true--why did you help him?//

A long pause. //Not Soundwave's biggest fan.//

//He was attacking Prowl. You saved Prowl.//

A groan. //Shut it.//

//If that was not your motive,// the jet said, //then you were motivated either by friendliness to Blackout// another groan, as if in physical pain, //or you too decided to help the Autobots.//

//I-uhhhhh, decided that he would be less likely to face charges of treason if I did it with him.//

//Why, Barricade, how very noble of you.//

//Seriously? Why you doing this to me? Not bad enough I'm stuck here holding motherboards for Primetime here?//

//It behooves me to have the mechs under my command to be amiable with each other. The better you get along with Blackout, the more smoothly my life runs.//

Another long pause. //How you think he's doing?//

Starscream's turn to hesitate.

Barricade grunted. //That bad, huh?//


	37. Chapter 37

Optimus worked quietly at the main bridge console, he had sat down in an attempt to prevent further injury and not to frag up Ratchet's temporary patchwork. He cast a sidelong glance at his unlikely companion. Barricade appeared outwardly calm, controlled, which was odd in itself. Gone was his notable snark and distinctive sneer, he merely responded when Optimus instructed him to adjust the computer controls and occasionally he would twitch, glance around the room suspiciously before forcing him to stare blankly at the console.

Prowl had given him a quiet heads-up on Barricade's (what he could only call a) condition. He had confirmed Prime's own suspicions that Barricade had indeed been a combat controller. He dreaded to think how many mechs had been under his direct control. He was uncomfortably aware that Ironhide had been one of those of mechs. Something he put aside for a later discussion with his weapons specialist. Right now, Optimus felt himself pretty much clueless in how to handle this unexpected situation.

"Taking a picture will last longer." Barricade muttered, his optics never leaving the console.

Optimus shifted uncomfortably, he hadn't even realized he'd been staring. "I was wondering, as you seem rather... uncomfortable after what happened with Soundwave and Rumble. Ummm..."

'Be nice, tactful, best not to rile him while he seems to be on your side.'

"What does it do to you, when you have to take control of another mech? I mean is it painful for you... for them?"

"Why? You looking for a change of career?"

Well at least his abrasive sense of humour was intact, Optimus thought dryly. "No. Just you know, if you're in any discomfort... I can get Ratchet to..."

"Save it Autobot." Barricade growled. "Don't want or need your charity." His optics narrowed. None of your business, Autoboob.

Optimus turned back to his console, deflated. 'Outstanding, alienated with one sentence. And not even a coherent one at that. Excellent.' Optimus rolled his optics at his own inability to approach such a personal topic. He was rarely caught in such instances where it was necessary. It wasn't that he was an unapproachable leader just that the title alone gave him a certain distance. His mechs would never trouble him with personal issues, they would consider it the height of disrespect due to stellar cycles of ingrained programming spanning from before the war, back to a time when Cybertron was a class dominated civilization.

"It doesn't hurt."

Optimus was surprised at the interruption. He glanced at Barricade who was scowling, probably regretting even sharing that tiny bit of information.

"Can be painful for the mech being controlled, especially if they resist or are hacked. Like what Solar panels kindly did to me, Prowl oh and you." Barricade met Optimus's gaze and sneered. "Doesn't make you a resident expert, so don't plan on writing your autobiography. Ironhide's got you way beat on that."

Optimus's optics widened, he REALLY wasn't used to that brand of cutting sarcasm. Deciding the best tactic was to ignore it, he changed the subject. "Well I am sure you're glad the humans dropped in when they did then." He said innocently, oblivious to the dark look crossing Barricade's features.

"Ecstatic." Barricade muttered his scowl deepening. His optics snapped up to Prime as his comm. buzzed.

Out of courtesy Optimus activated the speaker on his comm. Prowl's voice came through clear and direct. Barricade cursed inwardly upon hearing that the humans had proven useful yet again. There was just no end to his humiliation; did they have to keep rubbing his face in it?

"'Bout time the fleshlings made themselves more useful than fashion accessories."

Optimus raised an orbital ridge at him in vague amusement. "They did save you from Soundwave, Barricade."

"What? Do they want a fraggin' medal? Had it covered." He turned back to his console, inputting the commands to bypass the incessant firewalls as Optimus had instructed. "Right where I wanted him," he muttered ignoring Prime's bemused gaze.

The console flashed and the bridge suddenly lit up in an array of bleeps and lights. The cracked forward viewer blinked and the mountain wall came into focus, blurry but visible all the same. Optimus turned to him his optics narrowed with a hidden smile.

"How's your piloting?" Optimus asked, his smirk widening at Barricade's surprise.

*****

Blackout hated to admit he hated small spaces. He wasn't really very fond of hating anything. That was more of a Bonecrusher thing, really. Between Bonecrusher and Brawl, the hating thing was pretty well covered. But he wasn't very cool in the small confines of the Autobot pod. It didn't help that the Autobots put everything in different places. He ran through the list of items he might have to find real fast several times: hailing freqs, defense shields, booster jets, attitudinal adjusters. And hoped that was good enough.

He was picking his way through an asteroid field, trying to concentrate on dodging the larger pieces, more worried than he wanted to admit that one of the chunks of stone would damage his comm array, leaving him more or less commless. Which would suck no matter who he ran into first.

He wasn't fond of the idea of running into Autobots much more than he was of making it back to the orbital platform. But he had to do this right or else Barricade would…slaughter him.

Blackout didn't like that he was chosen, even though he got along with just about everyone. He kept checking the farscans for any contact, hoping he'd get just enough notice to prepare himself.

"Wow," a voice cut over the ship's hailing comm. "Aren't you a lost little 'bot?"

"Thundercracker?" The proximity alarms fired, the large jet appearing from behind an asteroid.

"Blackout?" A pause. "I probably don't want to know why you're in an Autobot pod, do I?"

"Don't really want to talk about it."

"My idiot trinemate in trouble?"

Uhhhhh. "Kind of."

"Hunh. Kind of. And you're here in a pod. Heading back to the station. You bailing on him?" Thundercracker's voice got sharp, and the pod registered a target lock.

"No! He sent me to get help. We're stuck on a fragging moon."

"We?"

"Starscream and Barricade. Soundwave too." Well, he'd find out sooner or later.

"I take it that S&D went horribly awry."

Blackout grimaced, even though he knew the jet couldn't see him. "You have no idea."

"Been there." The blue jet appeared on his view screen, shifting to his robot mode to hover. "What help do you need?"

"Some catalyzer thingie for the Autobot ship." Blackout relaxed a bit.

"Starscream…can't fly?"

"Damaged. He, uhhh, lost an eye too." He hesitated. "And we gotta cooperate with Autobots, too."

"Frag, that really redefines 'horribly awry'." Thundercracker grinned. "Right. You want a catalyzer. We can do that."

"And…uh, someone who might be able to jerryrig Autobot tech to install it."

"Hook'd be best, but…slag. He's a pain to work with." The blue jet turned. "Follow my vector in: we'll get you in undiscovered."

Blackout boosted the weak thrusters on the pod to follow Thundercracker. Maybe this wouldn't be that hard.

"Why is Hook a pain?" He'd heard so much bad about all of his fellow 'cons that he consciously ignored all of it. Still, if this was going to be a problem, he should know. Barricade would probably not only know, but have a great strategy to get around Hook's issues. He missed Barricade. And hoped he was okay. "Uh, he gonna rat us out to Megatron?"

Thundercracker snorted over comm. "Not likely. Problem with Hook is 'jerryrig' isn't in his vocabulary as anything other than an ultimate cuss word. He'll fix the damn thing forever."

"Oh." Frag, Blackout really didn't want to be stuck on that moon much longer. Barricade was looking…squirrelly when he left and Starscream…well, he must be about crazy from the strain of being surrounded by so many Autobots and not able to slap any of them. Not that Blackout thought himself a stellar example of cooperation. The Autobots creeped him out, hard. That medic, no way. The one that Barricade said had freaked because they were flirting with him? Weird. Ironhide was one big mess of unstable. The only 'bot he almost tolerated was Bingbangboom. "Think we should get him?"

"He's the best. The rest of that stuff, we can sort out later." A hum over the comm line as Thundercracker kicked on his reverse thrusters to shed speed, coming in for a light landing to the open hangar. Blackout did a less elegant job of it with the alien controls of the pod, which ended up skidding against the deck flooring, tearing up some plating, and coming to rest, finally, against the far bulkhead. Blackout crawled out of the pod, turning to give it one last kick, his capacitor racing. Fragging thing! From now on, copter did his own flying.

****

Starscream and Sideswipe were ushered from the hull plating by Ratchet, who looked angrier than usual. He muttered under his breath, leading them some distance away before turning and staring back at the ship. Starscream stole a glance at Sideswipe who caught his optic and shrugged looking as confused as he was.

"We're ready now, in position. You're clear for maneuvers." Ratchet suddenly spoke out loud, startling them both. "Primus help us having a 'con at the helm."

Starscream's one functioning optic stared at Ratchet. "Barricade is piloting the ship?"

"It looks that way yeah."

Considering Barricade's current potentially unstable condition this did not fill him with a sense of comfort. //Barricade, how is the situation?//

//Can't really talk, playing chauffeur and got Prowl whispering sweet nothings in my audio.//

//While I am sure that is only appealing for you, why are you piloting the ship?//

//Prime time is too focused on getting the main computer up and running. Prowl had only just decided to grace us with his insanely cheerful presence. He's navigating.//

//I see... are you...?//

//Can manage, jet. Don't need you joining the ranks of the skeptical right now. Already had to listen to cannons for brains tearing 'let's be friends' a new audio for asking me to take point.//

//Just keep it intact, I am certain you can do a better job than the inept Autobot that crashed it in the first place.//

//Brimming with fluffy warmth and love over here. Right got to fly, loverbot here is giving me the optic.//

Starscream smirked discreetly his comm falling silent. The three mechs watched as the small thrusters fired up. A low rumbling filled their audios and the ground began to shake as the ship slowly pulled away from the mountain side. Ratchet hissed and cursed as the screeching sounds of ripping metal scarred the air. The ship shuddered and trembled in the low g, debris, dust and hull plating spinning off into the almost non-existent atmosphere. With a loud scream of strained thrusters the Ark finally broke free and began to steer away from the mountain. Optics remained fixed on the ship, navigating its way slowly back along the path it had carved upon landing. It whined and hissed before slowly lowering to the uneven rocky ground. With a sudden crack the engines stalled and the ship dropped the meter or so to the surface of the moon. The small audience grabbed onto each other for balance against the quaking ground.

"Oh for spark's sake!" Ratchet bellowed racing off towards the ship followed closely by Sideswipe. Starscream was about to follow when a familiar voice stopped him cold.

"Haven't seen such fragged flying since our academy days."

Starscream turned slowly. He glared at his trine mate. "Thundercracker, what are you doing here?"

Thundercracker's lip components curved in a knowing smirk. "A little bird told me you were in trouble. Thought I'd come for the after show. Glad to see I haven't missed anything."


	38. Chapter 38

Blackout was about to give up. Hook was…harder to deal with than Thundercracker had let on. Not that he'd expected it to be easy. Just…not hard this way, is all.

Hook had no problem with doing something sub rosa. Don't tell Megatron? No problem. (Which boggled Blackout's mind, speculating how many things the engineer had done before without Megatron's knowledge.) Had no problem coming back to repair.

But the Fratalyzer was a problem. Hook wanted to know all sorts of stuff Blackout had like no idea about. Charge capacity. Cubic volume. Desired output measures. Blackout got really tired of saying "I don't know" and "Maybe." He felt dumb. And stupid. And useless. And big. Hook was barely the size of Barricade, but even, if that was possible, scarier.

"Surely," Hook said, blandly, "Someone knows."

Blackout frowned. "Can't comm them-mine is fried," (saving Autobots o frag don't ask how) "and anything ship-originated would be traceable."

Hook had eventually thrown up his hands in frustration and ordered a list of items to wait for them in the hangar. Which had made Blackout think…oh frag. How are we getting back to the moon? Apparently Hook had decided a small jumpshuttle. Blackout considered-not that he was given any say in this or anything-but the shuttle was just big enough to get he, Starscream, Barricade and possibly Soundwave off the moon. If need be. Maybe they could just dump the Fratalyzer and go. You know, with Barricade NOT sitting right next to him to tear off his audio. Barricade didn't forget why he was mad.

Blackout had tried to contact Thundercracker on the ship's comm, but…he was out of range. Huh. Guess he didn't care so much.

Hook plopped himself in the back of the shuttle with a bag of equipment. "You fly," he said.

"Uhhh, don't really think you want that," Blackout said. After his less-than-ace piloting skills with the Autobot pod, he wasn't eager to get behind the stick again.

"I don't know where we're going," Hook said. "I'd have to activate the astrogation and…"

"Trackable. Right." Blackout sure was tired of feeling dumb. It didn't help that Hook had…even less interpersonal skills than Barricade. At least Barricade was funny. Hook was just…creepy. But, whatever. A mech never got anywhere by complaining, right? Well, unless you were Starscream. But everyone else, complaining was uncool. Or Barricade. He complained a lot, too. But it was hard to take him seriously because his complaints were funny. Okay, come to think of it, Blackout was the only mech he knew who didn't complain. And he didn't want to start. He sighed, frustrated at himself, and settled himself behind the jumpshuttle's controls. Hook was…was he talking to the fratalyzers? Sounded like it. Weird. Hook was just straight up weird.

Blackout didn't mean it in a bad way, though. Everyone was a little weird, right?

He powered up the throttle and lifted the ship off the hangar floor. He hated to admit he was kind of looking forward to seeing the others again. Even if it meant Barricade ripping his arm off.

***

Barricade muttered to himself, shaking off Prowl's hands. "Can get up just fine."

The main console blinked angrily. Right. Like it was his fault. Fraggin' Autobot ship. Fraggin' bad landing into the side of the fraggin' mountain. He glared at Optimus, pretty sure the all-sterling Autobot leader had only let him fly because he knew this would happen. Set up to look bad. Barricade snarled.

"Hey!" a voice came through over the ship system comm. "Anyone going to tell us what happened?"

"Sorry, Ironhide," Optimus said. "We pulled the ship out of the mountain so that we can begin repairs to the navigation system."

"Yeah well you did an excellent job navigating us right onto the ground. Which idiot did the flying? Was Prowl's cortex fritzing again?"

"Barricade did."

A long silence. "Well, that explains everything, really," Ironhide said. "Only surprise is he didn't manage to blow us up in the process."

"If I still had some neptunium," Barricade snapped, "Be sure I'd've tried."

"Ironhide, Barricade!" Optimus barked. "We must work together."

"Yeah, I am working together," Ironhide muttered. "Just offering my new teammy a little constructive criticism about his flying."

"That's IT!" Barricade glared at the audio speaker. His optics flashed white.

A crashing sound over the speaker, followed by muffled cursing.

"I'm gonna fraggin' offline you, you filthy 'con!" Ironhide swore.

"What?" Barricade asked, innocently.

"Ironhide?" Optimus asked. "What happened down there?"

"Fraggin' defibrillator attacked me. ATTACKED ME."

Barricade shrugged. "Sounds like someone's a little delusional."

Prowl frowned. "Barricade, you forget that I saw you in the mines."

Barricade sighed. "Fine. You didn't mind when I did it to Short Stack back there to save your aft."

"I was incapacitated."

"Sure. That's your excuse."

"Barricade!" Optimus barked. "We are cooperating. We were wrong in not warning Ironhide that the ship would move. He has a right to be upset." He raised his voice to the comm pickup. "Ironhide, I regret that we forgot to warn you."

"Oh slag, seriously? You Autobots are pathetic. No idea how you carry on a war with all this sensitivity nonsense. We sure don't worry about it on my side."

"Nonsense," Prowl said. "I saw you and Starscream in the mines. Both of you were extremely considerate of the other's plight."

"You," Barricade said, "shut up. Before I'm forced to remind you how sexy you are."

Optimus cleared his vocalizer. He did not want to revisit this. Maybe later-he suspected it would be a good laugh later. But right now, they had bigger priorities.

****

Starscream frowned, feeling Thundercracker's eyes take in his damaged face, and more, register the concomitant lack in his capabilities. No depth perception meant he was more or less ground bound. "It has been," Starscream said, "an exceedingly trying mission."

"Yeah, I gathered as much from the copter."

"Has he made it to the base yet?"

"Flew him in myself, so his beacon wouldn't register. That pod, though…we're going to have to explain it sooner or later."

"Scavenger," Starscream said. "He is my explanation for many things that look like junk. Just as I blame everything that looks too crazy on Wildrider."

"That must be some mental rolodex you have there, jet," Sideswipe muttered. "I take responsibility for my actions. Keeps it simple."

"Simple is as simple does," the jet retorted.

"Will you PLEASE stop arguing?" Ratchet looked more than usually aggrieved. Probably because he couldn't decide which of the mechs in front of him deserved to be hit with a wrench first. "We have a ship to fix." He turned to Thundercracker. "Any word on a catalyzer?"

"I told Blackout to get Hook. He'll know what to bring."

"Eugh. He'll bring it in three different sizes."

"Well, the good news is it'll be fixed forever."

"That is NOT good news, Thundercracker: we are talking about an enemy ship."

"Frag." Thundercracker turned to survey the damaged vessel. "Not sure even Hook can get this thing going again." He turned back. "I can help you with astrogation if it needs to happen," he offered.

"That would not help Blackout and Barricade," Starscream said. "Nor Soundwave, though I am still unsure of his status. Would you be able to pull his mission specs?"

"Not without the right codes. In a bit maybe." Thundercracker shot a dark look at Ratchet and Sideswipe.

"I suppose I shall once again act as the natural leader that I am," Starscream said, abruptly. "We do no good to the ship from here." He trudged across the grey-brown rubble of the moon's surface.

Thundercracker frowned, shrugged, and turned to follow Starscream-their longer legs outpacing the Autobots. "Want to tell me what's bothering you?"

"The time is entirely insufficient to catalog the series of indignities and disasters I have suffered through on this mission."

"Brief update as to what we still face."

"Soundwave is..unreliable. Barricade requires handling-please allow me to do the handling. And we are forced to collaborate with these Autobots."

"Why forced? I told you, you and I can jet out of here whenever. If you want, we can grab Barricade: though I seem to recall he kind of hates being flown. Chances are we can intercept Blackout and the catalyzer and head off on our way, leaving these losers to their loserdom."

Starscream sighed. "We, alas, cannot. They know too much."

"So…we're waiting for a double cross?"

"I am hoping instead that we find out enough about them that they find it worth their while to forget what they found out about us."

Thundercracker blinked, slowly. "Oooookay. But sabotaging the ship would be easier."

"There is easy, and then there is," they both spoke the last part, like a secret joke, "the Decepticon way."

****

Barricade shivered, the first of the hallucinations floating just out of range of his optics. Ha ha, he told himself. Hope it was worth it, that little prank on Ironhide, because you're going to pay for it now. He looked anxiously between Prowl and Optimus-both of them were elbow deep in the main computer. Barricade took a few steps back, hoping it wouldn't look too obvious if he let himself slip, slowly, to the floor. He hated this. He could call the jet to knock him out again. He hated asking for help. No. He could pull himself through this. It wasn't that bad. This wasn't stronger than him. Bigger than him.

He fought, pushing the hallucination further away, like trying to blow away a mist or fog. It skirled around his edges of control, tendrils reaching in. No. He pushed back harder. Frag, Blackout, where are you? He felt a chilly premonition: they were all going to die here. Soundwave would try something again. Soundwave didn't like losing. Liked it even less than Barricade did. The fact that he hadn't tried anything, even during the defibrillator thing, confirmed to Barricade that the satellite was Up To Something.

A whine tried to claw its way out of his vocalizer. He stifled it.

Optimus looked back over his shoulder. "Barricade? Are you all right?"

"M fine," he muttered. The words didn't come out as angry as he'd wanted. Didn't have that 'back the frag off' punch he was hoping for.

Prowl looked back at Barricade. His optics were a little too discerning. Barricade summoned a sneer just for him. Special gift, just for you, Prowlypants, he thought. "Optimus," Prowl said, slowly, "Being underground, none of us were able to use solar recharge. Perhaps we all could use some energon."

"Yes," Optimus said. "Probably all of us could use a break. We need to make sure that those in the med bay get some energon as well." He nodded Prowl off to the task. He turned to Barricade, dropping to one knee in front of him.

"Barricade?"

Barricade glared at the visage of the concerned Autobot leader crouched awkwardly in front of him, this was the last thing he needed, false niceties. "Didn't think our relationship had progressed that far Prime." He growled his optics flicking over to where Optimus was knelt down on one knee.

Optimus shifted and knelt down completely in front of the acerbic 'con. This was going to be difficult. His joints ached and from what he could tell there wasn't a part of his armour that didn't hurt in some way, not to mention he hadn't recharged since the mission began. That and the combined energon loss and attempted hack of his cortex had worn him down. He now felt he was on the last teetering edge of his patience as well as his sanity.

"Look I know this is difficult for you."

"Got no fraggin' idea."

Optimus sighed, Barricade was going to have an answer for everything no matter how hard he tried to play nice. Right now he didn't see that he had any other choice. "I just want to help. Is there… anything I can do?"

"Can stuff yourself in a smelter." Barricade decided that would be both entertaining and a good riddance. Was the Autobot going to take him up on his suggestion, not fraggin' likely.

Optimus dropped his gaze and pinched the bridge of his nose wearily. "Look Barricade." His voice took on a more commanding note, despite the lack of authority he was feeling at that very moment. "I didn't do this to you. I am genuinely concerned for your well being while you're on my ship and errr not trying to hijack it." He added hastily.

"Charmed." Barricade shot back with a glower.

"Just can you tell me what it is, that's wrong. What I can do?"

"Already given you a suggestion: you didn't fancy turning yourself into a tin can for me."

"That would be rather counterproductive to our current situation, don't you think?" He sincerely wished Prowl would hurry back with the energon. His SIC at least seemed to have some inkling of what was wrong with Barricade and he, as usual, was getting nowhere.

He moved a short distance away from Barricade and sat himself down gingerly. Barricade watched him suspiciously, not entirely comfortable with the whole 'let's be friends' vibe Prime was giving off. A small part of him wished that Prowl would return sooner rather than later, he at least didn't ask impertinent questions about things that weren't any of his slagging business.

"I honestly sometimes wonder how we've managed to fight for so long."

Barricade was taken aback by the random statement. "Mutual dislike and boredom." He stated blandly, not really wanting to get into a debate about the finer points of a war that no one really remembered the cause of in the first place.

Optimus laughed quietly. "You're probably quite right." This was better at least he could engage in pointless conversation when he had to.

"How you've managed to command that bunch of miscreants you call an army for so long is probably the more fascinating question." Barricade shot back, suddenly wanting a distraction from the hallucinations that were beginning to plague him once more.

"Patience, practice and not without making an example out of one or two along the way." Frag, GO AWAY. Stop staring at me. The energy of trying to appear all…normal was really starting to wear on him.

Barricade huffed at that statement. "Sounds like a Megatron tactic."

"Ah no, luckily I have Prowl to set the examples for me." He smirked. "He is far more… creative than me when it comes to appropriate reprimands."

Well, that sounded just lovely. Barricade forced himself still as a shudder wracked his frame. "Way to delegate." Barricade spoke even quieter now, his optics focused on the floor with fierce intensity.

Optimus noticed the tension in Barricade's frame and continued the menial chatter in a hope that it would distract him from whatever it was that was bothering him. He carried on talking until Barricade relaxed again a few moments later.

"You ok?"

Barricade just glared at him and was thankful when a cube of energon was held in front of his face. He glanced up to see Prowl standing over him holding out the energon cube. "Fine."

"You need your strength."

"M' fine," he repeated, irritably.

"The slag you are." Prowl snapped thrusting the cube into Barricade's hands before turning on his heel and handing the other cube to Optimus.

"Gettin' under your plating sexy bot?" He summoned up a burst of strength to inflect his voice. Wasn't going to show weakness in front of these slaggin' Autobots. What they don't know…they can't use against me.

Prowl shot him a dark look and vented a cycle of air. Optimus frowned at him, noticing for the first time the newly formed dents in his armour plating, and the faint splattering of energon contrasting his monochrome paintwork.

"Prowl what happened?"

The black and white mech met his leader's frown with a weary; - I'm-on-my-last-fraggin'- nerve - glare. "There was an incident in the med bay."

"What?" Optimus winced as he pushed himself to his feet. "Why wasn't I informed?"

"There was no time." Prowl held out his hands to placate his increasingly agitated leader, at least he wasn't the only one losing his last shred of patience on this Primus forsaken mission. Prowl swore silently to himself that he wasn't ever going to volunteer for any more missions and was going to lock himself in his office for the remainder of their time on Earth. "Ratchet has been informed; he's on his way to the med bay to tend the injuries now."

Optimus's optics spiraled outwards in sheer disbelief. "Injuries? What in Primus's name is going on Prowl?!" And why was he suddenly being left out of the loop?

"Please Sir I can explain."

Barricade chuckled darkly as he sipped at his energon. It made a change to see the unflappable Autobot, well flapping. Certainly more entertaining than feeling the wet haze grasping at his cortex again. Suddenly, drinking the energon seemed like a bad idea. Fueling his systems. He needed a reboot. But he would NOT stoop to asking them. He put the cube aside.

Optimus towered over his SIC, his hands firmly planted on his hips. He had, had enough. Either they were going to learn to cooperate for their mutual benefit or he was going to off line the lot of them in a fit of temporary insanity when he finally snapped.

"Well you better start."

****


	39. Chapter 39

_Cycle Earlier _

_Prowl made his way silently through the Ark's vast hallways towards the rec room, his processor running through the probabilities that they would make it off the moon without further incident. Much to his dismay it didn't look likely. He still felt the residual ache in his cortex and fought back the fatigue bleeding into his systems. It wouldn't do Optimus much good if he collapsed now especially seeing as the only other able bodied mechs were either stuck in the med bay or out on the surface. They were outnumbered, three uninjured Autobots against two seekers, Barricade who was far from incapacitated and Soundwave not to mention his Cassetticons. Those, Prowl concluded dismally - if things were to get real ugly, real quick - were not good odds at all. _

_He reached the rec room; somehow it felt smaller when it was this empty. Heading straight for the energon dispenser he began to prepare cubes for everyone. The dispensers managed to fill four cubes before they ran dry. Sub spacing the containers he made to leave, thankful that at least one task could be done without something going wrong. _

_His comm buzzed. Prowl's optics flickered off line momentarily. Spoke to soon. _

_//Go ahead.// _

_//Get your aft to the med bay!// _

_//Ironhide? What's wrong? What's happening?!// _

_//Just MOVE IT!! Gaaahhh fraggin' stinkin' 'con!!// _

_Prowl started at those words, knowing they weren't directed at him, he sprinted as fast as he could to the med bay. Running towards the Automatic doors Prowl didn't slow down, realisation dawning on him too late that the doors had been sealed, and they weren't going to open. _

_"Frag!!" He swore loudly, uncharacteristically, staring up at the ceiling after slamming full speed into the locked doors. _

_Jumping to his feet, he proceeded to hack the door lock as his own codes weren't working. The racket coming from behind the doors was more than a little disconcerting. He took a couple of sudden steps back as something large and heavy slammed into the other side of the door, followed by a few choice expletives. He winced for Ironhide and resumed his attack on the door lock. _

_Finally the doors hissed open, weapon drawn Prowl took stock of the scene before him. Bumblebee had Ravage pinned against a berth, the feline Casseticon was hissing and snarling ferociously at his capture. Ironhide was half laid, half slouched against the wall, his arms enveloping a writhing, squirming Rumble. His protests muffled by Ironhide's large hand covering his face. _

_"Took your slaggin' time." Ironhide grumbled, wincing as Rumble's foot made contact with his injured leg. _

_Prowl wasn't in the mood. "Soundwave?" _

_Ironhide simply looked up. Following his gaze Prowl's optics narrowed. The ventilation shaft was warped and twisted and Soundwave was nowhere to be seen. Cursing colourfully in Cybertronian - enough to raise Ironhide's brow - Prowl rushed to the nearest console. _

_"Teletraan, seal the ventilation system." _

_*Unable, insufficient power.* _

_Prowl's spark sank. "Locate Soundwave." _

***

Moon surface

//Prowl to Ratchet we have a problem.//

//Oh what the slag is it now? Like I don't have enough to deal with.//

//Soundwave has escaped he's on the surface, we have injured.//

//Oh for the love of Primus! Can't I trust any of you to keep things in check while I fix our only ride out of here? Is that too much to fraggin' ask.//

Prowl's optic ridge twitched at the medic's rant on the other end of the comm. Muffled voices seeped into his audio.

//Prowl Starscream says Soundwave will have used his third alt mode to get off the surface. Turns out he's a flier too. Might have fraggin' guessed.//

//We have captured the Cassetticons, ask Starscream to return with you, I have a few questions I need to ask him.//

//On my way.//

Ironhide narrowed one optic at his superior. "What do you mean we?" He goaded.

Prowl cast him a long suffering look before rolling his optics with a soft groan.

****

"Escaped?!" Optimus looked like he was about to blow, something. His hand ran down his face in exasperation. "Soundwave has escaped?"

"Yes Sir."

"And you're injured." He stated waving his hand at the dents and stains littering Prowl's armour.

"It is minor; Ravage got free of Bumblebee's grasp and attacked me. He is being restrained along with Rumble."

Sighing loudly, Optimus turned to Barricade who put on his decidedly most innocent expression. "What is Soundwave's mission?"

Barricade simply shrugged and sipped his energon. "Need to know."

"Well I think right now, it would be pertinent for us to know!" Optimus snapped.

"Can't help you chief. Wasn't on the privy to sensitive information list myself."

Prowl glanced at his leader. "Prime, I don't think Barricade or the others I was with below the surface know anything about Soundwave's intentions."

"Fine." Pinching his nose Optimus sighed once more. "Go to the med bay and find out what you can."

Prowl shifted. "I already have, they revealed nothing. Thundercracker is attempting to retrieve the information."

Barricade watched with great amusement as Optimus swung round to face his second. To Prowl's credit he managed to hold his ground, despite his door wings being held high and rigid at an angle that could only be uncomfortable.

"Thundercracker?! Another seeker is here?"

"I..."

"And you didn't think it would be good time to tell me as soon as you found out Prowl?!"

"There were more pressing matters, sir."

"Oh for Primus's sake! Is there anything else you're keeping from me?"

Prowl's optics widened at the accusation. "No Prime, of course not."

Optimus dismissed him with an agitated wave. "Go to the med bay and bring Thundercracker here."

Prowl gave a curt nod and marched briskly from the command center. Barricade smirked; this was a much better distraction. "Feel better?"

Optimus shot him an unreadable look with narrow optics before returning to his work on the main console.

"Shining example of Autobot leadership," Barricade muttered. The hallucinations swirled around him again, faster as the energon hit his processing systems.

His only response was a low threatening growl.

****

The med bay looked very full when Prowl arrived. His optics fell onto Thundercracker who was quietly discussing something with Starscream while Ratchet worked on Ironhide once again.

"Thundercracker, Starscream. Prime would like to speak with you." Not waiting for a response Prowl left as quickly as he'd arrived.

Thundercracker shot a look at his Trinemate. "Really."

"Oh, Thundercracker," Starscream sighed, "You have no idea."

"I don't think I want any idea." Thundercracker turned back to the console.

"They have some notion that since this is their ship, they have the rights to, well, apparently discard all proper etiquette."

"Stupid notion that Thundercracker, for one, will not encourage."

"We might have to, Thundercracker. They have Barricade. While he is technically not a hostage, it is rather like us being 'allies'-a semantic distinction that possibly has no utility." Starscream tried to hide his worry. He knew Barricade must be getting worse. But…why wasn't he being brought to med bay? Disturbing.

Thundercracker shot him a look, and then sighed. Starscream took his responsibilities too seriously sometimes. "You don't seem that concerned about your other mission-mech."

"Dead End, first off, was annoying. Second, he is dead. Even I do not worry about the dead."

"So…you want me to go to talk to this Prime?" Thundercracker hated showing blind obedience. That was really more Starscream's line.

The bronze jet sighed. "It would be, if nothing else, an opportunity for you to make your own conclusions."

"Fair enough." Thundercracker looked around the bay: the yellow mech and the one they called Ironhide glowered down at the two Cassetticons, taking some time to shoot nasty looks at the large jets. As if to prevent either of them from having ideas. Right. Because a glare from a yellow mech who looks like he's got a ball in his mouth is just…terrifyingly intimidating. Ridiculous. "Blackout should be inbound soon, unless Hook is even more…persnickety than usual. Might as well go distract the Autobot 'leadership' from that inevitable fiesta."

****


	40. Chapter 40

Starscream tried to hide his distress, and then his anger, upon seeing Barricade slumped in the corner, his talons curled around a cube of energon. He knew better than to blame the Autobots for his condition, but they should at least see that he needed care. //You are unwell,// he observed.

//'M fine.//

//Barricade. You are either lying to yourself or to me. Either way, it is an untrue statement. You are not fine.//

//Don't humiliate me in front of these fraggin' Autobots.// A hint of his characteristic snarl.

//Why do you think I am sub vocing you?//

In front of him, Thundercracker marched right into Optimus's personal space. He showily rolled his red optics. "I have been summoned."

"Thundercracker," Optimus said. "We are…unsure of your intentions."

"Hrm. If I intended to cause any further damage to this ship…seems to me I could have come in low and fast and done it from the sky. So…that clue you in?"

Optimus sighed. Another difficult Decepticon. Just what he needed. "Have you brought the catalyzer?"

Thundercracker shrugged, stepping in closer. Sideswipe shifted uneasily. Silly Autobot, Thundercracker thought. I'm a range-mech. Not really into hand to hand. But he knew the intimidation value of looming over an enemy. "The catalyzer is coming. With an engineer. I came because you could probably use other assistance, but I see I'm a little late. You Autobots have-unsurprisingly-fragged up and let Soundwave get away."

Sideswipe bridled at the insult. Good. The best kind of Autobot was the irritated kind. Well, actually DEAD was the best kind. But they could still salvage SOMETHING from this mission to take to Megatron, and to do that, at least for now, these Autobots had to stay on the functional side. "Not really sure how having another fragging jet helps anything," Sideswipe muttered.

"Shortsighted," Starscream snapped.

"Seriously," Barricade mumbled. "Stop it with the 'sight' jokes. We know you can fraggin' see."

"WELL," Thundercracker said, "I could actually be doing something useful but instead I was informed I had to drop everything and rush into Optimus's august presence."

"Because he's the leader, maybe?"

"Oh sure, Autobot. Fine." Thundercracker crossed his arms. "So…lead."

//What do you need from me?//Starscream asked.

//Dunno. Everything's kind of falling apart. Like. Inside.// Barricade twirled the half empty cube in his talons. //Prolly shouldn't've drunk this. Best bet if I restart from energon depletion.// He held it up. //Take it.//

Starscream stepped closer, snatching the cube from Barricade's hand.

"Hey!" Sideswipe protested. "That's not for you!"

"I have commandeered it," Starscream said, haughtily. "As none was offered to me, and unlike Barricade, I have actually been mobile." He tossed back the rest of the cube's contents, smacking his lips vulgarly, just to irritate the Autobot further. Optimus's frown was…immensely satisfying.

//Thanks,// Barricade said, with a strange sincerity that did not feel very nice at all to either of them.

Suddenly the computer console blipped at them, causing them all to stare at it accusingly.

*Incoming aircraft*

"Ah, Blackout is returning."

"'Bout fraggin time." Sideswipe muttered. "Figured for sure he'd've pulled a run on us."

"You do not know Blackout very well," Starscream snapped.

****

Ratchet stood outside the ship, where he'd been standing; surveying the damage they had yet to repair. The two jets had gone inside, and Sideswipe with them, and Ratchet was grabbing a few moments of blessed silence. The task in front of him was…immense.

And then his peace was ruined by the others pouring out of the ship. "Incoming," Sideswipe had said, unsheathing his blades. The two jets trailed after. Ratchet folded his arms across his chest, Sideswipe fidgeting beside him energon blades at the ready.

"Will you put those away already before you hurt yourself." Ratchet grumbled, ignoring the pointed glare from the silver mech.

"We have no idea who's on that transport, Ratchet. I'm not taking any chances.

Ratchet bit back a retort as the transport landed with a loud clang and a thud. Prowl appeared beside the medic, his face stern and tired. Ratchet shot him a glance. "Have you refueled?"

"There wasn't enough left. The others required it more. I'm fine."

"Hmph, I'll remind you of that when you collapse in a heap."

Prowl quirked an orbital ridge at him. "Of that I have no doubt." He set off towards the settled transport leaving Ratchet glaring after him.

Blackout was the first to leave the small ship. "You made it then? I didn't think you'd come here."

Thundercracker cast him a sly grin. "What and leave my idiot trine mate to get himself off lined and not be here to witness it? Please, Blackout you should give me more credit."

"Yeah and hey, thanks for recommending Hook," Blackout frowned. "Sings to himself when he gets bored."

"Oh, right. I forgot about that little quirk."

Sideswipe tensed as another mech left the ship, his arms full of different engine parts and various tools. The 'con was considerably smaller than Blackout and did not have quite as friendly a look on his faceplates. Then again Sideswipe couldn't recall when he'd last met a Decepticon as helpful and as close to friendly as one of them could get. Blackout really was an oddity in his mind.

"You're Hook I take it?" Ratchet addressed the smaller mech with a fierce scrutiny, everyone knew Ratchet was very particular with who he worked with.

The newcomer gave the small crowd an appraising look, his expression disinterested. Stepping off the ship, he stepped up to the medic and looked him up and down, a feat considering he was the smaller of the two. Letting out a noise of disdain, he ignored everyone else. "Engine room," he stated.

"Straight to the point. Carry on like that we'll get along fine." Ratchet surmised waving his wrench in the direction of the smaller mech.

Hook breezed past him heading towards the Ark. "Hardly." He uttered, not waiting for Ratchet to follow him.

"Oh this is going to be fun to see." Sideswipe grinned ignoring the pointed look from Prowl.

"I will be surprised if your medic hasn't been impaled with his own wrench before your ship is repaired. Hook doesn't appreciate his work being interfered with." Thundercracker added, amused.

Prowl dropped his helm and sighed audibly. Shaking his head he started in the direction of the ship. Muttering to himself with weary impatience. "Must all of you require supervision?"

****

They had been working on the engine for the better part of an hour and still the engine refused to work. Even after Hook had replaced the catalyzer. Tempers were running hot, well Ratchet was ready to blow a gasket whereas Hook had remained distinctly unfazed; he was even giving Prowl a run for his energon in the dispassionate rankings of who could be the least excitable robot.

Ratchet growled once more, hurling the wrench at the console that simply refused to cooperate. Hook glanced up, that same bland expression on his face plates. "Doesn't help."

"Well I don't see you doing anything constructive. Little more than spare parts."

"If you like I can help you demonstrate exactly how spare parts behave." Hook replied quietly, his red optics glowed marginally.

"Oh I do hope that's a threat 'con..."

Hook didn't remove his focus from the engine panel he was up to his elbows in. "Demonstrating temper does not fix anything. You're more likely to cause even more damage."

His dry tone was not lost on the irate medic as he went back to work on an adjacent part of the engine. "I was thinking more along the lines of which parts of your anatomy would be compatible with the engine."

Hook made a noise of faint disapproval. "With that attitude I am amazed this ship has ever been space worthy." He sat up and gave Ratchet an incredulous look. "Then again you do have a disparaging habit of flying into the side of mountains." His mouth plates twitched. "I wonder if this is a narcissistic tendency of yours to feel the need to constantly prove your usefulness to the rest of your faction or if they just have an overwhelming need to off line themselves so they aren't graced with your ever so bright disposition." He turned back to the panel once again uninterested in the medic.

"I'll have you know I don't do the flying. We'd actually stay in the air if I did and my disposition has no bearing on how I treat my patients."

"So you do, do something other than complain. I'm impressed." Hook's tone told him he was anything but impressed. "You snark your own mechs."

A tense silence settled between the two and Prowl stood quietly in the corner having resorted to resting his face in his palm at the sound of the two bickering mechs. He knew better than to get involved.

"So..." Hook's impassive, bland voice spoke up from beneath the panel. "Ratchet, when did you discover verbal torture was your most effective weapon?"

Ratchet snarled and went to hurl his tool at the 'con.

"Ratchet." Prowl didn't need to say anything further, his stern tone was enough for Ratchet to stand down.

"Don't you ever get tired of boring mechs to death 'con? Be nice if you could do something actually useful."

Hook peered out from the panel his faceplates shifting into a thin, humourless smile. "You mean like this." He twitched his arm and drew back.

The engine suddenly filled with a deep, throbbing hum as the engine powered back to life. Ratchet's mouth fell open. "How did you?"

Hook stood and gazed upon his handiwork. "That is simple Ratchet, I have superior skill."

****

Blackout grumbled. These Autobots were unfriendly, and all he'd been trying to do was help! Ratchet had looked like he was going to explode into a mass of sharp dangerous tools as Hook began tearing up the deck plating. Prowl had given him a hairy optic, and told him maybe he could find some way to be out of the way and useful. Yeah, that was pretty rich coming from the mech who seemed to be engaged in holding up the wall with his fraggin' doorwings.

Someone had to know where Barricade was. And he thought he might know…. //Billabong, what's up?//

//Blackout! You're back!//

//Yeah. Where are you?//

//In the med bay. We're supposed to be guarding prisoners but….uhhhh, Soundwave kind of escaped.//

//Awww, don't worry Barrabas. It happens to the best of us. Hey, you know where Barricade is? Our grounder?//

//I think he's on the bridge with Optimus.//

//Great. I'll check in with you later. You like…hold down the fort or something.//

//Glad you got back safe.//

Awww, that was nice. Good to know there was one decent Autobot. Now, to find Barricade and see how he could really help. And see how much more he had to apologize. Better get it over with.


	41. Chapter 41

"This underutilization of our abilities is appalling," Thundercracker muttered, as he and Starscream hovered another piece of thermal plating into position. Hook had had the foresight (thank the spark SOMEONE did) to bring an all purpose fabber with him on the minishuttle, and had been throwing everything not bolted down into it to produce hull plating.

"I agree wholeheartedly," Starscream said, "but if we do not assist, we are simply stuck here in their pernicious company for that much longer."

"Good point." Thundercracker sighed.

"The sooner we can get this business behind us, the sooner I can blame someone else for it and pretend it never happened," Starscream said.

Thundercracker nodded sagely. Sideswipe clambered his way up the side of the ship awkwardly, using hull magnets. Clank-clack, clack-clank, he advanced slowly up the ship. "At this rate, though…."

Sideswipe glared at him, pulling his bolt setter from his compartment. "Just hold it still and shut up, 'con."

The jets looked at each other over Sideswipe's head. "Famed Autobot manners," Starscream said.

"Don't know how you put up with this."

"THIS is an improvement. For most of this jaunt, I was blind."

Thundercracker shuddered. "Hey, you know, you could let Hook take a look at that."

Starscream's turn to shudder. "Thank you, but no. Hook would doubtless insist upon some…upgrade modifications that would inevitably be unsightly."

Thundercracker grinned. "Yeah, but eyebeams would be cool."

"You just think that it would make you more attractive by contrast."

"Hey! Can you two shut up and hold the plate still?"

"Can you actually do your job?" Thundercracker muttered. "Lucky we're doing this at all." He saw Starscream's head tilt abruptly-getting a subvoc call. He inched closer. "We're warriors and suited to far better things than this."

"Yeah, well, I'm a warrior, too, and I don't think this is beneath me. A good Autobot does what's necessary to help his friends."

"And so…you're a good Autobot?"

"I'm helping my friends."

"Aren't you the cause of this whole mess? I mean, isn't this your ship? And thus…your excellent piloting skills we are currently…recovering from?"

Sideswipe gripped his tool, ready to launch it at the blue jet. "Ah!" Thundercracker laughed. "More of that Autobot charm!" Sideswipe growled and bent over the plate, ignoring the jet so hard the effort was almost audible.

He didn't notice Starscream hopping down from his place.

***

When Starscream arrived at the bridge, his way was impeded by the bulk of Blackout's main engine. And the copter's voice, roaring, echoed around the small chamber. "This is how you treat an ally?! He's right in front of you and you, what? don't even notice?"

"Blackout," Optimus began. "He insists that he is fine."

"Does he LOOK fine? Frag, you sic'ed your crazy aft medic on me-but Barricade you're just gonna let starve to death right in fraggin' front of you. Nice, Autobot. Seriously."

Blackout dropped to his knees in front of Barricade, holding a newly opened energon cube. "Here you go, Barricade. Drink up." Barricade turned his head away.

"Come on! You need your strength. Hey, whatever these filthy Autobots did to you, you're safe now. We can get through this!" Blackout clamped a hand around Barricade's small talons. "You know you can talk to me any time, right?"

Barricade rolled desperate optics to Starscream.

"Blackout," Optimus began again.

The copter shot him a glare. "You shut up, leader." He turned back to Barricade. "I know this Autobot stuff is probably swill, Barricade, but you gotta have some." He moved the cube around in front of Barricade's optics. "You know you want some delicious energon, don't you? Yes you do! Look! Here comes the energon copter! Coming in for a landing!"

Starscream grabbed one of Blackout's rotors and pulled…hard. Barricade looked like he was kliks away from proving that one could, in fact, offline from sheer mortification.

"Blackout," he said, "Take Barricade to the medical bay and summon Ratchet or Hook. Do not leave him." He then rounded on Optimus as the copter scooped up the smaller mech, Barricade's head lolling pathetically over Blackout's arm. "I am here, as well, to hear what fantastic leadership you have for us next."

"We are trying to make the ship operational," Optimus explained.

"You mean, by 'we', of course, the Decepticons. Who repaired your engines? Who is making your new hull plates? Who is doing most of the hard work installing them? All while you…ignore the basic wellbeing of one of our mechs. Just as your counterpart did in the tunnels with Dead End."

"We're doing our best."

"Our best is simply better, then."

"Look," Optimus said, impatiently. "What do you want? We don't have time for this."

"No," Starscream huffed. "That is correct. I do not have time for this." He turned on his heel and walked out.

***

"Optimus ordered this?" Sideswipe complained. "Are you sure?"

"Definitely," Starscream said, watching the Autobots bend and pick up chunks of Neptunium and dropping them into bins. "He said that it was to replace the samples lost in the initial assault. Which…since we caused, we feel like we should help remedy." He rolled his one functioning optic at Thundercracker.

"I have to say," Thundercracker said, "You certainly have adventures trailing in your wake. Picking up rock. Huzzah."

"Highly explosive rock," Starscream retorted. Thundercracker eyed the greenish chunk with new appreciation.

"Isn't this how we ended up on this fraggin' rock, by collecting… rock?" Sideswipe grumbled, dumping yet another handful of impure Neptunium into his container.

Ratchet snorted. "We didn't frag up the mining operation. If the 'cons had left well enough alone, we'd all be home now."

Sideswipe cast a dirty look back at the two seekers who were just watching them. "So why didn't Prime order them two to do the fraggin' collecting?"

"He probably did." Ratchet replied disinterested in Sideswipe's growing ire.

"And that doesn't get under your plating?"

"Prime has enough on his plate without me griping about things that need doin'"

Sideswipe stopped in his tracks and stared at the medic in disbelief. "Who the slag are you and what have you done with Ratchet?"

"Just had enough of bein' on this Primus damned rock. The sooner we get back on the ship, the sooner we get to Earth and I will never have to listen to 'cons bickering again."

"Yeah but you still got us." Sideswipe grinned.

Ratchet glared at him, a handful of Neptunium at the ready.

"Aw come on, Ratchet! We're not that bad." Sideswipe ducked out from the line of fire of Ratchet's glare. "It's not like you want to leave us here too."

"Don't tempt me."

**

Barricade had no idea how he'd made it to the med bay, which kind of freaked him out. He saw an energon line running into his intake, and then Hook's freakylookin' face staring down at him. "Interesting glitch," the engineer observed.

"Glad I'm so slaggin' entertaining," Barricade tried to sound sarcastic, but it came out sounding a little weird.

Hook smirked. "I am unable to fix it at the moment. Not without destroying your higher processing functions. And I suspect that the ability may be something you might not choose to part with."

"Part with it in an astroklik," Barricade muttered. "Matters now," he pushed himself up to a sitting position, "Is what's going on."

He saw Blackout's shape over by the yellow Autobot. This…was a disturbing trend he did not like. "Hey, rotorbutt. You picking out colors for the wedding with Marcel Marceau over there?"

Blackout turned. "I figured Hook was okay to leave you with. We're trying to figure something out."

"Yeah? Without talking? You like psychic now or are you using sign language?"

"Uhhh, hey." He turned to the yellow mech for a second and then back to Barricade. "You could totally help us."

"'Barricade' and 'help' do not belong in the same sentence," Barricade griped. But curiosity got the better of him. "What is it?"

"These Cassetticons know more than they're letting on. I was thinking you might, you know; do that voodoo that you do," he paused looking vaguely confused, "so well?"

Hook shook his head. "Utilizing his hacking programming again so soon would have some possibly permanent and unpleasant consequences."

Blackout's face fell. "Just a thought."

"A thought." Barricade pulled a face. "Get the little freak over here."

Blackout seized Rumble, his large hands clamping around the small shoulders. He held the mechlet off the ground so that even if Rumble did get the one idea he ever got, he couldn't deploy his piledrivers.

"Frag yourself," Rumble snapped. " You think I'm telling you anything, CADE?" he sneered.

Barricade shrugged. "You think I care that you hate me? Primus. EVERYONE hates me." He glared at Blackout, who was opening his mouth to protest. "What you should worry about is Soundwave. How's it feel to be ditched by him, huh? I bet that hurts."

"Shows how much YOU know," Rumble snarled. "He'll come back for us."

"Really? He's planning to come back then?"

Rumble snapped his mouth shut, his red visor glaring at Barricade.

Barricade smirked. "Of course not, though. Wishful thinking on your parts, isn't it? He's got other cassettes. He can probably get more. Ones that are already like, you know, housebroken. And way better dancers."

Rumble twitched. "You shut up! Soundwave cares a slag of a lot about us! You'll see!! You'll all see! And then we'll see what happens when we deal with who gets busted for collaboration and who doesn't."

Barricade shot a look at Blackout, who was, in turn, looking to Hook. "Not the first time," Hook said blandly, "I've been accused of anything. Most mechs know which side their cyberbread is buttered on, though."

"Still," Barricade muttered, "something we have to work around."

**

The Seekers had gathered on the bridge while Prowl and Optimus powered up the main computer. Both of them had…well, not so graciously refused to attempt to pilot the ship. "I think not," Starscream had said, "I need a show of poor piloting to life my mood."

The jets were exhausted, from bending and carrying the neptunium chunks into the hold. Sideswipe had been tasked to relieve the med bay-more likely, to make sure Barricade and Ironhide didn't kill each other, though Starscream didn't think that was something Sideswipe was likely to help with.

The engines thrummed. Prowl frowned, as if not liking the sound, and dove to press his face closer to a readout. Optimus looked worried, which was, Starscream had decided, one of only two facial expressions the leader possessed: worried and petulant. Still, that gave him one more than Megatron had.

"We'll call for help," Optimus said, "as soon as we have a straight comm shot to our base."

"So…we're going into Autobot territory," Thundercracker said, blandly. "Interesting. And who made this command decision?"

"Silly, the commanding commander," Starscream said. "Because all of his decisions have been excellent thus far."

"I do not hear you recommending a better course of action," Prowl said, pointedly.

"Of course not. At this point, it would be folly for me to suggest anything. It would merely be ignored. Besides, I do not want to delay anything-ANYTHING-that might get us off this blasted rock."

"Is that the sexy one?" Thundercracker stage whispered.

"You shall have to ask Barricade," Starscream responded.

The ship lurched, wobbling, the engines roaring, over throttled. The ship jumped. The Seekers stumbled against each other, Prowl sprawled across the console. Optimus's hands clutched the throttle grimly.

"Magnetic flux," Prowl said, heaving himself back to upright. "There must be another of the geysers coming." He shot a pointed look back at the jets. "That is what caused the erratic movement."

"Certainly," Starscream said, smiling snidely. "And I cannot wait to hear what excuse you come up with next."


	42. Chapter 42

A/N The plot…thickens. ^__^

Sideswipe glared at the two cassetticons now restrained rather uniquely in a corner of the med bay. "What the slag happened to them?"

Hook shot him a bland stare. "Oh another one." Rolling his optics he turned back to Barricade, who didn't look well.

"What's up with him?"

Ironhide huffed. "Tried to play hero, hacked into the runt to find out what Soundwave's mission was."

"And?"

The black mech shrugged. "Don't know he went off line."

Bumblebee blipped worriedly and cast a concerned glance over at Blackout.

"Don't know Bleep." Blackout answered sadly. "I hope so."

Sideswipe frowned. //Bumblebee are you talking to that fraggin' 'con?!"

//It was necessary, we were on the surface Sides, you weren't!//

//Still Prime is going to have a fit when he finds out you gave him your comm freq.// Sideswipe snorted. //In fact forget Prime, Prowl is going to have you reformatted.//

Bumblebee suddenly looked concerned. //He'll understand.//

//Doubt it// Sideswipe shrugged, leaning back against the bulkhead, his weapon pointing lazily at the 'cons. //Not the smartest thing you've ever done Bee.//

//Hey leave Boob alone! He's been far more cooperative than the rest of you!// Blackout shot a glare at the silver mech, his rotors twitching slightly.

//Did I ask your opinion?//

"Should have let 'wave frag you." Blackout murmured aloud, prompting a confused look from Ironhide still perched on a berth and a dangerous glare from Sideswipe.

"Oh because you helped a lot."

//He did! I called him to help and he came!//

//Bee, stay out of this you're in enough trouble as it is!//

//Who died and made you leader?// Bumblebee glared and bleeped loudly at Sideswipe who was becoming increasingly more obnoxious.

The ship lurched, sending Blackout careening into the bulkhead. Sideswipe struggled to stay upright on his wheeled feet and Bumblebee clutched tightly onto the berth where Ironhide was perched.

"What the frag!?" Ironhide cursed loudly as he was once again found himself face down on the floor.

"I believe the hyper drive was just activated." Hook hummed to himself. "Interesting strategy I'm sure."

"Had just about enough of this slaggin' mission." Ironhide groused, nursing his injured leg.

Blackout folded his arms. //What got up his tail pipe?//

//Oh don't worry he's always like that.//

//Yeah somethin' died up there a long time ago.// Sideswipe shifted, his glare drifting over to where Hook was monitoring Barricade's condition.

//Oh so now I'm good enough to talk to?//

//Sideswipe's just in a mood because Prime won't let him fly the ship.//

//Bee!//

Blackout grinned. //Best decision he's ever made. Grounders should NOT fly. Fraggin' rule of nature.//

//Shut it 'con before I permanently ground you//

Barricade on lined with a groan before Blackout could retort, the 'copter was immediately by his side. "You had us worried."

Barricade grunted. "Megatron."

All audios in the room picked up the name. Sideswipe moved closer, concern written over his face plates. "Did he just say Megatron?"

"He's coming."

//Prime come in.// Ironhide tapped his audio. "No response."

"Yeah Ratchet diverted power from ship's comm to the engines. I'm the fastest. I'll tell him."

Rumble laughed from his corner. "You're too late!" Ravage snarled in agreement. "If Soundwave has anything to do with it, he's already waiting for you. You're all slagged."

"You know," Barricade said, his voice grey and staticky. "You better hope they have good aim or you might be slagged along with us, Rump."

Ironhide growled and shoved Sideswipe hard. "You still here?!"

"Oh right!" Sideswipe shot out of the med bay as fast as his wheels would take him.

BRIDGE

"So, fly much?" Thundercracker leaned over Prowl's shoulder to peer at the console.

"For the last time. I am perfectly capable of flying the ship." Prowl barely managed to repress the growl that threatened to escape his vocaliser.

Thundercracker glanced back at Starscream. "Touchy, isn't he?"

"You have no idea."

"Do I want to know?" Thundercracker cocked a supraorbital ridge at his trinemate.

"No." Starscream's voice was firm.

Thundercracker laughed. "Oh, now I REALLY want to know."

"If we survive this Autobot grounder's attempt to violate the laws of physics and nature," Starscream said, "perhaps I shall indulge your curiosity."

"Well, now I want him to succeed." Thundercracker gave a playful pout.

"Now I would like him to fail," Starscream muttered. "Simply to save myself the tedium of the recitation of that litany of horrors."

"That bad?"

"It was dreadful for all of us. Dead End…died. I was violated by a human. And Barricade…well, he has gone so far over the edge that he was flirting-wildly-with that mech." He pointed to Prowl.

Prowl stared pointedly at the cracked viewer, ignoring the jets' conversation directly behind him. "We're approaching escape velocity."

"Hit it." Prime stated, his hand firmly on the throttle.

The ship groaned and creaked as it broke out of the nearly none existent atmosphere. The engines roared in the belly of the ship and Ratchet winced at the loud shrieking of tearing metal. He hit a few numbers into his console and cursed. "We've lost some of the outer hull plating on the lower decks."

"Understood." Prime grimaced. "Will we be able to re-enter Earth's atmosphere?"

"Too early to tell at this point: readings are all over the place."

"Keep it steady, Prowl." Prime directed.

Thundercracker leaned forward once more. "Think you can handle that, flybot?"

Prowl vented an impatient cycle of air and shot Thundercracker a calculating glare. "You're welcome to get out and push."

"More like 'get out before the fireball'." Behind him, Starscream snickered.

Prime noticed the tension building in his SIC. "Do we have hyper drive capabilities, Prowl?"

"With current power levels, we would only have the hyper drive for a duration of 0.374 seconds." He glanced at Prime who stared at him blankly. "We would reach Jupiter, Sir."

Thundercracker quirked an orbital ridge. "He's not bad with the numbers."

"Yes certain Autobots do have their uses." Starscream murmured his optics narrowed at the viewer.

"Something's bothering you."

Starscream glanced at Thundercracker. "It is just… a feeling."

"Soundwave?"

"Mmmm."

"You think he's...?" Thundercracker followed Starscream's gaze and glared out of the viewer scanning the star field for any erroneous readings.

"I have no doubt."

The two seekers fell silent, communicating amongst themselves as they watched the Autobots pilot the ship. The ship itself was holding up well, despite the damage and they accelerated smoothly away from the moon.

Prime opted to remain on central thrusters only, until absolutely necessary. Prowl estimated it would take them over a week to get far enough to activate the hyper drive in order to reach Mars, from their they were on secondary thrusters which would get them to Earth in an estimated 2.5 days.

The calculations were worrisome. They only had enough energon to last the next 3 days and after that they were all running on reserves.

"I have another option." Starscream spoke up, startling the intense 'bot discussion.

"Let's hear it." Prime responded with relief.

"Use the hyper drive, get us to Jupiter. It would not lessen the amount of time that we are out here, but it will - with any luck - take us past our base."

"Do you think us stupid enough to walk into an ambush?" Ratchet shot back.

"Don't answer that, it's a trick question." Thundercracker smirked.

"Yes I agree it is highly illogical to put ourselves in that situation. We would be figuratively dead in the water once we fell out of hyper space."

Starscream rolled his optics. "Are all of you Autobots so short sighted? You will still have thrusters. You would still be able to use the planet's gravitational field to propel you towards Earth, thus using a lot less energy." Grounders knew nothing about parabolic vectors.

"Plus Megatron isn't going to be expecting you to land right on his doorstep so by using the hyper drive now, you'll bypass him and be out of our space by the time he realizes what has happened." Thundercracker added.

Prowl's optics dimmed a little and his helm canted subtly to one side as he worked over the calculations. The seekers might be leading them into a trap. However, they seemed to have no love lost for Soundwave.

"Prowl?"

"It could work Prime." He turned to his leader. "And it is the most logical method of avoiding a confrontation with Megatron."

"Astonishing! Starscream has a brilliant idea. He rolled his optics. "Why must mechs always seem so surprised?" Starscream sneered.

"You're certain Soundwave will have contacted Megatron?" Prime met Starscream's cool gaze.

"I would." What more proof did these Autobots need.

Turning to Prowl, Prime made his decision. "Do it."

Prowl nodded and turned back to his console. "Brace yourselves."

"Maybe we should exit," Thundercracker muttered. "Better off on our own."

"That would strand Blackout and Barricade with these vexing Autobots."

Thundercracker tilted his head, his expression saying 'are you sure you care that much about them?'. Starscream glowered, almost relieved when the ship lunged forward with a sharp whine and thrum of the engines. The starfield reduced to a blur on the viewer. Barely a second later and the ship slammed to a halt. Prowl and Prime grunted as their frames were crushed against the edge of the consoles with the sudden increase in gravity.

Glancing up at the viewer, their vision was filled with the sight of the large gas giant. "Well, we made it now what?"

Sideswipe flew into the room, skidding to a halt his intakes panting. "Prime….Barricade… Megatron… is coming."

"Yes it's alright Sideswipe, we suspected as much, which is why we activated the hyper- drive early." Prime replied.

"You activated the hyperdrive early because the seekers suggested it," Starscream muttered. "Is no one else tired of the Autobots entirely denigrating our contribution?"

"Sir…"

"But he just said it now… he woke up from his glitch or whatever is wrong with him. Megatron's gonna blow everything. You, me, the moon, the ship…. How big an explosion this neptunium stuff make?" Sideswipe frowned in confusion at his leader. "He hacked into Rumble. It sounded pretty imminent."

"Sir…" Prowl's voice was soft, but urgent.

"Sideswipe, we should have by-passed him, he won't have been able to detect the ship while in hyper space. It'll be some time before he can back track and catch up to us." He was…disquieted, half of his processor occupied trying to calculate, indeed, the size of that explosion.

"SIR!" Prowl raised his voice before Optimus could continue. "Megatron."

Prime's head snapped towards his SIC who was staring at the viewer with wide optics. Following Prowl's gaze, Prime's intakes hitched.

"Oh slag."


	43. Chapter 43

Now edited to RE put in the section breaks that FFN formatting keeps eating. Sorry. :C

"This is your fault!" Sideswipe lunged at Starscream, his energon blades bursting from their housings.

His depth perception hampered by his damaged optics, Starscream dodged, clumsily, to one side. One of the silver mech's blades caught him high on one thigh. He shrieked, swiping out with his barbed hands.

Thundercracker roared, his engines firing on. The room rattled with the sound as he launched himself at Sideswipe. His blue talons struck the silver mech in the side of the head, snapping it against his collar armor as the momentum drove them both to the ground. Starscream pushed up on his good leg, optics straining to focus on the damage. Energon spilled over his armor. He clapped his hands over it, trying to bite down a wail of pain. Thundercracker reared back, one knee crushing Sideswipe's chassis, holding the arm with which the Autobot had struck Starscream by the joint. His other arm was ready to strike.

"Say the word, Starscream, and the hand that did that is a slaggin' trophy."

Prowl kept his optics grimly on the monitor. Enough trouble out there. His processor could not calculate battle solutions on both fronts. Megatron was the larger threat. He had faith that Optimus would solve this squabble.

At least, he hoped it was a squabble.

"Thundercracker," Optimus said. "We're allies. We need each other."

"Perhaps," Thundercracker hissed, "you should have shared that little motivational tidbit with your own side, here."

Starscream fought a rising flood of dizziness. His hands were slick with energon. His own. He was…a large fan of his own energon. In fact, he was its number one fan. He was such a big fan, he rather wanted to keep it all to himself. And seeing it dribbling down his armor, puddling on the deck, made him more than a little woozily. "He did," he said, weakly, "Attack me unprovoked, Prime."

"Unprovoked!? You slaggin' cons have done nothing BUT provoke us the entire time!"

"Enough!" Prowl roared. "I beg your pardon, sir," he added, more quietly, to Optimus, "I am not attempting to usurp your authority, but right now we have larger issues than bruised egos."

"Such as," Starscream said, wobbling, "energon leaks?" He crashed hard on his other knee, which settled Thundercracker. The blue jet crushed the Autobot's wrist before turning away, kneeling over Starscream.

Sideswipe pushed himself back against the wall, staring, appalled, at his injured hand. His energon blade's housing was crumbled-the blade's haft weak and wobbly. He turned to Optimus.

Prime cut him off with a glare. "Do not even think of trying to get sympathy from me, Sideswipe. I know emotions are running high right now, but get yourself under control. We need you to fight against our real enemies."

"We ARE your real enemies," Thundercracker said. He'd opened Starscream's patch kit, and was engaged in affixing a hoseclamp over the leaking line. "Thanks for reminding us."

He pushed back on his heels, hauling Starscream upright. The bronze jet gasped in pain as his injured leg took the weight.

"Be better flying," Thundercracker observed. Starscream nodded. "You head to the airlock," he said. "I'll check on the rest of our mechs. Make sure they haven't gotten some of the same courtesy." He shot a dark look at Sideswipe as he swept out of the room.

"Optimus," Sideswipe said, as the Seekers stormed out, "Don't trust them. This is a set-up."

Optimus sighed. "We have to trust them."

"We don't! They're planning something, I just know it."

"We have to listen to them. Their lives are at stake here, too. And they have been more than cooperative."

"Cooperative?!" Sideswipe held up his broken wrist. "Really cooperative."

"That was excessive, yes, but you did attack first." Optimus commed Ratchet to the bridge. That had to be repaired. "They may be trying something, and we have our guard up," Optimus said, "But right now we don't have any better ideas."

Barricade pushed himself off the berth just as the ship rocked out of hyperdrive. He clattered to the floor, and lay, for a long moment, pushing muffled curses into the floor. Hook stepped back, amused, watching Barricade claw his way upright, his talons clanging against the metal berth.

"If that was that fraggin' jet's idea of a joke," Barricade snarled.

"Hyperdrive," Blackout said. "Autobot thing. You can feel the engines cycling down."

"NOT in the mood for a fraggin' learning experience," Barricade said. He looked down at his legs, as if staring at them would make them less wobbly.

"Just saying."

"And here," Ironhide cut in, his voice patronizing, as he addressed Bee, "We see the charming interpersonal communication skills among filthy Decepticon scum."

"Hey!" Blackout protested. "You're no cleaner than we are!"

"Not the point, rotorbrain," Barricade snapped. "Something bad. Megatron. EVERYONE. Blow the ship. The moon. All of us." He was having a hard time getting words out.

"We should be safe," Blackout said. "I just told you we're out of hyper."

"No." Hook shook his head. "Basic engineering. Fissionable stuff, this neptunium. Not like your typical combustion that requires atmosphere to push against. Kind of like…dust explosion. In space."

Blackout froze. He'd been in a few-lots of suspended particles of…anything from metal dust to organic components, high concentration, and accelerated. UGLY stuff. "So…nothing to stop it."

"Exactly."

"Told you," Barricade snapped. Well, kind of.

"We have to tell the others!" He looked worriedly at the captured cassettes. Rumble snarled at him, clutching his processor. "You two got these under control?"

"YES!" Ironhide bellowed. "We know how to do our fraggin' job."

"Yeah? Letting Soundwave go part of it?" Barricade whipped back at him. Only he was allowed to snipe the copter. Okay, and Starscream. "You'd done your fraggin' job we wouldn't be facing a megabomb."

"Please," Blackout said, his voice desperate. "We gotta let the others know. We'll sort out this other stuff later."

"If there is a later," Barricade snorted.

"I think," Hook said, "I may be able to help. But I'll need access to the main computer."

"Not a CHANCE!" Ironhide howled. "Letting you near the main computers. Right. This whole thing is a trick. A set up."

//Uhhhh, don't you find that a little implausible?// Bee asked. //Blackout didn't have to stop Soundwave in the first place.//

//Whose side are you on?//

Bumblebee looked a little sad. //The good guys.//

"Soundwave," Megatron said, his voice cold. "You are certain they will succumb." He did not inflect it as a question. Megatron did not ask questions: he merely forced his mechs to commit themselves.

"Our firepower is overwhelming," Soundwave said, shifting the weapon uncomfortably in his hands. He would have preferred not to fight at all, but Megatron had insisted. And…Rumble and Ravage were in there. "The ship is barely spaceworthy and 88% of the navigational vectors utilize the gravity well of this planet. They will come by here."

"Only if the Autobots are in control." Mindwipe glared at Soundwave, unimpressed. He'd been gunning for Soundwave ever since he'd been assigned to the Nemesis.

"Untrue," Soundwave countered, glowering at Mindwipe. "Many of the vectors to our station also utilize this well. And besides," he added, smugly, more quietly, so that Megatron could not hear, "I suspect you should be concentrating on how, apparently, an Autobot pod ended up in the hangar on your watch." He gloated as Mindwipe flinched.

"Ah." Megatron readied a weapon, throttling his thrusters. "They have arrived."

Soundwave barely resisted the urge to sneer at Mindwipe as the Autobot ship limped into view. As he had predicted they had managed to repair the ship, despite his damage to the systems. This made him vaguely unhappy, even though he was right.

"What approach to board?" Mindwipe asked. He shifted to his vehicle mode, the soft light reflecting from the gas giant limning his wing panels.

"There will be no boarding," Megatron said. "We blow it as soon as it hobbles into range."

Soundwave's capacitor dropped current. Rumble! Ravage!! "My lord, might I suggest-"

"You may suggest nothing," Megatron said, coldly. "Do not think that I do not recognize this plan for what it is-your pitiful attempt to make up for the fac that you failed-so abjectly-on your own mission objectives."

Soundwave jolted back, stunned, the slap of that insult only outweighed by the ache in his spark as he thought of his underlings.


	44. Chapter 44

Thundercracker launched out of medbay like a rocket. He wasn't even going to bother to try to explain this to that thickheaded Optimus Prime. He'd ordered Blackout to get Barricade and Hook and head out. Leave the slaggin' cassettes to the tender mercies of the Autobots. They were getting out of there. The small shuttle had just enough juice that if they blasted the throttle wide open and plunged straight through Megatron's forces, they might escape the worst of the blast.

He had no doubt that Megatron would blow the shuttle. Whether or not Megatron knew it would be full of a highly fissionable radioactive isotope was another matter. It hadn't been when Soundwave left. Which meant…Megatron could set off, all unknowing, one Pit of an explosion. Hoist by his own petard.

"But we can't leave Bonanza!" Blackout argued, vociferously, to Barricade. "He's done nothing!"

"Precisely the problem," Barricade retorted. "He's done not a fraggin' thing."

"Come on!" Blackout said. He grabbed Barricade by the arm, stopping the smaller mech's progress down the corridor. "We can't just abandon them-they didn't abandon us!"

"They abandoned Dead End pretty damn easily."

"Yeah, well, that was Dead End."

Barricade snarled at Blackout's point.

"How 'bout as a favor, huh? To me?"

Barricade screeched to a halt. "Are you completely slaggin' cortex-rotted? Me? A FAVOR? For ANYONE?"

Blackout stepped back. Okay, bad idea. "Okay, how 'bout how pissed Ironhide would be if we saved all their afts."

Barricade started stomping down the hall to the shuttle bay again, but Blackout could tell from the way his doorwings twitched that he was-secretly-considering it. And that it was delicious. Barricade stopped so abruptly that Blackout collided with his back. "Right," the smaller mech said. "Bridge."

The cold of space hit Starscream's injured thigh like a soothing salve. He welcomed the numbness. Staying carefully in the shadows cast by solarlight reflecting off the gaseous planet, he studied the forces arrayed against them. This was…overwhelming firepower even by Megatron's odds. Starscream's tanks burned as if someone had poured scalding oil into them. If this mission were so critical, why had it been given to such a pitifully underpowered and small team to begin with?

He spotted Soundwave-predictably easy to spot just a fewl lengths behind Megatron. Sycophant.

//Problem.// Thundercracker commed him. //Neptunium-if they blow the shuttle.//

Yes. Slag. That would be a problem. //Evacuation of our personnel?//

//I'd ordered them, but Hook's the only one here. You have problems with insubordination with those other two?//

Frequently, Starscream thought. //I shall settle this.// He clicked off the comm channel and opened the mission net. //Barricade. Do you need remedial instruction in evacuation procedures?//

//Copter.//

Starscream groaned. //What has he talked you into now?//

//Way we can stop this from going bad. And look pretty fraggin' good.//

//I always look good.// Starscream smirked: he could practically hear Barricade's optic roll. Which meant he was feeling better. //Your plan.//

//Talk the Autobots into surrender.// All right, perhaps he had been too hasty in determining Barricade's mental status.

//Indeed. That should be simple enough,// he said, wryly.

//Not inconceiveable that if they blow this shuttle THIS close to the gas bag here, could chain reaction through the solar system. Which would hurt their precious humans.//

//You do not, surely, think that they will fall for that?//

//The science is good.//

Starscream frowned. It had been so long since he had been a scientist himself, but Barricade was right. //What do you wish me to do?//

//STALL.//

Ironhide glared at Hook as he began gathering up tools and equipment. "Where do you think you're going?"

Hook eyed the large mech with disinterest. He picked up his tools and marched to the exit. "Disembarking, you can stay with a sinking ship, I have more sense."

"What about us?" Rumble bellowed across the med bay, still bound to Ravage. "You can't just leave us here!"

Hook quirked an orbital ridge at the small mech. "If Soundwave thought it prudent to leave you behind, who am I to argue?" With that he turned and left the med bay.

//We should see what's happening on the bridge.// Bumblebee canted his head at Ironhide who grunted in agreement.

"No telling what Barricade's planning."

"Hey! HEY! You can't leave us here!" Rumble yelled after them. He glared as the two Autobots merely shot him a glance before vacating the med bay.

"Slaggers!" Rumble cursed after them loudly. "Good job I come prepared." He flicked his subspace open with a mental command and tipped forward. A laser scalpel fell onto the floor. With a smug grin Rumble managed to cut through their bonds.

Ravage growled angrily, his sharp tail swishing as he flexed his limbs. Rumble met his optics and smirked. "Let's get em."

They raced from the med bay. Rumble rushed forward only to find a yellow fist impacting his helm, sending him onto his back. Ravage snarled and jumped onto Bumblebee's back, clawing at his back struts, his yowls echoing down the corridor. The feline mech froze when a large cannon whirred to life mere inches from his head.

"You've been a bad kitty." Ironhide growled. "Don't make me put you on a leash."

Ravage hissed at him and attacked anyway, dropping like a stone when Ironhide's pulse weapon struck his med-section. Ravages snarls rattled through his lithe frame he squirmed in pain as Ironhide stood over them.

"Now that was on its lowest setting. I trust we have an understanding."

Rumble fell back onto the floor with a defeated grroan. "Great NOW the Autobot big gun wants to learn diplomacy."

"Megatron," Starscream said, smoothly. He hoped. "My lord. You look…well."

"You," Megatron said, "do not."

"It has been an exceedingly trying mission."

"Trying and failing, it appears. Your orders were to destroy the Autobot ship."

"Yes, but…that is so wasteful. Destruction, that is."

"Is it?" Megatron quirked a supraorbital ridge plate. "Those were my orders."

"Were they?" Starscream countered. "Then perhaps there was some miscommunication-that does not seem to be what Soundwave intended. It is his fault," he lied, blatantly, "that the ship was not destroyed." Beside Megatron, Soundwave spluttered in outrage. The problem, Starscream thought, of being so cool and logical was that one could not readily adapt to illogic. "We have captured the ship," Starscream finished, tinging his voice with a note of triumph. They had done no such thing. But then again, it could happen. Thundercracker and Blackout were more than a match for most of the Autobots. He hoped it did not come to that, simply because…well, they might, after all, lose.

Megatron rolled his optics. "Blow the ship," he said, coldly. Beside him, Mindwipe and Dirge prepared to advance.

"No!" Starscream protested. "The ship is laden with Neptunium!"

Megatron sneered at him. "Lies, again, Starscream. This time a pitiful one. It was the other ship that was the ore transport. This is an Autobot personnel transport. Do you think me so stupid?"

"It is the truth!" The note of urgency was unfeigned. He turned to Soundwave. "The cassettes. Do you wish them to be terminated? The explosion-"

"I," Soundwave said, coldly, "saw no Neptunium on the ship." He looked worried, but right now, his ire at Starscream's lie decided him.

Starscream stuttered curses in a blind panic. Did they not know that the ship, and not just the ship, would be obliterated?

He only hoped that Barricade and the others were having better luck.

"You don't have to believe me, of course," Barricade said. "Why not take your chances and risk blowing up half of the organic solar system? What do I care?"

Prowl frowned, unable to parse the truth of his words.

"Listen: If I had made up a lie to force this, I'd've come up with one that a Decepticon would believe. None of us would give a dented aft plate for a human. Much less bargain for one."

"You hate the humans."

"Precisely. Which is why I SOOO wouldn't imagine bargaining with them."

"Possibly. Or possibly you might have just found a way to make them useful to you."

"Useful?" Barricade staggered back against Blackout. He still wasn't feeling very hot. "Yeah, I find something standing between me and certain vaporizing death to be pretty slaggin' useful." He turned on his heel, stumbling into the copter's midsection. "Come on, Blackout," he muttered into the copter's chest. "Let's go. Hook's all packed up and if we move fast we can blast the shuttle out of here and get away."

"You know we couldn't get far enough in time," Blackout said. "Seekers might, but not us."

"Right, I know." Barricade's shoulders sagged. He hoped the drooping doorwings were having an effect on his audience. Just because this was dead on truth didn't make it NOT a bluff. "Lose even more of our chance, though, sitting around here with our fingers in our crankcases trying to get these Autobots to see the proverbial light." He shook his head. "Never thought I'd see the day an Autobot wouldn't jump at the chance to do something heroic for a sub-evolved species." He tsked.

Sideswipe snarled from where Ratchet was working on his injured wrist. "I'll show you jumping."

"That…uh, doesn't even make any sense," Blackout said. He patted Barricade awkwardly, waiting for his next cue. Barricade looked over his shoulder, leaning harder than he wanted to against the copter. Even so, the room seemed to spin. Last time, he told himself, you hack a cassette. Like a psychedelic fruitbowl in there.

"You'll notice," Thundercracker said, glaring at Sideswipe, "That Starscream is out there right now trying to buy us time."

"More like betraying us," Sideswipe muttered. He winced as Ratchet not-so-accidentally scraped a wrench into his cables.

"That would mean," Thundercracker said, coldly, "betraying me. Likely? I don't think so." He folded his blue arms over his chassis. "The bottom line, and I do so hate," he rolled his optics at the irony, "to be so pushy about this: you have three choices. Choice A: we all get blown to bits, taking half of System Sol with us. Choice B: You resist, we capture the ship anyway and hand it over to Megatron intact, with all of you injured, dead or prisoner (myself, I have the middle preference), or Choice C: You 'surrender' now while you can still dictate terms."

"So," Blackout said, trying to take a bit of Thundercracker's edge off. "It's up to you, Optimus Prime."


	45. Chapter 45

A/N Sorry for delay. OMG you would not believe the hintarwebz difficulties I've had today *kills wifi*

The Autobots on the bridge of the Ark fell silent as all optics rested on Optimus, who now looked distinctly uncomfortable. There was no preferable choice: whichever one he chose, they lost. He cast his optics around the bridge, meeting the trusting expectant gazes of his mechs. Sideswipe was glowering, itching for a fight even with his still injured blade. He wasn't about to let the 'cons take their ship. Ratchet met his optics evenly, he placed his faith in Optimus's hands. He was a medic not a leader. Optimus turned to his second, the only one not looking to him, he was deep in thought, his optics dim and staring at the floor. Typical Prowl.

Movement at the door caught Optimus's attention. Ironhide flung the bound form of Ravage to the floor. Bumblebee, who dragged Rumble behind him, dumping the mech beside his fellow cassetticon, followed him closely. Both 'bots looked like they'd been in some kind of altercation—Bee's bright armor bore dark scratches, and Ironhide's chassis had a few more dents. Optimus frowned at Ironhide who limped over and shrugged.

"They thought it was a good idea to try and escape." The black mech narrowed his optics at the audience in front of him and his cannons whirred to life. "We straightened out that little misconception." He jutted his chin towards Optimus. "What's going on?"

"Knew you couldn't stay away." Barricade jumped in before Optimus could respond. "Still haven't accepted your complete irrelevance, even to your own side, have you?"

Ironhide bridled. "Did plenty."

"Really, gimpster? Didn't see you out there repairing squat." The fact that Barricade hadn't helped much beyond holding some components still…didn't matter, Barricade decided. Yeah, he was fully competent to make that call. Autobot = useless. Barricade = not useless. Somehow.

"We were just getting to the good bit, too." Thundercracker sneered, his impatience growing by the klik. Primus Autobots took so long to make just one simple decision, it was a wonder they ever evolved.

"We're running out of time... Prime." Barricade spat out the title as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. "Or should we just get Tall, Dark and Broody over there to make the decision for you? He can at least do that much."

Optimus narrowed his optics at Barricade who focused all four of his optics on the Prime in open challenge.

Sideswipe snorted at the insult and then frowned in confusion. He leant back toward Ratchet. "Dark and broody?" He whispered.

Ratchet huffed. "Prowl."

"Ooohh." Sideswipe nodded and actually thought it quite fitting; he would have to note that one for future reference. Especially when he noticed Prowl's less-than-amused reaction.

Prowl stepped forward and looked to his leader. "I believe I have a fourth option."

"Oh this should be good." Thundercracker muttered dryly. "Let's hear it, genius."

"Thus far," Blackout said. "Haven't seen many good options come out of this batch."

Prowl refused to react to his goads, his optics focused on his leader. "It will require a great deal of improvisation and cooperation."

Optimus couldn't see how it could possibly get any worse. "Care to enlighten us, Prowl?"

"We fight back and we surrender."

"Err... aren't they counterproductive?" Blackout's facial crest lowered. Sure, allegedly this Prowl mech was supposed to be way smarter than he was, but this sounded like a pretty stupid plan. And one thing Blackout knew was pretty stupid plans.

Barricade shot Blackout a quizzical look. "Word calendar?"

Blackout smirked and shifted his stance, rotors sliding along the wall.

Prowl regarded the room with calculating optics. "We put on a show of defiance. We make it appear to Megatron that we are fighting each other for the ship. This will allow someone to get the humans and the Neptunium to safety, using the shuttle. While the rest stay behind and put on a show of fighting back as a diversionary tactic in order to wipe Teletraan's memory core and escape the ship in the ensuing skirmish, under the guise of being outnumbered and outgunned."

"You mean surrender the Ark to the 'cons?" Sideswipe scoffed loudly. "No slaggin' way! Are you out of your processor, Prowl? What am I saying? Of course you are. Ratchet, I thought you fixed his glitch." Ratchet held his hands up, as if admitting that whatever Prowl's malfunction was, it was beyond his ability to fix.

Prowl narrowed one optic at the insolent tone. "This is no glitch, Sideswipe: I am deadly serious."

"When are you not?" The silver mech muttered.

"He's pretty unserious when he's passed out," Barricade muttered. "Should have drawn all over him while I had the chance."

Thundercracker gave a non-committal grunt, glaring at Barricade. "How do you propose to pull this off exactly?"

"I have calculated we only have a 7.2% chance of remaining online if we choose either of the options you have provided us with. However my plan has a 46% probability of success, rising to 52% if you agree to cooperate with us."

"Cooperate? Help you? Why would we want to do that?" Thundercracker looked as if Prowl had suggested something obscene. Like interfacing.

"You will gain a cargo hold of Neptunium and the Ark to present to Megatron, which would no doubt curry favour, am I not mistaken?"

Thundercracker ventured forward, approaching the smaller mech. "We have you all right where we want you. Why should we help you, when we can just hand you over to Megatron with your precious ship?"

Prowl held his ground as Thundercracker towered over him. "The Ark has a self destruct mechanism which can be activated with a single command."

Prime's optics widened. "Prowl?"

His SIC's voice remained quiet, steady with a hint of something else that stopped Thundercracker from interrupting. "If you don't help us the only logical choice that remains is to blow the ship."

"Wha?" Blackout shot a worried look to Barricade. "...the space dust, fission?... you'll take out half the solar system." He hadn't gone through all of this just to be blown to neutrinos by the glitchiest Autobot ever. The one he had saved from Soundwave? Oh, ungrateful!

"You are crazy!" Sideswipe bellowed.

Thundercracker sneered. "You're bluffing. Blackout is right." He paused, looking a little stunned. Megatron's Hound the copter may be—known for loyalty more than smarts. "You're not going to risk destroying your precious Earth."

Prowl canted his head to one side. "The gravity from Jupiter is of such a mass that I calculate an eighty two percent probability it will actually absorb a lot of the blast and due its nature as a gas giant, it would not be destroyed in the explosion. The rockier outer planets and moons would be destroyed and although there would be repercussions, Earth would remain intact. Both humans and Autobots on the planet's surface would be relatively unharmed."

Thundercracker stared at the tactician dumbfounded. "You can't know that." He hissed. Barricade shook his head. Mass of a gas giant? Prowl clearly hadn't studied astronomy. There was a reason ships had a SCIENCE OFFICER. He felt his hands curl into fists. Blackout made a patting gesture with his hand—calm down.

"I know it well enough to blow the ship if we are left with no other choice. It is the only other logical recourse. We would be destroyed of course but life in this solar system would ultimately be preserved." He paused, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. "It would also put an end to our war once and for all as 99% of the Decepticon forces would be wiped out."

"As would yours." The seeker snapped.

Prowl smiled knowingly. "That is where you're wrong. Sixty five percent of Autobot forces currently reside on earth, the remaining twenty percent are scattered throughout the galaxy. Only we here now would perish."

Nobody spoke as Prowl and Thundercracker continued to glare at each other. Optimus knew Prowl was right, if it came to it they would have to blow the ship. He had every faith in his second's calculations, he rarely steered him wrong.

Prowl lowered his gaze and clasped his hands behind his back as the jet visibly seethed in front of him. Peering up at him from beneath his chevron, Prowl spoke softly and with absolute determination. Making it absolutely clear to Thundercracker that he was prepared to carry out the worst-case scenario if that was their only option. "Thundercracker, I do not bluff. It is in your best interests to cooperate with us."

Barricade scowled, subtly leaning back into Blackout's frame for support. "His odds are wrong, but that's not going to stop him." Blackout seethed.

"I rescued you!" the copter blurted. "And for this? Are you serious?"

"My trinemate could have let you die in the tunnels," Thundercracker hissed. "We could have let you die a thousand times. Left you buried under the rock. Not repaired your ship. With our parts."

"What do you expect?" Barricade snapped. "They're Autobots. They're the bad guys."

"He's kind of right," Hook said, wiping off his hands. "Oh, by the way, next time, Autobots, you decide to 'disable' me, at least do a competent job at it? I despise incompetence." He looked around. "Oh, this looks incompetent."

Optimus pursed his lip components. "Prowl, you're talking about giving up the Ark."

The black and white regarded Optimus curiously. "I am talking about saving lives. That of the humans as well as our own, while also still managing to salvage some of the Neptunium. Isn't the preservation of life, our first and foremost priority by your ruling, Prime?"

Optimus opened and closed his mouth. He had no counter argument to that. Prowl was right, they had no choice but to surrender the Ark and have a little faith. He turned to the 'cons who were fidgeting nervously as time slowly ran out. "Will you help us?"

Barricade pushed forward—Blackout's hand automatically came down to steady him. He twitched it off. He was impressed that Thundercracker had managed to resist the urge to tear off the tactician's helm, who, if he wasn't mistaken was looking rather smug right about now. "All right!" He spoke up, ignoring Thundercracker's glare. He stared at Optimus. "We'll use your plan, but you do everything I tell you, or we'll all get slagged. Megatron is not as easy to fool as you would like to think." He was glad he didn't have a chance to do some calculations of his own—mainly, how unlikely this particular plan was to succeed, either.

It did not escape his notice, however, that Prowl hadn't bothered to gift them with those odds.


	46. Chapter 46

Sideswipe reluctantly listened to Barricade's instructions. They all had a part to play and if Megatron suspected for just an astrosecond that their plan was a fabrication, they would all be slagged. For a moment, Sideswipe thought about the odds: Prowl had been completely willing to sacrifice all of their sparks, commit mass murder by blowing up the ship, just as Megatron was willing to blow the ship to the pits out of ignorance. It didn't really matter who was successful, Sideswipe didn't think for a minute that Barricade's plan would actually work. And he was uncomfortable by how easily Prowl compared to Megatron in ruthlessness.

"Don't make me repeat myself, Autobot." The 'con snapped. He was agitated, unsteady on his feet but his four optics glared at him with a fierce determination that commanded respect and obedience.

Sideswipe shifted on his wheels and huffed. "Yeah I got it, diversion when you give the signal not before, I heard the first time."

"Not about hearing the first time, wheelheels, it's about remembering it." Barricade was trying not to imagine what chaos the average Autobot mission brief was like—if this was any example, maybe he wasn't so bad off being a Decepticon. Sure, staff meetings were boring, but at least they had a low Idiot Quotient.

"Watch your tone, Autobot." Thundercracker snapped back. "It's in your best interests to listen unless you want to end up scrap metal." He still looked a little…weirded out he was defending Barricade, the Rolling Annoyance. He slaggin' hated grounders.

"Is that a threat?" Sideswipe brandished his energon blades and glowered at the seeker.

"How dumb are you that you can't tell?"

"Sideswipe!" Prowl barked at the silver mech from across the bridge. "Stand down."

Retracting his swords, Sideswipe backed off but remained locked in a glare with the tall seeker, daring him to start something just to give him an excuse. Thundercracker rolled his optics. Grounders. Serious inferiority issues.

Prowl turned back to Prime and Ironhide with a frown.

"We really doin' this?" Ironhide spoke up. He could not possibly have looked more unhappy. That thought made Barricade, by contrast, very, very happy.

"We don't have a choice." Optimus answered softly. "Ironhide, you and Ratchet are going to leave the Ark when Barricade gives his signal. Bumblebee and Sideswipe are to be used as a diversion to draw attention from myself."

"Target bait," Barricade sang, smugly.

"What will you be doing?" Ironhide did his best to ignore Barricade. It took visible effort.

"Taking out the main computer. Then we will make our escape, when we get our diversion." Optimus met Prowl's concerned optics. "Prowl, you are to take the stasis chambers and payload of Neptunium in the shuttle and we will cover you using what limited power the Ark's weapons have left."

"Sir, I respectfully have to disagree with this plan."

"And I NOT so respectfully disagree with having to trust these slaggin' cons!"

"It is tempting," Barricade said. "But we have this whole honor thing. Well, the jets do, at any rate so…." He flashed a winning smile. "Guess you have to trust us again, Limp'n'leak." He was getting tired and making up new insults was beginning to be taxing.

Optimus stared at his second and waited for him to continue.

"Your safety is priority, Sir; you should escape in the shuttle with the humans. I can take out Teletraan."

Optimus shook his head. "Not this time, Prowl, I need you on that shuttle."

"This isn't logical Prime; you are also the most injured….

"Oh would you QUIT this slaggin' self-sacrifice thing? May the evil Decepticon remind you that the reason we're in this situation is none of you would just surrender nicely?"

The Autobots turned to face Barricade.

Prowl bit back a less tasteful retort. "But the occupant of the shuttle stands a 27 percent greater chance of survival."

Barricade snapped. "You and your slaggin' odds will be the death of all of us if you don't shut up. And just goes to show not to trust your numbers." Barricade pointed his talon accusingly. "Factor you forgot, sexychevron: Megatron will expect Prime to be the last to leave his ship, anything different and it will smell of a trap and he'll blow it out of the sky. So logically, Prime is the one to stay and you should leave." The sooner the slaggin' better, as far as Barricade was concerned.

"He's got ya there, Prowl." Ironhide smirked unable to resist a dig at the ever so logical tactician getting talked down by logic. And numbers. Then the smirk died when he realized it was Barricade doing the logic.

Prowl scowled at him and turned back to Optimus, his door wings held high and rigid on his back. "He hasn't got anything. He is merely using a counter logical argument. We are both right." Barricade threw his hands in the air ina gesture of pure frustration. Blackout pushed him back against the wall with one hand, shaking his head. "Prime, I urge you to reconsider this decision. In your current state I only calculate a thirty-four percent chance of survival should you actually have to fight and that is unacceptable. To ensure your safety, you must leave with the humans and…"

"Prowl." Optimus held up his hand to silence his SIC and pinched the ridge of his nose. "I understand your concerns, but I want you on that shuttle. It will be the largest target out there apart from us and when you take off, the Decepticons will stop at nothing to destroy you, especially if they suspect you to be carrying Neptunium."

"But Sir…"

Optimus frowned and glared down at his officer. "Prowl, you have the best tactical mind on this ship and probably out there too." A snort of indignation sounded from Thundercracker prompting Ironhide to flex his cannons.

"I need you on that ship to ensure the humans and the Neptunium get to safety. Who else can fly a shuttle and avoid the entire Decepticon army with any remote chance of surviving?"

Prowl clenched his jaw and remained silent.

"It has to be you Prowl."

The tactician dropped his gaze and sighed. "I have to go on record as being strongly opposed to this Sir." He met Optimus's optics evenly.

"So noted. You have your orders."

Prowl inclined his head in acknowledgement and spun on his heel. "Ratchet, if you'll accompany me to the med bay."

Optimus sighed tiredly as he watched the two mechs leave.

"SERIOUSLY! Finally!" Barricade was trembling with fury. "You are wasting valuable time we don't really slaggin' have. You do realize that while you're tapdancing around playing 'you first' grabass, we're depending on Starscream to stall Megatron from attacking." He rounded on Prowl. "How 'bout the odds on that?" He pushed off Blackout's restraining hand and stormed over to Optimus, tilting his head to look up at the larger mech defiantly. "You," he said, coldly, "are the worst military leader in the history of robotkind. A refresher: The leader gives an order. The followers follow. It's not that hard!"

Optimus frowned. He had not expected Prowl's argument to be seen as insubordination. The Decepticons simply didn't understand that Autobots did things a different way. And that different did not mean wrong. But he didn't have time or energy to spend explaining it to the hostile little mech.

"Blackout," he said, calmly, "Please convince Barricade that lecturing me about leadership is not his top priority at the moment."

"My top priority is getting stuff slaggin' done!"

Sideswipe pushed off the wall. "Sir, he's right. Prowl was way out of line. We don't have time for this right now. And while I respect that you respect his feelings, maybe, sometimes, feelings can wait?"

"Feelings?" Hook muttered. "What the slag are they?" He'd been watching the whole thing go down as if it were a fascinating but particularly gruesome necropsy.

"Stupid Autobot drivel," Barricade said, backing down.

"Copter's got a workable compromise," Blackout said, "How 'bout we all hate each other later?"

"Hook," Barricade said, "You go prep the shuttle. Make sure it's, uh, ready to go."

If Ratchet had been there, he wouldn't have liked the smile on Hook's face.

Ratchet disconnected the stasis chambers quickly and in silence, Prowl stood to one side and attached the portable generator with Ratchet's instruction. They had to move quickly if Barricade's plan was to work. Carrying the chambers the two mechs headed to the shuttle. Hook stepped off the small craft with a vague frown.

"We shall take command of this shuttle." Prowl stated.

Hook glared at the tactician with dangerous optics. "More of your incompetence."

Ratchet brushed past the 'con with the stasis chambers mumbling a myriad of curses and something about the head not talking to the aft.

"That isn't my problem, please vacate the shuttle we don't have a lot of time." Prowl regarded the mech with firm authority. Hook stepped aside, looking irritated and flustered, scrambling to grab up an armload of tools. "This is the most mobile of the vessels."

"So you can run."

Prowl seethed.

Ratchet exited the shuttle and gave Prowl a nod. "They're hooked up. Bee should be bringing the Neptunium."

"It is foolish of you to hand over a Decepticon vessel—our best chance of survival—to these Autobots." Hook was muttering over his comm. He did not seem concerned that the Autobots could overhear him.

Both mechs turned to regard the irate 'con who was speaking heatedly into his comm.

"Yes, I'd heard, but I thought you meant another of their idiot pods." Another pause. Hook's fists bunched. "This won't work, Megatron is not that easily fooled." Hook's optics glanced at Prowl and Ratchet and he scowled in disapproval. "I see. Yes. Orders." He turned and left the cargo bay, crossing Bumblebee as he arrived with the Neptunium in a grav sled.

Ratchet shot Prowl a worried glance. "Do you think this will work?"

"There is a forty two percent chance of success." Prowl answered ducking his helm to enter the shuttle, its interior crammed with bins of ore and the two pods.

Ratchet grabbed his arm as he passed. "Prowl I'm not talking about statistics. You'll be facing the entire 'con army out there, do you think it'll work?"

Prowl dropped his gaze and gave a sidelong look to the medic. "We'll soon find out."

Ratchet abruptly let go of the tactician, the unfamiliar tone of uncertainty in his voice was unnerving. Bumblebee stepped off the shuttle and stood beside the medic. The black and white gave them a curt nod of his helm as he began closing the hatch. "Prowl..." He paused momentarily regarding Ratchet curiously. "I'd wish you luck but I don't think you need it. We'll be seeing you soon."

Prowl's mouth curved upwards in a faint smile at the attempted reassurance. He closed the hatch firmly and sat behind his small console. /Prime, I'm ready to launch./

/Understood, standby./

Prowl watched as the cargo bay doors opened slowly, revealing the vast planet fronted by a line of heavily armed Decepticons. Taking a deep intake Prowl activated the engines and waited for the signal. He felt the Ark thrumming to life as its small arsenal of weaponry was activated. His optics narrowed at the laser fire streaking across the expanse between them and the Decepticon army. He watched as they scattered and formed attack groups advancing rapidly toward the ship. A bronze wedge shape began zigging wildly in front of them, cutting their attack vectors and targeting solutions.

/Now Prowl, go./

Prowl punched the accelerator and the small shuttle shot out of the cargo bay. His battle computer fed him tactical data by the second allowing him to pilot the transport swiftly and expertly through the chaotic fire fight exploding around him. He snarled as a slight miscalculation caused a pulse cannon discharged across the hull, sending the shuttle careening into a group of 'cons who immdiately opened fire. Cursing softly Prowl reacted quickly and the shuttle made a sharp dive out of line of fire. He could see an escape route and programmed a sequence of maneuvers into the console. Before he could activate the program a blinding flash and explosion rocked the shuttle. Prowl gripped the console tightly as alarms whined from the computer. He tried frantically to counteract the shuttle's terrifying spin. The thrusters were overtaxed and were not responding. Letting out a snarl of frustration he glanced up at the front monitor and let out a short gasp as the peachy giant mass of Jupiter loomed towards the shuttle.


	47. Chapter 47

Starscream flinched as Megatron howled across his comm, echoed by the dozens of space-fliers trying desperately to launch a pursuit of the shuttle.

"Prime is in there!" Megatron roared. "Get out of the way and let someone competent take him down."

"Really," Starscream purred, "Do you really want your nemesis to be taken down…by one of us? I'd have thought this was something you'd want to handle more…intimately." Such as, he thought, worriedly, without blowing up half the star system.

"I do not think it likely," Soundwave said, "For Prime to abandon his own in the ship."

"They must all be on there. And our mechs, defeated."

This, Starscream thought, was probably not how it was supposed to happen. He had no idea who was on the shuttle, just that it was supposed to get away. Barricade would have told him otherwise. "Unlikely. They must have caused a distraction to let one or two of them escape. No matter, though." He adjusted his flight angle to sweep across Mindwipe's targeting line. "I am in pursuit."

"You can't even pursue a fallen organic leaf right now! Your astrogation can't even keep you on a level flightpath. Starscream, stand down." An order. Curt. Brutal. Starscream drew himself up instantly. He hoped he'd bought the shuttle enough time.

"Shuttle has been launched. Ironhide, open fire." The Ark thrummed and shook as the limited weapons unloaded on the 'con army. Prime tapped Ironhide's shoulder as he finished uploading the automatic firing sequence into the computer. "Ironhide, join Ratchet in the cargo bay."

/Sideswipe: are you and Bumblebee in position?/

/We're ready./

Optimus turned to Barricade. "We're ready, it's up to you."

Barricade gave a nod to Blackout and Thundercracker who raced to the cargo bay to prepare for their parts.

/Barricade,/ Starscream's voice was urgent. /I politely request that you tell me the plan, now, please?/

/Shuttle's got Prowl and the humans. They're making the break. Make it look good./

/I cannot. I have been called to cease pursuit. We must come up with another way to prevent an assault./

Barricade smirked. /If Hook did his slaggin' job, we'll be all set. See if you can get put on lowly 'salvage' after it blows./

/I suspect that will be almost a natural choice./Starscream sounded sad.

Hook fastened the thruster packs to Ratchet and Ironhide, ignoring the grumbling from the black mech.

"Do Sideswipe and Bumblebee have thruster packs?"

"They do." Hook rolled his optics. Treating him like he was a cheat and a fraud. He was glad he had resisted his urge to upgrade their thrusters. They didn't deserve his effort. AND they'd stolen his shuttle. He hated that he had to do that to the shuttle. She deserved better. And he'd hoped they'd bought his…abysmal acting. If they thought he wasn't willing giving her up (he really wasn't) they wouldn't suspect…a thing. He buried his smile in his arm as he adjusted a fuel line on Ironhide's pack.

"And Prime?"

"He does." Hard not to get impatient. Slagging Autobots apparently expected everyone to be as incompetent as they were.

Thundercracker entered the cargo bay. "Prepare to run, little Autobots. And at least try to make it look good." He smirked, his chain guns already armed and pointing directly at them. "Sooooo tempting."

A loud explosion startled the mechs and they stared out of the cargo bay as the door opened. "That's your cue." Blackout added. "Off you go." He bent for Hook to begin attaching his own pro-pack. Frag he hated these things.

"Ready?"

Ratchet gave Ironhide a quick nod and readied his buzz saw and small pulse rifle. The two Autobots powered up their thrusters and leapt into the void. Weapons fire erupted around them and soon enough they found themselves being pursued by the copter and the jet. Ironhide spun round and opened fire just grazing Thundercracker's wing.

"You're supposed to miss!" Ratchet called out as he sliced through a smaller mech who dared to grapple him.

"Got to make it look good." Ironhide shot him a grin and accelerated away from the medic cutting down a couple of bold 'cons in his path.

"I'll return the favor, don't worry." Thundercracker snarled. He'd taken the first wave of fakeout flights because, presumably, he could make them look good. The medic wuss and the cripple. He had hated the idea…now he hated it even more

On the bridge, Optimus watched the scene unfold. An explosion rocked the ship and he glanced at Barricade. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"Starscream knows what to do." The small mech replied. "Bigger question is if your mechs will actually DO anything when they have to."

"They may surprise you," Optimus said, benignly.

"Fraggin' WOULD be a surprise," Barricade retorted.

A bright flash filled the viewer, drawing their optics. Optimus's intakes stalled as the light faded. "The shuttle." He murmured, his optics scanning the viewer for any sight of Prowl's shuttle. Barricade growled in frustration, that was not part of the plan. Had Hook fragged up? Wait. That sounded…statistically impossible.

"It's time."

"Yes, of course." Optimus tore his optics from the viewer and began inputting the command for Teletraan to wipe its memory core. He retrieved a datafile copy of the essential elements of the computer core and stored it in his subspace.

"Megatron has broke free of Starscream: he's preparing to fire!"

"Let's go."

The ship's console went dark as the memory core was wiped. Barricade twitched. "You fraggin' jerk."

"I have done what was necessary," Optimus said. "Our deal was that the memory core of the ship would be clean."

"You took ALL the systems down. ALL of them."

"Yes. As we had agree—"

Barricade's hands slammed on the sides of the console. "How are we supposed to keep up suppressive fire without, oh I don't know, ACCESS TO THE TARGETING COMP?" Barricade started pacing across the bridge, his processor racing. What to do? Half the plan rested on using the ship's suppressive fire to thin the crowd. And make them look less tempting as a boarding target. And make it look like there was an actual fight going on. And now, Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, had led them right into a dead end. Fan-fraggin' tastic.'

"Go," he burst out, suddenly. "Get the frag off the ship." This wouldn't work. There was no way this would work. But he had no choice. The thought of CCing Optimus crossed his mind, but…this soon? Hook had been pretty slaggin' clear that that was Off Limits until he could have a full cortex defrag. Dying to save others was such an Autobot thing.

And he was no Autobot. And if Optimus got hurt playing this out, it was no more, he thought, optics narrowing, than he deserved.

Ironhide was enjoying it a bit too much—his chance to snipe a Seeker. And Thundercracker had no real choice but to take it. In the name of making this look authentic. In his defense, Ratchet was lousy with jet packs and if there wasn't a lot of flash and bother, the 'cons would see right through this little show.

Their job, apparently was to draw enough fire for Bumblebee and Sideswipe to get to the signal array on the far side of the ship—in hopes of sending a distress burst through the damaged relays back to Earth, where others could help them. They couldn't make atmosphere with the fuel left in the jetpacks, and the humans…couldn't do it at all. They needed help. It was vital that message get through.

Ratchet grunted as Thundercracker barrelled into him sending them spinning away from the approaching group. "Time to stop playing and start running," Thundercracker snarled. "They're closing." Where was the suppressive fire? Slag it. This was going bad already. Should have known better than to trust Barricade.

"Huh," Ironhide said. "Could use a little practice leading shots in zero-gee." He turned to face the approaching mechs, who were swiftly resolving from specks in the reflected light off the gaseous planet into recognizable shapes.

"Oh, I don't think we have that much time to play with," Ratchet said as Skystalker zipped in over Thundercracker's shoulder.


	48. Chapter 48

Hook knew his job. Sabotage. Make the wiped memory core look authentic. One thing about Barricade—he was a nasty fragger, but he knew how to put a mech to his strengths. Hook turned to the two cassetticons. "You two. Going to play nice?"

Rumble frowned. Ravage snarled.

"Need your help destroying the Autobots' computer."

"Boss needs that." Rumble pouted. "Can pull all sortsa stuff off it."

"No. It's destroyed. We simply need to make the outside look like the inside."

Rumbles optics narrowed. "Why should I help you?"

"It's the price of negotiating our return to the Decepticons. You would not like to inform Soundwave, much less Megatron, of your complicity in this? The story is simple: there was a fight." Hook tilted his head, considering. "Yes, I suppose you both look sufficiently banged up." Ravage exchanged a round-opticked look at Rumble. Would Hook really….? Yes. "While we were distracted fighting them off, they destroyed the computer. We three were attempting to repair it when they defeated the others," he smiled sourly at Rumble's happiness, "and escaped. "

"So the big jerkmechs take the fall for the escape."

"Pretty much. Or, the other option is to tell them that you were held captive by a cripple and a mute." He snickered at Ravage's growl. "And how, exactly, did you get captured anyway?" Rumble howled in outrage.

"Lemme go, untie me, you slagger." Beside him, Ravage shook his bound muzzle. They both went rigid abruptly. Hook tilted his head, trying to sense a freq. That must be what it was.

"Fine," Rumble said, unhappy. "We'll help."

"Boss's orders?"

"Yeah. Says Megatron'll blow us all up if we don't handle this right." They both looked more than a little discomfited.

"Well, then." Hook quirked a supraorbital ridge. "I guess you're on board for a little destruction."

Barricade hit the signal rig Hook had set up for him for the first explosion. The feeble feed from the external monitor showed him an impressive white jet of explosion rippling out, almost in slow motion. The second explosion released the under-bay that Hook had stuffed with junk left over from the fabber. That should create one sufficiently blown-up looking shuttle. And give Prowl enough of a chance to zip through on his own.

And if it didn't, well, that was Prowl's problem. Barricade had lived up to his end of the deal.

We must secure the ship itself," Soundwave insisted as the explosion slowly faded from their optics.

Megatron frowned.

Mindwipe cut in. "The Autobots are valuable prisoners. Very useful for intelligence gathering. Prime himself."

"Was on the shuttle," Soundwave said, pointing.

"Never." Megatron's voice was derisive. "Prime? Leaving others in harm's way? His martyr complex would not allow that."

"That may be just what he wants you to think," Soundwave said. "A double feint."

Megatron hesitated. It was…possible.

"I shall investigate the wreckage," Starscream said. "The shuttle has drifted off the course of our main attack vector."

"You shall follow orders, Starscream," Megatron snapped.

"My Lord," Soundwave said, "Allow him to investigate. Where he can at least be of SOME use." The two exchanged hot glares.

"THERE!" Megatron's voice seemed to fill space itself. "Prime!" He roared and flipped into his jet mode, roaring after the jet-packed Autobot.

Prowl frowned as an explosion blanked the shuttle's sensors. Coming from the shuttle. Slag. He hadn't expected the two that had been rigged on his own, but once the sensors had come back on revealing a sudden scatter of metallic parts, he'd seen the point. . Junk—old pieces of battered brittle-burned hull from the Autobot ship. Hook had rigged some kind of diversionary explosion so that it would look like the shuttle blew up. Huh. These Decepticons did have their moments.

But the explosion near the ship. Was Optimus all right? Had Starscream failed to prevent an attack?

He took advantage of the rippling wash from the explosion to veer far off his original heading, to the view-shadow of another moon. He'd leave with the humans to keep them safe, but he could not abandon Optimus and the others. It was not logical.

He watched the battle, as it was, unfold on his sensor array. Megatron raced with violent speed toward where Optimus, unsuspecting, was dashing toward where Ironhide and Ratchet hung. Blackout had joined the fight, skimming over the plates of the ship before releasing a burst from his EMP array. Clever, Prowl had to admit. Blackout's 'hasty' shot killed the weapons systems on a good chunk of the approaching mechs.

But where were Bumblebee and Sideswipe? And where was Barricade?

Skystalker zipped along Thundercracker's shoulder, monitoring his shots, it seemed. Was he suspicious? Did he suspect something? Thundercracker aimed a shot for real, gritting his denta at the outraged howl as it caught the injured Ironhide in his functional—well—formerly functional—pulse cannon. Not bad, he told himself.

His celebration was short lived. Skystalker had been less observing him and more…herding him. He looked up, suddenly, into Soundwave's cold optics.

"Hello, Thundercracker," Soundwave's voice was cold as space through the audiochan. Silver tentacles slithered over Thundercracker's body, seeking out the rare but inevitable chinks in his armor plating.

"Soundwave," Thundercracker said, tightly. Stupid, stupid jet. Got distracted. Too busy trying to track everyone. Not even checking your own 6. Pathetic. "How can I help you?" Skystalker zipped back to the melee by the ship, his mission complete.

"It is good you're feeling so cooperative, isn't it, Seeker? Of course, you have no choice, do you…." Thundercracker felt the icy tentacles spread into their probing nanites, seeping into his cabling. "My cassettes."

"Unharmed. At least by us. Last I saw them they were a little roughed up by the Autobots—agh!"The tentacle hack sent a stab of pain through him.

"Which Autobots?"

"Ironhide. The yellow one."

"You are not lying to me." Not a question: Soundwave knew.

"Of course not."

"They are assisting Hook."

"We have a plan."

"If it was Starscream's plan, he has failed."

Thundercracker winced at another lance of pain. "It's Barricade's—aaaugh!"

"Barricade has much to pay for."

"Yes, well…now might not be the best time to collect."

"Indeed. The Neptunium." Soundwave's frustration carried through the hack. "Megatron does not listen to science. Or reason."

"Not exactly news," Thundercracker said. "Trine, remember?" He'd had more than his fair share of Crazy.

"I suppose this brilliant plan has accommodations for Megatron's…singlemindedness?"

"If it does," Thundercracker griped, "you may have to let Barricade off the hook." He sounded disappointed.

"And this plan?"

Thundercracker shrugged. "Didn't tell me. But I presume there's a reason he paired himself with Optimus that has nothing to do with 'azure optics'."

" I do not trust him."

"Yeah, fine. No argument here. Meantime, can you knock it off with the tentacles? Kind of creeping me out."

"Oh? Does this make you uncomfortable?" Soundwave trailed his talons down the seeker's thighs.

"Not right now, darling," Thundercracker snapped, pinching one of the tendrils between his talons. Soundwave yelped, retracting the tentacles reluctantly. "We've got a leader to fake out for his own good."

"For our own good," Soundwave corrected. "And for your own good, you had better pray that my cassettes have come to no harm."

Sideswipe muttered, looking longingly at the combat bursting around them like fireworks as he clambered in the shadow along the ship to the damaged communications array. Every Autobot ship had a blue box—a manual control at the base of the communications systems that would send a simple, short Repair and Rescue message on a wide freq range. The jet packs couldn't take them anywhere. They needed help. Why it took two of them tasked for this job, though….

"Bee," Sideswipe said, "You do this. I'm wasted here."

Bumblebee looked at him, optics concerned.

Sideswipe shook his head. "Have every confidence in you, Bumblebee. They," he winced as a patter of rifle fire rippled the air above them, a black jet flying in furious pursuit of the wildly veering Ratchet, "need me."


	49. Chapter 49

Optimus grunted as one of Barricade's shots winged his arm. Barricade was not much better than he was with a jetpack which made them an even match. It also made them veer wildly across the battlefield, cutting across lines of fire and fouling shots on both sides. Ironhide cursed, reduced to a pulse rifle, both cannons blown. Mechs who had fallen prey to Blackout's EMP burst flew in for hand to hand, and one had Ratchet in a tight grapple, the medic pounding at the face with both fists.

"Oh Prime," Megatron's voice boomed through the audiochan. "I suggest you do your oh-so-predictable Autobot thing and surrender yourself."

"Never," Optimus said, whirling, trying to locate Megatron in the mass of weapons fire and contrails.

"Oh, I think you will." Megatron moved into Optimus's line of sight, a silver mech squirming against him, one of his long claw-talons along Sideswipe's throat. The remains of a jetpack floated, shredded, in the space around them. "Him or you."

"No!" Sideswipe protested. "Don't do it!" He activated his blades, slicing against Megatron's armor. Megatron simply adjusted the grip of his arm across the mech half his size, pinning Sideswipe's arms down.

"Prime."

Optimus throttled down. "Yes. Fine. Release him." He didn't notice Barricade frantically shaking his head. All he could think of was Sideswipe's safety. And a brief flicker of worry that they might not have gotten the emergency signal off in time. And…whatever else they had to do as part of Barricade's plan.

Optimus lowered his weapon.

Barricade decided that dying in a giant Neptunium blast might not be so bad, if only he could manage to die after the rest of these idiots. Sideswipe: deviated from plan. Optimus: deviated from plan after blowing plan out of the water by killing all of the systems in the memory wipe. His own mechs…well Starscream hadn't held them off for very long. Blackout, he hated to admit, had been the most competent. Except, possibly, for Hook who had rigged the shuttle and was hopefully, hopefully making more than adequate sabotage on the ship's systems.

Which left…himself. Frag. Well, first plan was shot to the Pit. His own side luckily didn't target him and right now no one was noticing that he was just hanging in space like a slack jawed idiot. Time to think…really fast. If Sideswipe was here…who was where Sideswipe was supposed to be? The yellow idiot.

He dropped altitude under the mass that was ranging around the two leaders, as Megatron showily flung the pack-less Sideswipe spinning into space, beckoning Optimus to close for combat. And drifted, as nonchalantly as he could, back to the ship. If that diversion didn't go off…. Or if it was discovered…

"Hey there!"

Barricade twitched, throttling the propack suddenly on full, bolting him forward. He forced himself to throttle down. "Skystalker, hahahah. Nice one. Really got me that time." Fraggin' stealth bomber with a sense of humor. Awesome.

"Soooooo, where are you headed?"

"I am headed where I can do some good. As soon as I figure out where that is." As soon as I can figure out how to ditch you, he added, silently.

"I think we've got it covered. Soundwave's debriefing the Seeker over there."

Oh that was only like thirty flavors of un-good, sprinkled with the last mech Barricade wanted involved. Soundwave was a little too smart for his own good and Barricade's comfort. Soundwave had…a few grudges against Barricade. And the cassettes could blow everything. Figuratively AND literally. "That's awesome," he said, blandly. "Have you seen Starscream?"

"Starscream got sent to pick up pieces of the shuttle. He really thought Optimus Prime would bail on his own mechs. Pretty funny, huh?"

Hilarious. Barricade felt a twinge of regret for forcing that absurdity on Starscream. "Yeah. Hey, I'm going to go check that out, too."

Skystalker shrugged. "Boring, but…your choice." Skystalker's optic narrowed slyly. "You just wanna be the first to get some digs in."

"Yeah, that's right." More like, first to start apologizing./Blackout,/ Barricade hit comm urgently. /I can't believe I'm fraggin' saying this, but maybe you should check on your pet Autobot./

/Barnaby?/Blackout said. /Status./ He was currently engaged in trying to harry the oncoming mechs.

/Signal sent. Sideswipe went off…I don't know where and I'm trying to rig the explosion. Almost ready./

/Why'd Sidewhatever jet off like that? You grease him off or something?/

/No. I guess he thought he could do better doing something else./

Not great warriors, Blackout thought. And he'd thought Sideswipe, out of all of them, would be the one to get the whole point. /So, what's your part of this?/

/Sent the message Just have to wait for the signal to blow the diversion. I got it under control./

/You sure about that?/

/Yeah, thanks for as-/ The line went dead. An instant later, the space near the shuttle flared white.

Barricade was halfway to the shuttle wreckage when the diversion blew. Frag! FRAG! Could these Autobots get NOTHING right? He'd been keeping an optic on Megatron and Optimus tussling—hand to hand in space was always a tricky and awkward affair, with nothing to leverage against, so punches that would have been devastating on the ground merely pushed an opponent floatily away. It was like a really clumsy ballet between the two large mechs, only without music and without any pretentions to high culture. There was no need for the diversion. Yeah, maybe he did enjoy Optimus getting a face full of Megatron's fist more than an Autobot would, but he wasn't going to let anything too bad happen.

But when the diversion went off, he thought he would just go insane with frustration. They, he thought angrily, are on their own. No more Special Barricade Help.

/I suspect that was not the appropriate time./ Starscream's voice cut through his comm.

/I am not speaking…to anyone right now./

/You truly did not expect these Autobots to behave, after all of the insubordination we have witnessed? They do not obey their own Prime./

/You know,/Barricade snapped. /'I told you so' is ugly in any language./

/I am not here for recriminations. I am currently simply making sure no one else investigates the shuttle's explosion. And to figure out how we can salvage this disaster./

/There's no way. They'll discover it was a set up and we were going to let the Autobots go and…well, I guess our choice is hard labor or execution./

/Have some faith, Barricade. Soundwave is on our side./

/Soundwave is on Soundwave's side./

/Certainly. But this time his side has a vested interest in protecting his cassettes as well as that he was going off mission parameters on the Autobot ship. Megatron does not approve of power grabs. He will assist./

Convincing, actually. Not that it made Barricade feel any slaggin' better. /He's…uh, not my number one fan./

/I was unaware you had any fans, Barricade./ The smirk travelled over the line. /But have some faith: need overrides dislike in this instance./

/Comforting thought./

Prowl had had enough. The Decepticons, clearly, had gone against their own alleged plan. Megatron was pounding on Optimus. Ratchet was in the hands of Dirge, Ironhide managing—just barely—to zigzag and elude the jets that were pursuing him.

And the diversion blew, without a signal.

It was entirely logical that the Decepticons would double cross them. Get the ship AND all of them as prisoners. All of them except Prowl and the humans. The humans….didn't matter as much right now as the Autobot leader. Prowl shook his head. Solid logic: Optimus's value was higher than Prowl's own. Higher than the humans, as well.

He wheeled the shuttle around, stabbing at the weapons systems to online. He hated the idea of riding into the rescue, but it was the only logical choice.

He activated the targeting comp, then bolted upright as the control panel sent a blast of electricity through his systems. He slumped forward, unconscious.


	50. Chapter 50

Hook grinned inside the Autobot ship as the shuttle signaled that the Autobot had tried to activate the weapons controls. Deserved what he got for going off mission. No way Hook was going to let an Autobot fire on a Decepticon He was up for a little deception against his own side, but bodily injury was beyond the pale. Especially since he'd end up doing the repairs for that bodily injury. Inefficient.

Rumble looked up from where he and Ravage had torn the better part of the main computer to confetti. Ravage was death-shakying a fragment of the motherboard. "Hey, Hooky-wooky. Boss is coming."

Fantastic. "Good," he said, blandly. "One more reason for them not to blow the ship and all of us into the Well."

"Yeah, like you're going to the Well," Rumble muttered.

Hook snorted. "I suspect the Well will be packed with these irritating Autobots. As such, and with my recent experience with them, I will GLADLY go wherever they are not."

"Heard you there," Rumble said.

[***]

/BOFFLE!/ Blackout raced to the explosion. Oh, slag. Maybe the Autobots didn't know how to use demolitions as good as Barricade. He rounded the edge of the ship to see Bumblebee dangling in space, one leg and part of one arm missing, his yellow armor streaked with black. The only advantage was that the cold of space had cold-cauterized the wounds, so that beyond a few sparkling gems of flash-frozen energon and coolant fluid, the hoses had sealed.

Before Blackout could grab him, his optics flickered to the black shape looming over the bomb site. "Mindwipe," he said. "Uhhh, good to see you." Mindwipe didn't look so good himself, his optic smeared with frozen energon, shrapnel pocking his armor.

"Is it?" Well, no. Mindwipe was creepy as frag. There were all sorts of rumors of stuff he did with Skystalker that were just…weird. "This Autobot was attempting to blow up the ship."

"Yeah, uhhhhh, nice save."

"Megatron will be pleased."

"Sure he will." Blackout's optics flicked back to Bumblebee's limp form. "Hey, uhhh, you get anything off of that mech?"

"No. I was just attempting to hack when he detonated his bomb. Doubtless out of fear."

Blackout didn't want to say what he thought of that. Bumblebee didn't seem to be much in the 'fraidy cat' line. Especially looking at what the bomb did to his own self.

"Yeah," Blackout said. "You need help? Hook's in the ship and can patch you up."

"And you?"

"Me? I'm going to retrieve the Autobot—see what he's got on him."

"Corpse-picking. Interesting hobby, Blackout."

"Yeah, you'd know all about interesting hobbies," Blackout shot back. Ooops, probably shouldn't have said that one out loud. Still, Mindwipe turned and hit his small attitudinal adjusters, heading for the ship's docking port. Blackout launched himself after Bumblebee.

[****]

Rumble bounced in excitement as Soundwave entered the hangar. "Boss!" he said, "you're safe!"

"My safety is not of paramount importance." He looked over Rumble's small frame at Hook. "The story so far, please?"

"The Autobots wiped the mainframe. We're making it look a bit more…like it was a fight."

"They negotiated their freedom." Soundwave sounded surprised. "And you let them?"

"I was simply observing the concerto of incompetence that is the Autobot decision-making process. My input was neither solicited nor necessary. However, one of them threatened to blow up the ship and the Neptunium."

"Prowl."

"Yes. He appeared entirely sincere."

"Oh I have no doubt he would have done it." There was something like respect in Soundwave's tone. "So you did have no choice."

"Looks like."

"I don't like it, boss," Rumble snarled. "Those Autobots getting away with how they treated us."

"Yes," Soundwave said, "there is that. But right now…," he smirked. "It is more useful to us to have Starscream and the others beholden to us to keep their little secret. As well as," his panels shifted uncomfortably, "our own."

"Have a plan," Hook said. "Rig what's left of their comm as a mass EMP."

"That would be…painful."

"We'd be safe," Hook shrugged. "Besides, it would buy us time: if everyone out there is knocked out—and you know EMP fuzzes short term memory cache—we could actually come up with a plan that doesn't suck."

Soundwave's smile grew a competitive edge. "Indeed."

[***]

Starscream swooped to pick up Barricade on his way back from the 'shuttle wreckage,' the jet's agility far better and faster than Barricade plus propulsion pack. "We shall have to try to salvage this," Starscream said, gently. Now was not the time to push Barricade to think too hard. "At any rate, a cover story for our involvement."

"It's not over," Barricade muttered. "There has to be a way."

"I suspect this might be helpful, then?" Starscream held up a small chunk of the ore. "This was included in the false wreckage. I presume unintentionally—Autobot sloppiness."

"That might work. Drop me by the ship before you go to play helpful Second."

"Certainly. And Thundercracker has commed—he has a plan for another diversion."

"Slag. We've had so many diversions I don't even know what we're diverting FROM any more." Barricade rubbed his helm. "Can he at least wait for a fraggin' signal?"

"Thundercracker has his issues, but he is a Decepticon."

Barricade never thought he'd find those words so comforting. "You know what? As you drop me off, tell him to hit it. No point dragging this out any longer."

[***]

Thundercracker raced along the side of the ship, manually releasing the CR rescue pods. Silly Autobot devices: no propulsion or thrust, their power cores simply working to keep a mech stabilized in regen until he was picked up. Still, a burst of pods from the ship would add some delightful chaos to the mix. He grinned, watching them shoot wildly into the assembled forces, one striking Dirge in the back kibble hard enough for him to lose his grip on the Autobot medic. One good thing about being a 'con: you knew exactly what drove your own side crazy. The pods rocketed through the crowds, who drew back, warily, waiting for weaponization or explosions. Things that didn't explode or attack were…suspicious.

He got a blip on mission commnet. Hook. Simple message: get behind comm array's broadcast angle. He knew Hook better than to ask questions. And waste valuable time that should be spent moving his frame.

/Here good?/

/If you want to be functional. By the way. Under the blue box—you're gonna have to just rip that off or something, there's a panel. Red wire needs to go./

/Am I going to blow myself up doing this?/

/Not unless you're exceptionally talented. But I'd tell anyone I liked to get back behind that array line./

Right.

[***]

The electromagnetic wave Hook and Soundwave managed to create using feedback from the ship's internal speakers tore through space like a tsunami of overexcited electrons. Targeting systems jammed. Propulsion systems, fatal error. Nothing, in short, worked. Every mech in the cone of fire dropped suddenly unconscious.

Hook looked to Soundwave. "Online still?" He was squatting by the open panel in the hangar bay, a small work-console magnetized to his leg.

Soundwave accessed his sensor array. "Of our enemies, only Sideswipe is functional. Our former companion Decepticons: Thundercracker, Starscream, Barricade. Blackout is out of my sensor range but functional. And Megatron."

"And Mindwipe," the black jet said as he touched down lightly in the hangar.

"And Mindwipe," Soundwave said, unhappily. This complicated matters. "I shall call Megatron."

"Do you want me to do that?" Mindwipe said. "It looks like you're a little…busy. Taking out our mechs."

"We were stopping a dangerous event from happening," Hook said, smoothly. "A stray shot on this ship—loaded with Neptunium—would have blown all of us to the Pit."

Mindwipe stared at him for a long moment, as if contemplating using his ability on Hook. But…Hook wouldn't lie. And Soundwave certainly wouldn't collude with something to help the Autobots. "I…uh…I see."

"And I see you're injured." Hook stood up, reaching for his tools. "I know I'm no repair bot, but I can do a little something."

"Yes, that is why Starscream would not let you near his optic." Soundwave smirked.

"Starscream is afraid of change," Hook retorted. "All of you are so afraid of mechs who can talk back."

"More like mechs who have no hesitation about their unpleasantness spreading over into their work."

Hook sneered, but he got the point. The more off-chatter they got, the less likely Mindwipe would actually think through anything they'd just said. Or were doing. "Anyway, let me stabilize at least." He held out his hand, expectantly. Mindwipe limped over after a moment's hesitation. "You haven't done anything to piss me off," he said, shooting a pointed look back at Soundwave.

Soundwave nodded.

/Megatron,/ Soundwave said. /We have secured the Autobot ship./

/Unimportant,/ Megatron retorted. /Prime. He's out here. At last I can finish him./

/There is no time for that,/ Soundwave bluffed. /The Autobots have called for reinforcements./

/I do not fear their reinforcements, Soundwave. You're beginning to sound like Starscream, with all of his talk of caution and tactical positioning. Fancy words for cowardice./

Soundwave wasn't quite ready to stoop to defending Starscream. Not yet. /The mission parameters defined success as…./

/The mission parameters were blown the moment you had to get involved./

/The mission parameters,/Soundwave began again, more hesitantly, /had as a key success factor retrieval of Neptunium ore. This ship has several holds full of it. It is our future. Optimus Prime is our past./

/He will be our past./ Megatron cut the line.


	51. Chapter 51

Megatron found the half-conscious Optimus floating a good distance away. The EMP had burst his propulsion pack, the concomitant explosion stripping off his back panels, damaging his circuitry. Oh this was too delicious for words.

But Megatron was bored with space combat. And Soundwave did claim they held the ship. And what better symbol of his victory than to finish off his mortal enemy on the bridge of his own ship? Delicious.

"You shall say farewell one last time to your beloved Ark," he murmured, in Optimus's audio, as he snatched him out of the sky and raced to the ship's open hangar.

"Where's slaggin' Blackout?" The two jets and Barricade were hunched under the communications array, in the shadow of the large dish. Allegedly a confabulation of cortexes designed to unfrag this mess. Thus far…a bitch session.

"I believe he is taking the yellow mute to the shuttle. He said he had its coordinates."

"Yello—slag it. They're gonna be picking out wedding china." Barricade frowned at the looks from the larger jets. "What? Don't either of you think it's a bit unnatural for a copter to have a thing for a grounder?"

"Jealous much?" Thundercracker smirked. "You'd be all over it if he had a thing for you."

Barricade squirmed. He did NOT have a thing for the fraggin' copter! Nor the jet. Nor anyone. There was room for only one mech in Barricade's tiny, bitter, twisted spark, and that was…Barricade. "Shut up."

Starscream prodded one of his shoulder tires. "Am I going to have to be jealous, Barricade?" he teased.

"Shut UP! Can either of you perverts bother to remember we're still in a bit of a situation here?"

"We are?" Thundercracker looked mildly surprised. "Everyone's out of commission. For spark's sake, we could fly to Vegas and no one would be any wiser."

"It is true," Starscream tapped his chin with one talon. "And tempting. And the Autobots have certainly made enough errors in following out your plan that they deserve what happens to them."

Barricade growled in frustration. "Not supposed to talk me into it, slaggin' jet. Supposed to talk me out of something."

"Out of what?"

Barricade held up the Neptunium chunk. It was small—small enough he could close even his small fist around it. "Not big enough to chain reaction the ship, but could make an impressive door-blow."

"And the door you're planning on blowing?"

"You saw Megatron take Optimus inside."

"You're not going to blow up Megatron."

Starscream's optic glowed. "It would perhaps not be a half-bad idea. And I am surprised you are so hesitant, Thundercracker. Your loyalty issues are…not exactly a secret."

"This is not how you take command, Starscream."

"Is it not? Megatron is a terrible leader. Even you have admitted that I would be better."

Thundercracker frowned. "Yes. All right."

"And what do we do?"

Barricade's hands shook. This was…way bigger than he ever intended on getting. But he'd fragged this whole thing up so bad—they all had—it was instant death as soon as Megatron pieced things together. Soundwave would eventually dish on them. But if there was no one to dish to…. Yes, it was tacky and deus ex machine as all slag, but, Barricade's more creative plans thus far had been abject failures. Maybe cliché and tacky would actually work. "We could kill the Autobots, too," he mused.

"No," Starscream said. "If we are to take over the Decepticon leadership, we need to have some semblance of honor. We made a deal with the Autobots, and they shall remember how we have held our end of the bargain."

"Won't have to worry about what they remember if they're dead," Thundercracker pointed out.

Starscream frowned. "If we must make a new start, let it be with honor."

"Yeah, because blowing up the guy ahead of you is…totally honorable." Thundercracker held up his hands. "Yeah, I know. And I am on your side. And if anyone does deserve it, it IS Megatron."

"I do not mean to be disloyal," Starscream said, pertly. "However, surely you have noticed that since his return he has been…erratic."

No argument there.

"So…what would you do as leader." Thundercracker leaned back against the comm dish's support pillar. "Sell me on this."

Starscream frowned. "I would stop pointless battles. There is nothing for us in this solar system beyond this Neptunium. Nothing here we cannot find in a hundred other star systems. I do not see why we continually bang our heads against this one planet, and against Optimus Prime, when other places are ripe for the taking.

"Cowardice. Running away."

"Is it?" Starscream's optic slitted. "Is a megalomaniac's pursuit of one enemy preferable? I have no insane grudge against any one Autobot, not to the point where I would throw my own mission into disarray in headlong pursuit of my petty vengeance."

"So…we leave."

"We stop wasting our time in battles we cannot win that, even if we did win, cost far too much."

Thundercracker looked impressed. "All right. Got my vote. Only I'm going to hold you to it."

"So," Starscream said, pushing himself to his feet. "We are agreed. Thundercracker and I shall find the Autobots and put them in the CR pods for retrieval. This will remove the Autobots' thoughts of pursuit and revenge. They shall see, truly, that a new dawn has come for the Decepticons, a rule with honor, and justice, and—"

"Painful long-windedness," Thundercracker cut in. "Can we just do this thing? I'll be glad when it's over."

"I'm just glad," Barricade muttered, to break the sudden silence, "the copter's not here."

Inside.

"Optimus," Megatron gloated. "Wake up so you may feel the full agony of death." He looked up, impatiently, at Hook, who shrugged.

Optimus stirred. "Megatron."

"Nice to hear your processor is online. I would hate for you not to know who it was who took you out of this world."

"Megatron."

Megatron looked up, frustrated. Was the Autobot glitching? Couldn't he say something else? Half of his satisfaction, if not more, would be lost if Optimus was unable to beg for his life. "Yes, I. Megatron. I have awakened you so that I may kill you with my own hands."

"My death…serves nothing."

"Your death serves everything," Megatron insisted. "Most of all, my satisfaction at finally being able to tie up this loose end."

"Others will rise. Others will stand against you."

Megatron snorted. "Let them. I shall cut them down even more easily than I have taken out their Prime." He gestured around the hangar bay. "Do you like it? Is this a fitting place for you to die? Your own ship?" He was a little disgruntled that the bridge was such a disaster—so much more fitting to do this there, but dying amid the signs of an Autobot resistance might give Optimus hope. The hangar was barren and sterile, a hopeless place. Suiting the occasion entirely. He gloated at the look of naked dismay on his enemy's face.

Hook muttered something about 'efficiency,' and left. Megatron watched him go, a little disappointed that the audience to his triumph was diminished. This was his moment of triumph, though. It didn't matter if the universe did not witness it now. He would know.


	52. Chapter 52

A/N Next week: it all wraps up! Thanks for all who have come along for our cracky, bizarre, never-know-what-you're-going-to-get ride! And yeah, Optimus's special protection here is actually canon! ^_^

Blackout carried the injured Autobot as fast as he could. He winced at the unmistakable whomp of an EMP behind him, trying to max burn the propack's thrusters to clear the effect area. The yellow mech moved weakly in his grasp.

/Don't move too much, Bonito," he said. "Taking you to the shuttle. Just hang on." Well, not literally. Blackout had the grip thing down. He just didn't want the Autobot to die. Which was stupid: he was the enemy, and Blackout was a warrior. And he was sure if he thought about it that he could list more than a few of his own mechs who had been offlined or injured because of this bouncing annoyance. But suddenly that didn't matter and all that did was that Bumblebee had been decent to him, and even counted on him for help. And that it was an injured mech who needed help.

He activated the hangar auto-door as soon as he got within receiving range, kicking off the thrusters of his propack to land on his feet. "Hey, Autobot? Got another of you for you."

No response. That was unusual. Prowl sure had run his vocalizer back on the ship. And he obviously wasn't engaged in piloting….

Carrying Bumblebee, he strode through the open bay to the cabin, only to see Prowl sprawled, unconscious, across the console. A red warning light blinked by the weapons panel, telling Blackout everything he needed to know. "You were gonna shoot at us," he breathed. "With our own ship." He was torn between anger and worry—in his arms, Bumblebee was humming with low charge. Right. Anger can wait.

He headed to the med-kit—a pull down berth with self-stabilization routines, and dropped the yellow Autobot on it, one exhausted hand slapping to activate the controls. The berth hissed, lowering the weight into its air cushion, a thin metal arm activating from the wall. A good, almost comforting repair bot popped out, shaking itself awake. The repair bot made him so homesick he bit down on his lip. Little Autobot would at least get proper care.

Meanwhile he had to get other orders. He worried they'd missed him whle he was gone. On the flight back, he'd have to cook up a good story.

"Hey," he said, awkwardly patting the yellow helm. "Take care of yourself. Bumblebee."

[***]

Starscream had Sideswipe and Ironhide under his arms. He'd decided to let Thundercracker have the uniqute joy of Ironhide's company. Not that Sideswipe was any great shakes. He squirmed the whole time, complaining. About Starscream's flying. About being taken out of the battle. About what he'd do to Megatron if only Starscream would let him go. It was tempting, truly tempting, to drop the Autobot by the now-closed hangar. But no. A new start for the Decepticons. A reign of conquest but also honor. Starscream kept repeating that to himself like a mantra. Honor. It was the only thing that mattered. They had made a promise and would keep it. And honor didn't allow for slagging one's enemies simply for having a smart mouth.

However, it did allow for gripping one's enemies so tightly that they squealed in pain. Which shut them up. Yes. Starscream: leader in innovative leadership. He was closing on the shuttle—nodding at Blackout as their paths crossed. Blackout shot the load in his arms a questioning look, but flew on back toward the Ark.

/Does the squirming mean that one's online?/ Blackout asked over comm.

/Yes, unfortunately. Both of them are moderately functional. Sideswipe is just…stupid./

/Think they need a pilot in there./

/Prowl has glitched again?/ Starscream smirked. Unstable Autobots. Always an amusement. Unless their instability was the squirmy kind.

/Not quite. But they need a pilot./

/I am not sure I would trust to this one's piloting skills./

Blackout grunted. /Good point. But…there's a lot of open space up here. If he managed to crash into something out here, well…./ It would be hard to feel bad about that level of incompetence.

/If Autobots were meant to fly…,/Starscream quipped. He heard the soft, answering laugh. It gave him hope.

[***]

Megatron grew tired of beating Optimus. It was, he discovered, no fun at all when Optimus didn't fight back. Oh, he was capable enough, at least to attempt to block or try to dodge Megatron's attacks. But he did not. He stood there, arms by his sides. When he got knocked down, he simply stood up again. It was infuriating as much as it was satisfying to hit him unopposed, to feel his warped knuckles strike home on his opponent's faceplate, feel the metal give, groaning, denting. But in the end, even the fun of that wore off.

He had a better idea. "Mindwipe," he called. The black jet pushed himself off the crate he'd been sitting on, and limped over on his stabilized leg.

"Yes, my lord."

"I think that your abilities might be used on this one."

"If you're attempting a retrieval hack," Mindwipe said, "Soundwave would be faster and more precise."

"I do not care about precision. I want him a mindless drone."

Mindwipe nodded. He'd download all of Optimus's files anyway—standard practice—so anything in there would be discovered eventually. Skystalker had way more skill at decrypting that material than he did. But if speed wasn't essential for data recovery…. He stepped forward, booting up the nodes in his wrists, hands extended toward Optimus's processor.

[****]

Optimus allowed Megatron to grab him roughly, pinning his arms to his sides. He didn't struggle when the small unusual mech approached him. He kept telling himself he was stalling for time that the plan would work. He was actually quite surprised Megatron hadn't figured that out yet. If it had come to fighting the Decepticon leader in order to keep him here, he would have, as it was the large silver mech had been content with knocking the slag out of him.

Megatron dug the sharp armour of his leg into the back of Optimus's knee joint causing his legs to buckle sending him to his knees, he gripped him painfully to keep him still. Now this was a position Megatron could get used to seeing Prime in.

Optimus flinched as Mindwipe stared at him. There was something eerie about those glowing red orbs focused solely on his face. He felt a hiss escape his vocaliser as a strange high-pitched whine echoed through his processor. He shook his helm in an attempt to shake the uneasy fog creeping over his processor, he winced and shook his head more vigorously as he felt his audio feedback against whatever signal Mindwipe was projecting into his helm. It had him teetering on the brink of pain; he could feel something scraping away at his firewalls, boring into him. As if he hadn't had enough of this sort of trick with Soundwave. This however was entirely different, there were no tentacles embedded into his cranial unit just those red optics glowing brighter behind their protective visor.

Mindwipe winced as Optimus met his steadfast determined glare with one of his own. He was fighting him, he didn't know quite how but he was fighting him. Mindwipe smirked to himself; well he did enjoy a challenge. Megatron on the other hand would be disappointed; at the rate, he was going, he would turn the Autobot's processor into energon jelly. He would be about as useful as a large, very large paperweight.

Optimus felt his whole body straining against the intrusion into his mind. His optics widened as he saw a third orb start to glow fiercely in the centre of Mindwipe's forehead. He grimaced as the pressure on his processor increased. All he could focus on was that glowing fiery red third optic, which seemed to pulsate and get brighter each passing second. He could feel his firewalls screaming at him, agony shot through him with each pulse of that central optic. Optimus tried to off line his optics and cried out when he found himself unable to tear his sight away from the smaller mech. He had to hold on; he had to buy more time.

Megatron chuckled darkly, focusing on the struggling Prime held tightly in his taloned hands. This was it; this must be what victory feels like to hold. He mused with satisfaction.

Mindwipe's intakes had increased this was proving difficult. Prime should have broken, why was he not breaking? He snarled softly in his throat, pushing in further, it was no use the Autobot had some sort of barrier he couldn't surpass. Prime cried out in protest once more, breaking Mindwipe's concentration.

"GaaaAAHH!" He snapped his helm away sharply, shuttering all three optics. His own processor ached from the strain. "It's no use My Lord. He is protected somehow."

"Try again." Megatron demanded.

Mindwipe glared at his leader. "My Lord it cannot work…Soundwa—"

"What's that noise?" Megatron's attention was suddenly elsewhere. He released his prey and stepped forward, faceplates contorting in confusion. "That sounds like…"

His optics widened in disbelief, his spark and processor telling him the same thing simultaneously. Too late.


	53. Chapter 53

A/N: Well, here you go. The last little bit. We actually finished writing this months ago—and it's been a real trip to re-read it bit by bit as we post. It was a wild collaboration experience—ups and downs and *facepalm* 'I forgot we already did that's and such, but we had so much fun, we really didn't want to say goodbye to writing it, even though both of us have moved on with other projects (which, maybe I'll actually start posting here? I don't know. Lots of robot kissing and stuff….:C ) Anyway, thanks for reading our silly little collaboration fic, and we hope you had fun.

[***]

Barricade cursed as loudly as he dared when he pulled the last length of detcord from its holder in his wheelwell. This fuse…was way too short. There was no way his tiny pro-pack could get him out of the blast zone in time. Slag. Another plan gone to pieces on him. From now on: no more plans. He was done with plans. A nice quiet life for him. Maybe Starscream would let him retire on some distant planet where he could scare the locals and live the easy life and never be depended on for a plan again. Or would pay for him to have a nice berth in the Robot Home for the Very, Very Nervous.

Who the slag was he kidding? He was going to die. The det cord was that short. It was pathetic to even try to get away, but he knew he would. He wasn't an Autobot—if there was a 1/1,000 chance he'd survive by turning his aft and bolting? He had no shame.

And he had to do it: he'd given his word. What good would all his griping be about everyone else letting him down if he at the very end did the same? He hoped they'd remember him, like…at all.

Then again, he hoped they'd forget huge parts of him. Like…most of it really.

Slag. This was getting him nowhere but depressed.

He set the Neptunium in place and broke the chem fuse.

[***]

The explosion bored a violent hole through the deck of the hangar bay, directing the concussive force of the chemical explosion in a vicious cone. It caught Megatron squarely in the body, Optimus falling back from the force, Mindwipe on top of him. The violent decompression tore a wider hole in the ship, popping out rivets as the pressure sliced its way along assembly seams. Soundwave clutched his cassettes, racing backwards toward the shipside airlock door on awkwardly groundbound feet. Mindwipe was on his own.

"Problem?" Hook snapped over the shipside intercom.

"Someone's blown a hole in the deck!" Soundwave cursed. "Autobot resistance. It makes sense they would come after their leader. I knew Megatron was wasting too much time!"

"Megatron's status?"

"Unlikely to be functional. The hangar bay is tearing itself apart from the explosive pressure."

Hook merely grunted in reply. "The Neptunium's safe enough in the hold. If it was going to blow, would have blown by now." Normally, Soundwave respected Hook's blandness, but this was a bit…much. Then again, he hadn't just seen a greenish fury of an explosion tear his leader's chassis in half. And nearly lost his own life in the process. His collector panels trembled from the rush of cybadrenaline.

"Megatron is…offline," he said, his voice awed. That nameless Autobot assassin had done the impossible. Killed Megatron. And this time, there was no putting him back together.

[***]

Barricade pushed off the plate of the belly of the hull, as though the extra boost from his leg servos would make the difference between life and death. Stupid. Still, he tried, and blasted the throttles wide open on his propack, aiming simply….away. He flew on his back, watching the hull recede, not fast enough, not small enough yet as the chrono clicked down the time he had before the det blew.

Oh frag is this what dying feels like? He thought, numbly. Time seemed to stretch, the hull drawing away seemingly by inches instead of yards per precious klik, and then he saw a green explosion blossom from the hole he'd bored in the plating, to direct as much of the blast upward as possible. It wasn't enough. Even with the hangar being fully pressurized, it wasn't enough to contain the explosion. Frag.

The green rays from the detonation stretched toward him. He could SEE the concussion wave forming behind the light, pushing more and more along with it, getting more and more force and power as it rolled to him. When that hits, he thought, it is all over. That is your death rolling at you.

He tried really hard not to blank his optics in fear.

A blaze of pain hit his left side, and his stabilizers spun in a sickening dance, trying to reorient him. By the time his sensor grid popped on line again, he was shaking. Dead?

Not quite.

"I swear to Primus," he said, weakly, "If you save my life one more time, copter, I am going to kill you."

[****]

"So," Starscream said, to the Decepticon forces ranged around the hull of the once great Autobot ship. "As your new leader." He paused, looked around nervously, as if expecting someone to show up and shoot him. Thundercracker cocked his head at him. "As your new leader, I hereby order an immediate cessation of action in this sector. There is nothing for us on that putrid blue ball called Earth. Nothing, certainly, worth the lives and pain of true Decepticons. The Autobots can have their 'Earth'. We shall find another dominion. One worth fighting for." He was, he thought, a natural at stirring speeches. He resolved to give them more often.

"How did it happen?" someone called from the crowd. Ah yes. Starscream had a cover story for that. It was more than Megatron would have done for him, but he had resolved—honor, he told himself—to give Megatron a hero's death.

"Megatron had apparently been fighting for control of the ship against Optimus. The Autobot was losing, badly. Of course." He restrained himself, somehow, from rolling his remaining optic. "And unbeknownst," he paused, so that they could admire the word choice, "to our intelligence," he paused again to shoot a look at Soundwave, "Optimus had installed a cortical bomb, just like we bear."

It made more sense and required less cover up than the truth. An Autobot assassin would require a vengeance mission. And the only two mechs qualified to interpret the data of the explosion were Soundwave and Barricade. It might behoove Starscream (he paused again to admire the vocabulary of even his inner monologue) to publicy ensure that former. "Is that not correct?" He smiled at Soundwave. Beside him, Barricade leaned against the comm pillar, sensorblocked to the point where he couldn't even spell pain, much less feel it. Barricade smiled goofily back at him.

Soundwave fluttered his panels self importantly. "Yes. Examination shows that the explosion emanated from Optimus Prime's cortex. Which is why," he hesitated, then plunged gamely on with the rest of their fabrication, "there is no body."

The real reason there was no body, of course, was the elaborate cover up: Thundercracker had shoved Optimus in one of the remaining CR rescue pods and dropped it with the others as just another bit of space junk. Only this time, it was operational, unlike the other pods whose power cores had been killed by the EMP burst. Starscream had decided, in his first heady rush of executive decision-making, that if they did finish off the Autobot, the other Autobots might decide they needed to retaliate. He was done with retaliations. Done with the ceaseless petty back and forth. They would find their leader, when they came to rescue, as well as could be expected. And with a message from all of them. It was over. It is done. Let us leave. Have your peace. Let us have ours.

Starscream didn't expect peace at all, though. There was conquest to be had, and an army ripe for it ranged before him. The Autobots would suffer more, he thought, as they tried to hammer their swords back into plowshares (or whatever that human expression was—and a clear sign they needed to vacate this system when their idiot euphemisms crept into the great leader's cortex uninvited!). Especially Ironhide.

"So…what do we do?"

"Anything we want," Starscream said. "We have the entire universe before us. We fear no one. I have led us before in Megatron's absence. I shall lead us again, this time to victory."

"Victory," Skystalker snapped. The small plane was irate that Mindwipe had been damaged—he had taken the worst of the blast, had, in a sense that would sicken him, shielded Optimus with his own frame. Mindwipe was in heavy regen in the ship's med bay, Hook whistling happily as he worked. And if Hook was happy, things were going well. "Where the slag is victory?"

Starscream's smile took on an edge. "Ah. While these Autobots and their leadership engage themselves accommodating to the humans," he heard Barricade's disgusted snort, which sent a surge of reassurance through his own spark—they had come through, they had survived, "Cybertron lies but weakly defended."


End file.
